Hey
Posted By: Shannon on 2008-10-09
In Reply to: How do you handle being jealous of stepkids? - anon
Well first off I don't think you're being ridiculous, I think that she is more than a little spoiled. But let me say from a stepchild's point of view, that she is probably just as jealous of you as you are of her!
This is a tricky case to deal with, as if you seem like you are against her, then he might become against you, but if you give in to her in every instance, then she will learn really quickly to walk all over you.
I don't envy your position at all. I'll say that I think when it's two girls (step daughter and step mom) it's a lot more difficult then step daughter/step dad. I absolutely hated my stepmother (well not only did she "steal my daddy" she was a drunk and a little crazy and ended their relationship with "it's either me or the kids! BTW...don't do that! :) ) but I love my step dad. Plus I was a lot older when my mom and step dad got married.
I would say try to sit down and talk with him when she isn't around and when you aren't angry and he isn't angry. Wait until a neutral time, when he isn't just coming in from work or on his way out the door or, as I tend to do, at midnight when your lying in bed and it's bugging you but he's half asleep!
Good luck, I hope it works out for you! It's not fair to you at all, but just remember this little girl has to deal with figuring out where to place you in her mind. She knows your not mommy but she knows your important to her dad, and at that age I think its sometimes hard for them to comprehend.
Hope this helped a little!
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