Help! Pushy parents think I work from home and can drive their kids etc
Posted By: Bee on 2007-07-11
In Reply to:
I am constantly being asked to watch people's kids because I work from home. The latest is a friend of my son attending the same camp in another town. The friend I will call Scotty. Scotty has two parents. His father works from home as a computer consultant. My friends and I have called Scotty's dad to work on our computers and he never even returns the call or shows up. Scotty's mom recently asked me if I could drive her son home from them because the dad gets busy and doesn't like to leave clients. I told her that I too am working from home and have to minimize my time in the car. Scotty does not live close to us. I feel like a big meanie but they have pushed me before. Last year our kids were not even in the same camp but the mom called and asked if I would drive and pick up her son every day because i live in the same town as the camp. I was like ??? no way.
They used to drop Scotty off at my house on school holidays. They would drop him off at 7 AM and then once the mom called me at 5 PM and said she wanted to get an oil change and asked me if I could keep scotty until 7:30 PM. I said NO and then she came to pick him up earlier but stayed at my house uninvited until 9:30 when I just said I HAVE TO GO TAKE A SHOWER.
Anyone have clever ways to handle these situations?
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Poll for parents with school aged kids at home...sm
1. What ages are your kids?
2. Do they have their own cell phone?
3. Do they have their own TV and or computer in their room? If so, are there set hours they're allowed to use these:
4. Do they receive an allowance? If so, are they required to do chores to receive this?
As for our house, here's the answers. Kids are 15 and 8. 15-year-old has a cell phone and pays her bill. 15-year-old has a TV. The kids share 1 PC that is where we can see what they're doing on it, and they're limited to no more than an hour a day on it if it's a school day. We do have parental controls in place. They don't receive an allowance but they are aware of a special chores list that they can choose to do extra things around the house to make money. They are required to keep their rooms and bathrooms cleaned, as well as alternate cleaning up the kitchen after dinner.
Kids at home while you work? How do you (sm)
make sure they know you are "at work" even though you are right there? I have worked at home in the past but had issues with this. Mine are old enough now to be home while I work (10 & 7), but I would love any ideas of how to make sure they respect my work hours. Any ideas?
Rainy, cool, dark. Home working with plenty of work. Hubby and kids are sm
picking up toys, taking them to Goodwill. LOVE days like this.
Why not drive down to your parents on
x
Well I figure I can make my own hours & be home when the kids are home (sm)
I worked PT in an office for a while but spent most of my money on childcare in the summer. Full-time in an office was just a nightmare and I felt like I missed a whole year of my children's lives. I want to be in control of my schedule so that's why I'm looking into the cleaning thing. Never thought I would want to do that but live and learn! Some of the most intelligent people alive work as carpenters and similar things because they have learned what's really important in life. Whew....off my soapbox now :-) Good luck to you!
It didn't work out due to combining of kids and step kids. nm
*
They are both the kids parents - they should both help (nm)
x
It certainly is sad for the kids and their parents but -
I would much prefer to hear about an 11-year-old or 13-year-old being abandoned under the Safe Haven laws rather than hearing about their mother or father deciding the only way out of a desperate situation was to kill their children and themselves.
The children are old enough that they have probably had numerous conversations with their parent(s) about why they are being left and how to find them later (at least I hope so.)
Dr/kids/parents
Need some advice. My 12 year old son has been ill on and off since October of last year. My hubby and I have had him to the dr. several times since October. In January a new care provider diagnosed him with Mono. He had missed 12 days of school with that and we were told it would take a great amount of time to get him over this, as he probably (according to the new doc) had mono at that time and was never properly diagnosed. After sending him back to school the 3rd week in January he comes home and relates to us that he hurts and is sooooo tired. This resulted in another dr. visit. This time we were told that he was still fighting whatever infection and this was normal. He missed a week of school with that episode.
This morning he wakes up and is complaining of an earache and running a slight fever. I am very concerned and have run out of ideas on what to do next? I just want to make sure he is properly cared for and there is not some underlying process going on that they are not able to diagnose.
Can anyone offer some advice to this worry wart of a mother.!!!!!!!!!!
Well duh....kids do need two parents BUT - sm
that is not always the case. Some moms and dad are just plain bad parents. In this woman's case she is trying to do the best she can, being mom and dad, and kid is trying to push it to the limits. Maybe the dad was the feared one in the house, certainly sounds that way, so the son now thinks with dad gone mom will let him do whatever he wants. Maybe that is what has happened with his friends. It is a lot of work to be a single parent. I have two friends that are single parents. #1--She left/divorced her DH when their only child was only a year or so old. He is $14K behind in child support but she is afraid of him so will not take him to court for the money. Luckily she has a very good job, and has now moved back in with her widowed dad to help take care of him. Her daughter is now a very well-adjusted 14-y/o who never sees her dad because he just won't make any effort. My friend has bent over backwards to try to get him to be an active father, he is just a total aaaasssss though. #2- Her kids actually begged her to divorce their dad. He was very verbally abusive and controlling. My friend had to hide money to have any. She would buy stuff at the store then return it for cash in order to save up money to leave him. The kids were quite happy with the divorce and hated to go to their dad's on the visitation weekends. Her daughter did it for about 2 years then refused to go--he of course took my friend to court on that, but luckily for the daughter she was not forced to go back to visitation. Now her son, 16, just told dad he does not want to visit with him anymore either. My friend is waiting for the court documents to come now...hopefully he won't take her back to court again. The dad puts strings on everything and they are not allowed to do anything over there, no friends, no TV, no electronics. Either clean the house, read, or stare at the walls basically, and be yelled at most of the time as well. He never takes them anywhere (to cheap), and spends most of his time tinkering with his truck or one of his motorcycles. He used to hold the child support hostage on my friend, would not give it to her if she ticked him off or until she would do something he wanted her to do, she finally got tired of that crap and went to the state and now gets it through the state/family courts. Only 2 years left on the one and 1 on the other so almost done with that. Then she can basically cut all ties with her ex, she will probably have a big party when the younger child turns 18. ----So in both their cases the dad's stink. #1's ex is AWOL basically, and #2's is a controlling jerk, it is his way or not at all basically. ----some men/women do step up to the plate and become better parents but I believe that they are the exception to the rule. ---I am sure counseling would help the entire family come to grips with the changes they are going through , and children need to be given firm boundries, etc. so they knows what is expected of they.
parents are suppose to be there for their kids, but he needs to get his s**t together
What kind of man lives on mommy? I am sure you don't want your son on this path.... I feel bad for you too! People go into the reserves so they can also have another job or go to college.... this sounds like a case for Dr. Phil... in fact I have seen this on there and he told the mothers to give them an ultimatum of either help out or GET OUT!!!
Some kids think this is funny, their parents laugh
and I for one totally agree with the school system. My daughter and her friends years ago thought that was cute to pass gas and belch out loud. She was called down on it every time I was around and thank goodness, she is now 33 and has finally learned how to behave herself and act like she has some sense. I think parents overlook their responsibility for not calling down kids on doing this. It is not fun for grownups and should be attended to promptly. Unless medical concern, it really shows lack of manners and upbringing.
lazy parents don't monitor their kids or keep them on the right
nm
Parents DO NOT owe kids college education.
When DD started college we paid,,,, at first. But she did NOTHING to help herself. From her part time job, all her money went to nails, clothes, meals out with friends, etc. She did nothing about getting scholarships. After 1st year, I said I wouldnt pay anything else. DH continued to help her. She did apply for scholarship thru DH work and got $2000. Of that money, she ended up dropping a class paid for with that money, cause it was too early (8:00am). Bottom line, she did nothing towards finishing school, in fact, quit going, did not increase work hours. I stopped giving her ANY money at that point. She ended up marrying Marine boyfriend and is now working at Dollar Store. These were HER choices, instead of completing her teaching degree, of which she only had 2 years to go. I told her why should I spend my hard earned money on her when she was doing absolutely nothing to help herself. She knew if she was making an effort to her future I would help her, but not if she wasnt doing anything for herself.
I think in this day and age parents should plan a way for their kids to attend college (sm)
$1000 a month is nothing compared to what it actually takes to raise two kids.
She made her choice but parents at least owe their kids a chance (sm)
She was given that chance and blew it - some would blow it and some would not. But I still think that with the way our country works today if you do not at least try to help your kids get through college you have not finished your job as a parent.
It burns me up when parents support their bratty kids' actions
This kid is going to get some bumps and bruises from the School of Hard Knocks, otherwise known as LIFE.
I know- why don't I work at home instead??
My priorities are in line. Money is not my priority right now, my children are. Nobody must love you, do they? poor thing! Wonder why?
Try this too....tell them you work at home if you do
It saved me 50% on my premium just for that! Some companies do not do this but others do. Maybe try finding an insurance agency close by where they can shop for the best rate.
I work from home sm
and even without distractions there are a few days when I can't concentrate at all. I contribute it to burn-out, luckily after a good work out, a short call to a dear friend, or a wonderful piece of chocolate cake I can motivate myself to get the work done.
Do you work at home?
Maybe he is afraid of interrupting your work.
I just got home from work and
checked the board to find all these kind responses. It means so much to me that we have this love of our pets and can share the sorrow of their loss.
Here is another picture of CJ and Sasha and me at one of our favorite parks:
If you work at home -- how come so much gas
If you work at home, maybe these
feelings have nothing to do with your husband and marriage, but everything to do with your job. Being at home so many hours, every day being mostly the same can really make a person feel nutty.
Just a thought. 
just because you work at home
None of my daughter's friend's mothers work. Since I work at home it looks to them like I don't work either. I have to schedule my kids things to do when I work, just like people who work outside the home. This whole lazy days of summer thing does not really apply to me and my bored kids can really come after me while I am on the computer all day.
DH and his little gnome just got home from work...
and I was informed, with a big grin, that paybacks are heck! 
Do you fix a schedule and work to it at home?
Do you fix a schedule and work to it at home?
If you are working from home like me, housework always seems to interrupt work. The doorbells, the children, the cups of tea etc etc.
I have tried working to a schedule but never managed to do so.
Reminds me of the work at my home
I was on the back and asked person inside to catch the front door as I was busy. They had just started building home next door, had not even poured the foundation and was asking for some water. I said no, the store just up the street and being as husband was in the contracting business, I knew he usually took his help big water containers with them. In a short while at front of house, blinds drawn but noticed movement outside the window and they had the water on outside and stealing my water- I called the police. Really ticked me off.
I understand !!! - From a Work at Home Mom
WOW! 3 sets of twins....
My 2 are years apart, however my 4 years old is a handful let me tell you. Of course she is also the joy of my life. However, trying to work at home with her can be interesting at times. I get a kick out of people that say they want to "Work at home" to be "home with kids". LOL Little do they realize at times they will need to call in help or work when they are in school, or asleep or nap times. :-)
It can be hard to hear a Dr. Dictation with a 3 or 4 year old throwing a fit because they did not get their way or pulling on your arm because they want you to STOP NOW and play.
Of course family time and personal time is very important when working at home and we all need to remember that one. (smile)
I know my biggest dilemma in working at home was getting others to realize I really AM working at home and not just at home. I would get calls from friends, family, etc. wanting me to run to the store, get chores done, go to eat brunch, etc. When I would say that I had to get my work done they would be like - "well you can set your own time right, work anytime". Yes, you can set your own schedule most times, however like any job I had a deadline and that meant working when I could get the quiet time to do so. lol.
Once they saw it was a REAL job then they did start to respect it more. Yet, it did take me brining in my first few checks for them to realize it. Now, I let phone calls go to voice mail unless it is important when working and let others know when I am working so they try to not call during those times.
I think all women and men that start working at home go through something like this at first.
BTW - A friend told me about a great site that is having a Christmas in July Sale if you want to visit it: www.gift-outlet-shopping.com
I found some great deals there. ;-) God Bless.
Kay
proudmommymd@aol.com
Here is another site that I found useful in getting a work at home job before I became a Medical Transcriptionist. It is called Work @ Home Affiliation at: www.workathomeaffiliation.com
Hope they become useful to you, and no I do not get anything for recommending them. I am just another work at home mom that likes to recommend sites that I find useful just like my friend did when she sent me the Christmas in July Store link.
Have a great week!
Kay
I was driving home from work..sm
got the tail end of the report, mostly just that he'd been taken to the hospital, but the somber tone of voice made me realize pretty quickly that he had died. VERY sad day for me, I've always been a fan.
Went out at 4:00 a.m., home by 6:30 a.m., started work at 8:00 a.m. (nm)
x
A home, so I can settle down and work.
x
nothing! I work at home and have no one to impress!!!
I have this stupid acne probelm and have been trying to fix it with everything and just gave up!!! Sometimes I wear night cream and eye cream. I never had acne as a teenager and now in my mid 20s it is horrible!!! I CANT BELIEVE YOU CAN AFFORD SMASHBOX or SEPHORA!!! On my little MT salary I can afford Wet and Wild or maybe buy one get one free Cover Girl or Maybelline!!! LOL!!!
kids at home
When I began working at home, my children were 7 and 12, and I was also a single ma, but they were old enough to not be watched every single second. At first, I had my computer in my kitchen, then my family room, which the kids were usually in if they were not outside, and I could see my back yard perfectly at either place.
I stopped often, to answer questions, help, make breakfast, lunch, etc., but when I compared my interruptions to the alternative, working at the hospital, my interruptions were worth it, especially during the summer or when they were ill. There is a fine line between letting your children feel that you are not to be bothered during work. You don't want them to ever feel that they cannot come to you with a question or problem. Sure, I remember feeling frustrated and maybe venting when I wish I could have been more patient, and I felt like some days were not near as productive as during the school year when they were in school, but it was worth it to me. Sometimes I even told them not to bother me unless they were bleeding or the house was on fire, but that is not wise.
Most of the time I remained honest with them, telling them that "mommy's gotta finish this report, honey, hold on and when I finish this report, I will talk to you."
I tried to be as proactive as possible, even though I am a huge procrastinator, and I would maybe make sandwiches ahead of time, pack a lunch for them, just like on school days.
I would use my breaks to maybe run them to a friend's house, go pick up a friend or to drop them off at the golf course (of course when they were older and not driving) and then come back home and work, sometimes maybe only an hour until it started raining.
Oh, I should probably tell you though, now they are 19 and 25, and they don't bother me at all anymore......
Do you have kids that were home
from school yesterday? I did and that's why I think today feels like Monday. Although, I haven't had the day you're having. I hope things are better this afternoon. If you have some tea around, try a cup. Sometimes it makes you feel more relaxed. Have a great afternoon!!!
Staying at home and sleeping it in. Have to be at work at
4:30 a.m. on New Year's Day.
LOL! My husband came home from work and put that one on immediately! sm
I have to admit, I don't remember too many of these. But, to refresh your memory, let me tell you what's on this 2-disc set:
Three is a magic number.
Conjunction Junction
Lolly, Lolly, Lolly get your adverbs here!
Interjections!
Electricity! Electricity!
The Preamble
Interplanet Janet
A Noun is a person, place, or thing
The Shout heard round the world
There is 283 minutes of this stuff! I'm excited my kids are into this.
For a work-at-home MT? I'd say a couple of days max.
I've always been one to work when I'm sick. When you're working at home, you can take frequent breaks and lie down if you need to. I had a staph infection in my ankle, had to have it debrided, was in the hospital for a week and worked on my laptop from the hospital bed. Came home from the hospital, and didn't miss a beat. Of course, I was doing strictly QA then, so not a lot of pedal work, just list4ening to blanks and stuff.
With lap procedures, the point is less recovery time. Plus you consider the sedentary nature of our work, really there's no reason why we can't go right back to work. It's not like we're doing any heavy lifting.
The only thing that would require we take time off from work would be some sort of hand or arm ailment.
PA too and our kids were actually sent home early
due to the heat! We were never sent home for that one. Spent the day at the pool with the kids and now it's time to work.
Would you ever kick your kids out of your home?
Are your kids welcome to stay in your home for as long as they like?
My 15 year old asked if we'd ever kick him out or his older brother. I said they'd always have a home with us as long as they follow our rules.
No glad my kids are grown and out of home...
Anyone who thinks their kids are bad - well get this 3 BROTHERS here 10, 12 and 14 charged with crimes related to their breaking and entering and then completely destroying a Headstart school. They threw not only paint and other solvents over the place but also left own bodily fluids such as feces and urine, totally destroying computers, games, floors, the whole building, probably over $100,000 damage. I thank my lucky stars I do not have to even think about putting up with that.
She has 2 wonderful kids whom she home schools
They are ages 13 (boy) and 10 (girl). My sister died at age 27 of cancer and left a husband and 8 yo boy. My sister was also 6 months pregnant when they found the cancer and she lost the little girl after going to MD Anderson and all the treatment, and my sister only lived 6 months.
There is such a concern here because of my having kidney cancer and given 6 months to live, but I have been in remission for 4 years now.
My sister had breast cancer, in remission for 5 years.
I am open to any help anyone has, be it good or bad. Thanks.
Any kids with wife#2 are living at home and being
Kids should not expect to college paid for, so hubby should not pay for college for kids with wife#2 since he did not pay for college for kids with wife #1.
There's lots of things kids can do at home
all summer that are worthwhile and free. Take them to the library once every week or two and get them reading! Where I lived as a kid it was hot all day, so I read all day and played outside in the evening when it was cooler. It doesn't have to be books, either. It can be magazines, comics, or whatever. Just the 'reading' part is the key. I used to read and re-read old comic books, Life magazines, National Geographics, and books on animals and earth sciences. I also think I read Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn multiple times each during the summer.
Kids can put on a neighborhood circus (and make some cash by charging admission). They can put on a pet show. We used to have pet shows, haunted houses, dog shows, cat shows, talent contests, bike races and foot races, too, and hurdles contests.
With some scrap wood, hammers, nails, etc., (if they're not too small) they can build things. We all had tree houses in just about every large tree in the neighborhood. My friend built a go-cart, and I built a wooden wagon. I also collected rocks, and used that wagon to haul home my latest acquisitions from around the neighborhood. (Much to my mother's dismay... she apparently didn't have the 'rock-gene' that my siblings and I all seem to carry!) Starting collections of any type (even if it's not rocks) can be a fun summer pastime.
Making mud pies and cookies was fun, as was collecging pollywogs and watching them magically turn into frogs.
A job such as painting a fence (a-la Tom Sawyer) can be a messy but fun experience for kids. Or, creating a mural.
Art projects are fun, too. How about giving each kid a journal to write their private thoughts and dreams in? Or, an older child can be taught the basics of cooking or sewing, which will come in handy some day when they're older. You could also teach hand-sewing, beading, embroidery, etc., and let kids make themselves a T-shirt or tank top, shorts, etc. that is work of wearable art.
Or, how about starting a veggie garden for the kids to take care of? They could also be involved in cooking and eating what they grow.
Even though it seems useless, the down-time in the summer, spent just doing NOTHING, isn't as bad as it appears, and when kids don't have every minute booked up for planned activities, they learn to explore what's interesting to them, and amuse themselves.
Husband for sale - harder to work with him home than the grandkids. (sm)
He is cleaning our furnace and muttering, muttering, hollering where is this, I bet I have got up and went in there 4 times this morning to just have him mutter never mind I found it.
You gotta love them, but he of all people should know my money comes from my butt being in that chair.
Work at home, homeschooling a Kindergartner mom is feeling today like sm
the old sayin' goes: Raisin' kids is like being pecked to death by chickens.
Just having one of those days. My 3 year old received a Diego toy that he loves! Unfortunately, his 5 year old brother loves it too! I am off today, thank God. Thinking of taking them to see Mr. Bean's Holiday...Oh the joys of homeschooling...
I LOVE it! On most days..
I used to work at night when kids
were little so he could watch them while I worked and also do some stuff around the house. Fair is fair. He learned very quickly how hard it is to get things done while watching a couple of children and holding down a job.
its better to raise kids in a happy divorced home
To all you married moms with kids and hubby at home,
do you ever dream about living by yourself? Not just with no kids, but with no hubby either? I love my family, but when I feel overwhelmed, when life gets too stressful, I can't help but think how peaceful that kind of life would be, with just myself to take care of. Of course I know in my heart that if I was by myself I would be bored and lonely, but right now it sounds really good! It has been one of those days...
Glad you work at home and not subjecting people to have to pretend they like working with you.
.
My kids knew no work , no money
I did not have to beg, plead, cajole, swear, swat or promise the kids anything. They had a room over their head, food to eat, bills paid- I told them from a very early age the necessity of my working. I do not believe you have to give prizes to a child for doing what they should- and that would be leave you alone while at work. Too many things kids can entertain their own self- at (after a certain age, of course) so you do not wind up having to entertain them.
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