He very obviously has some anger issues s/m

• My dad....sm - sm
  • He very obviously has some anger issues s/m - MI-MT
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    • He is scary sometimes...sm - curious girl
      • Isn't this what restraining orders - Me

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I would also be hurt that someone you do so much for would treat you like that.  Unfortunately, the other posters are right:  No point in being angry because she obviously wouldn't get it.  I know that's easier said than done.  I would pursue the dream house.  I doubt they could get it anyway; they sound like losers.  If they can't drive to pick up their kids, how do they get to work?

As for helping out with their kids, I'd say sure if you have $5 for gas before you pick them up.  If they can't afford $5 towards your gas, they can't afford that house and it's their problem to transport their kids, not yours.  If they can afford it, put it in your new house fund, whether it be this dream house or another one!

Keep us posted -- would love to know if you get the house, and if not, let us know if she doesn't (see I told you I'd feel the same way).  Cuz the only thing that would make me feel better about not getting it, would be that she didn't get it either!!

Here's the story:  My ex-sorta-sister-in-law shares a child with my brother.  They both have DUIs and neither one of them can drive.  They only call me when they need help getting their child (who is the same age as mine and attends the same school) picked up after school and delivered to either one of them. 

I own a home in the city, a pretty bad neighborhood, and I happened upon this magnificent house very near her house, in the correct school district.  This house is on a dead-end dirt road surrounded only by trees and nature.  Truly the perfect house for me. 

So, here's what happened.  She needed me to pick her up and then go pick up her child after school.  On the way of returning them home, I said to her, "Oh, Sue, let me show you my dream home."  I drive her past it, saying how I so want this house and I'm going to make it happen.  She says, "Wow, that would be perfect for me and my family" (she has three other kids, having had this child with my brother while having an affair outside her marriage). 

Well, sure enough, at the open house on Sunday, there she was with her four kids and her her toothless husband -- making plans for who gets which room.  I told her I was less than pleased that she was trying to snatch my dream, when her husband stated, "Whoever gets to the bank first gets it." 

My feeling is that she was out of line.  There are thousands of houses for sale in this town and I had displayed extreme interest in this one.  Sure, it's no one's house until the financing is in order, but I feel like she stepped on my toes.  Now, when she calls me tonight asking to deliver her child again, I really feel like I'm out fo favors for this woman.  She obviously has no regard for me.  Am I right to be so miffed?   

Okay, let me just give a little background first.  My husband has bipolar disorder as did his mother.  His mother disappeared in 1999 and is presumed dead.  He has never gotten over that.  My husband is also an alcoholic.  Over this past year, he fell off the wagon and his mental health has deteriorated.  In May, he tried to overdose on Ambien and was hospitalized for week in the VA Mental Health Unit.  This past Monday, he drank himself into oblivion and slit his wrists, severe enough that he required stitches.  He is now spending at least two weeks in psychiatric facility outside the VA system (because the government does not take care of our veterans, but don't get me started!).  He does not remember cutting himself.

We have two children and as you can imagine this was all very upsetting for them.  I called my father-in-law the day that all that happened to ask him to help me with his son.  I left a lengthy voicemail saying I was trying to protect his grandkids and take of his son and that he barely has any contact with his son since he remarried.  I said that his son was still his son and needed his help.  My FIL never even bothered to call me back nor did he call my husband (I left the number for the facility on my message).  He didn't even call Christmas Day!

The thing is my FIL and his wife are very self-righteous Christians except that they only play at being Christian for appearance sake.  When someone really, REALLY needs them, they only offer prayer.  My husband has a brother who is a convicted child molester serving a 20 year sentence in prison for molesting his own daughter.  My FIL and his wife have made a huge show of ministering to the child molester.  They visit him regularly.  They fill his prison account up with money so he can buy a TV and a typewriter to have in his cell.  He was up for parole this past year and they spent thousands of dollars on an attorney and thousands of hours making phone calls and writing letters on his behalf to get him out on parole.  They tell everyone they know how they have sacrificed and ministered to this son.  And he is born again now and all will be wonderful when he is released.

By my husband, his other son, never hears from his dad.  His father never visits.  My kids get gifts sent to them on their birthdays and at Christmas, but he rarely talks to them or sees them. 

Suffice it to say, there is A LOT of background info.  Last night, after I lied to my husband about his father knowing he was in the hospital (I said his father didn't know because my husband was wondering why his father hadn't called) I became very, VERY angry.  So I retrieved email addresses of friends and family my FIL and his wife from old forwarded emails that I had saved.  And then I wrote a very long, very detailed email about my FIL and his wife, about my BIL and his crimes, and then I ended it with an excerpt of scripture and a paragraph saying we are called to love our children unconditionally as our Heavenly Father loves us and we should never turn our backs on any of our children.

I then sent this email.  After I sent it, I started to maybe think I shouldn't have done it.  When I'm angry, I tend to let go without thinking.  So what do you guys think?  Was I right or wrong?  And if I shouldn't have sent the email, should I now send a followup email explaining I was angry and apologize or should I just leave it alone and figure the damage is already done?

Psychologists say that people who take pleasure in running other people down have no self-esteem, are usually unhappy with their lives, and it kind of lifts them up to run someone else down.  Maybe we should feel sorry for her. Uh.  Maybe tomorrow.

My son is not very honest.  When I had him for my summer visitation this year, he talked about possibly wanting to stay here, but kept changing his mind constantly.  Finally he said he wishes he could try living with me for a year and see if he liked it.  I told him his dad would never go for that (the ex is now on an SSI disability and is also drawing SSI for my son - so his motives for keeping him there are very financial).  My son admits one major thing holding him back is he likes his school and his friends and doesn't want to leave them.  Its up to my son to decide when he's had enough and is ready to tell the judge he wants out of there and stick with it. I'm not pressuring him to make a change.

During our epic custody battle, the whole thing started because my son said "get me out of here" and started telling horror stories, which were mostly true, from what I saw firsthand.  I made sure he got a CASA (his own court-appointed advocate) so his side would be told to an "impartial" third party.  But my son was not honest.  He changed his mind and stories constantly and protecting daddy suddenly became a big deal.  He recanted everything he told me, my mother, and relatives on his dad's side (seeing his father and other adults naked, physical abuse, drugs/drinking going on, etc.) - either he said it never happened or his memory completely disappeared on issues where I had firsthand knowledge that it was true.  When the golden moment came to advise the CASA what his wishes were, suddenly he was quite happy at dad's, and didn't really care which parent he lived with.

This is one reason I have to see something in writing from my son before I grab this hot potato again.  I love him, but I cannot trust that he won't make me look like a fool and waste endless time and money to help him, when he does a 180 and wants no help when help arrives.  He claims to be disgusted by his father's drug use, but refuses to get him in trouble, even when I assure him I begged the court repeatedly to drug test us both and see the truth and the court declined to touch that issue.  He has pondered whether to play hardball with his dad and give an ultimatum that if he doesn't get off drugs he'll come live with me - this shows me at this time he still wants to be there or he would gladly walk away.

Most, if not all, of someone's "other psych issues" with their gender identity comes from society's attitude toward it.  Once they have completely transitioned, most of those issues go away.

"Psych issues" usually include -

being forced into an uncomfortable gender by an accident of birth and told they can do nothing about it

being treated like a monster by family and friends who can't accept that they need to change

being treated like a pariah and a target by perfect strangers who think its OK to abuse them any way they please, up to and including murder

finding it nearly impossible to find romance, because few are open minded enough to deal with this personally, given a choice

very messy situations in the workforce while trying to transition - mainly caused by coworker's opinions and attitudes

people in general who refuse to see the person but only see the gender issue, and judge the person automatically without educating themselves on the condition at all

My son, who is in the process of becoming my daughter, passes so well as "female" that unless you knew what's in that person's pants, you'd never know she's "male".  Once legally transitioned (with all the paperwork changed to reflect female gender), nobody that meets my daughter will see her as a freak.  It is only people that knew her before, as a male, that will have problems with "her".  So as long as those people continue to give her grief, yes, it will cause "psych issues", just as lifelong harrassment and judgmental ignorance against you would cause anyone some "psych issues".

She is showing classic signs of a UTI. She should be checked out by a vet as urinary issues can be deadly in cats if not treated as soon as possible.

I live in the country and all my cats have always been indoor cats. One lived to the age of 21.

What is your reasoning for allowing her to roam outside? Is she UTD with vaccinations? (as in all her kitty vaccs, nothing more)

My stepson is 19 years old and has become a major problem for me.  Here is some background.  I met my husband when his child was 6 years old.  The boy’s mother was an absolute nightmare and, long story short, he came to live with us when he was 9.  His mother since has had nothing to do with him, except occasionally raising her ugly head to cause trouble for our family, but nothing as far as mothering him in any way, shape or form.  A side note is that she has some serious mental and emotional issues.  Once he came to live with us, I have mothered him and supported him throughout his years in elementary school, middle school and high school, doing everything for him as far as school and sports were concerned and we were very close up until he was about 15.  Things really started to go downhill when he was about 16.  He is, academically, very bright and was on the high honor roll every year from the 7th grade to about the 11th grade.  That is when his grades and his attitude became horrible.  He came very close to not even graduating from high school, but he pulled through and, by the skin of his teeth, managed to graduate.  Outside the home, he seemed to be an angel, but at home he was very disrespectful and rude to both his father and myself and his little brother (11 years younger than himself).  He became very snide and mean-spirited and if anyone dared to question his actions or attitude, he would throw a fit, start screaming and swearing at the top of his lungs.  Some of the things he has said to me in the past were beyond disrespectful and well into hateful.  His father never seemed to want to punish him in any way. (I think because he just did not want to deal with his outbursts.)  Fast forward, after a miserable summer, he went off to college about 2-1/2 hours away.  I was actually relieved and hoped that maybe some time on his own would make him rethink his attitude at home.  Another issue is that he absolutely refuses to do anything close to resembling work to get money for himself, which is a big deal for me, because I think having a good work ethic is important.  His father said that because his grades were good, he was not going to push the working issue.  He came home after his first year with same crap attitude, had a miserable summer with him and he went back to school…. same old, same old.  Now Christmas break is here and he is home.  The first thing he does is fight with his father about working over break, which we made clear to him that it was an expectation.  Suddenly, low and behold, he does not think he is going to be able to get hours life guarding.  I started to feel a little better about things when he was able to get a couple shifts and at least he made some sort of effort.  Last night, he was going to take his brother to a wrestling match, which I was glad and appreciated.  It was my youngest son’s birthday present and he had been looking forward to going with his brother.  We gave them 25.00 for parking and snacks and my youngest had 10.00 of his own money that he saved from his birthday to get whatever he wanted, program, etc.  The event ended about 10:30 and they were on the road home (about a 15-minute drive).  An hour later, I call the cell phone and ask where they are, answer was on the road.  I explained to my stepson that his brother had school and I wanted him right home.  15 minutes later I call again and my stepson asks me if I am an F*ing retard and he said he was on the way home.  I knew he was lying immediately.  I asked to speak to my son, and he said no, so now I’m really mad.  They finally get home and I ask my younger son where they went.  He tells that they stopped at his grandmother’s to get something to eat because his brother would not let him get anything at wrestling, but please don’t tell his brother he told because he told him not to say anything to me.  I asked if he got a souvenir with his money.  The answer was no because his brother would not let him get anything.  By this point, I am furious, but just get him ready to go to bed and hit the hay myself.  Of course, if I said anything to my stepson, there would be screaming and swearing, and I hate when he behaves this way in front of my 8-year-old.  This morning, I asked where my change was from the wrestling.  Except for parking and 1 soda, there should be about 25.00 left.  He tells me that he is keeping that money to put gas in his car and just refused to give it to me.  I am so upset about this that my stomach is in knots.  I truly dislike him and just wish he would go away.  He has been nothing but a problem for the past 4 years and I am worn out and over it.  My level of anxiety is through the roof.  I feel terrible for feeling this way, but I am resentful of him and misery he causes our family.  I just wish he would go back to school and stay there.  I know that this is way too long, but I had to let this out.