He refuses to do that. He says no way is he leaving (sm)
Posted By: Butter and clutter on 2007-07-30
In Reply to: I agree totally this this post, though I have never been married, - I do have a child. They should come first-sm
I have tried for so long to hold this marriage together for the sake of the children - but what am I teaching them if I continue to live in this situation? That it is okay for men to treat women badly? That you just let people treat you however they want? That spouses don't have to respect each other?
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My DH needs to go to the dentist, he refuses. We have been
married 18 years and he hasn't been since we've been married. I told him I would make an appointment for him and the rest of the family to go and we'd do it all at once and he is adamant that he is NOT going. I don't know why he doesn't want to go. I know they will tell him he needs lots of work because he does. His teeth are rotten, but stained badly and I feel like it is holding him back from advancing in the job market. I'm going to make appointments tomorrow for the whole family and tell him he's going too. He'll have to cancel the appointment if he's not going to go and I'm don't plan on telling him the name of the dentist (we are going to a new one since my kids have aged out of the pediatric dentist).
My husband refuses to move (sm)
My husband and I bought this house 10 years ago - it is almost 50 years old. We talked about our intentions of remodeling - I didn't know he meant over a lifetime. We have not even painted all of the rooms yet, much less fixed the sagging floors or termite-eaten pantry. The house is too small for our family now as well, is on very busy road, and there are no children around for my kids to play with. On the positive side it is in a good area and we have a very large yard. I have been asking to move however, since about a year after we bought the place. Instead, he has insisted that we are now here for life. He has built himself a barn, dog pens, chicken coops, etc. and enjoys practicing shooting out in the yard with his hunting dog, when he is home and not out hunting or fishing. He is an educated engineer and has a very good job, and I had no idea that he would end up being such an avid hunter. I met him in another state and he did none of this back then - I dated him for 5 years before we got married, he only hunted about twice a year when he visited his dad. Then we moved back to his home state, NC, and it all spiraled from there. Our yard is full of rolls of wire, chicken pens, stinky dog pens and piles of wood and bricks. Our carport is filled with a camoflauge john boat, rubber waders and about 100 duck decoys. In the freezer are wings from ducks that he uses to practice his dogs with. My children and I would love to just live in a neighborhood and have other people to talk to and for the kids to play with. He says the kids only want to move because they have heard me say I want to move. He told me recently that if I really want to move to go ahead, without him. He will support me and the kids. He hopes to find a woman one day who "will like where I live." I have no say whatsoever and he doesn't even consider my opinion. He says "we can't afford to move" and this place is just the right distance from his job. Yet he asks me to take out a loan to add on to this house. He is willing to spend another $100,000 to add on to a house where no one else wants to live and says it is unfair for him to have to move just because we want to. Yet he will not take the same money (we have lots of equity) and just move us somewhere else. What would you do? Should I just stay here and make the best of it because this is where he wants to live? (I should add, if I want to buy anything to fix up the house, I have to pay for it, and if I have enough money to do that, he wonders why I am not responsible for more of the bills!)
you do the leaving
My ex was the same way. After 17-1/2 years, I did the leaving. I know it is hard, but YOU CAN DO IT!! You and your kids will be better off in the long run. My oldest child wishes I would have left when he and his brother were still little. Don't let him keep abusing you - you are just as valuable as he is - don't forget it. Hope your cold/flu doesn't last too long. Will be thinking of you.
Leaving an ovary or not?
I had one at 35 and kept my ovaries, although now I wish they'd have taken them. Within an hour after surgery, I was up and around and ready to go home and had NO pain afterwards (this was vaginal). I felt better than I had in years and I think every woman who is beyond wanting children should have one. It gives you such a freedom from all the "mess" and such.
Any regrets leaving the Q?
They're getting on my last nerve, but there are those that say that being an MT is pretty much the same everywhere. I hope not; I'm tired of having multiple different hospitals during each shift.
re: leaving pets
No I don't leave messages but we've done some camping this summer and my kitty gets very mad when we leave. When we walked in the door after being away for a few days she wouldn't stop meowing at me, like she was telling me off for leaving her..she wouldn't let me pick her up either! Anyone else's pets get mad when you leave?
If you are serious about leaving, you need a plan. SM
First, get some therapy for yourself to gain back some self confidence. Then make a plan. Find out how much a divorce attorney costs and start saving. If you are not being physically abused, try to stay in it as long as kids are young. Then make your escape.
Believe me, you are not the only one going through this. Are there any women's groups in your town you can join? You really need to vent. I know what that's like.
My DH is leaving in just a little bit for Atlanta
He is going on business for the weekend (we are in VA and have about 2in of snow now and more on the way) and he is taking my DD along for a little Father/daughter bonding. We have been following the weather and saw that it is in the 30s today and up to in the 50s tomorrow then back to 30s on Sat. with snow expected. My daughter is going crazy trying to decide what to pack. LOL
I don't regret leaving either...
Been gone since last August and couldn't ask for a better company to work for now. I owe MQ a lot as they did hire me right after I graduated my MT course and I did learn a lot while I was there, but having said that, I haven't looked back once since leaving.
If you are leaving for 3 weeks, take them to a kennel and sm
pay for daily care. They need more than food and water, they need attention and loving and daily petting, and exercise. Bless you for taking them on, but don't desert them now.
Rosie Leaving The View
Just watching The View. I know a lot of you wil be happy. Rosie just announced that she's leaving The View. I didn't catch exactly when she was leaving or why, but she did mention her children as a factor.
Leaving for New York tomorrow sm
with my family. Watch for us in the Today Show audience. I will be the one with the laptop so I won't fall behind in my work.  Just Kidding.
Running over a dog and leaving the scene?
Going on her merry way, shopping or whatever...?
Probably doesn't have animals; I agree.
She knew she was visiting and would be leaving (sm)
She just wanted to do a few things with her granddaughter before she left. If you had my in-laws you would understand invasive. You have to share your daughter. She is your child, but she is that woman's grandchild and she has rights too. She is sooo not asking too much. She sounds very humble and non-demanding. Try to be sweet to her. She won't live forever. Let her enjoy her granchild while she can.
sweats usually, unless I am not leaving the house and then PJs...
nm
I'm loving life since leaving MT.
.
"I'm leaving my wife." I bought it once...never again. NM
x
uhh...that should be "suggested leaving"...not counseling...nm
I'm leaving what little I have left in my 401K for now - sm
(what's left wouldn't do me any good, anyway), with the hope that someday it will gain back some of what it lost. THEN, even though I probably still won't have as much as was in it before, I'll most likely take it ALL out of the stock market forever, and invest in something concrete, such as land (which even if it can't be sold for a profit, can be lived-on). The stock market has become so volatile and flaky that it no longer makes any more sense to put your hard-earned retirement money into that than it does to blow it all on Lottery tickets or slot machines.
I heard just last week that she was leaving the show--sm
Why would she suddenly become a host if she could not work out an agreement with CBS? She said she would be back for various shows already set up, but that she was not going to be there day to day...did I miss something?
Party in SF as a send-off for friends leaving for Burning Man.
I'd love go myself, but can't afford it.....
I agree and leaving early not sore loser (sm)
I think that's just graceful, letting the winners have their day plus that had to really sting after the great season they had. But what a great game it was. Both teams should be proud they made it there.
I have been single again as long as I was married and there is not a day I don't regret leaving s
BUT it was still the right thing to do. I have been happier since and I am fine on my own, but it was extremely tough as he didn't pay child support and I could not find a way to make him (not for lack of trying though and a social worker whose job it was to collect his arrears kept telling me no, I didn't really need it!). Financially it was terrible, but the relief of his absence was enormous.
He was critical. He was always rude. My friends would only come to visit when he was on the road. The kids would pick up their messes, but he made more than they ever did, never helped and constantly criticized me for not being a perfect housekeeper like his mom...who didn't work, had a housekeeper and spent her days at the mall shopping. I had more kids than she did, worked always and ended up being too exhausted for him. He is a homophobic homosexual and going out on "mommy and daddy" dates was always humiliating because he spent the evening looking at other men's behinds.
I got out and suffice it to say, at quite a price financially and emotionally. I have not remarried, have only had one relationship in 15 years and feel too damaged to ever try again, but I am FREE from all of that.
My kids were pleased when he left and were all too anxious to help him to leave the house!
People leaving their McMansions and traveling West
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Spending a romantic weekend in Atlanta with hubby. Leaving at noon. Can't wait! nm
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Do you have really hard water? Maybe leaving water spots from lime, calcium, etc.? Or are the spots
s
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