Having been through a lot of bullying
Posted By: (sm) on 2009-03-11
In Reply to: toddler wants to shoot my family - Tab
of my son (7th grade now), this is really a tough one. On the one hand, I agree with some of the posters about going to the parents. There was a child who, close to the beginning of this school year, was bullying my son in the car-riders area while waiting to be picked up. We had already been through a lot of bully situations over the previous school year, and the school seems to basically do nothing about it, although they've got a statement about how they do not tolerate bullies (as well as the zero tolerance policy mentioned in another post). So, after my son had told me about this a couple of times, and I was reluctant to say anything to his teacher or an administrator myself because, well, we have been bullied by the school, I was two cars behind his father one day, and when my son got in the car and started talking about the situation again and told me which car he had just gotten into, I followed them home and spoke with the father about it. The boy was almost in tears, and I was very nice and nonconfrontational, but told him that I was not there and could not know what happened, and that I wasn't accusing him, but that is what my son told me and if it was true all I wanted was for it to stop. His father and I basically told the boys that they did not have to be friends, but they needed to respect one another. Had them shake hands, and haven't had a problem out of this kid since, which is something I cannot say about the kids I haven't met that continue to bully my son despite the school "taking care of" it. He has been spit on, hit in the head, "jumped" (as he puts it) in the restroom, tripped on purpose, etc. He has Asperger's syndrome, and he gets picked on all the time. He tells me that he feels like punching and hitting them, but he does not do it because he does not want to get in trouble.
On the other hand, not all parents may react the way the one I followed home did, not to mention that the child did not threaten to kill my son. I would want some documentation that this happened, and this is in large part because I have learned I have to document everything that happens in our situation. I have not done a good job of this in the past, but I started a journal that I am e-mailing to myself each day, so if nothing else I have verification that I said to myself what happened on what date. Hope I never need it, but you never know. Hopefully your situation is just a kids will be kids and kids say stuff all the time, but you really do never know these days. Good luck, Tab. I hate to hear how disturbed your daughter is, and hope that she will be okay (psychologically and physically).
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Bullying
Please, everyone keep a dialog going with your kids about not bullying, ask them if they are being bullied, or bullying anyone. My kids have been bullied, and have engaged in it on some level and we talk about how it hurts so many people, sometimes permanently. I have even been bullied by an employer as an adult. It was my first MT job and I was in my 20s. I was just learning a lot, so I asked for help a lot. I also stepped on my footpedal a lot because I was constantly listening and relistening. When my office had a party, the manager gave away gag gifts including a giant ear for the person who needed the most help, flip flops for the person who "stomped on the foot pedal", and some other "gifts" for annoying habits, well I won every gift, and even my coworkers looked sorry for me, it was just horrible.
Thanks.
bullying
I agree that this is an important issue, and we've had some trouble with it also. Unfortunately, right now it seems we are being bullied by the public school system. My child was not the one bullying and also is a special needs child, and his rights and disability are being ignored at best.
Sorry for what happened to you. Sounds like it was a while back, but it still sounds like it was very embarrassing for you and very unprofessional of your manager.
Bullying
If my child was the bully, I'd be shocked first, then dismayed. There'd be some really long conversations going on and punishment of some sort.
If my child was being bullied, I suppose it would depend on the extent of the bullying, and who was doing it and why, as to what my reaction would be.
Bullying
I taught my kids from a very early age that bullying anyone for any reason is totally unacceptable and would be severely punished if it came from them. I also taught them that when I was bullied so horribly all the way through school, I dealt with it with humor. I became quite adept at turning a bully's taunts into a joke at my own expense. It took them so off guard that it took all the fun out of it for them, and so moved onto someone else. It still did not stop me from going home every day to cry in my room by myself. I also taught my boys that if physically attacked, they were to use whatever defensive means it took to get away from the situation.
Bullying...your kids
How would you handle it if you were to find out it was your child who was the bully?
What if it was your child that was being bullied?
Sounds like they are bullying you
Need to take a stand about what you want if you hold the money bags. Let the husband get together the money if he wants her to join in so bad and leave at that. Tell them both what YOU are not going to do.
Call the cops every single time. Don't give into bullying.
You can bet he'll get tired of being visited by the cops every few days... And cops are required to follow up on complaints, so they'll go out there, and cops are adults with neighbors too, so they know what it's like. What is wrong with some of these parents now days?!
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