Have to agree that the biological parents are not always the best solution. But we were just discus
Posted By: nn on 2007-07-08
In Reply to: And I was involved with a CASA - Pat
MTs working at home with their children. I meant to imply that I certainly didn't think it was neglect or abuse for mom to have a set of headphones in her ears.
Sorry you had a bad experience with a CASA volunteer. But afterall they are all people too and the primary intent of the children's justice system is reunification with parents if possible. Sounds like they were probably just lacking enough evidence/proof to terminate parental rights at that time.
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I agree, I think as long as still living with parents
they should go by the house rules or go get their own place and their own bills. But, then I definitely do not think 1 a.m. is an unfair curfew. What the heck are they doing at that hour, anyway? :(
Agree. Tired of parents who think others are wrong,
x
The way I see it (and lived it) the biological parent
needs to step up to the plate and handle things. I'm sure of the woman who started this post had a husband that backed her up, she wouldn't be nearly as upset. I'VE LIVED/AM LIVING THROUGH THIS and my stepchild live with us 100% of the time (husband had custody). Sweet and first but things turned sour quickly. And guess what? My husband did very little in terms of taking care of his son, forcing him to be accountable for his behavior, etc. In turn, I ended up being the heavy and HATED for it (still am, and he's an adult now).
I was very young when I married my husband and didn't know what I was in for, just as the OP. You think, how can this sweet child be anything but good? You honestly have no idea what you're getting yourself into. Especially when other people will tell you that they CAN make step-families work. I think they work when/if the biological parent is firm with the child and sets the boundaries for that child, and the stepparent doesn't have to.
It's so difficult. I really feel for the orig poster.
the only thing is.. even if they aren't his biological children,
he still treated them as his own.. you don't always have to be blood kin to feel like its your own.... if they love those kids like their own, then why bother testing.. other than the mothers trying to get money, but I'm sure he would have left them money or something anyway..
Her mother is a piece of trash. So is that biological father.
nm
You'll have to get something with a biological odor eater in it. Fabreze is not
s
that. Biological has to be in the description. Wildly expensive, but works even
s
You need a biological odor killer. Found in better hardware stores. Have no
Names are something along those lines, but make sure it has the word biological in it. If you can wash the blanket, put some in the wash water. If it's not washable, then just spray it for a few days in a row while hung up. I got rid of smoke odor in a couch using this stuff. It really works! Fabreze and other name brand odor eaters are not enough to do a complete job. The stuff is pricey, but worth it. Gets rid of skunk, mold smells, vomit, all kinds of funk! You can probably search for these products on line and then see if your local hardware stores or cleaning supply places have them locally. Good luck! nm
Because my biological child is a high school science teacher who
NM
My solution
I had this happen many, many years ago and it affected our credit score, etc. I finally went on line and got the names of the Chairman of the Board, members of the board, etc. very high up personnel. I sent a registered, signature and receipt required to the chairman with copies to all the members of the board and needless to say I got immediate reaction. I also cc the local mortgage company with their names, etc. on it. Be sure to get a copy of your credit report to make sure that all the payments are being reported to being "on time" or that could also mess you up and you can sue for that. Tell them you will be seeking the advice of a lawyer if this happens again. You are right, if your credit report has been damaged, you have been damaged and can receive compensation. But somehow find the President, Chairman of the Board, etc. and write to them with a cc to this local office manager and the bafoo that you talked with. Good luck. It will take your time but it is well worth it.
Solution???
Find someone who wrote them a check and have them pull it up in their statement and you will see their bank on there on the back of their check.
My solution
Sleep less, bake more. Just bite the bullet and stay up some night and make the dough and then a day or two later cut them out and bake them. I had to do that for years and years, but I had a big incentive because all those doughs at the grocery store give me massive heartburn. Of course, I eat them anyway and the stay up all night anyhow because I did. So, see you could just make your own yummy dough and avoid heartburn. Don't you love how I have "organized" you all up? See if someone you know will double their batch and share dough with you if you can't afford to lose the sleep. I have done that for friends in the past. We all need to stick together in the baking department.
One solution
Maybe all those who are offended by MERRY CHRISTMAS should just stay out of the stores and shop via catalogs during the CHRISTMAS season. Or, the store could require them to receive and sign a disclaimer/waiver at the front door. Or, the stores could post warning signs; they post warning signs about other stuff. After all, is really should not be a HUGE SURPRISE to shoppers during the CHRISTMAS season that some folks may just want to say and hear, MERRY CHRISTMAS!! DUH. If it is true that Lowes' employees are fired if they actually use the word CHRISTMAS, I will be one of those that boycotts the store.
Unfortunately, these come off. Not 100% solution,
x
my solution...
i try to get the hubby to switch cars when i'm low so i never have to fill up. LOLOLOL
my solution
to hand the bills over to my husband. He doesn't like me saying "we don't have the money" so when I took a paycut to stay at home with kids (joint decision) and he couldn't get used to less money coming in, I handed him the checkbook and said "its your turn for a while." We have no extra money anyway so he can't mess things up that bad. I know he will pay the bills and all that. He just needs to see for himself that we have to cut back. It has taken about 9 months but now I crack a smile every time he tells me "we need to wait until we get paid again" or something of the like...he's finally realizing how expensive things are and that every couple dollars adds up.
i have a solution.
three would work. i have thought about this before. one would work days, one would work afternoons, one would work evenings. you could stay at hom. a living room with a tv and family room with a tv would probably be a good thing also. this way your schedule would not collide. you could get the fixing of the house stuff done, and probably have enough money to pay the bills.
My solution
This girl is evidently sick in the head. If she is going to college and all that she also knows full well what she is doing and planned this out a long time ago. This is what I think, ready...
1. The baby's and her previous children should not be made to suffer. Take care of them and let people adopt them who can give them a good home.
2. All money paid to this girl should be spent to pay off hospital bills and she should not receive one penny of it.
3. Whatever is not covered should then be sent as a bill to this wacked out person.
4. This wacko should be institutionalized. In my opinion (I say that cos I'm not qualified to say that with certainty), but in my opinion she has got some major mental problems.
5. She needs to be sued by the state. Here she is...no job, evidently going to school and she goes to BH and has this procedure done. Usually when parents are doing IVF they have planned out ahead of time whether or not they can afford it and the future baby(s). She knew she couldn't afford it and she had it done anyway...this is theft of public money, and if she was counting on welfare to foot the whole bill they should sue her.
6. Throw the doc in jail that performed the procedure and take away his license.
7. Sterilize the nut case.
Sorry if I sound harsh, but these are hard economic times and we're all listening to this whacked out lady that all she is interested in is money. She could care less about the children. Just a prop for her to receive more money that she does not deserve.
The health and welfare of these innocent children should be saved.
Oh yes, lastly sterilize her. When someone puts their own interest before their childs and knowingly has them as a way of her "making her millions" they do not deserve to have any more.
My solution...sm
You don't have to cook dinner for him and the mistress. If your husband wants to still hang with him, that's his prerogative, but you simply remove yourself from it. If he shows up at your house with her, find a reason to leave the house for a bit. If they invite you out, decline.
You don't have to give a reason to him, or her. You're not obligated to host him (and her). If your husband wants to...he can.
I understand him not wanting to upset the long work relationship, but you don't have that. It sounds like your husb will understand you not wanting to be a part of it.
Your solution is the better solution, put her into
this assisted living place you found for over $ 1,000.--a month.
Then your aunt has more freedom, you can visit her and I agree, living with relatives is always difficult and gives reaon for arguments.
my solution also
I didn't really plan on getting up at 4:00 a.m. to be able to leave by 5:00 but it seems like that is the best idea.
My solution to your stress
just BEAT HIM. LOL. J/K of course.
I would be upset too. Look for another company to go through. Unreal.
I know this is not a solution to your problem but
I couldn't help but respond to what you told your daughter about the police. Children should be taught that police are there to help them if they are ever in need and not be frightened by the thought of them. If you tell your child the police will take her away from you she will only think that police are bad. when I was younger I heard a mother tell her son that if he didn't start behaving that she would have "that police officer lock him up". I was terrified. My mother did help me through this and actucally took me to a police station and let me meet officers so I wouldn't be afraid. BTW, my son finally stopped his constant running at about age 3. Now if only I could get him to move a little faster, sigh, teenagers.
Simple solution
But of course, this what I would do - may not seem acceptable to you.
IF YOU STILL LOVE THIS MAN, you move as close by as possible into another type of home that you can afford to build/buy.
WHO SAYS you have to live under the same roof to be happily married? think outside the box!!
IF YOU FORCE him to move he will be as unhappy as you.
Use that equity you have to save your marriage - I'll bet he'd agree to this.
Then you can be together in TWO houses.
Well, I have a simple solution
My husband and I have been married 8 years now and guess what, never celebrated the first anniversary yet! No kids from this marriage and if we had, could have had 2, 3 or 4 years prior and years later they still would not know.
Have you tried this simple solution? sm
What about a DrinkWell fountain for pets? I have had them for, well, perhaps 15 years now. My cats (two of whom are Maine Coons and LOVE any kind of water source) all love it! It is not just a source of drinking water because they all play in it with their paws, so it has become a source of fun too, which is great because they are wanting to drink at the same time. There is something about the moving water that has always fascinated my cats. Give it a try! 
I haven't found a solution
At times, the burning in my foot is bad enough I cannot stand to wear shoes. I haven't really found any one thing that helps. I have found that as long as I'm busy, I don't think about the discomforts I'm having. I've tried changing my socks during the day either footies/knee highs. I've went for walks, helps to get my mind on other things. I don't know that Montel has a book, but I've seen him talk about his MS somewhere. Terri Garr is an actress that has it too, I believe she has a book.
I'm an unusual case. Required 3 neurologists conferring between them before making a decision. Presented with tingling in both feet, which went away after 2 months. Four months later had right arm and right leg incoordination, off balance. Prednisone relieved the symptoms 95% gone. I am left with right foot neuroathy and minor incoordination of the right arm/hand. F/U MRI showed more lesions in brain and spine. I'm unusual because I've not had optic neuritis, my spinal tap was normal, visual evoke and brainstem tests were normal.
cold hands solution
I found the best solution for when your hands get too cold to type. I filled an old tube sock with rice. Pop it into the microwave for 4 minutes or so. Put the hot sock in my sweatshirt pocket. I can stick my hands in for a quick warm up most of the afternoon. It also keeps the rest of me pretty toasty. ( it is only -3 degrees here!)
Just thought I'd share my idea. Happy Friday.
A recently used solution against this group
was applied by Hells Angels. No joke.
The Hells Angels motorcycle group was nearby where a protest was being held and they showed up! Ran off every single one of the Westboro derelicts.
First time I've ever been in favor of Hells Angels.
You do know about the recall on wetting solution
that is causing blindness for contact wearers? I do not know the name of it but can probably google. By the way, I have heard using honey can alleviate allergies. I just heard that now, but worth a try if I had them.
Maine Solution to Insomnia
Shot of Allen's Coffee Flavored Brandy, AKA fat a$$ in a glass.
So you're saying there IS a problem & the solution
come up with solutions? I'm sorry, but that doesn't make sense. You also sound a bit racist and seem to have something against the poor. Maybe you should work on that. Geez.
One solution when she gets to calling, unplug your phone - sm
for 15 minutes or whatever. I used to have to do that for some crank who would call me every night (a guy I would not go out with) for months. I did it for about 6 months, when I finally pluged it back in at night he had given up by then, yeah. How about call block on her number, sure it would make her a bit angry but maybe she would get the message to leave you alone during the day.
Kim Komando's Solution for thowing out stuff
I thought this might be of interest to some...Rather than throw away junk, try this.
www.kimkomando.com
www.freecycle.org
Frustrated by Google map route? Solution
I was just playing around with a route that Google map gave for a particular To and From location, and was frustrated (as usual!) with the illogical-appearing route it chose. I never knew you could click on the map and have the option of Change Route appear, but you can! You just drag the mouse to the route you'd like, and it will reconfigure the way you want to see. NATURALLY the route you chose really does turn out to be shorter in distance and time. Problem solved!
I still love giving gifts and have a solution with my family. sm
We all buy gifts for our parents (there are 4 of us, all married) but we wrap them all in the same paper and they are from everyone. That way, if someone is having a tough year, then it still looks even. Over the years, all of us have had a year that extra money just was not there during 1st babies, 1st homes, high gas prices, unexpected bills, lay-offs, new jobs etc. This way, our parents don't know who did what and they can't turn them down or worry about one family when they don't want to share with them their troubles.
We treat the kids similarly. We all buy for all the kids (7 total) but no set limit. Some years, when having a good financial year, they get big presents, some years they don't. They all get to open at least 5 presents (counting Grandma and Grandpa) and we torture them until after dinner before they can open gifts! There have been years of Dollar Store gifts and years of video games. We all look for things during the year that we can give to all equally. Last year, I found pajama bottoms at Old Navy for $2 in the summer and bought a pair for everyone, including the adults. One year, my sister got them all Uno decks which were $3 each because that's all she could do and they are still the favorite gift and go everywhere. Uno tournaments, using all the cards are a family tradition and we make up different rules all the time!
I am fortunate to be in a good position the last few yeas and have bought more extravagant presents. Not to show anyone up, but because I can. Not to make up for the very lean years, which were many, but because it is easy for me to do right now. We don't have jealousy and I don't expect anything in return because if I need something or want something, I usually buy it for myself. I just like to give gifts and can, and everyone is fine with that.
But I have to tell you, my best gifts from the others are from years when there was no money and have now become tradition ... strawberry jam from my SIL, fudge from my brother.
Christmas is what you make it. We are loud and loving and crazy and if we exchanged soup cans, the kids would still love it. It is what you make of it and how fun you make it for them.
What an awesome post! I agree, agree, agree completely with you.
 You are right on the money in my book! 
Yes, my dad's parents
My dad died when I was 18. I love my daddy, and I love my pop (step-dad). It is so sad that my children never got to meet their grandpa, but they do also have a grandpa (my pop) that loves them with all his heart. I also have a brother, who was named after my dad, and felt it only right that if anyone uses my dad's name it be his choice, not mine. Does that make sense? Thanks for your input!!!
My parents did it,
and they would say DON'T get Sears to do it. They did a horrible job.
My parents have several sm
and are very happy. I don't know how my dad went about aquiring them (he does have his real estate license)so that is probably a plus even though that is not his regular job. My parents are able to spend 3 weeks straight in Florida each year due to time shares. Two weeks at one place and one week at another. He also will swap time shares with others so they don't always have to go to the same places every year. My husband and I looked into one at Hilton Head and it just didn't seem like a very good deal to us. I didn't talk to my father first, but felt sure he would have advised against this one. This is just from my experience. I have heard horror stories from others. Good Luck.
What about your parents
Treat them as if they were your parents. Most of the time when I was married and we went to my in-laws, we knocked but then walked in especially if it was through the garage. I did the same at my parents, went through the sliding glass door. They did the same at our house. To me is is a minor thing and I did not care, thought it was great that they liked me and felt welcome enough to come on over and drop by. If they ended up seeing something they shouldn't then perhaps next time they would have called. Or if someone was there that they did not plan on seeing whatever. Sometimes we had the best last minute pot luck and card games that way. But that is me.
My parents are the same way. They don't like to
"invite" themselves along to the in-laws' houses on holidays, and won't even accept direct invitations from the in-laws because they think I pressured the invitation. My in-laws (and I) always figure "the more, the merrier!" When I host here, I invite all of my in-laws' extended families, but they don't want to come either. So we all wind up doing the two dinner thing and trying to schedule around EVERYONE. It's annoying. I'd rather rent a big hall and have EVERYONE show up for potluck. But nobody wants to leave their houses. Always some excuse, like young kids, but they didn't mind making me haul my young kids all over the state. And I'm the one in the family with the most kids. I say go anyway to the in-laws. Your parents can stay at your house alone for the evening, or they can come with you. It's their choice, but your plans are already made.
27 and 31 here, in the NE. Many other parents we
s
it's not just the parents...
kids today have different issues to face than kids did even up to the 50s and 60s. Most kids are watching MTV before they are out of diapers. It's just easier to put something electronic in a kid's hand than have to act like a parent. Kids are having kids at earlier ages than ever. A few years ago I lived in south Philly and watched a girl about 12 yo with a baby talking to a young boy on a bicycle. She told him she wanted money for the baby and he told her his mom didn't give him any lunch money that week, so he didn't have anything to give her.
My situation has been different because of the abandonment issues my GD has had to adjust to... but get this. One reason I can not spank her is because she came to me with some violent behavior from her parents. Her mom would let her run across the room (to the mom), jump on her and wrestle until she was so over stimulated the baby would bite mom on the face...and mom just laughed. I could not spank her for biting me...one violent action did not change the first. I have had to learn many new techniques since I raised my kids...obviously spaking did not work on them! I was very firm with them and used spanking as a last resort, but I can't do that with this child. She has to trust me and spankings do not build trust. We have a great relationship now, but I constantly have to reinforce changing her behavior from what she had when she came to me, along with just asserting her own indpendence as she grows older, with my words and deeds, not with violence.
My parents used to do this...
I can remember begging my mom for the list of names and numbers and she'd never give in. Drove us 4 kids up the wall! But thinking back, it was fun! Merry Christmas y'all!!!
Where are the parents???
I don't put the blame totally on Brittany (most of it I do, but not all of it). Her parents should be hauled down with her. Where in the world were they when this all was beginning. If it was me my mom and dad would be right there beside me saying what in the world is going on and they would get me the counseling I needed (and not allow me to leave when I wanted to). I don't care if she is a "pop" star or not. If more of the parents of these "stars" would act like parents you would think their children would behave more rationally. I look at Brittany and lots of her friends and they really are still children. I have a brother-in-law who is 48 and acts like he's 16 and needs to be kept in line by his mom. Maybe the parents are too worried that their famous kids will stop giving them money....who knows. Maybe not, but it looks like it to me.
parents
I had a daughter in a similar situation. Her school had a tutoring program after schools with actual teachers and that really helped her a lot. She actually was doing okay in the class, but just didn't feel confident. The teachers made her feel more sure of herself and that seemed to make all the difference. I'd talk with the physics teacher or counselor to see if they can work with her before she drops the class.
Parents what would you do?
I'm looking for some advice. My daughter just started the 9th grade. She's been in accellerated/Honors classes for a few years and she has always maintained a 98+ average. This year she's taking Physics, a 12th grade class. She's only been back to school for less than two weeks and she's so stressed out. She wants to drop out of the class already. I told her to give it to the first semester which will be over in ten weeks to see how it goes. My husband feels that she has to take it eventually so she should say in the class. She's afraid that this course is going to ruin her grade point average that she's very proud of. I think she should talk to the teacher and her counselor to see what advice they have. Her teacher is one that gives the work and says do it without really teaching them how to do anything. I'm so illiterate when it comes to science I'm no help at all. My husband took physics years ago and he tried to work with her last night, but I'm not sure how much he remembers himself. What would you do if your child was in the same predicament?
parents
careful, your face will freeze that way. go to your room and wait. killer was "I never thought I could be so disappointed in you. I thought we raised you better than that".
parents
how could I forget this one? Can't never accomplished anything.
never make fun of what someone does for a living as long as it is an honest job.
parents
My parents helped very little - they were very loving, but very poor. I worked, had no car, ate very simple cheap foods - that is the only way I could have done it. . I could not help my daughter much either - she got scholarships, took out loans and worked - full time one year while attending college full-time. . If parents can help, I think they should. . I think this mom is willing to help, just not change her entire life, which she should not have to.
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