Has anyone filed bankruptcy separate from their spouse?
Posted By: sm on 2007-04-24
In Reply to:
My husband and I have all bills and checking accounts separate except for the cars and we split the household bills. I have a ton of credit card debt and with MT pay being less all the time, was thinking this may be the only way out. I know the spouse doesn't have to file if their name isn't on the account, but is this very hard to do? Thanks for any info.
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I filed separate from my spouse at the time--sm
against an old (over 10 years) student loan that I had. That was the only thing I filed against and it was way before my spouse and I had even married. Even though I filed in my name only, it affected his credit too, just because we were married. It continued to affect his credit even after we divorced 10 years later. Better think twice. It is not always a good idea to file bankruptcy as a way out of debt. Cut up those cards and start paying cash for things you want/need. The interest on most of those cards will keep you in debt forever. Been there! but not any more! good luck to you!
What is sadder is the grandparents live in a small home, 3 bedroom, and filed bankruptcy 2 years ago
nm
What a blow. I have filed BK before, but sm
I never had any money in the bank they could freeze. BK puts a stop to just about everything people are trying to get from you. Mortgages, rentals, all of that. It stops. Call your bank and keep asking if they have the case number, or make your attorney do it. The minute they get the BK case number, they should unfreeze your funds. It doesn't have to take a week, if someone is on top of it. If your attorney has a case number now, call then bank and give it to them.
My husband filed
but I don't believe we had any bills in both our names, so he just claimed everything that was in his name... I don't remember how they did the regular household bill portion, except we had to fill out a monthly budget form... it has been several years ago now, I don't really remember much more about it. Sorry.
Years ago I took bankruptcy and then
after that time only paid cash for things. Years down the road when I wanted to buy something on credit, had an absolutely clean record, no bads, no goods, almost like first starting out. Since the early 70s I have repaired my credit to the point I could buy about anything I want to today but-I would much rather pay out of pocket than to owe and owe probably overall less than $10,000, just hate to go in debt. Have some property I am selling soon so that amount will be paid off leaving me with a clean slate. You can get yourself out of debt, you can take bankruptcy and still come back, your credit can be horrible and you can recoup. It takes time to do this but it is so important now with so many people checking your credit just to see if you are a good risk. Recently put about $10,000 in a CD in a new bank and they checked my credit just to open that acct! I know they are checking credit reports now for housing and jobs so best to try to improve a bad one.
Saw your post and you can come out of bankruptcy
smelling like a rose. I declared many years ago, and I have the best possible credit now ever. I do not care for credit, turn it down most of times when offered, have 1 credit card, paid off my other, well actually have a Home Shopping acct, forgot about that but really I keep my credit under control. I just had really big renovation done at my home and paid up front for all that. I just HATE to owe like in years past. I have 2 children, 1 is a real dead-beat when it comes to finances and the other probably has credit as good if not better than mine. Go figure! Credit is being responsible and working hard enough to pay for it once you have it and not be slack about it. I learned lessons from years ago, worked really hard and now have bills under control instead of people calling dunning me for money I owe.
Bankruptcy in FL - any info?....sm
I divorced about a yr and a half ago and have been slowly drowning since. It's been recommended that I look into filing bankruptcy and since I just had a car repo'd, I'm leaning that way. The problem is, there are no bankruptcy attorneys in my area and the closest bankruptcy court is 3-1/2 hours away so I don't know where to begin. Do I need an attny or do I try one of those online services that prepares the paperwork for you? How hard is it/how bad?
If anyone has filed under the new laws (after 2005) and has any info/advice, I'd really appreciate it. I'm a wreck and any information would be a great help. 
I worked in bankruptcy law for several years... sm
Let me preface this by saying this is NOT LEGAL ADVICE. It is simply information I have gleaned by working for collection law firms over th years. The lawyers I worked for advised me personally to always put "PAID IN FULL" on any check you send to pay something off. When a creditor gives you a payoff amount, it is THEIR responsibility to get it correct; if they don't, the "PAID IN FULL" is a legal agreement that they accepted that as full payment. It saved me a lot of heartache over the years.
Now, don't try this on your mortgage or if you owe a substantial balance; that it not what we are talking about. That is fraud if you do it, and it will not work.
It never hurts to use those little "note" lines on your checks to record your honest intentions. Then, you have grounds to fight back when they try to charge something unfairly, i.e., finance charges after the fact. Food for thought.
It is called Bankruptcy Protection for this reason
I'd make a personal appearance at the bank with a letter from your attorney if the money is desperately needed.
Gosh, darn he filed the plate down,
not the sores.
Got mine 5/16. Filed first part of February.
x
My cat solved my un-filed paperwork problem - sm
... she PEED on them, and I had to throw them all away!
AAAaaaaaggghhhhh !!!!!!
It gets worse - the family declared bankruptcy and let their sm
house go not too long ago. GF is confirmed to be "native Iraqi". What a mess.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/01/30/earlyshow/health/main4764432.shtml
File for bankruptcy protection if you have equity in your home
dd
We got our check last week. We electronically filed our taxes
and check was a direct deposit. This will help us with our home improvements.
That's why there are separate bedrooms - sm
quite a lifesaver in my book, even with that though I can hear him through the wall sometimes. I don't think he has sleep apnea, always associate that with being overweight (he is not at 5 feet 11 inches, 163 pounds); so I presume deviated septum. Of course he won't get it checked out. Unless it was a condition of work he just will not go to a doctor, hopefully I will not become a widow because of his stubborness and fear.
I don't see why you would have to open a separate--sm
account just to deposit that check. Once the bank cashes the check, you get the money. If there are not sufficient funds, that will go against HIM, not YOU. He will have to pay the extra fees, etc. to have the check clear. You get your money, either way. They cannot take it away from you if there is not enough money in HIS account.
Yes, you need 2 separate gifts - sm
I have not been to one of these in so long I do not remember. I generally went with something more personal with a bridal shower gift but we are talking about best friends, and then something for the 2 of them with a wedding gift. You can always give money for both though. Surprised though they are doing a shower, they should have everything they both need by this time in their life. Maybe some nice kitchen towels or knives or something of that nature if you do not want to go personal; for the wedding gift maybe a gift certificate to a local restuarant (something useful you know they will use). If you do not attend though, you do not have to send a gift though a card would be the nice thing to do.
They are 2 separate boards.
You'll find the Christianity board listed right about in the middle of the list of boards to the left. See Gab Board, then Conservatives, then Liberals, then Christianity.
I separate mine from his - see why
My husband is completely financially irresponsible and has no idea how to budget.
After spending two years trying to sort out his last horrible mess, his is his and mine is mine now and will be forever more.
Could be a reason why they separate theirs too.
Same here. We have separate accounts and
he has his bills and I have mine. I do know what he makes though and our accounts are linked to the same access so I can at least see what he spends and vice versa.
Ex-spouse
They are divorced. Get independent and stay independent of him unless she really loves torture.
Maybe Joe's spouse does not like the sm
idea either. It would of been nice if he said lets hang out with Joe's family to see if it everyone was compatible.
Do any of you have a spouse
who can't say no to other people? How do you work it out? Are you just stuck always being the "bad guy?"
Unfortunately, the entire United States is having a difficult financial time. It is obviously not just our household. We have cut back everywhere we can, and I mean everywhere. Our families are having difficult problems as well. We also have an ex-spouse and have had unexpected increases in child support, etc. recently along with unexpected additional expenses where this is concerned. Basically, the child "needs" new glasses, etc. even though the child really doesn't but according to the court we have to pay accordingly. It just seems like it is one thing after another and I know it is for everyone, although the circumstances may be slightly different.
My problem is that I have been telling my husband for months that this was coming, along with Christmas, birthday, etc. He hasn't wanted to accept it. Although we have cut back on many things, on my initiative, it just has not sunk in for him until now...when everything finalized and we dont' know how we are going to pay all of our bills. To top this off, he can't seem to say no to having his nephews stay the weekend, talking to his family about NOT exchanging gifts, etc. I'm the "bad guy" because he is ok with all of it although he admits he has no idea where the money is going to come from. I have been upfront with my family and when people ask me but is it too much to ask that he do the same? I dont' know if it is a man thing, hurting his pride or what but he is so depressed and upset about our financial state, yet can't say no even to the smallest thing. But of course he wants to constantly remind me (the cheap skate and tight-a$$) to cut back on groceries, etc. which I cannot possibly do any more than I have already. We have nothing left in savings. We have no Christmas fund.
I'm just frustrated this morning and don't know where to go from here. I don't want to say "I told you so" but I did tell him and he had no concerns until now...when we are seemingly headed towards financial trouble. I have been working OT but his OT has been cut indefinitely from his employer. I'll be darned if I'm getting a second job so he doesn't have to cut back. I must say he doesn't buy things for himself..its just the piddling away of $20 here and $20 there on top of our already mounting unexpected expenses.
Yes, and we have separate bank accounts ;)
x
take dog home with you; put cat in separate room for now.
nm
Going on 10 years, separate monies and
we have absolutely no problem with things. We half up big money items such as house taxes, vehicle insurance, the big bills but then he pays for the home, his truck, my BMW he bought me. I pay the smaller bills such as utilies because I have the smaller amount made. Works great for us. No problems ever.
can you separate the flavor from salt?
no, no more than you can separate the Christianity from the Christian. why should he have to HIDE his Bible in a drawer -- because the mere sight of it offends you non-believers? now THAT is silly. and calling the word of God propaganda is very offensive. Ah, but no so much to me as to HIM. and you will one day be before that 'big guy in the sky' and wishing you hadn't been so foolish.
Some married people have separate accts just like
my husband and I. I don’t know what he has, what he makes each week- the only time we know really is when we do our taxes. He and I have our own banking accts but we are signed on just in case the need arises. It might work for her- does for me.
if a spouse cheats...
I'm watching this little polling on Today show (just eating breakfast, i never watch this stuff!) and it says 63% of people would try to save their marriage if their spouse cheated and 73% of the reason was for companionship.
Personally.... I am not sure I have the capabilty of getting over something like that. I think forgiveness is a huge part of life and relationships... but maybe it's insecurity, maybe it's about pride... but I'm not sure I could work through something like that!! I just don't know what could possibly be an excuse! The ladies on are saying, it usually signifies something that needs to be worked on in a relationship, well OBVIOUSLY! And I am not one of those people that thinks if you cheat you dont love the person... but I certainly think it would be really hard to work through or accept, and knowing myself I'm not thinking I could get over it, so I guess I'd be in the percentage of NOT ever wanting to know...
I dunno, I do think it's human nature to be attracted to many different people (i am myself)... but is it human nature to want to physically be with other people? I guess cheating can be emotional as well...
just random thoughts before I get to work!
Have a great day
if a spouse cheats
I have to tell you from the other side of the coin that sometimes people grow apart for one reason or another and things happen. Most people do not cheat because they are looking for something physical. They are missing an emotional connection and find it elsewhere. On the other side of this is that sometimes, not always but sometimes, when the other spouse finds out and realizes why it happened they can work through it together to get back what was missing and what brought them together in the 1st place. I speak from the know on both sides and can tell you that you can get past it and actually end up in a much better place than you ever were before. .
Unemployed Spouse
Is it possible he might be doing something behind your back and acusing you to justify something he has done.
Have your spouse cut your hair
Guys, if you keep your hair short, buy hair clippers with a set of clips and hand over the clippers to your spouse. You may have a couple of cuts that result in a buzzed head, but unless she’s got horribly unsteady nerves, she’ll figure it out.
Dear Spouse:
Please find a girlfriend. I'm sick and tired of taking your crap.
Hugs,
JMHO
Cheating Spouse?
Have you ever caught your spouse cheating? If so, how did you catch him/her?
cheating spouse
I worked day shift and he worked 3-11 so for a few years we would hardly see each other at all. First, let me say that my husband is kind of messy. I would notice that when I came home from work, my home was in the same order that I left it in the morning. Even the curtains had not been opened yet. There were no dirty dishes. There was no sign anybody had been home all day. I would ask and he would always have an excuse..went to play golf before work, went to a ball game, had lunch with the guys, etc.
Then a woman started calling the house in the evening asking for my husband. I would say he was at work, ask if I could take a message and she would say no and hang up. She would call about 3 to 4 evenings a week. I asked my husband who she was and he would say he didn't know.
Then, HER husband called and left a message on our machine one day while we were out. He didn't say any names, just said stay away from my wife or I'm going to come over and beat your a$$. I asked who was that and my husband said he didn't know.
This all happened over about 4 months when he was offered a transfer with work out of state and we took it. He never admitted having an affair but I know he did. That was 16 years ago. We are still together and before everyone flames me, I will tell you that the man has paid dearly for that little fling. We've never discussed it because how can you discuss something he won't admit to? He didn't leave the house for years without taking 1 or all the kids with him, even to the grocery store or the post office. He never got to do anything he wanted to do, no more boys night out, no more golf weekends, etc. It got to the point where I was feeling sorry for him but he never said a word.
Now that we're in our 50s, I wish someone would take him so he'd leave me alone!
Being a military spouse, I think that...
she should qualify for unemployment, but not indefinitely. She paid in to California unemployment insurance and had to relocate because her spouse is serving our country. She should, in my opinion, be able to draw on unemployment from California for a reasonable period of time until she can get another job. However, that is one of the reasons I like this job. I take it with me whenever I move.
Separate bathrooms would definitely be great, or 1 huge one. Nix to the double
s
Child support is a separate issue from visitation. nm
x
I'd be totally ticked! Time for a compromise or separate
s
Feed in separate rooms, leave in with food for 1/2hr.
x
Keeping that part of my life separate sounds best -
I have been asked on dates but just have not been interested. I feel stuck just wishing we could all be a normal family again (the 4 of us). I even think ahead to when I'm a grandma down the road and still can't picture me with a new man! I don't know, maybe I'm just destined to remain alone unless I met the guy who was a perfect fit with my kids.
I see lots of posts from marrieds with separate accounts.
Are my husband and I the last of the money-poolers? We have no separate accounts, and we don't keep track of who paid in more or less to anything. He makes more than I do, but it all goes into the family pot. I do have it easy at tax time, though. Hubby is a CPA. I haven't prepared a tax return since 1983. Haven't balanced the checkbook, either. I just peak over his shoulder. He's self-employed, which is no cake-walk. We pay estimated taxes quarterly and we NEVER get a refund. Even when DH was an employee, we never got refunds. It's a CPA thing. He has a long speech about not wanting to give money to the government interest-free. I don't care. He handles it, and that makes me happy.
Ex-spouse on health insurance?
My daughter just told me about a proposal her ex has suggested. He is close to a thousand dollars in arrears for back child support. Now he wants to negotiate a deal where my daughter will accept about half of what he owes in exchange for his adding her to his job health insurance. She is self-employed and has not had health insurance coverage since their divorce.
I don't think he can do that, can he? Since he has lied about so many things I don't think she will do that unless he can prove she can be covered. Even if he could add her, what would keep him from dropping her for spite if there are problems down the road? Any thoughts? Thank you.
Marriage may be a vow, but if OPs spouse was unfaithful then she has
y
Here is why you DO NOT take an abuse spouse like this to counseling sm
BTDT a couple of times. He manipulated the whole thing to his "issues" with me.
He told counselor: She makes me angry. Counselor looks at me: Why do you feel the need to make him angry?
He told the counselor: I don't like her looks. Counselor asks me: I have you considered getting some help with your weight and looks (umm 140 at 5Ə"??? Where was the problem?)
He told the counselor: She makes this marriage about the kids instead of making it about me...I make all the money...I do all the work (never housework)...and she sits on the couch and eats bonbons all day (what is a bonbon?). THIS MARRIAGE NEEDS TO BE ABOUT ME and what I want, NOT about the kids. Counselor: Why do love your kids so much and why can't you put him first?
LOUSY counselor. I went to another one on my own who said: You may not have bruises, but you are being abused. I know the situation you are in and he forbids you to work and it isn't like you actually have the time. It may take you some time to choose to get out. So, lets focus on ways for you to be stronger until you can walk out the door. HE didn't get any better HE got worse as I started to develop a backbone.
So to all those who say go to counseling, stay in it, learn to be stronger, don't let his words hurt you...YOU ARE FULL OF IT. You all may like being treated the way that DONE is, but I don't. I am a person too, as is DONE. Anyone I might ever be with needs to think I am so wonderful, special, lovely, kind... you name it, they could not stand NOT to be with me. DONE'S husband is telling her, essentially...you okay I guess, but not that great. Plus which, you can't do anything the way I think it should be done. You don't have feelings because you are average looking and this marriage is all about me. Toro poo poo.
Some of you are not very bright, I am sorry to say, but there it is.
Cheating spouse/boyfriend, etc.
Many years ago I was married to a cheating spouse. I was pregnant with our second child when he took it upon himself to cheat with an underage girl in the back of our brand new station wagon. Well, I learned about this when a paternity suit came up with his name on it. Apparently he was so dumb that he did not know the girl had a boyfriend and being the sucker that he was he did not know that they would pin the paternity on him, and get money from him. Too bad it wasn't in this day and time because he would have been in jail because she was only 17, and he was in his 30s. This was only 1 in a string of women that I found out after the fact, and even contracted an STD when I was pregnant!! I also suffered spousal abuse, and have the scars to prove it. After 5 years of this I got out,and the only reason I stayed was for the children, but that was a huge mistake on my part. Now, whenever, I hear or see this on a program it makes me furious that these men think this behavior is okay. It is never okay and leaves many people, including children, to suffer much heartache.
Likening a spouse to a dog or horse...
imagine if a male doc suggested treating a wife like that; the outrage would be heard round the world. Maybe acting like adults and having a conversation like a married couple would help. How demeaning to treat a husband that way. Where do you women find these men that you have to "train"? Gesh, I always thought my DH was fabulous...now I am CERTAIN he is!
No muss, no fuss, no spouse -
.
Do you yell at your kids/spouse?
I grew up in a family of non-yellers. Even when he was drunk, my dad didn't yell. I've raised my voice to DH twice in our entire 34 years together, and one of those times was excused because I was pregnant, hot and miserable. I've never raised my voice to my kids.
Several of my friends are big-time yellers. It makes me cringe when I hear it. I guess cause I'm not used to it.
Thank you! From a Mom who had 2 daughters, serving 3 separate tours in Iraq - twice over Christmas.
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