Had a friend whose husband died
Posted By: Willodean on 2007-05-03
In Reply to: You collect widow's benefit's at age 50, not 60, unless you have a child - dottie
and she had grown children but I know she was not able to collect his social security at 50 - she had to wait til at least 60 before collecting on his. She had never really worked at job where she could make her own living and she was in a mess, had to take sales position in a dress shop and nearly went under waiting.
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My plants died when husband still alive but after he died
surprisingly I grew lots of plants and still have them. My housekeeper says he was the devil and that is why the plants died. I was just as bad as you back then, killed artificial plants.
a friend's b/friend died last year, drank, took vicodin...
But some of it He does allow to happen - my friend died (sm)
of lymphoma and left behind her six month old baby. She never had a single normal day with her child as she got sick during her pregnancy. Many of us prayed so hard. Maybe it was God's will for her to die, I don't know, and I know that we don't understand everything he allows. But he DOES ALLOW things. Her illness had nothing to do with people being evil. I am a Christian, as in I believe in God and Jesus, but I don't pretend to understand everything, because I really, really do not understand.
My experience when my husband died last year
My husband died suddenly last year. I was devastated and not thinking really clear, but my family was very supportive and the funeral director was very helpful. My husband wanted to be cremated. The biggest single expense is the casket and when cremating, it gets burned with you. If you're being cremated, they now "rent" you a casket for the viewing. It's totally sanitary. There is a removable liner that is put in and the usual silk/taffetta liner is put over that. It's no different other than buying a casket, other than you don't pay the high price and no one knows the difference. It was a beautiful, very expensive wood casket. We had a very nice viewing and service with all the amenities, prayer cards, notices, music, flowers, etc. The total cost was around 4000.00. I have his ashes, they are going to be spread this summer in a place he had always said he wanted them to be. I wasn't trying to do it as cheap as possible, but it was nice to not have to spend a small fortune.
Niece died with sleep apnea, husband has
I know how dangerous- the niece was 39. Hubs also wears the mask every single night. He and I both know well about this. He has a brother who absolutely needs, had wreck driving in the daytime, somnolent but cannot tell some people.
Husband died in May, I married one of his best friends that December
Thus my name-----
My husband's best friend is
They've known each other since they were 7 and he's definitely the most trusted person and vice versa. I trust him too, actually.
they don't hang out all the time though. They're in different states.
Having had several friends who turned out to be "fair weather", I don't trust anybody that much. (Of my friends.)
My husband is my best friend.
Everyone else is wonderful, and I love them, but I prefer to rely on my sweetheart for tried and true companionship, and everyone else for fun times through shared interests.
Husband asked my friend to sew something for him (sm)
He is very old fashioned and feels that all women should know how to sew. I don't know how, but of course can patch holes and replace buttons. So last night she told me she had something to give my husband for Christmas - a hunting vest he asked her to sew a bullet holder on for him. He often takes things to his mother and grandmother to sew but now even to my friend? I told her she should have just told him no but she said, No, I love doing things like that. About a week ago he had taken my sewing machine out of the attic and was going to give it away. I told him he couldn't give it away, it was a gift from my aunt and uncle. He said I never use it so why shouldn't HE give it away. I told him it wasn't his. Anyway, I'm just really aggravated right now.
My best friend was MURDERED by her husband, sm
and someone I worked with was shot in the head by her significant other. You must take his threat 100% seriously. Please, please call the police and have him committed. He is now officially a danger to self AND OTHERS. Take action now and do not depend on the situation to "work its way out." I implore you to take action while you can.
You had every right to be upset. Your husband should have told his friend
and then would get back to him. Now, if you don't feel comfortable going on a long trip with your small children and their practically grown children, tell your husband you don't want to go and that since it's your money your earning as well that you want to have some say in planning a vacation and that it should be done together as a couple, even as a family, and not just by one person.
A friend of mine has a husband with myasthenia gravis
and it affects his eyelids. He can't hold them open and had special glasses made witih a wire that he puts under both eyelids for support. I hope it's not that, and certainly may be something else, but I think an ophthalmology exam is in order and then maybe referral to a neurologist. Good luck. Keep us posted.
Married good friend of my deceased husband
I knew him for over 30 years and yet didn't know him. He is very quiet, reserved, shy and when husband died called after 12 days to invite me to the zoo- I had no idea he had ever seen me to tell the truth. Bottom line months later he told me had loved me since the first day he saw me and "just waited."
Have a friend who used her husband's sticker. He really was disabled and stayed at home (sm)
so therefore she gladly took over use of his tags for her purposes. When he died she was aggravated when they wouldn't renew them a year or so after his death. Guess she thought they were survivor's benefits.
My now deceased husband brought his friend home, now my hubby
Was it love at first sight? Not for me but years later after the death of the previous one, my now husband (he never married, no kids) told me he had loved me from the very first day he saw me. I did not even know he saw me. We are talking 30 more years and the weight, well I will just leave at the 30+ years.
She died.
The vet looked through the records for these cats and they were apparently 4 weeks old when we go them, which made Little One about 12 weeks old. She still fit in the palm of my hand and weighed a pound. There must have been something genetically wrong with all of them. :(
Oh, that's why he died sm
I haven't been keeping up on the backstage stuff and wondered why he had to die. I really like the show. It kind of reminds me of Stephen King's The Stand, which is an all-time favorite of mine.
I say died. Died is died.
nm
My dog died while I was away....sm
I was at the beach this week and he'd been going back quickly, but you always think there's going to be more time. I knew he wouldn't see the end of summer, but I thought he'd be here when I got home today. I've been carrying his collar around in my pocket since my husband gave it to me when I got home.
They are now saying he has died. :( nm
nm
I also prefer died
tells it like it is. Expired just sounds dumb. I have not heard these in medical records but here are a few terms for disabled people I hate (I am disabled): Differently abled, physically challenged and - (gag) - handicapable. Who came up with these? Admittedly, crippled does not sound right anymore and handicapped sounds passe but just plain disabled will do.
My g'mother died in the 70s at the age of 75.
NM
It was very sad when my grandmother died
but she had lived a long good life. It was not a big party by any means, but we were looking at it from the side of she is now in heaven, she is with her husband, and she is no longer suffering any pain. I know there is always sadness and more for some than others. I knew what I wrote was going to be misunderstood. BTW, I am caucasian.
Bernie Mac died
It was sad to hear Bernie Mac had died. He was such a funny and talented comedian. I loved him in Transformers and Guess Who and heard his comedy stand up routines several times. He really made us laugh.
Unfortunately this is untrue - he has died
Don't know what news you were listening to but they were misinformed. Bernie Mac has passed away from complications of pneumonia. I wish it weren't true. He was very funny and from what I've read a very decent and humble and wonderful person in his private life. Will miss his good humor. I did love his routine about his sister's kids among others.
My father died when I was 21.
He was sick most of his life ... or at least during most of my life. He was a very sweet, gentle man, but he was always in pain and ill. As it happens, my family was just devastated in 1983. A dear uncle died of lung cancer that April. In May, my paternal grandmother with whom we lived died, my father died in July, and then another aunt who lived next door to us died that winter.
I have to say that as bad as that all was, the one thing that I was able to take forward with me was how to deal with death. After that point, as young as I was, I knew exactly what it felt like to lose someone, then to have to continue on and make funeral arrangements, stand in receiving lines, etc., etc. There's sort of a ritual to it all that is actually comforting. At least to me it was comforting. So from that point on, I had real empathy for others going through similar losses.
I think you've hit on why you feel that you are falling short in comforting your daughter. You said you haven't experienced this sort of thing in your life. One day, you will, unfortunately. It's part of life. But until then, it might help to talk to your friends or relatives who've been through it. You can gain insight from their experience.
I can tell you that there is really nothing to be done about the feelings. A person really does just have to experience them before going on. Your daughter sounds as if she is very in tune with her friends, who are going through such a horrible time right now and certainly have a long way to go yet. No doubt, your daughter is frightened about the thought that this could happen to her, as well. And she also would like to help her friends. I, too, tend to withdraw under stress. If your daughter is that sort of personality, then it might be difficult to talk to her. Just let her know that you are sorry and will talk to her when she is ready. But if you can talk to her, I would suggest you simply acknowledge that these sorts of things are extremely difficult to bear, seeming impossible. But that just being available to her friends will be a huge help. She can simply send a card, note, email, even a text message to say "I'm thinking of you." You can set the example by sending a card to the your daughter's friends and their families.
That sounds so simple, but it's actually huge, because when you go through times like this, so often you feel alone. Knowing that others are thinking of you can be so comforting. I can remember when my father died, I felt like I was walking in a bubble, separated from everyone but still there with them. I'd walk down a busy street, people moving past me, talking, doing their normal things, and all the while my whole life had changed. Yet, I know I looked completely normal. It was a strange feeling, one I've had more than few times in my life. I felt as if I had a gaping wound in my chest, yet as I walked down the street no one would notice it. It makes you feel very separated and alone.
So if you can offer any advice to your daughter, let HER know that she's not alone, and tell her that her friends need to know that, too.
My niece died from
obstructive sleep apnea at 37. I did not see at my father's funeral. I was not called when she died. My brother's wife called my first cousin and he passed the news on to his mother (my maternal aunt) and maternal aunt called me. I had no idea (being as my brother did not speak nor want me in their lives) that the niece had gone thru so much. My aunt and I went to the funeral home and funeral and the mother told me about what kind of life she had, drugs, alcohol, prison - yes prison. No one ever told me and this was about 3 times she was in prison. I never knew anything about these kids coming up. The mother told me the niece did not have insurance, could not afford CPAP. I would have bought that had I known but like I said, brother made the decision to NOT have me around and I went along with his wants. The only heirs would be my brother's children, not his wife, not ever. I am sorry you do not tend to understand this but this is the case. In the years since 1973 no one from that family called until nephew in jail in maybe 1986 or 1987. I never heard my name called by Aunt on the first part of it. Only sibling I had. I have complete peace of mind and sleep like a baby. After my brother died with his children being 4 and 6, his wife could have reached out to me then, did not happen. All water under the bridge, long time ago.
I was nine when Elvis died,
but it still had quite an impact on me, and I remember, as do most, where I was when I heard the sad news. I was never one to watch the royal family very much, but I must say that I felt devastated to hear of the tragedy when Princess Diana was killed, and had the same sort of feeling when John Denver went home.
I was about the same age when Elvis died...sm
I remember listening to his funeral on my radio, which at that age it still strikes me as odd as I probably was not a fan of his music. Just one of those moments in history, I guess.
I also remember getting up at 6:00 a.m. to watch Princess Diana get married, and I remember when she died, I was kind of embarrassed at how impacted I was by that. I guess somehow maybe I wanted to be a princess even in my adult years.
Don't remember John Denver so much but anyone a Chris Ledoux fan?
CNN says she's dead - died at the hospital....
found unconscious in a hotel room. So sad that she had such a wasted life.
I think she died of a broken heart.
She said in an interview awhile back that if it wasn't for her baby, she'd be with Daniel whereever he was. She wanted to leave this earth.
This whole thing is so sad - like some horrible made-for-TV-movie.
It's confirmed our baby died ...sm
3 weeks ago. I'm having a D&C tomorrow since I haven't had the spontaneous miscarriage.
my father died at 96 and worked til 86
    
I'm so sorry for your loss! Mine also died of (sm)
acute renl failure, and was only a 4-yr-old Persian. His problem started with a urinary tract blockage that almost killed him. An amazing vet saved his life, but apparently the damage was already done to his urinary system, and a month (and $2500) later, he had to be euthanized. :( After reading about Persian cats' predisposition to UTIs, blockage, and renal failure, and the role food can play, I blame myself for letting him have Meow Mix dry food - not as a staple, but just as a hand-fed, occasional treat. Especially since this cat would NOT TOUCH wet cat food of any type - another risk factor. I now have a new Persian, and this kitty gets ONLY Royal Canin Persian 30 dry cat food, and immediately after the recall I threw away any Nutro Max wet cat food I had. (I was lucky - she wouldn't eat it anyway). Their kibble is supposed to be a high-quality food. But since my little flat-faced kitty also finds the shape of Royal Canin easier to pick up and chew, in addition to the fact that it's formulated for Persians, that's the only dry food I'll feed her. For wet, she gets a mixture of Fancy Feast and Friskies Prime Filets.
Thanks for the info. about lilys (?-what's the plural of lily, anyway?) Aloe vera is another poisonous one. Actually there are MANY! (You can find lists on cat websites, which you probably already know.) I play it safe and keep ALL live plants (except kitty grass) outdoors, and have only plastic plants indoors. (An upside to that is the plastic ones are easier to keep alive, too!) ;D
I know there was a reason my baby died...sm
but that doesn't erase the heartache of losing a life that was created. I've always heard that losing a child is the worst pain anyone can endure and certainly agree. I've buried a fiancee in the past as well as other close friends and relatives but the pain from their deaths was different than this one.
Thank you to those that have responded. I know I'll get through this, hard as it may be.
my Pop died early 2005-have never gotten over it
Update on dog that died from heatstroke sm
Way back in July (page 13 down below-find Calling Animal Rescue) I reported a lady who tied her dog outside in the blistering heat and I found it-well, it died of heatstroke. Anyway, I have been dilligently checking on this because I want to see this lady prosecuted. Meanwhile, she went out of town to another shelter and got not 1 but 2 more dogs. Really ticked me off. I went to my vet with one of my dogs for its checkup and he was the one that treated this dog that died. He wouldn't talk about it, of course, but I did say, "Doc, I know you treated that dog, can you please get on the stick with the paperwork" and he just looked at me and said "why". "Well, doc, I found that poor dog and watched it cook from the inside out-I want to see those people rot in court-I'm the one who officially reported it to the police". So anyway, he did just that! The police were there at this lady's house and confiscated those two new dogs and fined her for lying on her application to the shelter-said her other dog died of old age. Now it's in the hands of the states attorney. So, after sticking my neck out several times, I am finally going to see something happen. I hope they call me to testify. I gave one heck of a statement that day. It pays to be persistent.
Love the pic. My golden who died 2
months ago LOVED the snow and would always run out in the yard, stick his whole head in and then do a slow dive and wiggle around in it. Thanks for the great memory.
Ledger died from overdose
The people are saying sad, sad way of death. They are calling accidental death by abuse of prescription drugs. You know, this was a grown man. Who takes medicine in such volumes including Hydrocodone, Valium, oxycodone, etc. that do not know what happens if you make cocktails? You can be a druggy whether it is prescribed to you or not.
For a couple weeks after my dad died, - sm
both my mom and my brother saw him either walking in the hallway or working at his desk. They said it was very clearly him, and they had no fear - they knew he had just come back to be sure everything was OK, and that my mom was running his business correctly!
Paul Newman died...RIP. nm
//
Just heard she died. Such a shame.
I really hope they catch this guy.
She died less than a year ago. He's supposed to
pretend it didn't happen, deny it, ignore it, etc.? Then you'd be on here calling him cold-hearted. I wish people would leave their personal lives out of it... IT'S A SINGING COMPETITION. I happen to loooove his singing.
Ed McMahon died during the night
Probably because of all the stress caused by his injury and stress from his recent money problems.
So sad.
Michael Jackson has died (sm)
All the major news shows reporting that he died of cardiac arrest.
Fox News website now says he has died.
"after reports of a possible heart attack."
It is sad...and unbelievable they both died today.
nm
My cousin's dog died because of one. The battery went dead and the dog got hit by a car. Very s
s
she died of sepsis. May have something to do with the birth in the Bahamas. sm
She may have developed an infection and it turned into sepsis. I knew a girl once who had a miscarriage, developed sepsis, and almost died 6 months later. She was weak (she may have attributed the severe depression to her weakness from the death of her son), and this just reminded me of that gal I knew. She (the girl I knew) finally went to the doctor and they immediately wheeled her to a room and began IV antibiotics (she, too had developed extremely high fevers), and the surgeon said that had she not come to see a doctor within 24 hours she would have died. And this was MONTHS after the miscarriage....So, just a theory. The doctor on CNN also had this theory - maternal something. I can't remember the diagnosis....
My grandmother died a couple years ago.
She was not a churchgoing woman but believed in God nonetheless. As we were setting up the funeral arrangements, the pastor asked what Bible verses my grandma would have liked read at the funeral. We told him nothing particular, just whatever he wanted. She wasn't a churchgoer. Well, this Christian pastor took MY GRANDMOTHER'S FUNERAL as an opportunity to tell everyone there that she wasn't going to heaven because she wasn't "born again." I have never been SO MORTIFIED in ALL MY LIFE!!! So, believe me, I have hostility towards Christians who try to "save me" or any of my family.
Bush lied, many died, including one who
http://www.thoughtcrimenews.com/bushrape.htm
the woman never did get to testify - she was found dead..........
Vince Foster or 3000+ troops..........take yer pick.......
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