Good point, I will be contacting a lawyer - sm
Posted By: In-debt MT on 2009-02-24
In Reply to: Be careful... - mt45
to get their input, though I wil probably do the filing solo so I save money, only about $300 if I do it myself. Just need to get info and follow the rules.
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Good luck but I doubt you will find a lawyer sm
First of all, I am glad that your sister knows the truth and is not dying. Unfortunately I know from experience what it is like for a loved one to be given a misdiagnosis death sentence. My father-in-law went in the hospital almost 2 years ago with trouble swallowing and ended up getting referred to an ENT that sent him over to a neurologist. He did an EMG/NCS on his tongue, said he had ALS, and to prepare within 6 months to make a decision on being on a ventilator or being DNR. He had to quit working early & be fed through a PEG for over a year, during which time I took him to a different neurologist, a specialist in motor neuron diseases, who said that EMGs performed on the tongue are unreliable and that he had no evidence of ALS at all. Basically what had happened is that his vocal cord was not working properly, and the ENT said it was paralyzed, which is was not. Because the first neurologist just assumed the ENT was correct, he made the diagnosis. I tried calling a few lawyers for the pain and suffering aspect, but unless you want to try through civil court, there is no malpractice involved because there was no permanent physical damage done. They're lucky he didn't follow through with the suicidal thoughts he was having when he was first told all of this bullcr@p.
Contacting him
Maybe he just lets you take the lead because you have a small child and other responsibilities and he doesn't want to impose on your time.
After 5 mos. of seeing him, I would have a very frank conversation with him about it - he needs to know that you are concerned about this. It will not work itself out - talk to him.
good point...sm
except, in my opinion, the only thing they, organized religeon i.e., churches, are trying to *convert* is money out of our pockets and into theirs. I have felt for a long time that the word of God is free and that a lot of these *churches* feel they need to charge for their *services*, and I feel I can attain spirituality by my own studying and researching, rather than having to *conform* to what someone elses idea of God's word is. again, just my opinion. I don't open the door to these people either.
Good point. Thank you for the
x
Good point!
I don't seem to need to be stressed for it to hit me, and unfortunately it always seems to be when I need to be out the door.
I had my gallbladder removed a couple of months ago and it seems even worse since then, alot of diarrhea.
Good point-
history shouldn't have to repeat itself- if we will only learn from it.
Look what happened during WWII to the Japanese, being put in interment camps (and these were American citizens) because of the hysteria at the time.
And during the Holocaust jewish people were desperate to come here for saftey and yet were limited to less than 30,000 a year, and many were turned away because of immigration policies.
What I find truly shocking is that in 1939 a Roper poll found that only 39 percent of Americans felt that Jews should be treated like other people. 53 percent believed that "Jews are different and should be restricted" and 10 percent believed that Jews should be deported (knowing what their fate would be!!). The United State's tight immigration polices were not lifted during the Holocaust and it is estimated that 190,000 to 200,000 Jews could have been saved if it were not for deliberately created obstacles to immigration. But hey we couldn't have them all coming over here and taking over the country, right?
Of course we now know that at the same time our own government was sneaking in Nazi war criminals so we could utilize their research and knowledge.
Now the Muslims are being treated like second-class citizens, and people seem to think it is perfectly legitimate and acceptable (because they all must be terrorists). Sound familiar?
Just be grateful for having the good fortune of being born as American citizens and have a little tolerance for those who are not as fortunate.
Good point- thanks! (nm)
x
That's a good point too - thank you (sm)
I think I am going to rethink my earlier decision to just go with the popular advice to wait because that really is playing a game, and the precedent has already been set so if I change it now, he might take that as an ultimatum. I think I will ask, and if he says I am contacting him too much I will back off. If not, and he is happy with things as they are, I will just go with it.
Oh, good point.
I forgot about exercise. I have definitely stepped that up a few notches, which has helped a lot.
Good point!
Replacement activities are definitely helpful-especially for times when you normally smoked. For instance, I would drink water when I was on the phone cause I smoked alot then.
And like Misha said, note the money you are saving and use it to reward yourself for doing great- get massages or whatever you want to pamper yourself.
Good point. (sm)
I've had the same occur with my kids, as far as sometimes not having sufficient time to get to class (on time).
Good point. It is all about the key...
but what does the key truly signify? Especially if one is home all time anyway.
Good point
Heck, I forget to take other meds sometimes and they are not of the same variety and are not the cause of my forgetfulness.
Wow...good point. nm
x
wow good point!!
x
Good point....sm
I just told my mom today that the next one I make I am not putting the white boa trim on top because I said some people may not want that. I am asking $20 on ebay for this one. The ones without the trim on top will be less, probably $15. This is just the first one. I am going to make many different ones and different colors and see how they do.
Very good point...
... and somehow, even though I'm in my 50s, I hadn't really thought of it that way, because my mind hasn't caught up with my aging carcass (and I hope it never does, actually).
But after my father had passed away, and my mother's best friend died unexpectedly, the friend's husband started hitting on my mom. She said to me, the LAST thing she needed was another old geezer to nurse through his final illness and watch die!
Have you tried contacting a store
in your area that sells the flooring? They may have some suggestions. I know for hardwood they carried a product with the actual spray (but it was cheaper at a local home store). Just call and ask what is best to use and if they say they have products, then maybe take some time to check them out and see if you can get them cheaper somewhere else.
My husband is in the flooring business (sales/installer), and we actually had hardwoord put down and the product used to clean it was cheaper at a home store than the store where he works, so we bought it at the home store.
Hope this helps! Happy mopping, which reminds me.... geesh I'd better do that soon. I vacuum my vinyl (yucko) kitchen floor and mop probably once a month really mop by moving the table etc. But likely Emily, I also have a swiffer but it's not as effective and leaves a sticky residue. It's good for when the kids spill things though..
Wannie, very good point! lol
x
Yes, very good point on crating!
The poor animals simply become conditioned (brainwashed) basically because they have no other choice. Crates are used because owners are too lazy to take a couple weeks of physically teaching a dog to toilet outside. There are much better and more humane ways than crating.
You know both of you make a good point (sm)
Deciding to control our own reactions because "we will never, ever control what comes at us." Excellent point.
Good point. My son put me on his plan...sm
last Christmas because I travel a lot by myself. I was considering dropping the land line, but now I don't think I will.
you make a very good point
I like your perspective. And by the way, your kids will expect you to apologize when you mess up...mine do. No one gets a free pass.
Good point! I could never buy a CD of Adam's
nm
Good point...I'll pay $10 only. :D :D nm
......
Good point, I can see that as possible - I guess (sm)
If I never loan him money and I only pay for what is comfortable to me, then I can't be taken advantage of. If he started to ask for money, I could say no and break it off then, when I knew for sure. I guess if I draw the line now that's a good thing.
Playmates and playgrounds - good point (sm)
Yes! He goes on these three day fishing trips with his buddies, and they drink the whole time - a lot. He told me last night that no one else in that group cares what the other one does - he said "we all try to make sure each other is safe but other than that, we are all grown men, everybody has their secrets and their habits and all of us realize that."
Good. If you had relied on recept. to get your point
x
Good point! Maybe he should have to pay child support!
!
a baby man....lol....haha!!! another good point! sm
my self esteem is really pretty good. Just that my heart is sometimes bigger than my head
when u decide on a city, suggest contacting....
I'd call the Chamber(s) of Commerce of whatever city you decide to stay in and ask them the condition(s) of the area(s) post-Katrina.....just my opinion.
Have fun on vacation!!! :)
Okay good news first, the running will stop at some point.
My youngest (3-1/2 now) did the same thing, and my 5-year-old never did either. I was mortified with his behavior and the worst part was my dh thought I was overreacting. Then he took the kids to the store alone one day. He came home and said "Wow Tommy is naughty in the store", well duh!!!! that is why I look like I have been through a battle when I get home from the store everytime. At about 2 1/2 he started listening and got psyced about holding on to the cart with mommy, or even better riding in one of the "car carts" that they have at the supermarket. But anywhere that he needed to sit still for I just ended up finding a babysitter until he was more calm (around 32 months).
My 5-year-old starts school this year too and she is having the same issue. She is not a shy girl by any means,but she is soooo worried about K. I think it is normal and I am hoping that she will be okay once she gets there and is involved in the activities.
Sorry I guess this was not really much help, except to know you are not alone.
What's your lawyer doing
If you're separated, why aren't you and the kids in the family residence, or why isn't your ex forking over child support and alimony so you can afford your own place?
Check with welfare, Medicaid and children's services in your town to see what programs you're eligible for.
If its untenable to reside with your parents, go to a shelter until you resolve the money issues and then get your own place.
Save yourself. Light a fire under that lawyer and be more pro-active. Take charge, it you can't do it for yourself, find the strength to do it for your kid's future.
Might need to consider another lawyer
My BIL turned down for disability before, got another lawyer and it made all the difference in the world and he got his disability after being turned down before a judge. Is this lawyer strictly in the disability field or could you perhaps get a second opinion. It would not hurt to try.
I'm not a lawyer yet but...
If that bill really was first incurred in 1987 (!!!!!) there is no way on earth that it should be collectable from ANYBODY, let alone the minor child at the time!
That said, most states have a statute of limitations. Most states (you never said which state you're in, so I can't look up that state's regulations) start counting a statute of limitations from when the most recent payment was made on the account. So if your parents stopped making payments on the bill in 1999, then in a state with a 6-year statute of limitations (SOL), then legally the hospital or any secondary debt collectors cannot take legal action to collect the debt after 2005.
Now....
Not being able to take legal action to collect the debt does NOT mean that they can't try to weasel it out of you through guilt or intimidation. But they don't have a legal leg to stand on to enforce anything once the SOL has run out.
So...
They never should have gone after YOU no matter what.
And they never should have even had it in their records from 6 years after your parents last made a payment on it.
Like somebody else said - tell them to pound sand! LOL!
The lawyer and the money
Well, it seems kinda funny that shortly after her court case was settled her son died. Then, she had the committment ceremony with the sleazy lawyer. Now, a few months later she dies? Wonder who her beneficiary is. It could shed some light on the events surrounding her and her son's deaths. I wouldn't say it's all about the money, but it does seem suspicious. I still wouldn't be surprised if it winds up just being a drug overdose though.
Doctor says to lawyer
We were born on the same year, month, day, and minute. We were born in the same hospital, hospital room and we have the same 2 parents. We are not twins and we have no brothers. Explain this.
Which one? The lawyer or radio DJ..nm
x
I'd get a lawyer ASAP and have those
before he spends it all on the other woman or hides it offshore. No way would I let my half go with him and that other woman. I know this may sound a little harsh, but your mom needs to wake up and do something now before it's too late.
She told her lawyer...sm
That he wouldn't get out because he said he didn't have to until the divorce was final and she can't make him leave until then which is next week. The lawyer can and will make him get out. Her lawyer is very crude and ruthless. She hates to go through all of that though. She wants him to peacefully leave. When the divorce is final she could call the sheriff's dept. and they could make him leave but she really said this would hurt her so to have to do that. It is hard enough without all that.
Mama has told him go live with the other woman. I don't think the other woman wants him there. See she is just using him because daddy has it bad for her and she uses it to her advantage to get anything she wants from him. To tell you the extent, he had around $70,000 cash in the bank less than a year ago and it is gone. My mama has seen the other woman's mame signed where she goes to his bank and everything and is allowed to get cash out. So she is just using my daddy for money and he knows this but he has it so bad for her he lets her do it. He is now broke and has no more money or not much anyway. This woman has broke him but it is his own fault for letting her. He should be smarter than that. She doesn't want him living with her I don't think or he would. I don't know. But my mom says if you hadn't gave her all your money you would have money to find a place to live. She says not her problem. Which is true.
Talk to a lawyer first - sm
I had the exact situation listed here above, house in DH name, family 4 hours away, no money, etc. In my state, VA, it is a equiable distribution state, meaning they divide it fairly, it is not an automatic 50/50 they take in each persons contributions, etc. So in my case the house would have been 40% mine as he put down the 20% on the house from the sale of his house. Our debt would have probably held where it was about 55% mine versus 45% his, or actually I might have ended up with more as my name was listed as a user on one of his accounts and I did deceive him. In my case, I was hoping he would leave, go live with his brother in MD or rent the apt. next door (neighbor has a vacant apt. over garage, tenant just died), but he would not have done it willingly. Even now after we have worked through everything, he said the other day if I screwed it up again he was taking the kids to his parents, leaving me, and would burn the house down so I got nothing. Sweet. (then again he'd be in jail and I would have the kids and the insurance money if there was any--doubtful since it would be arson). Like I said it has not been all roses but it is going well for the most part. In my case I am glad it was not the end of my marriage though I thought it would be; I talked to a lawyer in anticipation , $160 for 45 mintues, but well worth it.
Yes, get a divorce lawyer - sm
I talked to one before I confessed to my DH about the debt he knew nothing about ($88K) figuring my marriage would be over. In the event of a divorce I would have walked away with no debt, no home, but enough leftover to either buy a house with a good downpayment, or rent and be able to afford it for quite a while. I know my DH would have tried to get the kids too but I don't think he would have "won" despite my deception about the debt. I do everything for my kids, he does nothing except make dinner a couple times a week and takes them to the movies or skating every 3-4 weeks, that is it. I never got so low as to open cards in his name, and I am thankful I never sunk to that level though it did cross my mind once or twice I knew it was horribly wrong. I suspect he just filled out them in your name, maybe even on line, and then transfered his debt to yours, possibly putting himself as a user on the account, but even w/o doing that he could still transfer his debt to "your card", I know, I would transfer debt off my husband's cards onto mine so his credit would stay pristine, and so he would not find out. I would inform the companies that you did not open the accounts, have a fraud investigation started. As for telling him about the debt, since you are already heading for divorce, I would not tell him a thing, let the lawyers figure it out. They will do a list of assets and debts and figure it all out in the settlement. He can find out then. Run a credit report on yourself and find out how many cards he opened up in your name, and call each one, or better yet talk to a lawyer first and see what they have to say on the matter. I know my mess was/is bad but very thankful my DH ended up to be forgiving enough or just too lazy to go thru another divorce (I am his 2nd wife), and/or did not want to put the kids thru that. But the sooner you get the ball rolling and start taking care of things the better you will feel, I know, I feel so much better now. You kids will be happier too. Do not stay for the kids or keeping a stable home, etc. If you are miserable, then they are too and it is a horrible example for them. In my case a miracle happened and things are better than they have been in a long time, but it sounds like your case is terminal. I wish you the best of luck.
She needs to talk to a lawyer before doing - sm
anything. Before I confessed to my DH about our debt back in Oct./Nov., cannot even remember when now, I talked to a lawyer as I wanted to know what my rights were and where I would stand in the event of a divorce. She was quite clear about not taking the kids out of the state. Once your friend has a custody agreement in place then maybe, obviously the lawyer and courthouse clerk could best advise her on that, but there are a lot of things that need to be done prior to that or he can call the cops, etc. He sounds like a primo A-hole. She needs to move fast before they lose their house though.
CPS does tell if lawyer gets involved. have had every detail given to me before sm
when they were called in me for my kids riding their bikes in the neighborhood streets like every kid in the neighborhood did. we hired lawyer, refused the one on one investigation at school with the kids, and had the "meeting" at the laywers office. never allowed them in our home, but our lawyer got every detail of the report, which was passed onto us. we had the date, the name of the person who called, their address, everything.
You can probably make-up a date to see a lawyer
because marriage is based on truth. Just tell him you are done! End of story. If he catches you in a lie, that could spell trouble. JMO. 
Time for a call to a lawyer.
x
Take this to a lawyer. Fight for him. This cannot be legal.
asf
I did talk to a lawyer too before I dropped - sm
the bomb on my DH as I wanted to know where I stood. I live in a state where they do an equitable disbursement of the marital goods, assets, etc. I would have a 40% stake in the house, entitled to about $100K in his 401K (1/2 of its growth since we married), 1/2 of assets we purchased together. Though a judge would deem what it fair, either way I would walk away debt-free though I would not have a home if we sold everything. He told me in one of his pissy moments that if we lose the house (which there is no danger of) he is moving in with his parents with the kids and I am on my own. What he does not realize that no judge would give him custody (has depression , threatened suicide, etc) and the kids would want to be with me. He has a temper too that gets the better of him too much and he is an alcoholic as well. So if a judge gave him custody I would be totally shocked. I am relatively healthy though overweight by 70 pounds, drink a glass of wine 5 days a week maybe (that is it--he drinks 9-12 beers a day --every day--- though he has cut down to 9 since the 13th for which I am happy for though I'd rather he quit altogether---But good thing to find out where you would stand in a divorce and what you would need to do in terms of custody if push came to shove.
probably call a lawyer dont you think?
Maybe she could see a counselor herself and see if they could help her to make the decision or at least scoot her in the right direction about what she needs to do or who to talk to.
That's too bad of a situation... wish her the best
Go talk to a lawyer pronto - sm
I did this before I confessed to my DH about our debt issues back in October as our house is in his name only as is the mortgage, and wanted to know where I stood with my "share" of our assets. If it was bought after you married, as ours was, then it is maritial property. The division is not 50/50 unless you both contributed equally to the downpayment, in my case he used the money from the sale of our (his) former house that he had before we married. So my share would be something like 40%. Our two cars are in both our names, except our boat and utility trailer, those are his which is just fine with me. I also have no money, but he (we) has a very nice 401K (still by some miracle), of which I would be entitled 50% of the earnings in the time period of our marriage. But basically regardless of whose name is on what it is maritial property as long as you lived in it together and you contributed to the household in some way whether it is paying all the bills, or some, or staying home to take care of the kids, it is a contribution. They figure out all the percentages, etc. I would not leave the home though, he will say you left the marriage, etc. Call around, see if you can get a free consult or a discounted consult. I think I paid $160 for my 45 minute phone call but I felt much better for doing so. Luckily I did not end up needing the lawyer, but I was ready to do so if necessary. Good Luck.
,,,use your support system, and find a lawyer who
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