Good mother and enabler do not belong in same
Posted By: sentence. nm on 2007-11-06
In Reply to: I may be looney, but IMO - tinkerbell
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You say she is an enabler?? And just what do you think
df
You are an enabler
Sorry, but you are contributing to the situation. Two young adults should be working to feed any kids they brought into the world. If they can't afford to feed them, they need to be sterilized or to abstain from the occasions of conception.
There are plenty of programs in this country to feed hungry kids - if you son and his female friend are too lazy to even make the effort to get free food for their kids, that's their problem, not yours.
You need to butt out and let them take the consequences for their actions.
At this point, you are as much an enabler as the mom.
sdf
My mother had a good saying
She used to say can't never could do nothing- in other words if you have a will, you have a way… but you are making do in a marriage that is less than satisfying because you do not have the get up and go to get up and leave. I had to do it- what if hubby dies- what do you do then, lay down and give up? I have for most of my life worked at least 2 jobs, sometimes more- whatever I had to do to survive. I had no one to be there for me. It can be done- you want to make excuses why it cannot be done.
very good mother-in-law
I have a vergood one. She has always treated me like I was her daughter, very nice. Invited us over for dinner many times when we were first married. We struggled financially. then after I had my first daughter she babysat her without asking for any money and also provided food for her, like breakfast, lunch and dinner. I would say overall she has always been the best and been there for both my husband and myself. I am truly blessed. She also has given us money, bought clothes for me, bought me a car, gave us a house. God bless her.
Need GOOD mother-in-law stories sm
I inadvertently posted for this on the Autoimmune Board this AM and admin hasn't switched it over yet, but I did get 2 nice answers on there, so I will try on the "correct" board now. I really need to hear from some people who have some positive feedback about their MIL's. I guess it was a freudian slip that I did it there because I am in a lot of pain every day. I try very hard to be a good MIL but sometimes I get a lot of flack and I blame it on the TV shows, movies and anything else that will generate big bucks from this campaign. I am a little tired of it all and really am making a concentrated effort to put together something positive about mothers-in-law in general, or step-mothers-in-law. Jeez, we deserve a break sometimes, dontcha think?? My MIL taught me how to drive, my hubby never would have as he kind of likes me to depend on him. Albeit, she may have had an ulterior motive, to get me out to work (which I did) but at least she let me crash her car a few times. Does anyone out there have anything POSITIVE to say about their MIL? I'd really like to hear it. I could use a boost! Thanks
PS: I've done a lot, free babysitting, helping buy a house, lots of things, but I'm still "his mother" and can't seem to do anything right. I never forget a special occasion and try to be thoughtful. Gosh, I'm tired! Can't we drop the stigmata of Monster-In-Law? Please say something nice.
You're worried about the mother? Doesn't sound like she did a very good job herself! nm
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You don't have to belong to
organized religion to have a relationship with God. But I do believe he gave us the Bible to learn about Him. It says he wants our undivided devotion. That is a point that is very, very clear, but extremely out of style. In fact, it has always been out of style!
I think our human nature wants to know God, but unfortunately also wants a god we can control and whose story we can write. I am guilty of those longings to have the power to control all things at times, but I do believe there is only one God and he is holy and righteous and all-knowing, and we are just the creations who don't have the right to decide what the Creator should be like from our tiny little perspectives. So I repent from that pride, and we humans come with a nature that doesn't want to do that. And that's why it's so hard to be a human, I believe.
house cats do NOT belong outside...
they got hit by a car or disappeared.....or brought a bird (dead) to my pillow...*lol* -
nothing really good happens when you let house cats become outdoor cats......
I blame the OP as much as the SIL....take responsibility and don't let your (future) cats out of doors EVER.....especially since you KNOW the situation with the dogs of hers.
2+2=4 
I belong to several horse "boards"...(sm)
All are local to either here in Maine or New England though...However, for a start you can visit:
http://www.equinesite.com
http://www.mainehorse.com
http://www.equichat.com
http://www.chronofhorse.com
http://www.perin.org (my personal favorite--wink wink)
Feel free to e-mail me personally if there's anything I can help ya with! (just click on my name). Best wishes!
Those PETA chicks all belong in
Or better yet, cages.
She was a stray. I did not realize she did not belong to anyone
until after she was pregnant. We adopted her or she adopted us. I do plan on getting her fixed.
Did you check the registratio you think maybe it did not belong to her? borrowed to sm
shop? Shame on you for judging without knowing.
Um, kids don't belong on a 3-hour TS tour
in the first place. I'm sure everyone else there was cringing when they saw your brood in tow. One in diapers, no less. Unreal. I think these tours are meant more for wealthy people who can afford these things, not for people looking for freebies for the whole family. And I'm suprised the guy was bothering you at all, and just didn't say, "NEXT!"...lol
Does this post not belong on the political board?
NM
Meant keep their noses "out" of where it don't belong
sorry bout the type.
AGAIN: Christianity-based threads belong on appropriate board. SM
Keep all Christianity discussions and debates on the Christianity board. I cannot move them there so they are deleted from other boards if they appear.
Goldbird
Are you as 'funny' ? as this joke? BTW they belong on the Comedy Board...nm
nm
All prayer requests/topics belong on Prayer board only. NM
Goldbird
Whatever my mother-in-law and mother are cooking--lol
we go to my in-laws for Christmas Eve and usually have ham and kielbasa (we are Polish) and then my mom usually has turkey or roasted chicken on Christmas Day
I agree - a mother is a mother and a daughter is a daughter for life sm
despite the problems they had, which i truly believe stem for anna's drug problems. obviously her mom wasn't too bad or she would not have raised daniel for a while. i think the mother wants her buried in Texas so the grave will be close enough that she can go visit it without having to come up with expenses of going to the bahamas to get there. although i contradict that too in poor anna needs to be buried with her son.
Anyone have any good holiday dessert recipes? Looking for something good to take to a party. nm
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What a good role model you are for good holiday spirit...wow nm
Awesome! Good service is good news.
nm
glad to see you look at it this way! Really good idea! Have a good season! nm
nm
Good Fences make good neighbors
You can get premade cedar fencing that comes in sections. You dig a post hole at the appropriate distance and fill with a bag of quick-crete. Alternatively, you could buy a used fence from a place that hauls away.
You could also get an electric fence, just hook to a battery and run the cord (for retraining purposes) it would not hurt your dogs.
I feel your pain. Roll up your sleeves and pray for some digging weather!
mother in-law help sm
Ok, so here is what is going on. My mother in-law fell down some stairs and broke her leg. She did not have insurance. She had not been to a doctor in 27 years. She has been in the hospital for about 4 days. They had to do surgery and things are looking good. She will have to have rehab for a few months, use a walker and so on. Well, guess who they ask to take care of her for the next few months? The "stay-at-home" mom who has all the free time in the world haha (not to mention I have a 3 year old who stays at home with me and a busy 6 year old in school). This would consist of me taking her to the restroom, bathing, changing dressings, helping with rehab exercises, not to mention working 8 hours a day and making sure my 3 year old doesn't climb on her. I feel bad for saying no, but I think that they should feel bad for asking me. She has 5 children. I feel that it is way too much responsibility for me to take on and that it absurd that they asked me. Aren't there facilities where she can go at least for the 1st month? Please help, just need advise.
And for anyone who wants to say "if it was your mother..." Believe it or not, in June MY mother fell down some stairs and broke her ankle. I was at her house every afternoon and we had people come in multiple times daily to check on her. However, the mother in-law is about 25 years older and the extent of the injury is greater. I would have never asked my husband to take care of her and help her do these things.
My mother-in-law
My mother-in-law keeps giving my Longaberger baskets for b-days and Christmas. She loves these baskets and has over 100. She visits the factory several times a year, (about a 4 1/2 hour drive) and often takes the female family members with her. These baskets are beautiful but I am just not a basket person. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but these baskets are expensive and I have over 20. When I tried to mention to her as politely as possible that I just don't need any more baskets, she told me that she often changes hers out so she can enjoy them all. I would much rather have sheets, bath towels, cookware, or even a gift certificate for dinner. My hubby and I have been married 19 years, have to children, and have a very good relationship with my mother-in-law. She is a fabulous grandmother, but I am really tired of the baskets. Any suggestions?
I also have MVP and so does my mother...
so I don't know if there is a correlation or not between the two...
My mother's cat
looked like it had mange and when I asked the vet about it he said he had never seen a cat with mange. A friend told my mom that cats are extremely allergic to poinsettas and my mother had one sitting in the cat's favorite window. After she threw out the flower the cat got better very quickly. 
It's up to your mother-in-law to keep them in the
them. Your sister-in-law should not even bring them over there anymore in my opinion. If your mother-in-law's gate cannot hold them in for sure, then she absolutely should not watch them.
Your sister-in-law sounds selfish to me, so point out to her that it is unsafe for her OWN animals to be out running free, as anyone would have the right to shoot them if they were on their property threatening them. Maybe then she will care! Plus she (or you mom-in-law) could be sued if the dogs injure or kill someone or someone's animals. Not to mention they would have to live with that for the rest of their lives.
Having seen my own mother do a 180
since the death of my own dad 3-1/2 years ago and learning the hard way from things that have happened - I would just keep my mouth shut and say nothing and do nothing.
mother . ..
This may not be comforting to you, but I wish my mom (also 80) would do something like that. I think she would enjoy the company, and the activities. We have an awesome ALF here in our town; it's like a mini city!!!! Be glad she is making this decision for you and that you don't have to push her. She may benefit tremendously from this!!!!
My mother once said and she was right...sm
tis better to raise children in a happy divorced home than a miserable married one.
I divorced my kids father and within 3 years, all of us were in a much better place and now, 16 years later, this still holds true!!! This, I swear!!
I really have to believe that my Mother is up there
watching over her grandchildren. She lived for those kids and that truely was one of the things that hurt me the most when she died so suddenly. My niece is leaving for college in Aug. My son got his license and did very well in the state Forensics competition. Little things like that are the things that she would have been so proud of. I know my mother was a christian but I just hope that she is able to see us here on earth. Thank you for your response.
what was his mother like?
?
My mother does this to me!
She does it all the time and it's infuriating!!! She interrupts my sentence by finishing it herself and it drives me absolutely crazy. I've asked her nicely, I've asked her rudely, it still continues and I have just given up. She's not going to change, especially at her age. Sometimes when she interrupts me, I'll just stop talking altogether and that's the end of the conversation. Try turning the tables and doing it to your boyfriend incessantly and see if he gets the point.
I feel your pain!!
For Mother's Day...sm
my wonderful DIL made me a CD from pictures of my two sons from tiny baby up to my older son's wedding (my younger son was Best Man). Her choice of music and pictures were all just perfect. I LOVE IT!
I wish my mother would be
I don't think I'd be so hip on her folding my panties, lol, but seriously it sounds like she has very good intentions. My MIL lives out-of-state and I wish she lived closer so I could spend more time with her. We all have our quirks. I would love it if my MIL or my own mother took the initiative to check my children's homework, etc. It would be different I suppose if she lived across the street from you but since she is that far away, I'd let her enjoy herself. Had she gone through YOUR MAIL or something private like that, I would be concerned.
My own mother does this
I have told her especially when H is here especially to knock first. She never seems to get the message through her head. 
mother
Do we have the same mother? You have to be my sister - I have a very wonderful mother. The only problem is, I cannot seem to please her - EVER. She is a person who is constantly doing and giving, so people think she is a saint. Only with me is bitter, hates the Holidays, hates the whole gift thing, decorating, etc. I absolutely love to decorate, but gifts, fancy wrapping, etc. I keep telling myself she won't be here forever, and try to "play nice" but sometimes could just scream "Okay, I get it - I will never be pious enough or frugal enough (unless the Q gets any worse) for you." Anyway, don't feel alone. I feel your pain. Have a wonderful holiday season and if you get any more frustrated, email me - we can trade frustrations.
My mother used this when I was a kid
and I saw some in the store just the other day, smiled to myself, brings back memories.
Of course, he does. But what would your mother
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Mother's Day!
 I met my daughter for lunch Saturday and it was great! Unfortunately she live about 35 miles away and traffic was horrendous. But all worth it of course. Sunday at church and hanging out with some friends - great weekend!
my mother-in-law and I SM
we actually do look alot alike, and people often assume I am her daughter. On the other hand, we are total opposites in personality.
If her mother was like this...sm
Then I guess she just inherited this disposition unfortunately. God knows why they bred this dog if it was this bad that they had to put it down 6 months after having pups. I hate you had that experience. I wish you could have had a good experience with your pit. But I understand.
what my mother always did sm
she sent us outside with disposable tshirts, to suck the goodies out of the pomegranetes. very staining and nasty for kids clothing, but delicious. it was a ritual.
I'm with the other mother...
If you don't like your grandkids, don't baby sit. I have a child, whom I think is wonderful. I resent anyone telling me that I am not parenting the way they would. You raised your kids and it is time to let your daughter do the same. I am sure that she is not trying to ruin her children. How would you have felt if this criticism were coming to you instead of from you?
when I became a mother
I put up with every single drop of crap until I became a mother. I could not stand up for myself, but I could stand up for my child.
But, it is something her mother is against and that is
having sex prior to being married. Her mother also was against teaching forms of birth control in the Alaska schools. Her mother would condone if others- I guess her daughter is an exception. There is no good reason now for a girl to get pregnant- too much birth control out there. Besides, what a way to start- neither kid has finished their education, no one has a job, shotgun wedding- if there is one, won't last. I guess Levi and Bristol could work with the guy's mother in her meth lab.
Our Mother
My mother has 4 daughters, 22 years between the first daughter and the last. Each time a daughter marries, the mother tries to come between the couple by getting the daughter to say bad things about the husband and leave him. She unfortunately has had two bad marriages herself, but is still married to the second husband despite his infidelities. With each marriage, the pressure is applied earlier to the daughter.
We are now on the marriage of the third daughter. She had been married for 90 days and the pressure is being applied pretty severely for her to leave her new husband and move back home with mother.
The first daughter has not spoken to mother for 14 years due to this compulsive behavior. The second daughter fell for it once and doesn't want to be divorced again, and is actually relieved there is another target.
Loyalty to mother is the only acceptable behavior. Daughter number two is not convinced daughter number three will be able to take the heat.
Anybody know about these things?
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