Good advise
Posted By: Ms. Guilt trip on 2008-04-17
In Reply to: I've been married 13 years and - mtroadie
No need to tell him too far in advance. Overall he's a good man. I'm not making excuses for him but we do laugh a lot (like every day we are horsing around). We don't really fight all that much. I'd say overall we have a good marriage, but he just gets in these moods sometimes. I often wonder if he's going through mid life crisis but don't know. The issue of him working and where we are going to live is a whole nother story because he could decide on one thing and then the next day its something else. Last weekend he was getting ready to tell me what he wanted to do but before he did he mowed the lawn and when he came back in he had told me he changed his mind. I laughed and said that's why I told him to wait and mow the lawn first before telling me what his thoughts are. HA HA. What really doesn't help matters is all this blasted news about the polygamy people in Texas because my sister is a Mormon. HA HA HA Oh well...like you say, i'll wait. My sister and I were talking bout maybe July. I'll definitely keep you posted as to how it goes.
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I would advise this -
Do you have some place in town that can handle picture conservation, like a museum, that kind of thing? You might even try calling photo devlopers or photographers to see what they recommend. Sometimes they can work miracles. I had an old picture restored from the 1800s that had a water stain on it. When they had finished I could hardly tell. Yours do sound worse than mine was, however. Good luck to you! :-)
Advise for my dog!
Help! My 11 year lhasa-poo (light of my life of course!) has a torn anterior cruciate ligament of the back leg. He cannot put any weight on it. Surgery which is not that successful on an older dog is $10,000! SO! Anyone have experience or tips about this? I can hardly function for worrying about my Simon! Thanks to all, Ginny
Some advise from one who has been there
In earlier years I thought I could not afford insurance, young like her with 1 child then. Worked at hospital and worked on outside basis for other doctors transcribing. son in accident, needd orthopedic surgery, 2 admits to the hospital. The hospital made deductions, the surgeon did as freebie as I had no money. What would have happened if not working at those 2 places? After then got insurance and had ever since - over 30 years without letting it drop. I learned my lesson and it could have been a very expensive one.
advise
ok, what would you do? Took a MT job outside home, quit home MT job, worked 1 week 1 day, got let go yesterday. Employment agency never told supervisor that I had vacation planned and paid for for 1 week end of February. I told her on Friday and she was furious and said "I never would have gone along with that". Then I was let go, after a full day's work, on Monday. Agency called me 6:00 last night to tell me. They said the reason was "things were not getting fixed that needed to be fixed". Have no idea what they mean. After only 2 days training was put by myself to work. Never, ever told by anyone about quality of my work, I don't think it was ever checked. I now have a closet of new clothes & shoes. I am so angry and my self-esteem is in the toilet. Have been an MT for over 20 years and now my confidence is shattered. What do you guys think I should do? Please help this tired old lady.
Sclerotherapy advise
Anybody ever have treatment for spider veins with sclerotherapy? and what has been your experience.
I am strongly considering it. I have tried the creams and they do not work. I have a big patch on the upper inner part of my thigh. It just looks gross.
I also have broken capillaries on my face. Any suggestions other than laser therapy or even sclerotherapy? I am a bit nervous about doing that to my face. Thanks.
I can't advise but can commiserate
My husband got rear-ended on the job three years ago, is still having pain and numbness in his back and leg. The company he worked for didn't file for Worker's Comp or even fill out an incident report, which we didn't find out until his bills weren't getting paid. We got a lawyer, who is useless. They finally got going on the Worker's Comp but now they've stopped paying again - he's getting his Lyrica through Pfizer's patient care plan because we have no insurance and WC won't pay. Any phone calls get redirected when he calls WC insurance carrier. He's pretty much resigned to living in pain the rest of his life. I don't know how people can cheat and get away with it when he can be legitimately hurt and not get any help at all!
my advise (for whatever its worth)
dont raise him anymore, stop today. if it is something you dont want to do, then dont do it. if he doesnt want to be responsible for the bills, then let bill collectors call, whatever the case may be. find something for yourself. that is what i have had to do. sometimes i forget, but im much much better when i do. i take a walk in the morning all by myself. i rearrange the furniture (okay im weird) lol, he hates that, but i dont care, it makes me happy. we are not here to MAKE SURE they are happy. they can either be happy with the person you are inside or hit the pavement. i know you will make the right choices. also too, i had to stop talking to my family about him because at this point, they hate him, and want me to leave. i am an adult and i have to make my own choice, and i pray it works (and works functionally) for us.
btw, his mother has OCD, she cleaned his whole childhood. she has a hugely dysfunctional relationship with her mother, and did have with her daugher, who is an alcoholic. she is very selfish, and is just generally miserable. she is a christian, but is the kind that has all the right things to say, but doesnt act on any of them. analyzing her helps me to see why my husband is like he is.
BTW, the company I advise you
to avoid is
The Cleaning Authority.
They have a rigid schedule they refuse to deviate from, they mark up your walls with their tools, and they break furniture. They don't know how to properly clean a laminate floor or sinks. You have different workers each time, so tipping well makes no difference in the job they do. Complete waste of money, no matter how many times you meet with the supervisor.
You want advice, not advise
NM
Simple advise...(sm)
Review all available material to you and go by what makes sense. I like to read and have recently started a study that will compare religions as well as athieism. As well, I think the huge contributor to all religions and non-religions is the state of being at the times of change. For example, when the Bible was put together, there seemingly were several books left out. Of particular interest to me is the book of Mary. My question there is why was it left out. At that time women did not have the ability to speak their minds as they do now. Is that why it was left out? If so, was there something important in there that all christians should know? If so, where does that leave christians now? Yep...there are tons and tons of questions, and I don't believe you will get all your answers out of just one source.
There are also questions about athieism, like where and how did everything begin? You can find a ton of sources about how things evolved, but not so much on where it began.
Read, look deeper than just the words, and trust your instincts.
Anyone gluten-free who could advise me? (sm)
Would love to talk to someone who has gone gluten-free and see what your symptoms were, what you are able to eat, and what your results were. I think this may be my problem. Thanks so much!
thanks for the advise, you say some very smart things - sm
though I am really not sure about the in person thing. I am serious about trying not to be killed in this, he has threatened to kill me before over some really stupid stuff (and we have a lot of guns in this house), and as this is a major thing, and he has been through this with me before....just before we married I was $12K in the hole. I paid it all off though within weeks of the wedding and we were debt-free for about 7 years (except for mortgage). He has told me before if he ever kills me, he will kill himself too....not that this is any solace to me as I really want to live. Generally he is full of hot air, but you never know what will send a person over the edge and I think this debt may be what does it for him. There are a number of extenuating circumstances that caused the debt, it was not me alone of course. He likes to spend as he pleases and I do try to stop him as much as I can but sometimes it is not possible (unless I drop the bomb of course), family illnesses, we did private school for a while too which did not help, and just got a new used car....which we owe his parent $10K for which I am paying them $500 a month for as well which is really putting a crimp on things...but he insisted we had to get rid of my reliable truck for better gas mileage....the new car has needed $800 in repairs so far in 4 months which is just wonderful. When I do drop the bomb, probably in the next month or so, I may try to farm the kids out to friends houses then give him a letter with all the dirty details and the possible solutions. I think having it all down in writing will help some. I know there will be tears on both sides, and my stress level will plummet once it is off my chest. I notice my skin problems act up when we are short on cash, then clear when we get a paycheck. I am sure my BP is jumping about and I cannot lose weight no matter how hard I try too, though I think that is a mechanism to keep him away from me as much as possible. Needless to say it is a total mess.
I don't understand how people can advise
to stay in a marriage when you stated you are not happy, you want out and you do not love him. Why stay in this marriage? You know the answer and you do not need validation or feel bad because you want out. There is nothing worse than having to wake up and go to bed with a person you do not love. Life is to short to stay in a loveless marriage. Be good to yourself and be happy. Why have regrets when you are older.
They usually advise Motrin and Tylenol for pain. sm
I see a lot of this in ER work, and they are never really concerned. Only the pt is concerned and in pain. Take some otc pain meds and it should go away soon.
Anyone have any good holiday dessert recipes? Looking for something good to take to a party. nm
x
What a good role model you are for good holiday spirit...wow nm
Awesome! Good service is good news.
nm
glad to see you look at it this way! Really good idea! Have a good season! nm
nm
Good Fences make good neighbors
You can get premade cedar fencing that comes in sections. You dig a post hole at the appropriate distance and fill with a bag of quick-crete. Alternatively, you could buy a used fence from a place that hauls away.
You could also get an electric fence, just hook to a battery and run the cord (for retraining purposes) it would not hurt your dogs.
I feel your pain. Roll up your sleeves and pray for some digging weather!
Hey hon, you can have one. There are tons of good ones out there looking for a good woman. They ain&
doorstep. Seek and you shall find. So, if you 'really' wanted one, me thinks you would have one...
All good points, good post. (nm)
xx
a good movie with a good lesson
x
Good for you! Keep up the good work!
nm
Yes there are some that are good. This wasn't about one that was good.
x
R-I-D-D-A-N-C-E. Good riddance. Not good riddens. Riddens is not even a word.
my pet peeve
I would make a good Beth with wig on. Not sure DH would make a good Dog.
xx
Here's a good one.....
She is sexually inactive since being widowed by choice. 
Good for you!
:-)
Good for you
Sounds like she has a good home. It just may take her time and I am sure professional help will help. We need to learn not to let them train us. I have two cats and my dog and I am sure I spoil them according to most people but right now they are my family. I am sure Tasha will not be around much longer and don't think I will replace her for a while. Would be nice to be able to come and go for a while and not worry about someone taking care of the dog. Also it is a little more work training a puppy down here on the water in a floating home. So it will be me and my cats for a while. I am also not sure I have the energy for a puppy. But it sounds like you have sure provided a good home for Miss Lilly.
Patti
good for you--sm
Puppies have a way of healing our hearts! We won't forget, but they fill that empty gap..for the other remaining pets, as well. They get lonesome too after having had a companion for a period of time. Just give them time to become friends. I am happy for you!
as an IC you need to get a GOOD CPA....
I truly do not think you can do this yourself, unless you are so business-books acclimated and always on top of things.....
I've been an IC for 10 years and an MT for nearly 30, and as an IC I always get my things CPA-ready for the CPA (receipts/bills/statements, and I write everything down once I get the receipts/bills in good order in the late winter/early spring, by March, and so I go to him with all the categories and the figures and not the receipts/other garbage). You get a percentage off for your office, your electric, et cetera. The CPA's know all the in's and out's of this and are quite helpful and worth every dime, in my mind. I used to pay quarterly taxes (about $500-750) but now I choose to pay yearly, one lump payment by April 15th and I'm all very legal!!
Best of luck! 
It looks good!
And shouldn't that be rheumatiz? :-)
Good for you and your Dr..sm
That is great to hear. Our GYN office was out of the vaccine at the time of our visit, so they must either pushing it hard, or getting a lot of requests for it. I had seriously considered having my daughter get the vaccine, but after I have had a chance to think about it, I'm having second thoughts. I don't want this generation of teenage girls to be guinea pigs for something that may have harmful effects later on. And the government making it mandatory? Let's hope not.
some good, some bad
but don't you want your kids to have a better and easier life?
That's a good one!
!!!!!!
not good
according to about-to-graduate as vet daughter. As certain nutrients that the one animal NEEDS, is not in the other's food. I can't remember all of what she said, but know it can lead to deficiencies.
Good for you!
Glad to hear things went so well, and I'm sure your mind will rest easier now too.
LOL! Good one... : )
x
Good for you.....
 So excited to read that. I would swear that is the best "diet" so to speak. Great news - keep up the good work! 
Good for you
I find it very hard to believe that it happened to you and you can be so flippant about it.
Mine happened more than 25 years ago. I was 14 years old. When I told, I was branded, I was a liar, I was asking for it, etc...
How is it that a grown man can beat the living daylights out of a young girl, rape her, cut her legs with broken glass, and then act like nothing happened. How can an entire community act like nothing happened?
I still have nightmares. I can sometimes even still smell that cheap cologne he wore. I want to vomit every time I get a little whiff of it.
The next 3 weeks were the longest of my life, wondering if that monster got me pregnant. I absolutely would have aborted if he had. Either that or I absolutely would have killed myself.
I would love to give you my nightmares since you seem to be so strong. I would gladly give them up.
Good. I used to like her; but since she
came out of the closet, she has become more arrogant.
Not that there is anything wrong with that. (coming out of the closet).
Good - thank you (sm)
You both just posted about the same time. Not sure what I did to that poster. Anyway..I made an appointment which my boss agreed to, and I haven't given my notice yet - thought I should wait until I feel better to make any big decisions. Thanks
Good for you. --sm
once you start feeling better, the other positive steps will fall into place too. Hang in there, you can do it!
and DumDum is not so DumDum--I have been around the block a few times myself, and have had many experiences such as yours. Think positive thoughts for what you want out of life and those positive thoughts will create positive energies around you. Don't let anyone elses criticisms get you down. It can be hard because all it takes is one negative remark to set you back sometimes. Take care and good luck to you!
Good for you! I am on day 2.
You can do this! We both can do this.
I am on my gazillionith quit attempt. Stress always does me in, but I am like you, thinking this has to be the end.
This stinking habit is really jeopardizing my healt. I had a really bad URI about a month ago and then ended up with costochondritis. I quit for a couple weeks, and then picked them up again. Got fed up yesterday and said enough. I can't smoke, because it kills to cough. I am so tired of the way cigarettes make me feel, both physically and mentally.
Look for the book, The EasyWay to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr. It helps to get you in the right mindset and put in perspective what the addiction does to you.
Good luck. Keep fighting the fight, no matter what. E-mail me if you need a quit buddy!
Good for you!
That sounds like fun. I would love to find something like that so I wouldn't have to be at this desk quite as much.
Good for you! If you have
made it through the first 3 days I think you are pretty much home free, so day #8 is excellent. You have gotten the nicotine out of your system and have conquered the physical withdrawal- now you just have to deal with the mental/emotional addiction.
I quit 15 years ago and it was a struggle but what worked for me was to ride out each craving when it came on, without trying to stuff it down with food or whatever. In the class I took they said that if you stuff the cravings at the beginning then they will pop up 2 or 3 months down the road when you are totally unprepared mentally for them, and that is usually what makes people relapse.
The other thing that really helped was when I was in a good solid mental state and really aware of how much I wanted to quit I sat down and wrote down all reasons I wanted to quit and all the bad things about smoking that I hated and all the good things that life as a nonsmoker would entail. It was very good to have that to read at times when my mind would try to play little tricks on me.
Also, watch your self talk. If you see someone smoking and think to yourself "man, they get to smoke and I can't" you will only feel deprived and punished. Think to yourself "I'm so glad I choose not to do that anymore."
Good luck!!
Good for you!
It will get better. DH did it 3 years ago, and he is unbelievably glad he did. Smoking is sooo inconvenient these days. When I see people smoking outside their places of business these days, they don't even hold their cigs like they used to; now they usually try to hide them. They are probably wishing they were already where you are right now - at 30 days. Your breathing is going to be improving, exercise will get easier, and your skin will start looking younger.
You certainly have a lot of stresses in your life, and this change is going to help you in the long run, as you know. I applaude you for making this positive change and handling all that.
You are pretty awesome.
When I say it's good for ya it's good for ya! nm
x
LOL. Good
I was afraid you were one of the many that didn't like him. If you need to know anything else, just let me know.
Another good one
We recently had an article in the paper here in town where a woman won on the Price of Right, a very expensive car, not sure if it was a ferrari or something else - wanted donations to pay the taxes, tags and insurance, something like 25,000, so she would not have to sell the car because she liked it so well.
WOW! Good for you.
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