Giving away kittens. Need advice on best approach.
Posted By: mom of 2 young girls. on 2009-05-26
In Reply to:
I have four 9 week-old kittens that need a home. I found a good new home for 2 of them. Anyway, I have told the girls, ages 7 and 3, from the start that those kittens will need to be given away. However, they have both become very attached to the kittens. Anyway, the people are asking for them and is wondering when the best time to come get them. I don't know if it would be better for them got get the kittens when the girls are here or when they are at school. They are already getting under our cars and I am afraid they are going to get ran over. They can eat solid food and drink water. I still see mama cat nurse them though not as much as she used to. Any tips would be helpful.
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Posters here are giving great advice
I would definitely stash the savings before she got her hands on it. AND, I do believe she needs some help. Overspending can be a sign of a chemical imbalance. At the least, she needs budget counseling. You have to think past the moment, to the years ahead when you are both old and could possibly be broke.
We live in a double-wide trailer, older, but it is nice, and we are fixing it up room by room. Our mortgage is smaller than what rent would be. This is a conscious choice for us, knowing that if you choose the big fancy house, the big fancy payment comes with it. If you are already struggling, please stay where you are. I think you knew your answer before you asked us, just wanted affirmation, and all of the posters are wise on their advice. Best of luck to you.
Maybe try this approach...
Use it with him! Tell him to meet you in the bedroom in 5 minutes. Warm up with the toy and then let him join in. If you can prove it is no threat at all to him he may be more accepting and encourage you to use it? Good luck! :-)
Don't lie..different approach
So what if you die tomorrow? Your 6-year-old will not believe anyone again.
What are you going to tell him when grandparents pass on? Might try a Christian book store and see what they have to explain death, heaven to a child.
I like POSITIVE ideas. For instance suicide. I ask the young people "aren't we all God's children? Doesn't God love all his children? You are not supposed to rush into God's presence but HE knows when you are coming and he loves everybody!
If you happen to fall over dead tomorrow, who have you asked to take care of your son? This could give your son reassurance that he will not be alone.
I lost my son on his 22nd birthday to leukemia. I cannot think of anything else but that I WILL see him in heaven. My 16-year-old surprised me when he said that my son will spend his birthday in heaven!
The "free" advice that I want to give you is keep it up beat, positive, loving (not to the extent that suicide is an option), good thoughts. You don't have to accept every idea a church gives you either. Form your own good opinions and ideas! Pass them on to your son!
Good Luck!
A different approach
This is what I would do and why.
First I can see all the posters points of view and if I was my mother I would probably be mad and argue. However, I have learned over time that arguments like this sometime (and I say sometimes) are not worth it. My mom and her husband would fight and fight and fight just so one could say they won. Sometimes something like this is best to just let go (wears much easier on the nerves). However, with that if it was me I would sit down with my husband and explain to him that I was upset because I didn't realize he was going to keep $10 to put money in his car, and thought we were sharing the costs to fill up the car we were in. Then I'd be "more of a man than he is" and give him a kiss and a hug. I would also then suggest maybe an alternative way of getting gas and that would be to fill both cars up whenever they get to 1/4 tank and go half & half on whatever the cost. My dad told me you get more gas for your money if you fill it up rather than little amounts here and there.
So, that is what I would do.
LOL, that's one approach I haven't tried yet, but I like it.nm
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I would not approach her family
I think you would be better off going through the school. Maybe the family is odd! You don't need to create problems with the parents.
I, for sure, would speak to someone at the school though.
Kittens
I know they make smaller ones for rabbits and ferrets. One that size may fit a kitten. I think a leash is better than having a kitty get hit and killed by a car. If you take them out I would find a way to keep them protected. :)
I had kittens who did this, too. sm
Love my flat screen. One time a kitten laying on an older monitor puked on (and in) it and shorted it out. New monitor immediately. Love them, whatever they do.
Those kittens have a much better
chance of finding a good home if they are tame, which they aren't gonna be unless they are around people. Try and get her to keep them in the utility room since hubby already allows her in there and your girls can get them socialized so they can find good homes.
If U do apply for job, approach that facility and U
x
leash for kittens
Is there any collar/leash for very tiny kittens if you want to take them out and keep them from running in all directions? Or is it inhuman to put kittens on a leash?
From my experience with kittens - sm
It often comes from the food they are eating? Are you feeding her a good quality kitten food and no table scraps and no milk? Has she been checked out by the vet and dewormed? Those are the things I would look at first. It could be she just has a sensitive tummy, but you may want a vet to check her out. Oh, and congratulations on your new baby! Enjoy her. How fast they grow up! :-)
The kittens were booorrring. All they did was sit. nm
yawn again
Your approach works wonderfully in theory...
but in reality, this rarely works. I have been an RN for 13 years now, doing MT on the side. I do not look at this from a one-sided MT point of view, but rather from a mother's point of view.
As a nurse, you must know that even when you try to educate your patients as kindly and nonconfrontationally as possible, when you start to point out to them things they may be doing wrong (such as not taking meds consistently or correctly, continuing to smoke when they have emphysema or COPD, eat tons of salt on a low-salt diet, etc.), IMMEDIATELY a wall goes up and the mentality is "How dare you try to educate me on MY life and point out my shortcomings".
Public health nursing is even trickier. From experience, even being as kind and non judgmental as you can possibly be, 99% of the time, this mother does not want to be aware that other people know about her problem. Most of the time, they think "OK, if I just ignore it, it will go away eventually". If others come to them and say, "Look, I know you have a problem, let me help you with it", they only get more embarassed knowing that now everyone at their kids school knows that they are not getting rid of it, and she will likely tell you exactly where to go.
I agree with what you are saying, that we should try to help each other out more. I am not being judgmental, but I guess after 13 years of this, I see the way things are and not the way we wish them to be!
I don't know of any nurse that will make a home visit. In fact, our county is getting rid of school nurses starting next year. They will have 2 nurses rotating throughout 24 elementary schools in the county, none in high school or middle schools.
From experience, the Health Department is usually the only entity that can do anything about this. They can come in and give the mom some education, determine why the child can't get rid of them, etc. For some reason, most people will accept that kind of help from the Health Department before they would a concerned parent from their kids school. Maybe they feel like nobody knows if the Health Department comes, but everybody knows if another parent comes over?
You seem to have a very positive outlook on things. Good luck in your schooling.
Never a good idea to approach wildlife - sm
Even deer. One strike with a well placed hoof and you are done.
We live in the sticks. Waaay out in the sticks. We have coyotes, racoons, tons of deer, and the occasional bear and cougar roaming around.
Coyotes have come down and attacked our dogs in broad daylight right in front of the house and the racoons tear into the garbage cans.
Had a bear tear down our gate to the pasture trying to get to our horses one year. The gate post was 8 feet long, buried 4 feet down and anchored in concrete. The bear pushed it over like it was nothing. Thankfully it ran off when I fired a shot in the air.
The game department took one look at the picture I took of a problem racoon we had tipping our garbage cans and said, "Sorry, we don't have any traps big enough for that old man." He was HUGE! I have never seen a racoon that big in my life. I thought it was a big dog until I put the spotlight on it.
Wildlife is nice.... at a distance.
I didn't know you could still buy puppies & kittens
at a pet store. I have seen that in years.
Question about my cat who recently had kittens.
She had kittens 7 weeks ago, and we gave them away at 6 weeks. They were eating kitten food, but still nursing just a little bit. Her nipples are really hard, almost feel like tumors, but not hot, red, or oozing. Is this normal? If so, how long should it last?
Actually last night they had a segment with kittens! Adorable. NM
XX
The not so nice furry has had a litter of kittens
but age wise, not so sure about that. The people at the HS probably do not know also, she might have been a stray. I am really surprised she was out at the back of my house last night, out again today as she had only been here inside for such a short period. My coworker and I are going to get a trap from the shelter and get her fixed and hopefully then let her be happy as a mouser. I hate the fact she will have to be outside for awhile. My felines all inside, never out and not only dogs around but also cat eating coyotes and I am in the city limits. People here told to keep animals up.
try a gentler approach with them, try watching the kid, even puppy sit, it may make things better
nm
Found a live cam pointed at Himalayan cat w/kittens
Copy and paste this into your browser for a huge dose of cuteness! 
http://www.marestare.com/masada.php
(This is from that same site that does the live foal cams, but these folks have it pointed at their cat with kittens for a change of pace!)
Need advice on a good, adjustable chair for typing. Any advice? nm
nm
Both! JK, actually considering giving up
coffee and wondering if Morning Thunder has caffeine or not. I love my coffee, though. Don't know if I can do it.
Giving
Two years working as a missionary overseas has taught me that material things are really not important. Do not hold onto things with such a tight fist. I guess after see children begging in the street for food daily kind of changes your perspective. Oh and then the women who washed her clothes on a rock made me vow to never complain about washing clothes in a machine.
Forgive your husband. His giving nature is more important that a rolling pin. A fire, like those in Califronia, or other natural disaster can cause you to lose all of these things. Things really do not matter anyway do they?
Have a nice Thanksgiving, and be thankful you can afford food to use a rolling a pin on. So many people in the world cannot.
giving up the
The older I got the more I got these symptoms from too many dairy products. Once I cut back the bloating went away. I think the sitting just makes it more noticeable because you cannot get away from the smell! (hope that is not too graphic:)
holiday giving
What you are doing is a wonderful thing and I understand your hurt feelings. Perhaps next year you could channel your energy into giving where it would DEFINITELY be appreciated. Regardless of whether or not you support the war in Iraq, there are many of our troops there who would love to receive a card or care package for the holidays. There are plenty of needy children here in our country who could use a card or gift for the holidays. Why not give where it is wanted and needed? Your church can give you the name of a needy family for you to help at the holidays. You have many options to chose from. Pick something that will make it feel good on both the recipient and the givers side??
Have you tried giving some fluids?
I have a shih tzu with diabetes. When is sick he will get close or under my knees. Listen to him he's trying to say I'm sick. Try feeding him some rice with a little chicken in it, something bland or even canned pumpkin, not the pie filling. Good source of fiber in both diarrhea and constipation for dogs and humans. When mine was sick the other day I got a syringe and would give him grape flavored ProPel water by gatorade, about 1 oz at a time every hour or so and then sooner as long as he kept it down. Just enough to keep from getting to dehydrated. Dogs can go down really fast when dehydrated yet some vets say they can go awhile without food/water. Not if already dehydrated though. I would recommend going on petpeoplesplace.com forum you can get some good advice with people with same breed or problems. They also make something called Rescue Remedy for anxious/nervous dogs you might check into.
I am glad everyone is giving their sm
opinion. I value that. I told in the past to work with us. If it is a specific thing, like a late movie, concert etc we can be very flexible, but to just hang out at someone's house or ride around town it is not necessry to be out past 1 a.m. Her 21 year-old sister agrees with me which is surprising. Her friends don't have curfews, but they also did not get into college either. I told her she can bring anyone home. She told me these are not the kind of people you bring home. Last night I caved in and told her 2 a.m. She did come at that time but I kept waking up untl then. I got up at 7 a.m and it is now 9 a.m and she is still sleeping. I have to admit at19 I did not have a curfew but I was always home by 1 am because I know my parents expected us to be respectful. THANKS AGAIN.
I never knew they had that! Thanks for giving
me JUST ONE MORE snack to try!!! LOL. 
What about just giving from the heart?
Why put such a price tag on something so trivial? Jesus is the reason for the season!
Received none, but instead of giving one (sm)
which I planned on doing, after seeing something on the news about them, I just decided to give cold, hard cash (no complaints, btw). Anyhow, the news story said that stores profit greatly from them since people lose or forget about them, or buy more than the value of the gift card. So, I decided to just buy 50 one-dollar bills for my son's GF for a better effect LOL.
And that is precisely why they are giving it to
They are trying to stimulate the economy. They WANT people to spend it. They don't want you to put in in the bank. That's why they are not giving it to people who have money.
Re handing out money to people who don't file... that is incorrect. They do file. They just fall below the income amount to pay taxes.
I would prefer to be in a tax bracket that gives me less of this handout than one that gives me more.
Anyone giving up anything for Lent??
I'm going to be brave and say no to candy for the next 40 days!
Gift Giving
I just got married in July 2008, bought a new home, and am now expecting my third child in April 2009 so we ourselves have had many blessings this year but our financial situation is also pretty tight. We will not be buying gifts for anyone but our children. Our family will receive homemade treats this year. We still like to do something nice for them because they have done so much for us this year and every year but we don't have a lot of money to play with.
In my case, we take care of our obligations (bills, our children, etc.) before we worry about "gifts". We feel that providing our children with things that need and the love that they deserve is more important than any material gift will ever be. Our family understands our situation and is very happy just to spend the holidays with us without the expectation of a gift because honestly the quality time with family is the biggest gift we could give each other.
In my opinion, you should just explain the situation to them and let them know that you will not be giving gifts this year. They may take it hard but they will get over it. You have to do what you have to do. Gifts aren't the real reason for the Christmas season anyhow.
Good luck to you!
Giving birth at 70?
A 70-year-old woman from India claims she has become the world's oldest new mother.
Rajo Devi and her husband Bala Ram had wanted a child in all their 50 years together.
She claims to have given birth to a baby girl at the end of November after having IVF treatment. Her husband is 72.
OK, I'm giving it a try again, except for the shoes.
I cleaned my sink last night and will keep that clean. Got up this a.m. and got dressed and ready for the day, which does indeed make a difference in my attitude. The only thing I won't do is wear my shoes in the house. This is something I've never done. It's not a cultural thing, it's must a me-thing. I'm always in socks in the house and keep my Crocs by the door for quick trips outside to mailbox or garden. The only time I wear shoes is when I'm out and about. This is something I've done all my life, and it just feels very weird for me to have shoes on in the house.
I would think 15 is good if you're giving her something else with it.
However, $90 for cut and color is inexpensive? I live in a pretty expensive area and basic color generally runs around $35 to $40 and cuts are not always $50+. I'd say she is expensive but if she is good probably worth it.
Respect or giving up your free will.
If she wants to go to church, and have that church a major part of her life, why should she give that up. He shouldn't have to go if he doesn't want to either. Sometimes divorce isn't a sad/bad thing.
what are you giving your child's teacher
I was thinking some sort of gift card...I'm sure she is overloaded with trinkets and Christmas ornaments, etc. Any creative suggestions? 
MERRY CHRISTMAS...
Fox still has not announced if they are giving any money....sm
to the cause. Notice that they keep wanting people to donate, mentioned corporate sponsors but not once have mentioned any contributions they will make. They also have no mention of this on their website.
Good for you for giving it your best shot.
 You obviously found something that attracted you to the man since you are with him. Any and all relationships require work. We are each different individuals, and in order to live together, need to find the balance that makes each happy.
Stealing then giving to charity?
Used the stolen money to make donations to churches?!? Who does she think she is - Robin Hood? Or was she thinking on judgement day she could say "Yeah, I did some stealing, but I gave some of it to God, so its all good"?!
Is giving grandparents a scrapbook
I think it would be, but decided to get opinions. Thank you in advance.
I'm giving mine COAL. LOL. nm
nm
Well, I'm guilty of giving neighbors' dog
he does come over our fence, literally climbs over, and comes into our yard and then our house. He goes straight to the kitchen, waits for a treat and then goes out the front door and to his yard. He gets ignored a lot so I feel sorry for him. He's so cute.
See my post above about gift giving sm
Take care of yourself first! I am glad you give so much of yourself, but take it from the source, stop killing yourself, you will know what I mean some day. Take care of you and the rest will follow. I am so tired.....stop burning the candle at both ends, charity begins at home. Then when done at home, go bowling!!
I'm giving up negative comments
I'm going to let only positive comments pass my lips, otherwise I will stay quiet. Believe me, the Lord knows what a sacrifice this will be for me.
If you had read further, instead of giving ok to steal,
then you would find out other things missing. I do not understand why you would basically condone stealing because it was "meaningless things?" I work for what I have. I am certainly in no ways ashamed and neither should I be. Stealing is just that, stealing and I think it is part of thou shalt not .......
Too small for me... love my SUV and not giving it up...
and will be getting another one. Prius and the like okay for in town driving but I live rurally, shop once a week, load up the SUV and it's done. My gas mileage is 20 -24 mpg and I can afford the gas.
I can see why some folks are giving up their pets
I just took Spot and Nerys to the vet for routine senior kitty blood checks. I also got Nerys a refill on her prednisalone. It cost $325.
Those furballs had better appreciate it tonight when I shove pills down their throats.
I think you're giving them too much leeway
by thinking they might have done it out of habit. When you know someone doesn't do something, whatever it might be, you don't do that thing. They know she doesn't do the texting thing and they did it anyway. I think they were being snots.
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