Get her professional help fast. Maybe family counseling. SM
Posted By: Cece on 2008-09-25
In Reply to: What would you do? - sm - dizzi
Sometimes it just isn't one person in the family who has a problem. That came out badly, since I didn't mean you or any one in family in particular. Just dynamics of family life.
Best wishes to you. You will need a great deal of strength, but you can all come through this even closer as a family.
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Definitely look into family counseling
with or without your husband. Do you think your husband will even want to spend that much time with the children or will he fight for them just out of spite?
My little brother's (not so little anymore, he is now 33) birth father was a lousy father and when he and my step-mother divorced he was a total deadbeat dad. When my parents married my father wanted to adopt my little brother and (sperm donor)would only sign over adoption if he could have visitation rights. My "other" mother agreed because she knew he would never ask to see my brother and she was right.
I wish I could offer more help, but definitely look into cousenling.
i'd tell him it's marriage/family counseling
You need a professional
Unless your mil is a psychologist or psychiatrist, she cannot diagnose autism. First, have you checked the child's hearing? He may have wax buildup or some other type of malfunction that is preventing him from hearing you - and he may not be ignoring you at all. That would also explain the speech delay. Get audiology testing after your pediatrician checks for cerumen impaction.
Don't worry until you know there is a problem. Chances are greatly in your favor that it is not autism. Several children in my extended family had speech delay, and there are many reasons for it. All those kids were talking blue streaks by 3 years of age.
Your son sounds like a very normal little boy - get the ears and he hearing checked out. Please let us know how he does.
These posts come across as not being very professional,
in their jobs, just the opposite. I might (and underline that) throw the clothes in the dryer but what you hear are women crying about what to do with their children, how to do their house chores around their work time- Good golly, what I am saying is I do not think a majority of the MTs on here would be able to hold down a job outside of their home because their home interferes with their work. I say either work at a job, not cry about it or do housework. One post said if inhouse would probably stand around a water fountain, that is a hoot!! No work, no production, no money. So simple.
Yes, I believe you do need professional psychiatric
attention and fast. I, for one thing, am not a size 6. I am a size 14. I also eat regular food and am not addicted to food with corn syrup in it. I am, however, a smoker. So with that said, I know your struggles with addiction. Now it sounds like all you have to do is exert as much of that energy that you use to research the fact that it is the government's fault that your overweight on exercising and eating properly and stop blaming doctors and your so-called "thyroid problem". Get a grip, life is too short. Compassion is something you have for someone that has no control over their situation, i.e. cancer, multiple sclerosis. Obesity is not one of those conditions, yet. However, I did hear that obesity will eventually become a disability meaning that you'll get a parking spot closer to your destination; yeah, that's sure to help the cause. Let's let fat people become even less active by deeming them disabled and give them special privileges. Cut me a break. Think about your saying. I smoke, but I don't run around saying the cigarette companies put something in the cigarettes. I choose to put the cigarette to my lips and inhale. I do not, however, blame the cigarette company. I blame myself making the CHOICE to smoke and not giving it up. My CHOICE. I do not consider myself "afflicted" with my cigarette addiction. There is also bariatric surgery available, which would probably work very well for you since you are never hungry, but once a day, and that once a day you only eat organic fruit and veggies. By the way I know for a fact that when you go for a bariatric surgery consultation, they send you to a psychiatrist for a consultation. Do some research on that.
You need professional advice
Go here: http://www.daveramsey.com/ . (Clickable link below.) On the right side of the page near the top are "endorsed local providers" or ELP. Find someone local who can help you sort out your finances and figure out exact what you can afford and when. And get a copy of Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover (most libraries have it but you may have to get on a waiting list) and follow the plan it outlines. It's nothing fancy, just good old-fashioned advice: Save your money and don't buy anything you can't pay for with cash (except a house, and there are guidelines for that).
I understand that you love California, I have lived in both SoCal and NoCal and I particularly loved NoCal (Sonoma County). I would be living there right now if I could afford it, but I can't. I have a brand new house here in Oklahoma that we paid $175,000 for that would probably cost at least $500,000 in California, expecially since it is a lakeside lot.
So, if you plan to stay in California, the reality of the situation is that you will have to work harder and save more to have a decent standard of living. I think you realize that, since you are willing to work an extra IC job to help buy the house. But please, do get some professional financial advice before you take such a big step.
And good luck to you and your wife and your new baby!
then there would be no professional sports (sm)
I think probably over 75% of athletes- way over, are using performance-enhancing drugs at a professional level in all sports. I think a lot of athletes do not even realize they are taking steriods or performance-enhancing drugs, they think they are *supplementing.* You cannot stay competitive otherwise, no matter your talent and skill level.
I compete at a pretty high level in two sports, softball and bodybuilding (my division is called figure/fitnes), and steroid use is rampant even at an amateur level. I am one step away from a pro card in fitness but I know I've gone as far as I can being natural. I also am a trainer, besides MT, and most of my athletes that leave for college tell me that they know they will have to come make a decision about this if they want to go as far as they can. I just try to keep them as educated as I can, knowledge is power, but I do think that to reach the top in an uneven playing field, well... it is very tough and a true shame.
Regardless of Barry's faults, there are many, lying and drug use both, he is truly one of our greatest ball players. That power and intensity may come from drug use. But that kind of true beautiful swing he has does not come from drugs, nor does discipline and determination.
This is a topic that leads to a good debate, that is for sure!
You need to seek out professional help . . .
This can't be fixed just by you changing your behavior. Both of you have to come to realize how the other feels and how to work towards the goal of a happy, giving, respectful marriage. From what you've written, it sounds like you have a passive personality, and it sounds like he's taking advantage of that. I would also suggest that you seek counseling through church, so that you can both discuss the spiritual side of your marriage and develop that as well.
I pray for healing for you both, especially for the children. Happy and loving parents are such a gift to children.
Or eat the 2 weeks and get professional from here.
x
When a professional bathes your cat,
just make sure you are are a mile away so you don't hear the sound the cat makes when the water touches him. I had one that could shriek, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
you are a professional victim
You will need your time to argue with everyone else.
The post below about calling a professional - sm
restorer is a very good idea. My only idea would be to actually soak them and then gently peel them apart and dry them by laying them flat on toweling. It could be done this way, very tedious and time consuming but I think you'd be able to save them. Someone who does their own printing too may have some good ideas as you may need some sort of photo solution too to soak them in. Good luck.
Not boring, but professional athletes..sm
are definitely overpaid!
LOL! You are hilarious! So you get up, put your professional attire on sm
including your jacket and hose, probably heels too, and go to work? Wow! You are amazing! I bet you look spectacular in the morning! But not me. I'd rather spend that hour getting ready typing and making money. Besides, I'd feel kind of silly looking all gorgeous and "professional" hoping for a higher wage when the only person that gets to see me looking like this....MYSELF!!
We have decided to seek professional help.
My husband and I talked and decided that for all our sakes and to try and do things right, we are seeking professional help to guide us through this.
I feel somewhat more relieved with that in mind.
I hope all this works out for the best.
Thanks everyone
Yep, it was. There goes the best looking male professional dancer ever on the show....sm
Alec is some serious eye candy.
Wait, there would be professional sports, just not at the level we see now, you know what I mean? nm
nm
I get my professional strength ones on ebay for really cheap
They are less than $5 and are the same exact stuff they use in the dentist office. I have been using them for years and everyone tells me that I have the nicest teeth.
City gal here. We have professional critter people, who SM
come in and collect rats, possums or other varmints who invade our homes. They charge around $200 for that service. Us city folk are real wimps.
A friend who has county house bought some device that emits radio waves that the creatures don't like and they leave. It works, because I have stayed in her house.
Or, as stated previously, borrow a cat. They will make short stay of that rat.
MY DAUGHTER is a strong, independent professional
So do my sons.
I didn't raise them as helpless, mindless animals. I taught them to be strong. I taught them how to take care of themselves.
You probably would let you kid take your money and stomp all over you. You deserve whatever you got coming there. Better keep your checkbook handy.
Family is great but I am never back in my hometown where family is... So I always have extended fami
You can always pick your friends your stuck with your family. An Xmas for me is where my husband and kids come home to. It is what you make it!
Summer. Friends or family? Family. Tired or Awake?
x
Need help fast!
Is there a way to get a certified copy of a birth certificate in a couple days? Other than driving to the county where you were born? I live in California and I have looked at some websites but the fastest I can see is 3-5 days and I need it in like 1-2. Any help is appreciated!
Not so fast!
Your return only equals about "10% or so" assuming that the stock or fund you pick stays flat or goes up in price. If you lose money on the stocks, the 100 bucks they give you at the end may not even get you to break even. You also have to subtract the cost of your trades. 10% a year is a killing in this market.
You can learn to read charts & screen stocks at www.clearstation & www.morningstar.com.
You have to have a strong stomach to be invested in anything other than a passbook savings account right now unless you are in a VERY conservative fund, in which case there is no way you are going to make 10%.
Rule of thumb is the closer you are to retirement, the more conservative the fund has to be. The further out from retirement you are, the more time you have to make up your losses (and there WILL be losses).
So be very careful. I hope you're not planning on day trading.
As fast as I could! nm
nm
You call yourself a professional, you sound more wimp than woman. Hate to inform you, your not
You are an embarassment to other work at home moms/wives/MTs. Guess you can't take care of things and earn a living at the same time. Seems your in the minority and really don't need to get so defensive since you started this. No wonder ya work at home.
not in the fast lane
It doesn't really matter what lane I'm in, but in fact I hardly ever drive in the fast lane. I always move over for people who want to pass me because I figure, That's the guy who's going to keep me from getting a ticket. The point I'm making is that they ride my butt when they were getting off the freeway anyway. I go to the trouble of moving over, & then I see them in front of me, pulling off at the next exit. Like they couldn't have just gotten off while they were still behind me without having to make the big macho statement, or if they were so bent on passing me, there is normally at LEAST one lane to my left that they are welcome to use, since they are almost always going over the speed limit. And on the rare occasions when I am in the fast lane, if someone is riding me I ALWAYS move over. Always.
Jeez. I didn't expect to have anyone get in my face over such a benign thread.
Run, run fast and don't look back!!!!
Being a step-mom to kids who have no idea what the meaning of respect is SUCKS. Especially when the father has no interest in teaching them! Been doing it for almost 10 years now, don't put yourself through it. If he doesn't "get it" after this he probably never will, and will never change.
I'm headed nowhere - fast. Or perhaps to
We had DVR'd it and just fast forwarded
through that part.
Big difference between family values and family jewels, eh? lol
LOL. I love this show. I think Gene and Shannon and her sister are a riot! What characters. It really is amazing to me the kids seem so laid back and so normal. They seem like great kids.
Does your family still do the early Sunday dinner w/family?
s
Back away now, and do it fast. Then you will find out. I think he is not the one, but you sm
will learn quickly. (he sounds like a jerk to me).
Netflix -- fast. Love it.
nm
Mine also, and I go very fast driving over them
and hold my breath or pray pretty much. Years ago my sister had gone over a bridge traveling to Tennessee just before it collapsed and I never forgot it.
On the news today they said something like 70,000 bridges in the country are in disrepair. I say put our taxes to better use! Do something constructive for a change.
Scary stuff.
I can see that time fast approaching...
well, not without my hubby, but the kids are getting to be moving-out age, and we see less and less of them and have more time to ourselves. I enjoy that. But in the winter, my husband works very long hours. I'm home alone all day, working or doing what I do. I have an active life away from my family and enjoy my friends and community. If I had to, I could live alone, but I really don't want to.
Now, an occasional break from the family life is always good! I do solo backpacking now and then, a weekend or several days at a time. I love living by myself with everything I need on my back. It's a real confidence builder!
No stead-fast or gal or man or whatever, this one has improved
.
is there a reason you were in the fast lane?
haha since that was my pet peeve, i had to ask... i mean i may be the one riding your butt if #1) you are going BELOW the posted speed limit or #2) there is NO ONE in the other lanes you are passing!!
and you know... you NEVER know why people are going fast. Sometimes they are just irresponsible, but sometimes they may be heading to somewhere that constitutes an emergency for them you know? not that they should put others in danger but i have learned to come to that conclusion...
With the holidays fast approaching...
I am wondering how your kids found out about Santa. My son has never led us to believe he doesn't believe, although we have wondered since he is in middle school now. I found out that he told a young cousin about the truths of Santa, E. Bunny, etc. My husband and I feel like we should approach him about this, not with the intent of being in trouble, but just to let him know that he shouldn't spoil it for the younger kids. Under the circumstances, I think he said it to be spiteful because he didn't want to go to bed for the tooth fairy to come.
I know as a child I was afraid that the holidays would cease to exist if they found out that I (the youngest) knew the truth. It was my older sibling who finally talked me into spilling the beans so no one had to get up early in the morning. I wonder if it may be a similar circumstance. Normally he is very open and honest with us and asks questions and discusses things that most other kids would find embarrasing, etc. He is a very good kid and I was very surprised to find out that he did this.
Run away fast from this tramp and don't look back! nm
n
It would grow old real fast for me - sm
so I can understand you being annoyed, and no it is not heartless. Is he short on cash? Can he afford to feed himself? Obviously is money is an issue then it is a different story. Were you very close before the divorce or is this new behavior? I presume the GF does not want him there for dinner presuming it is a loneliness issue for him. But as you said he is probably keeping an eye on your mom since he asks about her every day, I would presume the divorce was her idea? Or is he having buyers remorse? I would set some ground rules for dad and tell him as much as you enjoy seeing him, etc, that you need some nights to yourself, and to limit it to maybe 3 days a week, MWF or something like that. So he still gets to see you (and stalk your mom) but not monopolize every evening. Or else starting making things you know your dad dislikes!
Thank goodness for fast forward on DVR! - sm
One word - LAME!!
Definitely go to counseling!
It worked for my husband and me. I was the one who cheated, ONCE, so the person who says once a cheater always a cheater does not know what they are talking about. Our marriage had been neglected, as it sounds yours has been. Do not give up until you first try counseling. You have to really work at it, but it can be done. We have been married for 25 years now. Good luck to you.
Counseling.
x
counseling
It sounds to me that he is putting on an everything-is-normal face for you with the excited talk of the future but this is how he really feels. I'd try to get him to go to a psychiatrist (so he can be prescribed an antidepressant if he needs it) and let him know that he can go in without you and keep it private, as obviously he doesn't want to talk to you about these feelings. If he knows it is just between him and the psychiatrist then he may be more willing. If he won't go for that maybe at least try taking him to his pediatrician for a trial of an antidepressant just to see how it helps his mood. He may not even need medication but just someone to talk things out. There are also teen suicide lines where then can just talk. He seem like he wants to deal with this privately (to the point of denial) so maybe you can help him get private help.
counseling?
Is the child in any counseling? I have a stepson as well who is (not to this extreme) but has battled with not wanting to eat. We were told it was likely the only thing in his life he could "control" and that's why he did it. He has been in counseling since a young age (court mandated because his mother refused). It has done him a world of good. If nothing else, he always knows he has someone to talk to about anything and not have fear of getting in trouble or embarrassed.
And you need counseling.
dd
Does anybody know what helps get rid of fever blisters really fast. I just got some and they are
not very nice looking on my lips.
LOL! Good suggestion, they would leave you alone fast!...nm
nm
Don't worry, after they have counseling
as adults and realize what they went through they will resent her for it and she'll learn the hard way. Happens all the time.
been there, felt that, got counseling
We had been married about 15 years when I began to feel that way about my husband. We do not have kids, so let me tell you that I had little motivation to even want to try to work on things. Hubby suggested counseling (both group and just the two of us). After about a month of this and reading a few books at home I felt 100% better and those feelings of nearly hating him for no apparent reason went away. We worked hard on communication, which we had let slip over the years, during which time I harbored all kinds of hurts and resentments for things he had no clue were even making me upset, mad, disgusted, you name it. We will be celebrating our 24th anniversary this year and cannot be happier, so it CAN be done with hard work. You have first got to put your relationship as priority 1! Please do not just walk away without first trying everything you can!
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