GOOD FOR YOU! But, think of yourself first. call the domestic violence hotline FIRST.
Posted By: Holiday MT on 2007-12-31
In Reply to: Thanks everyone for your comments (sm) - OP
They will refer you to any other agency that is needed. Perhaps you do not need to deal with his AA right now. I only say this because you can only concentrate on 1 thing at a time, and you need to get your self-esteem and self-care up. Then, you will learn he has to seek out AA, you cannot make him go if he does not want to. Perhaps the domestic violence counselor will direct you to Survivors of Alcoholics, etc. But please put yourself first right now. And put your safety first right now. But don't listen to me. Listen to them on that hotline and do not be afraid to take whatever steps they counsel you to do, they are experienced and know how to help you best. Keep up the good work.
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Domestic Violence/Alcoholism Question
First, let me state this pity is neither desired or deserved. This is a situation that I allowed to perpetuate so I deserve no sympathy. Also, I apologize for it being so long; I never learned the long-story-short lesson.
I was involved/lived with with an alcoholic who turned verbally abusive after a 12-pack, physically abusive after 18. For reasons that even I don't know (although I'm sure Freud could figure it out), I stayed with him for over a year. However, about 3 months ago, we had gone on vacation, his drinking and violence escalated and, after he kicked in a door at the condo we were staying in, I called 9-1-1, fearing that few slaps I had taken so far were going to progress to where he choked me again. In the past when the violence got really bad (about once every 4-6 weeks), I could just get in my car and drive the hour back to my house. This time, the whole thing was at 2:00 in the morning and my home was a 10-hour drive away; he was footing the bill, so I didn't even have the money for gas.
The original trial was supposed to be the end of April. He remained sober from the time of 'the incident', and we stayed together, until he jumped off the wagon 2 days before the trial, at which point I returned home. I was not going to testify, at which point the charges I guess would have been dropped (per the prosecutor; my ex had declined a plea deal that would have meant no jail time). I reasoned that maybe he had finally hit bottom and realized alcohol was ruining his life, but obviously not. The prosecutor ended up calling me the day before the trial to ask if I planned to be in attendance. I literally did not have gas money to get down there (abusive alcoholics take a toll on one's paycheck/bank account), and told him that, and the trial has subsequently been postponed and is coming up in about 2 weeks.
My question is...is it worth actually showing up and testifying? The ex is obviously a drunk, destroying the life of the adolescent son who adores him (how normal is it for the son to have to carry daddy up the steps to bed?). I can rationalize that it's good for the son to get away from daddy and his drunken pot-smoking buddies for a while or that maybe the ex will get rehabilitated. But in truth, the biggest thing for me would be vengeance for being used and abused. Would you go ahead and testify or just cut your losses and move on? As a side note, I'm not the first woman he's hit (although the others were drunk stoners and cop-haters); also, it's not that I would be destroying a man's perfect record- he has a felony DUI conviction after 3 misdemeanor ones and numerous in other states that never caught up with him(I found that out after going out with him 2 months...Bill Engvall echoes in my head- here's your sign).
Thoughts? Do I go for the vengeance or vacate?
National Domestic Violence Website and phone #...
If you haven't already visited this website, it's very useful: www.ndvh.org, National Domestic Violence website. The hotline # is 1-800-799-7233, available to all 50 states. You can call them just to talk and, if wanted, they can help you formulate a plan to get yourself and your children out of this situation. Ask yourself this question: Do you want to live like this, in fear, walking on egg shells, for the rest of your life? I feel for you and I'll keep you in my prayers. One other thing, I don't want to be alarmist, but when you visit any websites, like the above, you might want to make sure you erase the history on your computer each time so no one else can see where you've been.
Is there a Crisis Hotline you can call? sm
I know many times that my docs have recommended Crisis intervention; the programs in this area are hospital-based.
Has there really been much more violence since Saddam
was executed? I haven't been watching the news with New Years and all.
definitely call a good vet!
Something that starts out minor can turn nasty pretty fast. Best of luck! :-)
more domestic emergencies
I wonder if my PS will excuse my sudden disappearance for a half hour just now - my grandson broke into my office shouting Hurry, grandma, hurry!! ebay has a terrific sale going out in 7 minutes for this huge bunch of knights...etc. HURRY!!! So I frantically tried to find my ebay account, sent in a bid, but it just closed....so sad! Am trying to calm down and back to work. ha!
Calling AA will do you no good. You need to call Al-Anon.
nm
domestic emergencies-y'know it's a wierd day when
this week (Tue. I believe) I had to email my PS to take two 15-minute blocks off my time card to upblock the toilet and clean up the over-flow (twice)! Argghhh. I still don't know what didn't go down!
Tx for the popsicle-on-tongue boo-boo idea. Have you seen 1/2 rubbing alcohol:1/2 water and a few drops of food coloring to make ice packs?
domestic emergencies-y'know it's a wierd day when
The kids are quiet, you're typing along, when your six-year-old comes crying into the room with a needle-threader stuck to his tongue. Drop everything to assist... Oh, the joys of working at home uninterrupted -- Any other funny dilemmas you've had to deal with? LOL :) Back to work after a soothing popsicle...
Are you the Anon who was worried abt possibly violence or hubby taking your kids? m
Best of luck to you for taking the steps to change your life. I wish you well.
Anyone have any good holiday dessert recipes? Looking for something good to take to a party. nm
x
What a good role model you are for good holiday spirit...wow nm
Awesome! Good service is good news.
nm
glad to see you look at it this way! Really good idea! Have a good season! nm
nm
Good Fences make good neighbors
You can get premade cedar fencing that comes in sections. You dig a post hole at the appropriate distance and fill with a bag of quick-crete. Alternatively, you could buy a used fence from a place that hauls away.
You could also get an electric fence, just hook to a battery and run the cord (for retraining purposes) it would not hurt your dogs.
I feel your pain. Roll up your sleeves and pray for some digging weather!
You should call....sm
an attorney that deals with bankruptcies and ask them what you can do in this situation and they should be able to help you for a minimal cost.
In most states, if your husband's name is not on the credit card account they cannot go after his credit or try to force him to pay your bill... and vice versa.
For a reality check - the credit card company can seize your bank account and incoming deposits to one, force your employer/clients to turn over money designated for you to them for the debt. If you don't present some sort of offer to pay them a reasonable amount every month then they may choose to do the above things to you and legally can. However, if you can show the courts you can pay "x" a month and the judge thinks it's OK then they wouldn't be able to garnish any monies due to you.
Since you mentioned that you only work part-time, they'll probably suggest that you take on a full-time job to pay this debt.
Call them
Your best bet is to call and tell them what your situation is, that you want to work out a solution with them. Even if you have to refinance with them to get payments lower to a level you can afford, it will be worth it - don't default if you can help it. Nowadays, it can raise your car insurance rates, affect new employment opportunities, etc.
Besides, paying it back is the right thing to do. It will let you keep your self respect.
My dog does it too..but we call them
"kitty biscuits," LOL. Either way it's gross. He's been doing it forever, and we can't seem to break him of this habit. 
call
I would definitely call them as well. Had this happen and reversed as well. I know there is one cc company that refuses to do that and it happens to be Discover. Many other companies have reversed this for me. Please call and say you thought you paid it off so whats this!
call that b*tch!!
just kidding! :) This is such normal behavior for teenagers, I always told my girls that I coached that college is completely different than high school and there would be MANY changes, no matter how "in love" they thought they were... It is a sad reality, and unfortunately I am not a mom yet but know that when I am I will be dealing with this. I think the only thing you can tell him is the old saying "time heals all wounds" although it doesnot SEEM like he will EVER get over it by the way he is feeling right now, promise him he will. there are better things out there and everything happens for a reason!!! And you said they haven't officially "broken up" yet... you know what's coming obviously... and this is in no way a way to treat someone you love. She is just trying to get out of it easy. good luck, heartbreak is hard. I'm 27 and still go through it :)
Call the guy and ask nm
x
Thanks .. will just call them and see
if I can remove some of the extra charges and go forward. I did not owe much of anything to anyone and then changed jobs and the fun began! I really don't have that much faith in a third party and I learned that from transcription!
sorry- not what I would call fun either
If I get the chance mine will have a fun time at my house!
Can I just call them?
a
Just call me
 Simon!!
Call someone now.
I went through the same situation with my father for 8 years (bedridden, dementia, strokes, etc.) and grandfather during those same 8 years and 1 year after that. I got help from my doctor, general practitioner. She is a good listener and knew exactly the direction to guide me for help. I was neglecting my health while taking care of others. I remember one time taking my grandfather to a doctor appointment and asked them to check my blood pressure. It was extremely high and they did not want to let me leave the office. I had to sign a waiver stating that I knew the risks but I also promised to see my physician, which I did immediately. I am now on medications for hypertension, hypothyroidism, depression, and cholesterol. Please take care of yourself now.
I would call.
They might be waiting to see what applicants show a true interest in the job. Doesn't hurt to have your name out there to be noticed and remembered...better than being lost in the shuffle. I wouldn't call again after that though.
God says to call sin for what it is.
Please call someone!
Call your local suicide prevention hotline. Even if you are not suicidal at the moment, with all that is going on in your life, that could change at any moment. At the very least they will point you to some resources that will help you. The most difficult thing to do is ask for help, but you really need to. If you don't want to call the hotline, try your local United Way office, they have many solutions that could possibly help you through the emergency until you can get back on your feet. You are in my heart and in my prayers. Reach out and let someone help you... please....
And what do you call yourself in
a marriage where the love is gone, the happiness is gone and you want out? I call it loneliness. I do not need a man to make me happy or to take care of me. My life is very happy because I got out of a loveless marriage.
Your statement makes no sense to be but then again, I am very secure in myself.
and they call that...
insurance fraud. If ever found out that you have withheld information, they will cancel your policy anyway. They are like the IRS. They have ways of finding things out. They can check your prescription records and find that docs name if he prescribed something. Once they find out a doc's name, that's it. Sorry to keep contradicting you, but insurance companies are ruthless. They want your money, but they don't want to pay out. If they find just one thing that was concealed from them, that's it. It's all over.
ok, well whatever you want to call him...but I think sm
feeling up a 8 or 9 year old and a 12 or 13 year old is a form of molestation. My mother's stepfather didn't actually rape her until she was 15. But he felt her up from the time he married her mother, when she was 7. My stepfather never did anything like that to me at all. But my creepy neighbor did. He spent a lot of time helping me learn to walk on my hands when I was 11 or 12 - I realized later it was so he could look up my shorts and so when my shirt would flop up, he could see my barely growing boobies. He moved away. Five years later he showed up at my house acting like a crazy maniac, in love with me. they get obsessed with young girls. Call him a scumbag, a pervert, a molester, or whatever. It's wrong.
Call CPS. Everybody knows they
do a terrific job and always show good judgment. Wrong. Oftentimes they yank kids out of stable homes because the enlightened and politically correct think that spanking is barbaric, make a quick phone call, and loving parents who are trying to discipline their children get sent to jail. Beating is one thing and spanking is another. I very much doubt that if the kid pulls the kind of antics you have described that his father is beating him. Also, if the father was beating him, do you think he would have chosen "the stick" over losing hockey? You most probably don't know what you are talking about and you should just butt out. Different people parent differently. Some kids need spanked, some don't. Be thankful that your kid has a disposition such that it is not required. Mind your own business unless you know he is being ABUSED. The trouble you cause could be not easily undone.
Think a bit before you call CPS. You might want
to ask the kid exactly what the "stick" is before you jump to conclusions. He picked it, maybe he can handle it.
My daughter has some friends who have a son. The child, while very young, had a medical condition that was hard to diagnose, resulted in bruising of the body, some failure to thrive, etc. A neighbor thought the child was being abused, called the authorities and because at the time (10 years ago) the couple wasn't as responsible as they are now (some partying, not that great housekeeping) the child was taken away because of neglect. He and his wife were put in jail; once the other prisoners found out why he was in there they literally beat him to a pulp for supposed child abuse. He has plates in his head and face and is on permanent disability. Come to find out the child had some medical condition that was so very rare and caused the bruising and FTT. After about 6 months of a living h*ll, the authorities apologized to this guy and his wife and their child was given back to them.
Get as many facts as you can before making that call.
Call them
If your apartment is individually metered, it probably is something as simple as they read the meter wrong. I had that happen at a job one time and the meter was 1000 and they read it as 10,000. They corrected it quite quickly for me.
This should be something that is fairly easily corrected once you get them on the phone.
I don't think I would call it
So much as I would call it in love with one's spouse...
I do feel that if my husband and I divorced or were otherwise separated, I'd be completely lost, like I were missing a part of my body...a very important part. He is honestly my other half, I know no matter what happens, he will be there. It's wonderful to have someone that you know is coming home to you every day after work. To have someone to hash things out with, bounce ideas off of...and it's even better cause you're both on the same page, wanting the same things out of life.
It's funny cause my husband and I talked about the "what ifs" this weekend...what if we got divorced? what if one of us died? I couldn't imagine living my life without my husband. I love him and wouldn't want to go on without him...
What else would you call them
Making up cutesy little names for body parts is just silly. Especially since we don't do it for other parts of the body like the arms, legs, etc. Tell it like it is. So what if the girls goes up and says I have a vagina or I have a penis, their kids and their learning. Calling it anything else is almost like your hiding it and embarrassed that you have one. As MTs we should not be embarrassed when the word vagina or penis is mentioned.
call the
I would contact cesar milan from that show because he has a whole compound of pit bulls and likes to rescue them.
That 911 call
Umm.... I need some firefighters...
Dispatch: Why? What seems to be the problem?
Unlucky One: Umm.... My 'cat's' up his tree....
you need to call AA
If he is sick enough you could take him to ER and have him request treatment and they can handle it from there.
Al-Anon for your sister since she was raised by an alcoholic and married one, so she is going to need some help adjusting to everything also.
Keep the little kids away from the AA clubs. Really super duper nice people DO NOT attend AA. Don't be too trusting to the eager babysitters you will find there!
If he ever feels better again, healthy, or happy, it will be a miracle, and more than likely he will always be somewhat miserable on some level because of his illness. It can be incredibly difficult to live with someone recovering from addiction because as much as he was "away drinking" physically or emotionally, he will be "away recovering" physically or emotionally.
Her kids are her future and my advice would be to make sure that they have everything they need emotionally and physically and NOT to neglect them because Dad is sick. She should invest as as much as possible in her kids to terminate this cycle, so they grow up healthy and happy and not marry alcoholics or become alcoholics themselves.
Hey hon, you can have one. There are tons of good ones out there looking for a good woman. They ain&
doorstep. Seek and you shall find. So, if you 'really' wanted one, me thinks you would have one...
All good points, good post. (nm)
xx
a good movie with a good lesson
x
Call Waiting
Hi everyone...does anyone know the code to turn off call waiting before making a call? I forget...it's been a while. TIA!
Call me not intelligent
In September I cosigned on an apartment for my niece and her friend. At the time I had been to the ER three times with 102+ temp, then went in the hospital for about 2 weeks (know that is no excuse). I actually do not remember signing the lease and believe me if I had read it I never would have let her sign because it has so any restrictions.. To make a long story short, they have now moved out and the lease says in order to break it, they must pay 893 plus 2 months rent (another 1200 total). Well guess who the sucker is left holding the bill on this one? My niece says she has no money and won't even ask the other girl for her half. Just a warning do not ever cosign anything unless you want to pay in the long run - I either pay or it goes on my credit - anybody have any suggestions or any ideas if I can do anything else without going broke?
Thanks
Phone call of the day ....sm
ME: Hello?
CALLER: Hello, does anyone at your home speak English?
ME: What? Of course I speak English. I was born and raised in the US and speak no other language. Why do you ask?
CALLER: I'm so sorry ma'am. This is Jody with the Police Benevelance fund and we'd like to ask for a contribution for.....
ME (immediately cutting her off): Ma'am, how dare you have the audacity to call my home, ask me if I speak English and then want to ask me for a donation? Donkeys would fly before I'd give your organization a penny as you have now totally insulted me, a bona-fide English speaking American Citizen - one without an accent other than being Southern.
Can you believe it? My husband stood there shaking his head as I let into this lady. It's bad enough to call somewhere and hear "press 1 for English, 2 for Spanish...." but to have someone call you and ask if you speak English is absurd.
PEOPLE WHO CALL ME HON!!!!
That gets soooo under my skin and I realize that people don't mean a thing by it but one day (must have been pms'ing) I went to a convenience store and the gal working was all, "How are you today H O N ???"
Well it was just one too many hons and granted, it was not very tactful on my part either, but my response was, "My day would be a whole lot better if people would not call me hon".
She never did call me that again when I went in there but my guess is she probably had a few choice words for me when I left. :O
call your phone co and ask if they have....
I have privacy director from bellsouth and also am on the donotcall.gov list and phone#. However, I continually get a call with no one speaking from a SEBELL - I looked up SEBELL and it's a telecommunications company that once got into big trouble - with telemarketing - and now it *looks* as though they are back. The only thing I could do with that number was STAR (*) 60 which blocks only 6 telephone numbers via bellsouth.
They may call it the off season,
Was there mid Nov and it was really busy. All fast track tickets gone by noon, didn't get on hardly any rides, waits were 2+ hours for each ride. It was kind of a disappointment for the kids. Had a decent time, but could have been much better. Didn't expect the crowds in Nov.
Do not call list
 There is a national "Do Not Call List" that you can put not only your home land line on but also your cell phone number on. You sign up on-line via the Internet and you remain on the list for 5 years at which time you have to re-enroll your phone numbers. It is not enough to "ask" to be put on the "do not call list" you must go to the national website and sign yourself up. If you are called by a company after you have put your number on the national "do not call list" you can call the Attorney General and the company will be fined $1,500.00. Hope this helps! We have all our numbers on the list home phone/cell phones and our numbers are unlisted as well.
Do not call list
There is a national "Do Not Call List" that you can put not only your home land line on but also your cell phone number on. You sign up on-line via the Internet and you remain on the list for 5 years at which time you have to re-enroll your phone numbers. It is not enough to "ask" to be put on the "do not call list" you must go to the national website and sign yourself up. If you are called by a company after you have put your number on the national "do not call list" you can call the Attorney General and the company will be fined $1,500.00. Hope this helps! We have all our numbers on the list home phone/cell phones and our numbers are unlisted as well.
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