For those of you with teenage boys

• For those of you with teenage boys - ER MT
  • mine are like that too. - anon
    • these boys sound like good husbands. . - jlynn
  • that's very endearing...sm - cat
  • Isn't wonderful to know there are still some wonderful - trose
    • How sweet! And yeah, can't tell anybody - tnmt
    • LOL - ER MT
  • You are blessed! - :)
    • Yep, consider yourself one of the lucky ones! - Hayseed

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Ok, I was out walking this morning and these 2 teenage (middle school) boys starting yelling things at me as I walked by!! At first, I couldn't tell what they were saying or who they were directing it to because I had my headphones on, but after a while I realized they were speaking to me!! One of the boys was saying MOOOO and I couldn't tell what the other one was saying. I just ignored them and kept walking, as I know they were being stupid boys (especially since I'm not overweight), but I would really like some advice or great comebacks to tell these losers the next time they try something like this. Obviously, I would love to just spray them with pepper spray or kick them where it hurts, but I don't want to go to jail :) I really wish all parents would teach their boys how to treat a woman, so things like this wouldn't happen!!!!

By the way, my husband is out of town for another month, so I can't send him over to the bus stop to have a "talk" with them!

1.  Driver's education/training classes if required in a state (ours mandates it) and it's not available as part of the public school curriculum?  The price is $325 for the 40 hour course if taken through one of the state approved places and includes 6 hours of hands-on driving experience and 34 hours of classroom instruction. 

2.  The cost of car insurance and gas?

My husband & I are considering for item #1 having our almost 15-year-old pay for half the course as she does have the money in the bank and makes money babysitting, but haven't totally decided on this.  We know that if we ask her what she thinks about it she'll respond that she wants us to pay for it because she likes to spend her money on music.  We do pay $100 a month for her to have guitar lessons which began this past summer.   For item #2 we do agree that she should pay for the insurance/gas when she gets her permanent license.  Some of the parents in our area pay for this for their kids and others either have them pay all or part of it.  Our rules for driving once she turns 16 is that she will have to keep her grades up to a B average or higher, have a part-time job and if she slacks on either then the keys are taken away.  She isn't involved in extracurricular activities after school so there's no reason why she couldn't work a few hours a week during the school year to cover these costs.   We do have a good dependable car for her to drive (1992 Cougar with low mileage) so at least there's wheels for her to travel on.

What's your opinion?

I don't know if this is too "harsh" for your daughter, but have you thought about showing her the results of drinking and/or driving?  I drank A LOT in high school, starting around 15 when my mom got sick and continued daily drinking through graduation and then some.  Did my fair share of drinking and driving or riding in cars with drivers who drank, thinking that nothing would ever happen.  My sister who was 5 years older than me died from drinking and driving when I was 18, and to "show" me and my teenage cousins the consequences, we went with my uncle to see her car that had not been cleaned after the wreck (nasty, and I still see it to this day which is about 18 years later)...she was in a little 4-door car and fell asleep and drove underneath an 18-wheeler.  That sight was burned into my brain and I never forgot what drinking and driving could do, that we weren't invincible. 

I did hear of a school that was doing "shock presentations" to students, arranging to have 10 or so students missing from classes for the day, then the other students were told that they were killed in accidents from drinking.  While that is a bit extreme, I really think that shock works best on teenagers as I always thought I knew best and that nothing would ever happen. 

By Rob Stein
updated 7:20 a.m. CT, Mon., Dec. 29, 2008
Teenagers who pledge to remain virgins until marriage are just as likely to have premarital sex as those who do not promise abstinence and are significantly less likely to use condoms and other forms of birth control when they do, according to a study released today.

The new analysis of data from a large federal survey found that more than half of youths became sexually active before marriage regardless of whether they had taken a "virginity pledge," but that the percentage who took precautions against pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases was 10 points lower for pledgers than for non-pledgers.

"Taking a pledge doesn't seem to make any difference at all in any sexual behavior," said Janet E. Rosenbaum of the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, whose report appears in the January issue of the journal Pediatrics. "But it does seem to make a difference in condom use and other forms of birth control that is quite striking."

The study is the latest in a series that have raised questions about programs that focus on encouraging abstinence until marriage, including those that specifically ask students to publicly declare their intention to remain virgins. The new analysis, however, goes beyond earlier analyses by focusing on teens who had similar values about sex and other issues before they took a virginity pledge. "Previous studies would compare a mixture of apples and oranges," Rosenbaum said. "I tried to pull out the apples and compare only the apples to other apples."
The findings are reigniting the debate about the effectiveness of abstinence-focused sexual education just as Congress and the new Obama administration are about to reconsider the more than $176 million in annual funding for such programs. "This study again raises the issue of why the federal government is continuing to invest in abstinence-only programs," said Sarah Brown of the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. "What have we gained if we only encourage young people to delay sex until they are older, but then when they do become sexually active — and most do well before marriage — they don't protect themselves or their partners?"
'Get real about sex education' James Wagoner of the advocacy group Advocates for Youth agreed: "The Democratic Congress needs to get its head out of the sand and get real about sex education in America." Proponents of such programs, however, dismissed the study as flawed and argued that programs that focus on abstinence go much further than simply asking youths to make a one-time promise to remain virgins. "It is remarkable that an author who employs rigorous research methodology would then compromise those standards by making wild, ideologically tainted and inaccurate analysis regarding the content of abstinence education programs," said Valerie Huber of the National Abstinence Education Association. Rosenbaum analyzed data collected by the federal government's National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, which gathered detailed information from a representative sample of about 11,000 students in grades seven through 12 in 1995, 1996 and 2001.

Although researchers have analyzed data from that survey before to examine abstinence education programs, the new study is the first to use a more stringent method to account for other factors that could influence the teens' behavior, such as their attitudes about sex before they took the pledge.

100 variables

Rosenbaum focused on about 3,400 students who had not had sex or taken a virginity pledge in 1995. She compared 289 students who were 17 years old on average in 1996, when they took a virginity pledge, with 645 who did not take a pledge but were otherwise similar. She based that judgment on about 100 variables, including their attitudes and their parents' attitudes about sex and their perception of their friends' attitudes about sex and birth control.

"This study came about because somebody who decides to take a virginity pledge tends to be different from the average American teenager. The pledgers tend to be more religious. They tend to be more conservative. They tend to be less positive about sex. There are some striking differences," Rosenbaum said. "So comparing pledgers to all non-pledgers doesn't make a lot of sense."

By 2001, Rosenbaum found, 82 percent of those who had taken a pledge had retracted their promises, and there was no significant difference in the proportion of students in both groups who had engaged in any type of sexual activity, including giving or receiving oral sex, vaginal intercourse, the age at which they first had sex, or their number of sexual partners. More than half of both groups had engaged in various types of sexual activity, had an average of about three sexual partners and had had sex for the first time by age 21 even if they were unmarried.

"It seems that pledgers aren't really internalizing the pledge," Rosenbaum said. "Participating in a program doesn't appear to be motivating them to change their behavior. It seems like abstinence has to come from an individual conviction rather than participating in a program."

'Negative views about condoms'

While there was no difference in the rate of sexually transmitted diseases in the two groups, the percentage of students who reported condom use was about 10 points lower for those who had taken the pledge, and they were about 6 percentage points less likely to use any form of contraception. For example, about 24 percent of those who had taken a pledge said they always used a condom, compared with about 34 percent of those who had not.
Rosenbaum attributed the difference to what youths learn about condoms in abstinence-focused programs.
"There's been a lot of work that has found that teenagers who take part in abstinence-only education have more negative views about condoms," she said. "They tend not to give accurate information about condoms and birth control." But Huber disputed that charge.

"Abstinence education programs provide accurate information on the level of protection offered through the typical use of condoms and contraception," she said. "Students understand that while condoms may reduce the risk of infection and/or pregnancy, they do not remove the risk."

saying the word F**k many times during your conversation does not make you sound cool or grown up.

From the lady who is going to slap you silly

I used to be able to climb trees and did the iron kids triathelon with them....  

My sister had her child at 42....the only girl outta 7 grandchildren....guess who's grandma's princess?      

proven that circumcision can be beneficial for several reasons, not to mention it is more hygienic.  I was conflicted with my first son because my OB/GYN was against it.  She was African-American and I don't know if it was a cultural thing or what.  She did do my son, but she didn't take enough off, it wasn't her decision to make.  My second son I didn't hesitate. 

My mom said that at 8 days she took my brothers to be circumcised - based on the Bible.

I can't see how it would be called abuse.  I think it is personal choice.  I can't tell you how many reports I've done on men over 50 who have had problems and have had to be circumcised. 

Introducing Teddy!  He's a Schipperke mix, only about 20 lb.  He has a tail, which is very cute and curled, but he's hiding it.  I'm new at photographing black dogs, but I think it turned out okay for a first try.  He's already had a bath and flea treatment with Frontline Plus, because we're in the South and he had fleas. 

--- a tattoo.  I told them they could get the airbrush ones at the beach this summer.  They're saving up.  No permanent ones until they're 18 and they can pay for it.

My sister got one in high school and my parents never knew it until years later.  They were still po'ed.  My fear with real tattoos is hepatitis.  Again, if they're going to do it (which we all know they will), better to have it done professionally.

It seems I can take privileges away from my oldest and it works very well.  My younger one, however, doesn't seem to care.  What does bother him is sitting on time-out.  I read a few books and they say the length of the timeout should be equal to the age - 5 years old then 5-minute timeout.  This frustrates him more because he likes to be in control and when I put him on timeout, he has no control.  I usually sit him at the dining room chair - no TV, no toys.  I use the timer on the microwave, so he can hear it when he beeps.  He knows to push the chair in when he gets up.  If he does something shortly thereafter, I double the length of the timeout.  A few times of this and eventually they catch on.

As for harming the dogs, I would probably keep them in a certain area of the house where I could see them.  At least then you know if he's doing something to them and hopefully can stop him before he really hurts them. 

As tempting as it is, name-calling will not teach your child anything but name-calling.  Taunting him with this is probably not a good idea.  If he continues to lie, I would continue to put him on timeout or take away privileges depending on the extent of the lie and the circumstances.

I know it's hard, but consistency is the key.  Eventually, he will learn.  It just takes some kids longer than others.

I have thought the same thing before, about it being only for females, and found that in Australia it is also available for males.  IMHO, promiscuity is certainly not exclusive to males, but I believe it is more common (at least it used to be), so seems like they are the ones that are more culpable for the spreading of HPV.  It's the whole playboy generation gone wild.

Also, just heard a few days ago about HPV being a cause of oral cancer.  Wondered how long it would take them to make the link.

I live in Georgia and had not heard that it is mandatory for females here, but read that most states that are considering mandatory inoculation and have introduced a bill also have an "opt out" clause.

If I had a daughter or daughters, I do not think that I would be rushing out to have them inoculated.

a Hope Chest also?  Watching my kids this Christmas and with one getting ready to graduate high school, I realized they will be starting out with nothing.  I have 2 boys and wondered if a "Hope Chest" would be appropriate. 

What would you include?  (in removing the Christmas Tree this year, I am packing the oldest's ornaments he has collected over the years for him to have on his first Christmas Tree next year).

Bittersweet!

I cannot possible take one more man bashing post on this board.  How is it possible that no one loves or raises, or takes care of an honorable little or big man in their life!

I have met my share of scum bags, truly disgusting human beings that were women and men and find it appalling that one half of our species would be villified to absolve the other of any adult responsibilities or obligations.