For my grandmother, who is still active but
Posted By: trose on 2007-11-02
In Reply to: Little ole ladies, gift suggestions? - Suggestions wanted
on a limited income I give her all occasion cards and stamps. She has told my mother many times what a great help they are to her.
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I was the same age when I became active - sm
and slept with my boyfriend. My mom always thought it was my college boyfriend and I never corrected that assumption. I think I just did it because the hormones were raging more than anything, your daughter is most likely going through the same thing. My mom also asked me to wait until I got married, I told her pointblank that was not going to happen (I was 14 during that conversation but already a horny girl); plus I wanted to live with my future husband to hopefully avoid divorce (so far so good on that, and yes I did live with my DH for about 8 months before we got married). I also went out with plenty of losers. My parents were smart about it, as you appear to be doing, though demanding he get a checkup and HIV test may be a bit too far, plus he will just tell you to jump in a lake probably. From the sounds of it you would not have been happy if the guy was a freshman at Harvard. You knew she'd have sex sometime and assumed she would wait, big mistake. If that is what you did, great, or if you wish you had and did not and regreted it, so be it, you cannot live through your daughter. The only thing I have asked of my kids is to wait until after they graduate high school (that is what I did as the guys had very big mouths and have to brag); now if they don't that is their business and they will have to live with the consequences/rep they get, whatever. I hope they heed my advice but I won't freak out if they don't. As for taking her to the ob/gyn, that is a great idea though. They say to start at about 16 I think anyway, whether or not sexually active. I took myself when I was 17 and still in high school to get on the pill (did not ask parents/mom on that, did it on my own; drove over state lines to do it too). I had the hots for my on and off boyfriend and thought on prom night we'd "do it". Never happened, but that is fine. There is probably a lot she does that you don't know about no matter how close you are. I was very close to my mom but believe me she did not know everything. Eventually she will wise up about the boyfriend, especially if she has plans to do to college. Just try to chill out some and take it easy. Good luck.
Not too much, but I would have been more active.
I've actually done pretty much everything that I've wanted to do to this point. But I wish I had been more active and kept the weight off all along rather than struggling to lose 70 pounds in my 40s. I should have been out riding my bike, hiking on trails, the things I love to do now.
The one thing that I did at age 45, I think I would have done sooner in life. I had a breast reduction and went from a DDD/E cup to a C. Now being active is much easier, because I'm not carrying around the big girls lashed to my shoulders. LOL
Is your hubby active?
What I mean is he involved in outside interests clubs,volunteer ,maybe a hobby? I know a lot of yall here are still working fulltime, but there will come that day when you and hubby will be together all day side by side!! just wish mine would find an outside interest but he finds something wrong with any suggestion so I have quit saying anything he loves to stay at home.
If they are active in their community, then why
are you saying in quotations they are showing the children off? I think this speaks a lot for the way you are feeling towards them or her and it seems to me maybe she loves them and wants to let people know her grandchildren also. As a child I had to go spend time at my great aunt and uncle's house and they did not even have a television, only farm books, absolutely nothing for kids- we were not told we would do cookies. We went and said nothing- we were children but a little bit older than yours now. Why do you not send them a care gift for there, things they might enjoy doing on their own so their grandparents might also get time with them?
My son is 15 and just recently became sexually active... SM
Some of you may remember my posting a few weeks back about him. Anyway, I just found out that he has been having sex with his girlfriend. And get this! She is the same age as him, but was by far not a virgin when they started going together. I have always, always, ALWAYS try to remain calm and encourage my son to talk to me no matter how uncomfortable I may feel. And let me tell you, I feel the same as you -- sick to my stomach. When I found out he was having sex, I felt like someone punched me in the gut! I raised him in church, taught him to wait for marriage for sex, that sex is best shared with someone you are in love with, sex should not be had casually. Didn't matter. Before I found out that he was sexually active, I had the "sex talk" with him again just to reiterate a few of the finer points and I talked about waiting for marriage or at the very least, love. He actually laughed at me and said "mom, I don't know anyone - boy or girl - that is waiting until they get married."
How I found out that my son was having sex was I was going through his room because I had reason to believe he was smoking pot. I found two joints and a box of condoms in one of his dresser drawers. Here's how I handled it. I confronted him with the pot and grounded his behind for a month. He also had to take a drug test which was negative (still baffles me, I guess I caught him before he tried it). With the condoms, I simply said "I'm going to give these back to you because I appreciate the fact that if you are having sex, you are at least being smart about it. Please don't do anything stupid."
I left it at that until I had another opening and then I told him how girls get pregnant sometimes on purpose, sometimes out of ignorance of birth controls. I've talked about STDs and HIV and how not only can unprotected sex will make him a father, a responsibility he is not near ready for, but it can also be an eventual death sentence. Every time we talk and I feel like I have an opening, I talk about safe sex and our moral and religious beliefs on sex.
I figure that is all I can do. I can't follow him around every day, on every date. And the truth is, I didn't wait until I was married. My mom said I would go to heck for having premarital sex and hellfire and eternal damnation didn't stop me from having sex.
The only advice I can give you is meet it head on. Don't act hysterical. Just approach straight-forward. She's having sex. It doesn't matter how you feel about it now. She's having it. Now your best course of action is to make sure she's smart and she protects herself. We live in a world where we have to balance our morality with practicality. It sucks, but that's the way it is.
Anyway, your not alone sister! Little comfort, I know.
If you feel good, like how you look in and out of your clothes, and are active, be
s
My husband is a runner and is very active in his track club.
He drives me a little crazy, because it's nothing for him to run 10-miles for a "simple" workout. But he does a lot with the club by setting up races, some of which benefit charities. And he's very good, by the way. He's finished well in national track meets. He's also the treasurer for our son's boy scout troop. I'm an assistant scoutmaster and do all of the outside stuff with the kids. Hubby HATES camping, hiking, backpacking. But that's the stuff for me! Our interests overlap in a few areas, but there have been times that we even take separate vacations. (Lots of people gasp at that.) But, occasionally, we can combine them. He's running in Maine next year, and I know that there is a river that passes in front of our hotel. I'm bringing my kayak! He can run all he wants! :)
As an active dieter, you officially have my pity! (But you will have a small butt than me).....sm
The salmon cakes sound so yummy, love seafood, I usually make crab cakes, will try the salmon, do you make it essentially the same way? thanks!
I get sad over my grandmother
Always meeting at her home for the special occasions, Christmas, Thanksgiving and the like. The house is still there but not for long as the city/county/state going through to make a road/street/highway? My cousin has been living there since her death in 1973 and I miss her so much but I asked for one of the glass door knobs from the home for a rememberance and he has that waiting for me out of town. I remember how she always bought me exactly what I wanted or needed. She recycled before recycling, always had anything you needed and could put her finger right on it- I guess if I had wanted a white elephant she would have went right to it. I thought I was so special in grammer school because I always had diamond rings, yes, diamond rings that I just picked out of a container she had at her home. Her husband used to be a bondsman and would take them on bonds- but was I special or not?? I was the only girl grandchild and I always thought she loved me more, whether she did or didn’t just felt like she did. Wonderful memories!
Don't know about mom's but he is like this at his grandmother's also.
nm
As a grandmother myself, I would never want to have
6 much less 14 children in my home, I could care less if my own grandchildren. I love my quiet life. If I want a circus I go to Ringling Brothers. This is a grown woman who had this litter- why should a person say in their 50s at least have to put up with her and her brood?
If your grandmother had a will it is
public knowledge and should be probated through the courts. Your recourse if cut out of a will is to go to court for what you think you are due as her granddaughter. I am reading you, your sister and nephew heirs. What about the grandmother's children (as in your parent, mother or father, you did not say which side of the family this g'mother is) and were there other children?
I am the grandmother who replied above
I really gave some thought to all of your postings overnight. Your attitude is concerning on many levels, but I think the most bothersome - at least to me - is your lack of compassion of another human's right to be treated with respect.
There are about 3 million Americans currently caring for 6 million kin-related children they did not give birth to (outside of the foster care system - and, oh how that system would crash if it weren't for kinship care!). The reasons are myriad, complex and simple. I chose to keep my grandchild out of the foster care system and possible horrors that could be experienced there. I chose to keep my grandchild in the family so that even though the parents could not raise the child, she would not be anonymously adopted and I would lose contact with her forever. She has been able to remain within her family. If I had allowed the state to get involved, there are federal time guidelines that are out of my control and only God knows where she would be today. I tell her she is lucky to have two mommies...a tummy mommy (my daughter), and a heart mommy (me). Will she ever go back to her mom? Only time will tell. The phrase "it takes a community to raise a child" was coined from life experiences, not just because it sounded good in a speech someone gave. No matter how I feel about the behavior of her parents, I always tell her they love her. I do not disparage them to her at all. I am blessed that they return that gift by not denigrating me to her, either.
When I was growing up, I lived for a year with my aunt to get away from a bad school situation. A cousin once came to live with my family for the same reason. These things happened 20-plus years ago, so this woman's situation is not a new one.
There are many reasons that cause someone other than a mom or dad to raise someone else's child. Those people should be lifted up and honored and the people who promote the well-being of the child over what society thinks or their own selfish interests should be applauded. It is not demoralizing society for this situation to exist. These people are doing their best to keep the integrity of the society in which they live intact.
I hope you find peace and compassion on a day when you find yourself in need of support.
Reminds me of my grandmother.
She enjoyed green olives. She said if you go to Spain, they sold them from carts on the street, and she would get them and eat them by the handful.
My additions would be certain kinds of ice cream and chocolate. I do enjoy the sour gummy candy much too much. I bet it's at least as bad for your teeth as cola drinks, so I try not to buy that stuff. Can't stop if I have Milk Duds, either.
Remember my grandmother used to at
age 70 something. No pregnancy involved.
grandmother's passing
Try and be at peace. God knows her heart, OK? You're a good person and you deserve to be comforted. As I said, be at peace.
death of grandmother
Truly a horrible turn of events for you. Two deaths of loved ones so close together. Lean on the one who tells us to bring our cares to Him. It is believed by many that it would be limiting God to teach that this life is the only time that God can call a person to Himself. Second resurrection may be the answer. Also preaching to souls in prison, think about why they would need to be preached to, if these were evil spirits, not human spirits, what good would it do to preach to them?God is a God of love and your family members are in His hands.
Re suicide, no sane person can take their own life. no matter how "rational" they make it sound. Those who do kill themselves are not responsible for the sin of murder because they are so sick.
My grandmother did the same thing...
...insisting that her sister and niece, whom I barely knew and my mother didn't care for, be invited to my wedding. Mom caved, they neither showed up nor responded to let us know they weren't coming. Mom still says to this day she wishes she hadn't given in.
Well if it wasn't for this grandmother
There would be no wedding. Grandmothers are the "chiefs" of our tribes so to speak. I hope the best for this young couple, but it sounds like they're being childish. Let the grandmother invite some people, unless their felons. 
mother of 2, grandmother of 1
My hubby and I chose to have only 2. We got a boy and girl. I am now raising my granddaughter. I am hopeful that I can adopt her soon, and that her mom is serious about not having any more kids . I think one is what you said...plenty of work and love!
Let the other grandmother they lavish
calls, visits, hugs, love, etc., etc. go and buy. I have spent so much valuable time going to them so now tired of it all being on my part. I deserve as much as their maternal gmother.
It was very sad when my grandmother died
but she had lived a long good life. It was not a big party by any means, but we were looking at it from the side of she is now in heaven, she is with her husband, and she is no longer suffering any pain. I know there is always sadness and more for some than others. I knew what I wrote was going to be misunderstood. BTW, I am caucasian.
my grandmother has Vista on hers and
I don't like that everything is black instead of blue. I could not find anything i was looking for when i have tried to help her fix her computer. Her printer will not work now and I cannot figure out how to uninstall it. I am having her bring it over tomorrow to see if I can install it on my PC to see if it's the printer or her PC. if you like change you may like vista but it will be a very sad day indeed when I am forced to buy a PC with Vista. Luckily I just had this one built in December and they still had copies of XP to install on it!!!
My grandmother always froze her if she was going away sm
it didn't matter how little was left. She once froze some that couldn't have been more than 2 swallows. She also took napkins and sugar packets from resturants.
my grandmother made them, I think
she would change the water to "lessen the strong flavor" and then made a cheese sauce. Roasted sounds good.
Not a grandmother but parent myself
Well maybe you were a little defensive then and not resentful but reading your post it sounded like the things you do with/for your kids were more like chores instead of things you chose to do. I am not a grandparent but still a parent as both my sons still live at home as they go to college. I see too many people who just leave their kids to fend for themselves, 2-3 nights every week and every weekend during hockey season and other sports seasons...sorry if I offended you but that's the way you came off.
A friend's grandmother
A friend's grandma became obsessed with Polident, the stuff that helps keep your dentures in. She had tubes and tubes of it stashed. Anytime you were going over there and called to ask if she needed anything, the answer was always the same - Polident. LOL, oh well, it was harmless, so who cared? Kind of cute. I hope when I'm old and "losing it" that at least I'm cute and not obscene or mean.
of course they will, but she said her grandmother did apologize.
I just hope for some forgiveness, as well.
My grandmother is dying also
She and I are not exactly close, we live across the country from each other and always have. She was never very nice to my mother so I had a hard time getting close to her. My brother and I are the only family she has left and of the 2 or us I am the only one that keeps in constant contact with her.
When I do talk to her I reminisce. Not about our times together but about when she was younger. She loves to talk about herself.
If this woman feels like talking do that. Or maybe she just feels like listening and you could tell her how much you enjoyed playing her piano and playing with her jewelry. Just let her know she made a difference in your life. You don't have to outright talk about missing her, but I know she will get the message and I am sure it will bring her some comfort.
i lost my grandmother too in almost say way as you are describing sm
this was several years ago. she was 82 and all of a sudden developed pneumonia, which turned into sepsis. i had typed enough reports to know what sepsis meant and her hope was slowly going downhill. she too took a major turn for the worse after about a week in the ICU and nurses talking about her going home in a few days. she was also DNR status. they did, however, give her O2 by mask although i still don't believe it was enough because she was alert and told us she couldn't breathe. they also gave her morphine, which i disagreed with given my research because i read morphine makes lungs fill more with fluid rather than clear the fluid out. when questioning the doc about this, he threw her chart on the floor and said if you disagree with me, find yourself another doctor and walked out! it was horrible! i am not positive, but i do think they gave her antibiotics. we didn't get the chance to bring her home or to hospice though. she did have an IV so maybe there are other guidelines in her DNR/DNI status and her wishes that stated she didn't want them. she remember, she will be in peace soon and be thankful for the times you had with her. although my grandmother was in very good health until her pneumonia took her away from us, i'd rather seen her go like she did than to have a long, drawn out battle with health issues and pain. prayers to you and your family during this trying time for you.
African violets, but my grandmother kept
hers under special fluorescent lights to get them to bloom.
Kalanchoe is another. They sell them even at Walmart I think. They keep them inside.
I'm not an indoor gardener, so I'm not a lot of help, but I'd go to Home Depot and see what they have for inside plants.
your grandmother=wise woman..saying comes from
Woman
was made from the rib of man, she was not created from his head-to top him, nor from his feet-to be stepped upon.
She was made from his side, to be equal to him; from beneath his arm-to be protected by him; near his heart-to be loved by him.
From The Talmud
She said her grandmother and mother were talking...
about her--hardly abuse. I think that if someone raises you, she is allowed a mistake or two--I make them all the time and my son is only 2. Heaven help me if he holds a grudge forever. About domestic violence--violence is bad. I have not responded to that post because I am not sure what to make of it. However, if you post your personal business on this board and do not get the answer you wanted, so what? All of these people will do what they want to do anyway. These are only opinions that are posted and the opinions are only based on the information given, which I am sure are NEVER the entire story.
Honestly, the only part my grandmother
taught me was how to chain stitch. Yes, the blankets i'm making are all chain stitching but that makes them VERY warm and wonderful (and I think last longer). I do have someone at work who said they would teach me how to granny square but i'd like to finish up the current blankets before learning a new stitch.
My grandmother used olive oil for everything, especially for her skin
and when she wanted to give herself a facial, she would combine oatmeal and egg whites - i remember how funny she used to look doing that but that woman had the most beautiful skin. For conditioning her hair, she used mayonnaise that she made herself and to protect her hair during the winter months she used avocado and olive oil - after washing her hair she would as she said ' scoop to goop' onto her hair, wrap it with a warm towel for ten minutes and rinse it out thoroughly. She never ever used soap on her face - she used to tell me and my sisters (there are five of us) that soap is the worst thing for a woman's skin...to clean her face she used cold cream (Jergen's and some other kind I can't recall now) but it worked. As an astringent she used witch hazel with a bit of tea tree oil and for scars which was got a lot being little, after they healed over really well she would have us rub a lemon rind with a teeny bit of lemon on it over our skin - it does fade small scars. I tell you, stuff that grams used worked before all of this fancy schmancy manfactured stuff; and I still use a lot of her ideas to this day..
My aunt, kids grandmother, dads Mom.
Sorry for the confusion.
My grandmother died a couple years ago.
She was not a churchgoing woman but believed in God nonetheless. As we were setting up the funeral arrangements, the pastor asked what Bible verses my grandma would have liked read at the funeral. We told him nothing particular, just whatever he wanted. She wasn't a churchgoer. Well, this Christian pastor took MY GRANDMOTHER'S FUNERAL as an opportunity to tell everyone there that she wasn't going to heaven because she wasn't "born again." I have never been SO MORTIFIED in ALL MY LIFE!!! So, believe me, I have hostility towards Christians who try to "save me" or any of my family.
I am so glad my grandmother's remedy worked for you
I called her my little brown mole- she had a garden and in the summer had such a nice tan. She firmly believed in using the Camphopenique for most everything. I did not remember it being used for mouth sores but learned that within the past year from her daughter, my aunt, when I suffered the same. I glean so much information from my elders- you just cannot beat helpful hints from people who have lived longer than us and seem to know so much. I am glad it helped you!
My grandmother made homemade mac and cheese sm
She died at the age of 93 and I was 27 and I am ashamed to say that I never learned how to make it. She didn't have a receipe. She would also put fried chicken on the stove before church and it would be cooked to perfection by dinnertime. Ask my brother or me what our last meal would be and we both say Mamaw's fried chicken and mac and cheese.
i made a memorial site for my mom for my sister and my grandmother a few years ago. sm
neither were cremated, but mom wanted a memorial. we took a spot in her back yard and made a rose garden out of it. we planted several rose bushes. i got some of those make your own stones from hobby lobby. it is like cement that you pour into the mold. i then wrote in the cement before it dried their names at the bottom and in loving memory of at the top. decorated the stones up with some heart gems. these are in the middle of the rose flower bed. we also got her a covered canopy bench to sit next to it. everyone in the family loves to go there. just FYI there is a rose that is a red and white mixture rose that is called the love rose and this is the very center of our "memorial". i can't recall the name and it was very hard to locate. this was several years ago and the roses are growing pretty than ever.
I love the ambrosia my Grandmother used to make/beautiful pearls one year from DH. nm
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