For holidays in my family-
Posted By: happycamper on 2008-10-31
In Reply to: holiday quandry - can't we all just get along?
My family, which consists of two brothers, two sisters, many nieces and nephews who are all married and have children and my son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter, started several years ago having our Thanksgivng and Christmas holidays on the Saturday before the actual holiday. That way, they can all stay for the day and then spend the actual holiday with the other side of the family. It works out really well. We really enjoy having everyone stay for the day and they don't have to run around on the holiday either.
My husband's family is another story, ugh! We are expected to be there on Thanksgiving day at noon, Christmas eve at 6:00 p.m. for an immediate family Christmas and then Christmas Day with the entire family. In addition, I always work Thanksgiving and Christmas. It makes for an exciting couple of days. They won't change anything...it's family tradition. Whatever!
Good luck with your plans.
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My family decided last year to just enjoy the holidays
We're all adults, no children, and live in small homes or apartments. I NEED tons of stuff, but have no place to put much of anything, and can't afford to reciprocate with a gift. Same with a couple other siblings. My mom's been impossible to buy gifts for, for probably the last 10 years. I was the first to bow out the year before last. I started the ball rolling because I just plain couldn't afford it anymore, and was too busy working all the time to spend hours on end in a department store. I had a new job, no PTO, and NO money, so I alerted everyone that I wasn't going to play the game that year. Turns out it was a relief to all! And last year, without all the holiday 'getting mauled at the mall' disasters, each of us had quiet, happy, stress-free holidays. So now that we've eliminated the gift-giving aspect of Christmas, I finally can look forward to the season and enjoy it again.
Family is great but I am never back in my hometown where family is... So I always have extended fami
You can always pick your friends your stuck with your family. An Xmas for me is where my husband and kids come home to. It is what you make it!
Probably a lot of MTs do that who are alone on the holidays. sm
I live alone, but am not alone, and celebrate with my family. I just get in a few hours before light is up. And maybe some later on in the evening. It works out fine. 24 hours in a day, after all.
As far as holidays go
I don't have a problem with kids being taught about different beliefs, but don't take down Christmas decorations, just add some for the other religions. Before I get blasted - this is way I feel this way:
When I was in elementary school, my best friend was Jewish. At Christmas, when she didn't participate in gift-giving, etc., it was awful for her. The kids used to tell me "don't play with her, she's weird". And when we were all singing Christmas carols, she would be in the corner doing her own thing. How awful that must've been for her!!! I don't see why my teacher shouldn't have been able to let my friend tell everyone about how she celebrates. Again, I know some don't agree, but my little friend's face when she was left out is forever burned into my memory!
Holidays
My family is spread across three different states so it is very rare that we get together for the holidays. Most holidays are spent with my husband's family which is absolutely fine because they are wonderful people who make each and every holiday a special one.
Honestly, this year, I am not worried about spend, spend, spend so much as being grateful for what we have this year as 2008 has brought a lot of lessons and blessings into our lives. I will be making homemade gifts for family vs. buying expensive presents. It is the thought that counts after all.
Holidays
I too am dreading the holidays this year, especially Thanksgiving. My son committed suicide last year the Sunday after Thanksgiving. I want to do something different this year than last. My mom wants to go out to eat and my boyfriend wants to cook at home. I can never make them both happy. Christmas will be a challenge too as my boyfriend is laid off. Luckily, my family is small so there aren't a lot of gifts to buy.
Summer. Friends or family? Family. Tired or Awake?
x
working holidays.
I am working Thanksgiving, schedule just fell that way. As far as Christmas goes, I'm am also scheduled to work, didn't request it off, but I work 3rd shift. I did request to work Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve to have a couple of days off for my brother's wedding that is 12/30. Working holidays doesn't bother me too much since I'm 3rd shift, but I could see how it would be a pain for those who are required to work and work days or 2nd.
working holidays
I'm right there with ya! Love that holiday pay! lol
Sadness at the holidays sm
Hi, tried E-mailing you but they would not accept it. I have had horrible Christmas stories such as yours, with parents, a younger sister dying and a dear pet who got killed on New Years Eve. One New Years my husband was in a horrible accident and I had to care for him at home in a hospital bed, then 2 mos. later my trusted surgeon diagnosed me with breast cancer. I am not a born again (although there's nothing wrong with that) but I do believe in prayer and that when you're this low only a higher power or spirituality can get you out of it. You can't do it alone. Just venting on the board should help you. Just know that others have walked in your shoes and relate to you and hopefully are praying for you as they read your post. Believe me, although all looks pretty bleak right now, you will come out of this and things will get better. My thoughts and prayers are with you this day. I had a horrible day yesterday. One of my DIL's has been giving me a hard time for 20 years and she did it again to me and is coming tonight. I went to church alone last evening and prayed for the grace to get through this evening. I lit a candle and prayed to St. Jude (the patron St. of the impossible, I believe). I am not angry anymore and I know I can face her with dignity and strength, no matter what else she does to me. She's a bully and I feel sorry for her, that she can't see how bad she is. I know I'm going to be okay. Your situation is different, I know, I lost my younger sister to cancer, the Christmas was awful knowing she was dying. My Dad also was on Hospice at Christmas and my whole family was fighting. But I'm here this morning writing to you and praying that you will find the strength to get through it all. "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and that's the truth! All my best, and a prayer from my lips to God's ears for you, your family and your pet (I love animals)! God bless you. Still kicking and well - 6 years out, docs scratching their heads - ? misdiagnosed).  There is something greater than ourselves out there - just ask for strength - you'll get it, you'll see!
Man-made holidays...
but you are all so quick to forget that the Bible from which you quote from was in fact man made as well.
And if we are to only quote by the Bible as to what rules to follow to get into Heaven, you exclude a ton of other religions who believe they will get into Heaven or where ever based upon their man-made books as well!
Is the Bible the only true verse? If so, then Christians are the ONLY true believers and will be the only ones to get into Heaven. Bull...
Like I always said though, whatever floats your boat.
Me personally, I do not want anyone in my room preaching to me on my death bed unless I personally asked them to do so.
You mean the glitz is only for the holidays?
Gosh, I have sweaters and blouses I wear some of them year round and they have the bling aspect. I love it.
celebrate the holidays!
You are a very mature, thoughtful person. Just enjoy the holidays and if he is as mature as you are, it should not matter. Go celebrate!
upcoming holidays
Does anyone get stressed out and/or depressed during the holidays? I am already starting to feel down because of finances and the stress Christmas puts on us to spend spend spend, and also just family issues. I never had a Hallmark family, that's for sure. The whole thing is kind of depressing to me.
Holidays - Bah humbug!
I have nice holiday memories. My mom was not the Martha Stewart type but they were filled with lots of food, friends, and family. Very happy times. This will be the first year that I cannot go home for the holidays. We will still spend it with my husband's family but it is not the same for me.
I am also stressing about the holidays because his family is all about the presents and I grew up differently. His family says they are cutting back this year but I wonder what that means. To them, it is probably only $500 per person. I know its the thought that counts and you should only do what you can but I still feel bad and guilty if we cannot do for everyone else. I have suggested putting a limit or drawing names or making gifts to exchange but they look at me like I speak a foreign language.
This is the first year my husband and I will not exchange gifts for each other and our son won't get much either. To top off the financial crisis facing the entire nation, we are also expecting a child in the very early spring so that has added to our expenses and dipping into our savings.
For me this winter came very quickly as well which does not help. I haven't had time to ease into my least favorite season. It's been so gloomy the last few weeks I am glad that I don't have to leave the house to work but know I should leave the house occasionally to feel better. I just want to be a scrooge right now. Soon enough I'll have to put on the happy thanksgiving face to spend the afternoon with my in-laws while missing my family.
Birthdays with holidays.
Sometimes I like that the birthdays are around the holidays because then I can buy extra stuff and look at it all and decide how to split it up between the 2. Other times, like this year, we don't have much $ so I would really prefer them to be separated more but can choose that one!
My husband normally leaves the lights on all night. Turn on when he gets home from work and off in the morning...not this year. I think its reasonable to just do a few hours each evening. I don't think we'll put up as many as we normally do either. Usually we line all the windows, roof, bushes, etc. Probably keep it simple this year.
Holidays are hard
My parents were divorced so my sister and I spent many years shuffling between two houses. When we each got married and had our own families the situation got even more complex. My parents are now deceased and my sister and I are estranged (even though we live in the same town), so in some ways life has gotten simpler. I still get very emotional and depressed around the holidays because of my dysfunctional childhood and negative expectations, but I don't have as much guilt and stress anymore.
My husband's parents and family are back in our hometown 600 miles away, and for the last few years he's gone back there for Thanksgiving and/or Christmas with our youngest child. I don't begrudge him that because his folks are elderly and I don't want him to have any regrets later. I can't go with him because we have a lot of animals to take care of, and frankly, I'm really comfortable just hanging out at home with them anyway. We have adult kids too, and two grandchildren, and I encourage all of them to live their lives without the burden of guilt and feelings of obligation. If they can come by and have dinner or visit that's great, and if not BIG DEAL. Honestly, it's just a day. Things got easier for us when we realized we didn't necessarily have to celebrate a holiday on the exact day it was scheduled.
I really understand your not wanting to let your mom down, and I would feel the same way. Your husband is a big boy and has made a choice, so that's on him, not you. He's probably being a bit immature and stubborn on this one. I hope you'll extend the invitation to your husband one more time, then go to your mom's and enjoy yourself whether he comes along or not.
Did you go into debt over the holidays?
C'mon, fess up!
Did you use credit to buy things for the holidays, or did you pay in cash?
I'm happy to report that for the 13th year, we paid in cash.
We clerical help to them. Yes I work holidays, sm
because I enjoy and count on the holiday pay. But I NEVER make the mistake of thinking that I am really a part of patient care, or my immediate turn around of a document is that important. It is important to the bottom line of the company, but not to patient care. There is absolutely nothing I produce, even in producing documentation of trauma or critical care, that has anything more to do with anything other than company profits. I come to believe this when I get reports, simple discharge summares, on patient who were discharged months ago, and the doctors mark it as a "Stat". LOL. ok. If you think you are that important, then you have been conned.
I never work on major holidays...
because I work for a small company that closes for all major holidays. I've been with them for almost 2 years now and they are definitely one of the best! They even send me a Christmas gift every year! I would never sign up to work for a company that was open on holidays, as I have no desire to work on holidays.
Since when do men deal with all the details of holidays and
x
With the holidays fast approaching...
I am wondering how your kids found out about Santa. My son has never led us to believe he doesn't believe, although we have wondered since he is in middle school now. I found out that he told a young cousin about the truths of Santa, E. Bunny, etc. My husband and I feel like we should approach him about this, not with the intent of being in trouble, but just to let him know that he shouldn't spoil it for the younger kids. Under the circumstances, I think he said it to be spiteful because he didn't want to go to bed for the tooth fairy to come.
I know as a child I was afraid that the holidays would cease to exist if they found out that I (the youngest) knew the truth. It was my older sibling who finally talked me into spilling the beans so no one had to get up early in the morning. I wonder if it may be a similar circumstance. Normally he is very open and honest with us and asks questions and discusses things that most other kids would find embarrasing, etc. He is a very good kid and I was very surprised to find out that he did this.
Big difference between family values and family jewels, eh? lol
LOL. I love this show. I think Gene and Shannon and her sister are a riot! What characters. It really is amazing to me the kids seem so laid back and so normal. They seem like great kids.
Does your family still do the early Sunday dinner w/family?
s
Not only around Christmas but other holidays as well. Things that can't be explained any other w
nm
Nah - it's not you. Many people are "crabby" and unpleasant around the holidays!
Just think, you probably put a smile on their face when they opened that card. Just because they don't smile at you, does not mean you did not touch them in some meaningful way.
Feel good about yourself, you did a great thing.
Some people find the holiday season very difficult to get through, either depressed, loss of a loved one, and so on. Some do not even realize they are "crabby".
It is just like when you go Christmas shopping and everyone you meet in the mall or store are in a hurry, bump into you without even saying "excuse me" and just plain ole miserable.
Just keep smiling and being your happy self. Don't worry too much about it.
Happy Holidays to you! Here's a hug :-)
i'm athiest and I agree. Christian holidays have been
easter bunny, santa claus. It almost seems like businesses are exploiting your beliefs by pressuring you into buy bigger, buy more for your family than you did last year.
I like it cold for the holidays. Was in Florida last week and...sm
it just did not feel like Christmastime (temps in the 70s--not that I was complaining). However, I wish the temps here in WA State would get above freezing so that I can get my Christmas/birthday shopping done. Some roads are still a sheet of ice. Your 40-50 degrees sound perfect to me.
I am betting the good MTs make a lot more than you do, with paid holidays, too.
x
See why working at home, and even covering some hours of holidays is better than inhouse?
We aren't able to keep track of the other office workers, build up resentment against them. Love that inhouse stuff.
SIL family, us and another family snacked,played
x
Doesn't offend me to hear Happy Holidays, Happy Hannuka...sm
or any way someone wants to greet me. As a basic rule, people use the greeting most comfortable to the speaker. What does burn my butt is when someone tries to tell me that my comfortable greeting of "Merry Christmas" is not appropriate. To those who are not concerned with my comfort, I have no concern for theirs.
Merry Christmas to all.
Home Alone 1, A Christmas Story, Home for the Holidays, Chevy Chase's Christmas, sm
There "The Gift of the Magi," He sells his gold watch to buy her a comb for her hair and she sells her beautiful long hair to buy him a chain for his gold watch. It used to be on "Short Stories by O'Henry" but that's long gone, long ago. Good moral to the story. I can't stand "It's a Wonderful Life" -- too depressing, especially with banks closing, too intimidating right now!!!
family
No she did not have Daniel throughout his whole life but there were times when he shouldn't have been with her but her mother would not take him without money. She was living in a motel with a bfriend and Daniel. She was broke and it was not pretty she had some really rough times and she was not always the "playboy" girl she worked in some really raunchy clubs.
I dont know about a brother but it has been a long long time age I do remember meeting a "sister" once and lots of different "boyfriends". There was always someone with their hand out.
I give her mother the benefit of the doubt but look at how things are going and what her mother is doing. There have been lots of back and forths in Vergie and Nicki's relationship and none of it has EVER appeared loving. Nicki was not innocent but I think she grew up and moved on with her life and her mother still wants to talk about her little Vicki.
No one is perfect not me, not you neither was Nicki, but her past was her past and she needs to be laid to rest, she went to extremes to establish her wishes let her be. Nicki is gone but the baby is here and needs to be sheltered from all this hoopla!!!
when it is a family, the family tends to think
since an addition is being made to a family during pregnancy, a lot of families see themselves as pregnant - as one - as a whole unit...nothing wrong with it - actually makes the entire family participate in it, which is a GREAT thing............not like the men of the 1950s who went to work and the moms did absolutely everything else....I like men/families who WANT to take part and be involved.
Old fashioned or not - I prefer the way the men participate today in all of it..........makes for better communication and all know what's going on in the family....
FYI to all, keep your old fashioned minds open because a closed mind will make you old WAY before your time.
There are 4 in our family and we each sm
get to pick one definite thing to do. My hubby says that is his pick. LOL
All the best for you and your family and keep..sm
 Keep us posted here - I will remember your *handle* countrymt and will be on the lookout for your posts!!!
I have family down there
My husband is originally from Boston, and we go down about once a month or so for a few days to visit his parents, brother, etc. It's kind of like a second home for me!
Family
My heart goes out to you, as I too understand that kind of pain from family. Just know that it is not you that is causing this rift. It is your brother, not his wife even though it is obvious that she is doing the manipulating. Your brother should not be able to be manipulated so easily by his wife's insecurities and jealousy of your relationship. Unfortunately in life, and in families perceptions get screwed up with time, and distance, and if one does not hold true to their fondness of one another, or respect or what I call the family gene that holds a family together through thick or thin, then there is nothing you can do about this situation. He obviously cannot hold true to his feelings for you because of his wife's insecurities. Just let things be and don't become bitter or begin to cut yourself off. Sometimes things change down the road for the better.
re: family
Yes it is sad that the family unit is being seen less and less. Yes self control is a responsibility....but that comes from the Lord...that is a fruit of the Spirit...so what I'm saying is it is our sin nature to stray and we will be held accountable for that sin...the only way to be forgiven for it is to ask Jesus for forgiveness and accept Him as our Saviour...don't know if I'm wording this correctly....
I pray that you get what I'm trying to say that we all need Jesus...I pray that I worded correctly...
Yes, my family sm
DH and my mom didn't get along well (although she was quite controlling and wanting to run our lives after we got married, and I do understand where he was coming from). Eleven years ago we moved 300 miles away. Now I see my mom and other relatives only very occasionally. Luckily she can come see us once in a while. I have to beg DH to go there, and my vision is so bad I can't drive it myself.
I haven't been "home" in 2-1/2 years this time. And yeah, I regret it.
I miss my mom, my family and my friends. But DH is never gonna change, and I have 3 kids, and I'm stuck. :(
My family went to while once and after just
10 seconds inside my DD backed out. My DH valiantly stayed with her while I went through with DS. I asked before hand to make sure they could not touch me...that is my biggest fear also. They told me there was defintely a "No Touch Rule". My DH and DD told the guy at the front my name so I heard all through house my name being repeated in a very spooky voice. One "monster" did come right up to me and I just kept saying "no touch rule, no touch rule, no touch rule". He stuck to the rules and I did feel better after that. Needless to say DS loved every minute of it.
To you and your family
My heart goes out to you and all the people in CA dealing with this horrendous threat. In the national news this a.m. (Wednesday) they stated conditions are improving in order for the firefighters to try to get in and attack these monstrous fires. Best of luck to you all. Keep us posted, if at all possible.
I have family there and know quite a bit about it. sm
Anything specific, such as area? Jobs?
family
Hey, Hayseed - You can adopt our family. We have enough of this kind of stuff going on, we can keep you feeling "loved" for the rest of your life! Seriously, have great nieces and nephew who desparately need to be loved. Your're welcome any time.
Here's what we do in our family....
I work 2 jobs, my husband and son scrap for extra money. They go out the night before garbage day, or the morning of. We have a flat trailer that has different buckets on it and they sort everything they find. They have break down the big stuff into its components and smaller pieces. You would be amazed at what the scrap yards will take and how much they pay.
For my family
It has had an effect on some with job loss and problems finding a new job. Luckily for me and my hubs we have been able to hold ours. Gas prices are outrageous as well as groceries, I have noticed the same as you. We live in an area where you have to drive quite a distance for any work - hence my decision to work at home in transcription and take a paycut. Had I known nearly 10 years ago that it would cost so much in gas we wouldn't be living where we do...but that's hindsight and nothing I can do about that now. We have talked about selling our house and moving but that seems like a lost cause. Working at home has definitely payed
off as every time gas prices go up, in a roundabout way I feel like I have gotten a raise.
I am buying generic more often and we have cut back on junk food. No chips, ice cream, soda, anything. We just can't afford it. If I'm going to spend the money I want to spend it knowing we are getting nutrition packed in.
we also grew a garden this summer to help cut back on produce costs.
Very much like my family - 2 each + 1 together sm
My biological mom moved out of state when I was in 3rd grade, and my stepmom's first husband had died in a car accident. Plus my sister and stepbrother are less than 2 months' apart in age, which mostly didn't get noticed because she moved out of state with my mom while I stayed with my dad. The only thing that caused confusion was that my stepsister and I have almost identical names (similar first name, same middle name, last name with same first initial), and the oldest 4 of us all have names starting with M. When my brother was born, they gave him name starting with J 
my family has quite a few ...
some others below posted a couple we do - peanut butter and banana ( which I have decided to save for when I'm toothless :D ) and peanut butter and dill pickles, but I prefer it on toast, lotsa crunch!
My grandfather liked peanut butter with thick slices of walla walla sweet onions and put enough garlic powder on the peanut butter you couldn't see it's color. When I was little he told me one time it's why he never got sick, I said sure, nobody will get close enough to give you their germs!
My mom loves to put ketchup on just about anything, especially scrambled eggs. She also used to buy the cans of Campbell's bean with bacon condensed soup and make a sandwich with it, with ketchup, of course!
My brother was/is addicted to salt. We used to find the salt shaker hidden in his room where the top was all crusted over from licking it to eat the salt. :P
gotta admit my family is weird to say the least! lol
I'm so sorry for you and your family
Losing a pet is always so hard. Sending your whole family love and hugs.
family
I find it interesting that when a young woman posted that her mother and grandmother were abusing her, no one felt sorry for her. Everyone one told her to forgive and forget. I also find it interesting how judgemental everyone was about who was the victim. That the grandmother and the mother were the victim and not the daughter. It seems ironic given the long, long, long, posts on domestic violence this morning.
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