For a child to be allowed to call a g'mother a ..itch

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It may very well be that it is just a little kid is mad and one of those things that are very normal for kids this age to do. You know, my dad's gonna beat up your dad kind of thing. However, the parents need to know that their daughter is threatening violence towards your daughter and using dad as her back up. He may not even own a gun, who knows? I would just politely explain the situation to them and let them know you wanted to work with them so it wouldn't get blown out of proportion at school. If she is just acting in the typical manner, the school still won't see it that way because of so many shootings, and this may cause even more trouble for your family and Maya's. Don't know if you have this in your area, but our schools have the safe schools act, and it is a zero tolerance policy. Statements like that here have gotten kids expelled from school, and they were not allowed back into the public system until an extensive interview with the school administration and psychiatrist and a lot of paper work. Then the discipline is all on their record, even infractions that ended up as no threat.

11 years old is much too young to be home alone all day, much less with a younger sibling. Even 13 years old is pushing it. Alone, maybe. With a younger sibling, absolutely not.

If it were me, I would call Child Protective Services. You might wait a couple of weeks after the incident you mentioned so it won't be totally obvious that you are the one who called. But this is a bad situation and it is not going to get any better unless someone does something about it.

We have been married for 10 years. Lately when he gets mad I am reduced to being called a *itch. When we don't make love, it is because I don't want him. Does not matter what I might do, not cook for him, not turn on the heater this morning when I am supposed to be working.

I am an MT working at home. I have to work a schedule, which I fail to do, so I have to be more stern about what I can and cannot do because I want my job. Being called a *itch---what does that really mean. I do not view myself as a *itch but then no one does. I have read that it is a woman who is extremely disliked, spiteful, overbearing, and I am reduced to this name calling because it is something he wants to call me only because I did not do what he wanted and it made him mad.

He says that he is not in the mental state he should be regarding me working as at home as it is --just not working-- Yes, for years it seems I always work as I try to be with the family and as a result I get behind and have to work every spare moment I get and even then do not make my commitment. Okay, I do get fatigued, maybe depressed, but I love working at home and I know that I have to stick to my schedule. maybe 70% of that is my fault but a lot is from him as well wanting me to do things for him that he can do for himself. like wash his clothes for work, sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't.

Well the reason for all that is to ask.... does my husband really hate me so much to call me a *itch. What really does he mean? I am not overbearing. I let him do whatever he wants. He did not have to work for years. Now he finally gets a job and he is all high and mighty about me and what I do and don't do. He can improve on things just as much as I can. does that mean you have to yell, scream, rant, and rave because he don't get his way.

He says the way to a man's heart is his stomach. Yeah, I have heard all that but does that mean you have to take it so literal. If we don't make love, it is because I don't want him and then he throws a big hissy. I am a man. My testerone levels get too high! he start punching the wall! okay, maybe we don't have time, maybe I am trying to get caught up on work and trying to balance all things, cooking, cleaning, being with my 1 child and husband and work.

Yes, I am reduced to yelling right back at him. Everyday I think I am not going to yell, but I do anyway.

Sorry, any advice. I feel we havea shallow relationship now. He gets mad and then I am a *itch. I try to get along with him and watch our shows together, then, later I get yelled at because I made time to watch TV. We make love, I think we are getting closer, and something else sets him off. I realize we have deep issues we have to work out, but I also think getting mad making the other person miserable is not the answer.

Apparently, it's just sitting there. He's not teaching from it.

A Mount Vernon science teacher said yesterday that he will refuse to remove a Bible from his classroom desk, despite his school district's order.

"Thousands of citizens in this community have built their lives on deeply held religious convictions, and it is for them that I stand today," John Freshwater, 51, who teaches at Mount Vernon Middle School, said in a news release.

The religious activist Dave Daubenmire, Freshwater's friend, acted as his spokesman yesterday. "This is not a religion issue; this is a free-speech issue," Daubenmire said. "He didn't take the Bible to read to anybody."

Mount Vernon Superintendent Steve Short said Freshwater's characterization of the events leading to the district order that he remove religious items from his classroom was "not entirely accurate," but Short wouldn't elaborate.

The district later released a one-paragraph statement saying that district officials don't oppose religion but are required "under the First Amendment of the United States Constitution to protect against the establishment of religion in the schools. As a public school system the district cannot teach, promote or favor any religion or religious beliefs."

Freshwater and Daubenmire believe that separation of church and state "is a fraud" and that the framers of the Constitution never intended it to be practiced the way it is today, Daubenmire said.

The district asked Freshwater last week to remove the Ten Commandments from the door to his classroom and remove the Bible from the view of students. About 3,900 students attend Mount Vernon schools. Mount Vernon is about 52 miles northeast of Columbus.

Freshwater took down the Ten Commandments but decided that being prevented from taking a Bible into the classroom was going too far.

In the past, Freshwater has taught his students about the "holes in evolution" and intelligent design, the theory that a supernatural power created complex forms of life, Daubenmire said.

"Would our government ask a follower of Islam to remove her burqa in order to teach school?" Freshwater said in his written statement. "Would we ask a science teacher to remove The Origin of Species from his desk merely because the origin of man has never been proven?

"I cannot with a clear conscience follow a directive that makes religion and the religious viewpoint any less credible by those who deem themselves more enlightened."

Freshwater wouldn't answer questions directly because of the likelihood he will file a lawsuit charging "viewpoint discrimination," Daubenmire said.

Daubenmire is the former London High School football coach whose district was sued in 1999 by the American Civil Liberties Union because he led his players in prayer at games, practices and meetings. The district settled out of court, and its insurance company paid the ACLU $18,000 for court costs.

Pit bulls are either not allowed in Miami-Dade County in Florida but I heard something about having $600,000 insurance if you own one.....but that COULD be Broward County where they are allowed. I'm in Miami.

March 14, 2007� Dozens packed the Belmont (California) city council chambers tonight for the first public airing of a new smoking ban proposal.

The law would give Belmont the toughest smoking ban in the nation � possibly in the world.

The crackdown aims to curb the harmful effects of second-hand smoke by preventing puffs not just in parks and around public buildings � but in private apartments and city streets as well. If the law passes, the only places left in Belmont to smoke would be single family homes and private cars.

Mayor Coralin Feierbach says the proposal was made to protect residents who suffer from health problems aggravated by smoke.The council didn't take action tonight. It's just the first of several meetings to discuss the proposal.

Like your son, it started in infancy. He could throw a fit that could go on for 30 minutes. If it was related to going to sleep, he would cry for hours no matter what I tried. (Yes, i did have him ruled out for medical causes.) He just could not calm himself down and he wanted what he wanted when he wanted it. It started to feel like a war zone and the other kids were not getting the attention they needed because I felt like I had to deal with his bad behavior all the time.

When he was very young (infancy to about 3 years old), I would let him throw his fits and try to ignore them. After about 30 minutes, I picked him up and rocked him and he always seemed to be relieved and would start to calm down. I did not give into his demands. It just was a way for him to know that I loved him even when he acted bad.

But you know what... A few months ago (he is 5 now), he was acting up yet again and I tried to talk to him. I told him that I knew he was a good boy and that he was just having a hard time with his anger. He was totally blown away that I thought he was a "good boy." In his head, he thought he was bad. This was an eye opener for me.

Because I had my own issues with frustration, I decided to work on me first. I was sick of the war zone. That is still a work in progress, but I feel a lot more calm when dealing with him now.

I explain things to him up front. If we are going to a store, I tell him that I expect him to stand still by me. If he wants to look at something, he can ask me, etc. Then I ask him what he thinks the consequence will be if he does not mind. Sometimes he answers, sometimes not. Then, I tell him exactly what will happen. No favorite TV channel or no playing with a favorite toy, something like that. Just so he knew exactly what would happen if he makes certain CHOICES. I also don't argue. It only gets me wound up. I put the onus back on him. Counting 1...2...3 gives him a warning to change his behavior or deal with consequences.

I also communicate a lot about other's people reactions to when he "acts good" and "acts bad." How the things that happen to him are often influenced by his CHOICES. "Other children may not want to play with someone who ...only wants their way ... does not share ... hits." "If you share your toy, your friend probably want to share his toys with you."

I praise him when I notice he has done something "good", like brushing his teeth without being reminded. I tell how much I appreciate it (Because I do. When you have 3 kids, its a really help when they can do something for themselves.

) Someone knowledgeable told me the ratio of praise to discipline is 4:1. I doubt that I hit that ratio, but I do look for things my kids do right.

None of this is easy for me. I feel like I am talking myself blue in the face. I am naturally quiet and not always willing to communicate verbally. I'm praying the more I communicate now, then eventually I won't have to talk so much later. Or at least, we can talk about more pleasant things.

I will say though that my son is starting to understand that he will not always get his way, and if he cooperates with me, I am willing to cooperate with him. There has been good improvement since I started with this in April.