Follow your instincts
Posted By: TTMT on 2007-07-24
In Reply to: I need a view from the outside - TLR
I had this happen years ago with my brother. I tried to make him realize I didn't do what he thought, but he wouldn't budge. I chalk it up as a lesson learned in life, you can't make another person think or believe anything they don't want to. If I dwell on it, it still burns me up, so I try to leave it behind. Anyway, trust your instincts, they will never let you down.
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You have to follow your instincts and
A therapist ideally really should be able to adjust their style to the needs of the client. In the end, what matters is are you making progress? ... is she helping you address the issues you came to her with in a way that is meaningful to you? ... and is she challenging you emotionally? It reminds me of the movie, Girl Interrupted, where Angelina Jolie's character is lamenting that nobody cared enough to push her buttons. It's one thing to be a friend who is supportive and accepting of one as they already are. It's another to not care enough to "push the right buttons" to help someone challenge their shortcomings.
It sounds like you have examined this relationship and find it lacking. There is no shame in telling someone, even a therapist, that you are not getting out the relationship as much as you are putting into it (in this instance, a lot of money). At least you can say learning to trust your instincts is one thing you did get out of the relationship.
Use your motherly instincts and keep
your child safe. I live in Georgia and we hear of so many accidents involving children and ATVs. No one can replace your child if something should happen. You know what to do.
Use your motherly instincts
You have a right to have normal motherly instincts, and I think you know what those are with regard to this situation. A 4-wheeler is not safe enough for a child of that age, and your MIL should know that. Even adults have been killed in accidents with these vehicles, even when they are driven safely, but too much can happen. There is no real protection for children on these vehicles, and she can easily be thrown from one. Just think, you put your child in a safety restraint seat in your car for a reason, these vehicles have no protection, and she is not old enough to protect herself should something go wrong, so definitely I would not even think about putting a child on something like this.
Just tell your MIL the same things I have told you politely. If she puts up a fuss, just ignore her and think about the safety of your child first. My daughter lives on a farm and would not even let my grandson set foot on one of these until he was over 8.
Trust your instincts. nm
xx
You were surprised she got it? A cat's instincts for birds, especially, are sm
great. They keep their eyes on it and it's over. Especially a young one. So sad. I hate the circle of life. All of our goats were attacked and killed by neighborhood dogs a few weeks ago and people are telling me, "Oh well, that's what dogs do!" I wanted to slap them.
Thanks so much! I went and got Clairol natural instincts
sunflower medium golden blonde - the one that washes out after 28 shampoos and doesn't lift or lighten because I was a little afraid to try that right now. I will tell you it straightened this mess right up! At least now all of the highlights appear the same color and are more golden, it is just overall darker than I would like but still much more flattering than what I had. When this starts to wash out I will go to Sally's and maybe try an overall lighter color as you suggest. Hopefully when all is said and done I won't even have to go to the salons anymore for color and pay them hundreds of dollars for a lousy job. I am a little annoyed because I did put out over $200 between the highlights and cut and tip but I guess I'll get over it :(
Thank you to all who helped! I feel so much better! I really am thankful for this board!
My instincts are telling me you're right (sm)
He seems so genuine and grateful and tells me how much he loves me all the time...but I have a feeling that when I wasn't coming through with cash he found someone else who would. I know he really does "need" the money, but I guess he will get it however he can.
Follow up to the above
Parvo causes the mucus, blood and also weight loss that you are describing. Once I found out what was in my yard, it seemed like it never went away. Years later I had forgotten and hubs brought home another puppy and put in the backyard. The same thing happened. If not treated in a yard, seems like it just stays on. Older dogs seem not to have problem because I guess their immunity built up. I hope you get to a veterinarian as soon as possible because it does kill if not treated.
I can't follow this for the
Follow up
I guess my first question would be, who made the decision to have the sleepover? Obviously you allowed your son to have the boy over -- did you talk to the mother about the arrangements? What if something had happened, i.e., a medical condition and you needed to contact the parents? Sounds to me like you were "duped into being a free babysitter for that kid" (and not sure if they had others who might have been farmed out) but the parents were totally irresponsible, but you have to take part of the blame as well for not checking into things more thorougly -- I think that if the parents had not answered a home line or a cell line and NOT called back within a hour or 2 I would have been on the phone to the authorities -- when are parents going to learn that these are innocent, sweet, children and something like this can leave emotional scars for a very long time
Follow up on this cat stuff
I just got back from the store and bought some hairball control dry cat food. The older cat I spoke about drinks water so no problem there. I got the dry as well as several cans of wet hairball control so probably will mix a little of the wet with dry to start out with. I also bought glove to run over the cat and get rid of some of the excessive fur. This is not a common shedding as she has had for sometime, surprised she has any left. I have hairball gel that I could give them in addition to this. Thanks for the insight!
mammogram-follow up
I was diagnosed and beat breast cancer after a very caring radiologist kept taking additional views. I go back next month for my first mammogram, kind of scared, but I'm stronger now, so off I will go. That was an excellent post. I wish more people would get checked and be faithful with following. Have a wonderful day.
It may not but people who follow it will
We are not intimidated by the Bible. We are just sick of the people who think they are more rightous than others becase they wear their religion on their sleeves while they cram down our throats that they are better than us. If it gives a man comfort, then he will receive the same comfort if that bible is in his posession but not for all the world to see. How can you be sick of Christians always being in the wrong when they are given more rights than people of other faiths. If you want to talk about people being wronged out of their religion being able to be openly observed you should consider what the Wiccans have to go through. And for pitty's sake I'm sick of hearing how we are taking "Him" out of everything. Your not the first to say it, I've heard it before and its absolutely untrue.
I definitely did not follow the crowd - sm
I was basically a "good" girl though, though had a secret side only my friends knew about. Had my own sense of style totally different than everyone else, I looked pretty good then, (early 80s, graduated in 1983), lots of purple and feathers. Was mainly an A student, Art teacher's pet, principal's pet, in marching band (baton twirler), starting at 15 drank beer when I could (rarely), at 16 smoked pot a couple times a month, more when I was senior but not much more, never bought it myself - had 3 BFs, we all drank/smoked pot, though one did it much more than the rest of us, she was a straight A student too. Was never an "addict" and never tried anything stronger than pot, saw the damage the harder drugs did on others and had no desire to screw myself up or fry my brain, did NOT have sex in HS though 2 of my friends did starting at 15- both were drunk their first time, had enough drama with them to not want to do that until I was ready and sure I'd use birth control. I had a good time, parent's never knew of the things I had been up to, was very good at keeping it all under wraps.
Very smart. We should all follow, but for some reason, it's almost sm
entertainment for some. Isn't that sad?? We find "entertainment" in someone else's grief and sorrow. What else do you call it? I hardly ever watch t.v. In fact, I didn't find out about the shootings until 3:30 when I read that 30+ people were dead! I was shocked!
The media wouldn't give it to us if we didn't show intense interest in it. It seems the more drama it is, the higher the ratings. So, so sad.
Like I said, I read about the accounts on-line at People.com where they never have any news on there - just celebrity gossip. I know, it's not much better, but it's hardly ever death, shootings, earthquakes, terrorism, kidnapping, and the like. I can't handle that kind of stuff.
Thank you for all the responses. I will follow your advice. nm
!
Follow up on cat gorging and throwing up
Posted a few days ago, had Ms. Thang to the veterinarian's office today and he thought possibly hyperthyroidism because of extremely fast heartbeat, hair loss, the 3 pounds weight loss since the end of last year- labs done and sure nuff, hyperthyroidism. Vicious cycle of the gorging, throwing up, seemingly never getting enough to eat- hopefully now with medication can get this under control.
Go to their web site and follow their procedure - sm
they have it all there how to report problems, etc.
Follow the part that has the brains. : ) nm
x
That's horrible. OP--Don't follow this poster's example.
A letter like this is probably the most inappropriate way to have dealt with the situation other than beating the kids up yourself. I'm going to assume this letter was also sent anonymously. Awful, awful, awful.
This thread is a little confusing to follow so I will just
throw my experience out there and see if it works. I was in my 30s when I started having problems with dryness. My husband thought it was because I didn't want him, and I kind of felt weird about it, but it really was just physical - I am not sure what caused it. Finally, he expressed to me that the sex was not as good anymore - I agreed - so I tried using artificial lubricants. The sex was so much better and there was not so much unspoken baggage about the whole thing.
We have been married for 20 years, gone through an almost divorce, and raised 2 kids, so I am not sure why that was such a hard issue to talk about. Like others said, sometimes the sex is hot and you want bunches, sometimes its the furthest thing from your mind, but ultimately just talking about the problem worked for us.
Follow up on money transferring
Went into the bank this morning, talked with someone yesterday and the only way to set it up on line is thru transfer instead of bill pay. I also use bill pay but this would be between 2 bank centers. Noticed below where someone said wire transfers cost $$ but with transferring this way it is $3.00 per transfer.
Again, I follow what the Bible says, that homosexuality is sinful &
support homosexuality by selling items of that nature is not where I will be shopping. You can try to twist this around every way possible, but I am not judging anyone. God will do that. No, I do not associate with gay people, but that does not mean that I would not be pleasant to someone who is. I don't agree with the gay lifestyle, I don't shop at stores that sell homosexual items, and you can make me out to be the bad guy all you want. I believe in what I believe.
I'm probably older than you and I DO follow rules of etiquette,
s
Great post, I am going to follow your advice
It says everything that should be said. I in no way feel just because family should accept, in that were the case every family member could just stop in and that would be feeding an army. I dislike the bad manners to start with; never should you say you are coming to a dinner not having been invited in the first place. To be truthful, feel like uninviting the others he volunteered to drive here- if not for them he would have never known about the dinner in the first place. They told him at a Thanksgiving dinner they had (we were invited, working though, did not attend) and I really resent their saying anything about in in front of other family members who I did not invite this year. We usually have a group of 10 only here at my home, the same each and every year. Others are out of town. Thanks for the wonderful suggestions! I shall follow through.
less is best....fewer words. If you need to say Hi, do not follow it with how are you, if she asks
nm
Ok, here's the link - unbelievable that people would follow this man!!!
http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/index.php?cl=7455894
you will have to cut and paste - sorry - I don't know how to link it
If enough boys show up, the girls will follow...sm
but if he is still worried about her screwing it up for him, maybe there is a game or some other event he and some friends can be taken to? This was discussed here a long time ago, but when I was a kid, my dad took some of my friends and me to a Phillies game for my B-day. It still makes me smile after all these years.
Follow the burned kitten's health updates
of those two evil teenage girls at:
http://www.forgottenfelines.com/v4/adam.shtml
You can also find news and archived articles at the "Press Democrat" newspaper website. Looks like the kitty may recover, but his bills could reach $30,000 before he's well again. 
Sorry you couldn't follow me. I have work to finish up. Have a nice day. nm
x
It's not the worker's fault. She has to follow the rules or be fired. sm
I've taken a lot of flack from a lot of customers, and the run-of-the-mill retail worker really has no freedom to make decisions. When the worker is caught between a yelling customer and a yelling manager, who do you think she'll listen to?
Yes, but keep in mind ks that Christian's follow EVERY word of the Holy Bible
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