First off, I was very upset when I wrote
Posted By: at the end of my rope on 2008-08-26
In Reply to: there is a reason and why would you consider sending an 8-year-old to a home? - you need to counsel. no message
the original post. Sending my son to a boys' home is obviously a last resort. I don't mean an orphanage or foster care. I mean a facility that can help to retrain him if I can't. I love my son very much. I would rather suffer the pains and guilt of having to send him to a reformity, then to watch him grow up into someone who would hurt someone else and ruin the rest of his life. I love all of my children equally.
Secondly, when I took my child to the child psychologist, I had several visits with him first to see if there was something I was doing wrong. I continued to attend each session with my child, including private sessions for myself after his meeting with my son.
Thirdly, your comments were not helpful, just nasty, and that's not the kind of help I was looking for. Anyone who's ever been in this situation already feels inadequate as a parent and doesn't need someone else to slam them. Thanks for taking the time out of your busy day to do just that.
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Sorry, I was upset at the time I wrote the original post
Basically, I sent a voided Wal-Mart check to a creditor by mistake and they cashed it and the bank let it go through both times. I called them on it. I was thinking that someone must have found that check and cashed it again. At the time, I did not realize my mistake. They then cancelled the payment to Wal-Mart, don't know why, and now Wal-Mart is treating it like I wrote a hot check. They added $30 to the original amount.
Amen. Well said...whoever wrote this. thx. nm
nm
could have wrote you note but sm
I have a daughter that is a sophmore.Wamted this certain college. Could not convince to stay in state. It costs her 10,000 dollars more being out of state. She goes from wanting to b there to not wanting to be there to liking it it to hating it It depends on what day you talk to her. Joined the band dropped out, had problem with boyfriend moved across the campus, than they started dating again, then he ends it. She gets upset wants to come home. I get a phone call every night. Everytime we decide to have her transfer or come home she decides to stay. Has changed her major three times. What worries me is she is on Student loans that she will be responsible to pay when she graduates. If she leaves college she will have to start paying immediately, where she would have 10 years if the stays in college. This month she is already over 80 minutes on the cell phone and there is two weeks more to go. She spends hours talking to the ex-boyfriend and they are on the same campus. My husband and I are going to talk to a therapist about this because I want to do tough love. Hang up when she calls crying at 11 p.m. Telling her if she does not get her act together she will have no choice to leave etc. He is the softy. Nothing makes her happy.
By any chance is your son going to a college in New England.
Wrote down the info...thanks. nm
!
You must be my twin because you just wrote
everything about me to a T!!! I've been in a quandry for quite some time about what I should do.
I was one who wrote below about finding SM
love after divorce. I believe there are good men out there, but they are hard to find, especially the older one gets. I think the key is letting him find you, but it doesn't mean you can't put yourself out there.
OK. What I think about problem men have in marriages. I'm speaking about my own here. I was the only girl he ever dated. He asked me to marry him and I said yes. He knew it was mistake, but was devout Catholic and just stayed married, but decided he would still like to be single, so he began cheating on me. As for me, I loved him for a long, long time. When I see him at family events, I wonder why! LOL!!!!
hih? truth? whose? Men who wrote Bibles?
I have not read but others wrote yet but you just need to stop - sm
you have done all you can do and have bent over backwards to help. Your guilt will be your downfall. I don't know how to tell you to stop feeling guilty, but you really have nothing to feel guilty about. You have done way too much for her and she has just taken advantage. She is 19 more than old enough to take care of herself. She wants to be homeless and can adapt as you say to any situation, then let her. I would just tell her the gravy train stops now and she has to learn how to take care of herself. Get some names of some shelters to give her, the YWCA, etc. and if she really wants to help herself she can start there but she is going to have to do it on her own now. If the worsed happens you know you have done all that one person can possibly do; but if she does not want to help herself (and it is obvious she does not) then there really is nothing you or anyone else can do. You need to steel yourself not to give in and basically cut off all contact until she proves w/o a doubt that she has cleaned up her act which will take at least 6 months if not more I would think. If you don't have caller ID then get it, otherwise let your answering machine answer all calls and just don't take hers or return her calls either. Good luck.
That wife you wrote about sounds like me! LOL! SM
I was married to a man who cheated for years. I was in total denial. After close to 30 years, I up and left. Best thing I ever did.
Just want to acknowledge point that men don't leave. If they are in a long marriage, and have been getting away with cheating for a long time, AND there is a lot of money involved, what with houses, pensions, savings, etc., THEY DON'T LEAVE.
I admire both your honesty. Good luck.
just wrote a long reply`
put stu@pid in it and it said I used bad language and to go back and it deleated my whole darn thing, will write back soon, behind in work, but have some comments to make later. Good to see you back Hayseed.
No when I originally wrote the check
The check was a voided check to Wal-Mart and the Loan company, CNH Capital, knew that and cashed it anyway. I thought it was illegal for someone cash a check that did not belong to them.
I can't believe you just wrote it's not okay for your kids to make mistakes.
"Just becuase UGU all forget things and make mistakes does not mean that my children need to be raised to think it's ok to do so."
Good god, I hope I never meet you or anyone else with your twisted sense of right and wrong.
no, nobody knows but the bank, they will cover checks you wrote
nm
Totally disagree with one thing you wrote. sm
You Wrote:
Yes, there are bad breeders, but there are far more good ones. In my 18 years in the cat fancy, I have seen some bad ones, *but the good ones far outweigh the bad.*
If only that were true. *sigh* Maybe you're talking about in the show world. It probably is true there, but that is such a teeny, tiny part of the whole picture.
In reality, outside of the show world, there are far, far, far more BAD 'breeders' out there, though I'm using the word 'breeder' loosely, to include backyard breeders (type that into Google if you're not familiar w/the term - I don't mean you, gd1, as I'm sure you know all about it!), puppy mills, and pet stores, and that is were the majority of the pet overpopulation problem comes from.
I wish only the reputable, ethical 'show breeders' of dogs and cats were the only ones doing any breeding. If that were the case, there would be little to no problem, as they are the caretakers of their breeds and are concerned with bettering the breed, only breeding animals with excellent health, conformation, and temperament - not just $$$ by cranking out puppies/kittens, or letting their dog/cat have a litter for the kids to see or because 'everyone wants one of her puppies/kittens!' or whatever.
I don't know if mandatory spaying/neutering is the answer or not. I do know it's being seriously considered in my state (CA), and there would be exceptions for hobby/show breeders, breeders of service dogs, search and rescue dogs, etc.
But I have a feeling people would find some way around it, and I imagine disreputable people (gag) in neighboring states would start to crank up 'production' if there were any kind of 'shortage' here. Makes me ill...
I also don't know how mandatory spay/neut. could be enforced. Animal control here (huge county) admitted on the news that only about 25% of pets are licensed.
I think I'm in favor of it, overall though, at least to give it a try and with exceptions available for *some* breeders, as I mentioned above.
I did breed rescue for 6 years, and I've been to more shelters and seen more animals there than I care to recall. It's absolutely sickening the number of perfectly nice animals destroyed, simply for lack of a home. A shocking number (about 25-30%) are young, healthy purebreds that cost the original owner a pretty penny, so even that doesn't guarantee a home.
The poster wrote 4 sentences on an MT forum.
You don't know her, can't judge her. This place is getting so catty and ridiculous.
You did your rant, laughed your ___ off and wrote off your Mom and Grandmom!
You have a lot to learn. When they are dead, you will realize it didn't really mean a thing except that you "wrote them off" and laughed your A@@ off at any suggestion that you should make peace with your Mom at Christmas. You only have one Mom, you came from her loins, no one else's. Too bad you can't realize how wrong you are to judge. No one said you have to see her every day but she's a human being and human beings make mistakes. Glad you are perfect and your kid is perfect. Hope you always remain "perfect." Merry Christmas! Sounds like you have a lot of people backing you up, so you think you're right in ditching your Mom and Grandmom. People in my family have done horrible things to me but I rise above it, send them a Christmas card and wish them a Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year. I am not God. Perhaps you don't see your Mom's tears, but believe me, one day you will be sorry and it will be too late. Get a heart! You are telling your son in effect, "These are bad people, write them off!" Bad advice methinks. You are hearing only what you want to hear, so go ahead and laugh your a@@ off if it makes you happy. Watch out you are not that "Mom" one day, you've set the scene and have written the script, to "write Moms off."
Obviously a man wrote that Good Wife Guide - sm
Boy that thing is amazing, hard to believe that that is how people thought and behaved back then, Stepford wives. Guess some men were sad when women finally woke up and smelled the coffee. ---I only remember a couple things though, but I was born in 1965--- drive-in movies and the metal ice trays, rabbit ears, the star/sun ray clock, and we had an old metal Pepsi cooler which had my dad kept would probably be worth a small fortune now.
If you exercised your right to vote and wrote to your congressmen/women,
passive people just sit back ,allow bad things happening, and then whine about it, while aggressive people actually DO SOMETHING about matters they disagree with.
Mitch Alboum wrote a book about this called
Boy, Hayseed..you just wrote my story..Today, it occured to me...
I'm going nuts doing this job. The longer I sit here every day the fruit-ier I am getting. I have to force myself to leave the house and when I get out there I have panic attacks. I'm freaked out by traffic, freaked out by too many people and I just want to run home and put my sweats back on. A few days ago was the topper, and it was at that point, that I started getting on the job search for a job OUTSIDE of home. Isolation is NOT good. My husband had just made dinner, we ate, then I went back to my office for about an hour, and I irritatingly came out of my office to ask my husband why he hadn't decided yet what he wanted for dinner as it was getting late. He looked at me with that WHAT THE BLEEP BLEEP!!! and I just knew it was time to get AWAY from the computer and socialize with real people. I truly feel this is NOT healthy. I have started wierding myself out by some of the stuff I'm doing. I have even started forgetting people's names and numbers that I swore I would never forget...AND I refuse to believe I'm getting older or that I have Alzheimers. It's something much deeper..WORK..LOL..Well, it's late and I need to get back to work so I can keep losing my mind..See ya. 
I wrote my local buffalo rock and they told me a
I will look for your Folger's Instant Straight up tomorrow when I go!
I wrote a $10 check to Wal-Mart and turned in to a $40 mistake so far.
Here is what happened. When you write a check at this Wal-Mart here, they have you sign something and give the check back. I stuck it back in my purse. They are supposed to void. I was cleaning at my purse that day and paying bills at the same time. I wrote a $250 to pay a loan. I really don't know how it happened but I must have torn that one up and sent the $10 voided check to the loan. A week later, i was looking at my acct online. I notice that that $10 I had written to Wal-Mart went through twice. I called the bank and asked why. They said, "oh, it looks like Wal-Mart double dipped." so I was refunded the money. I don't know who refunded the money, was it the bank, Wal-mart, I don't know. Anyway, I became concerned about why that 250 check didn't come in so I called that loan company. They said $10 was credit to my acct. I did not connect the 2 at the time. I thought, 10, I don't write $10 to this acct. The man told me he would look into it incase there was a mistake. He called back the day later and said that was a $10 originally written to Wal-Mart and we cashed it. So I called the bank and told them. They then had me go to wal-mart because they said I owed them $10 back. I go to wal-mart and they say no it is the Telecheck, company they use for this service and they thanked me for trying to clear it up and said Telecheck will be contacting me. So I get a letter in the mail saying I owe $40 plus I am not allowed to write checks anywhere that uses their service until I pay that $40 back.
What scares me is that that check said VOID on it and that other bunch was still able to cash it and get their money, which I think was dishonest of them...also my bank let it go through. Now what if I were to loose a bunch of those type checks and someone cashes it AGAIN. Man I would be out a lot. Do you think any of this is right? TIA.
I read all the comments and I agree with the poster who wrote
'One has to teach people how to treat you' and one has to tell people what is imoportant to oneself.
It is inexcusable not to call or meet one's mother for mother's day and Christmas, etc.....
A cute little article/story my husband just wrote that I wanted to share!
Layoffs in the North Pole
Story by Bill Perkins
In a press release this morning Santa Claus announced the layoff of nearly 800,000 elf employees. The announcement was completely unexpected despite the current economic situation.
Due to the failing economy, and many companies cutting costs wherever they can, including advertising, Mr. Claus has lost several endorsement jobs.
Mr. Claus is seeking government aid, requesting his own bailout package from several different governments. However, he is meeting a great deal of resistance. Many toymakers and distributors, namely Walmart, Playskool, and the Chinese government, are lobbying against the bailout. They say Santa's "Free Toy for Every Child" program is a seasonal monopoly, and it generally takes four months to recover the losses sustained from his "good deeds."
Children across the globe will feel the impact this Christmas, particularly the naughty ones. Traditionally, naughty children receive lumps of coal from Santa on Christmas. Mr. Claus has no coal to give, though, as it was part of the elves' severance packages. It is Santa's hope that it will at least be enough to keep his former employees warm through the winter.
When asked if there was any hope of the elves returning to work next year, Santa replied, "It doesn't look very promising. The elves are like family to me; I love them all very dearly. Unfortunately, illegal immigrants work for a lot less, and I don't have to provide benefits, so that's probably what I'll have to do. It was a difficult decision to make, but it's necessary if I want to keep the business in operation."
The elves aren't the only ones hurting. The reindeer are suffering a great deal more. Mr. Claus has had to auction off much of his breeding stock just to stay operational until Christmas Eve. (See related story on page 5, "McDonald's Debuts new Christmas Menu.) It is questionable at this point how much longer Santa will be able to make his annual flight.
Could this be the beginning of the end of Santa Claus? Only time will tell for sure.
I am so upset...
Just need to express a little;
On my way home from a nice lunch with my DH, I saw a horrible car accident where a teen girl T-boned a car and killed the driver of the car. I am beside myself with emotion right now. The poor girl flipped out when she learned that the other driver was dead, literally running across 4 lanes of traffic and collapsing in a fastfood restaurant parking lot. My heart is breaking still for her as well as the other driver's family and friends.
I have a teen daugther chomping at the bit to get her license and I DONT WANT HER TO...just because of stuff like this.
Please remember these families in your prayers. This young girl has a long, hard road ahead of her I'm sure...not to mention the other driver's family...
I am so upset
Vehicles are not necessary or permitted at U.S. Naval Academy where son went until beginning of senior year. Daughter went to self-contained college campus in Maryland. Family member helped w/transportaiton when necessary. Raised 5 children. Shelter, food, clothing necessary expenses, vehicles & exhorbitant insurance for teens not necessary. Check the stats on young drivers ages 16-25. Then decide if you want your your teen driving. It helps a lot if they pay their own way or at least part. Def driving helps some. Raised 5 children. Lot of parents want the kids to drive so they don't have to be bothered.
I would be VERY upset...
and I'd let her know it too...whatta scrooge! Like the other poster, I'd go to the principal about this. She way overstepped her boundaries on this one. I am so sorry this happened right here at the holidays. Hope y'all enjoy Christmas anyway!
does this upset you? then do something about it.
nm
Like I'm not upset enough. . LOL
Hey everyone, HELP me! I had a bat hanging on the edge of my sofa when I came down from my break at 12:30 p.m. to go to the mall for my iced tea. I called the guy down in the apartment downstairs and he came up and let's just say took care of it. I was in tears! Don't like anything to be hurt, but I floze out about such things. I have bad eyes, and when I came down the steps I thought, what's that black sock doing on the side of my sofa. Then I remembered socks don't have wings! Beam me up! I'm still upset! LOL!!! This past week has been the week from
H E double hockey sticks!!!!! I need an Ativan the size of a hub cap! Just wanted all my MTs to know if could get worse. . . IT JUST DID.
The guy who helped me is so tall he kinda looks like Herman Munster without the bolt, which is scary enough!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is nice, though and thank goodness he was there. Have a good day, guys! 
Yes, and she was VERY UPSET
about what?? Cause she got caught? DUH. Man o Man. I cannot understand this at all. Well she should be going to jail like Paris did but for longer. Anyone of us in this same situation would still be in jail right now and would be going to jail for years with the drug possession charges from now and in May. Cannot wait for this to go to trial.
You have every right to be upset
but what is done is done and the best thing to do would be to take her to a GYN, get her on birth control, talk openly about safer sex practice and you can still let her know your disappointment but don't dwell on it. She may feel he is the "one" for her, but if he truly is a loser, she will figure that out in time, especially with the help of her friends...peer pressure is what gets them into the situation in the first place. I don't think you sound controlling...you just sound very disappointed for your daughter. Good luck.
Upset
I'm upset and never thought about that.....I just want my kids to be happy.....but he seems to think that the grass is greener on the other side, but once he finds out that it is not....he will back....but in the meantime....he will not have a key to my house to come and go as he pleases.....thanks for responding....
I for one do not see why others get so upset by
screaming and yelling in every situation. I understand the basic concept and the I-net rules and stuff, but honestly one or two words capped in a paragraph IMO hardly consistute yelling and screaming. I took it more as a way to stress a word or phase. Everyone needs to chill a little I think, including the OP.
Why are you getting so upset?
You stated a fact and apparently do not wish to hear what others are saying about how credit plays a big part in job situations (your credit probably pulled on a job before to check you out) and other parts of life. The bank does not have a part in your son's lack of money and being unable to pay his bills. Those are their rules and why you should continue to blast others for telling it like it is, I don’t know.
Why am I so upset?
Because you posters are equating being unemployed with being a thief or an embezzler. You'd be upset too if people called your son a thief.
I have never come across the problem with checking credit because my husband's and mine has always been excellent. I guess you learn something new every day, about life and about people who can be so vile while hiding behind a computer.
I would also be upset,
and I don't think you are being selfish at all. I have no advice or suggestions. I just wanted to let you know that I think you have every reason to be upset. With blessing across the miles, I pray for you. :)
You have every right to be upset....sm
And yes that has happened to me. Not all the time but it has. I have an 11 year old son and last year he did not wish me happy mothers day and didn't want anyone to take him to get me a card or anything. But when fathers day comes he always tells his dad happy fathers day and asks me to take him to buy him a gift. Yes, it hurts my feelings but I know my son worships his dad. I'm just mama. BUT this year, my son was different. He asks my mom to help him get me a gift and she did. He told me happy mothers day so I was happy. My husband wished me HMD but didn't get a card or nothing.
Yes, it hurts my feelings and I let my husband know it did but oh well. My husband can be a real a-- sometimes and then again he can be the nices guy ever. He has 2 different personalities.
No, it's okay! I wasn't upset or anything,
just was confused when I couldn't find it. I wanted to post all that so hopefully anyone having these problems could maybe try the same thing.
Firefox is letting me into every site I use though, so crossing my fingers it continues.
Thanks for the tip about the degfrag. I haven't done it and will. :)
Not upset here. Just said I thought
it was RUDE and I could care less if he is or isn't gay. I do not care if it was planned ahead of time or not.
I turn this show on for the talent aspect, but it is becoming less and less of the American Idol show but more about a popularity contest, putting people down, etc, etc. It is all about RATINGS and frankly the whole show is becoming a big JOKE. JUDGES and all
Well, I think she might be upset enough to stroke out or something (sm)
That's good enough for me!
I know you are upset about this and it is your decision
true enough. I probably would not like a 16-year-old to have the keys either. First of all, unless living there, lots are not responsible enough or use good logic but I was hurt, I was grown and could be trusted then and now and I would let me children have, but they are grown.
Me too!! I was so upset when I thought
he was demoted by that day rat. (sorry day shift people). I work over night shift and thoroughly love the comments about different shifts. Man that show is good. We just went on vacation with the kids to the Star Trek Museum (yes we are nerds)and stayed at the Hilton. We love the opening every time CSI Vegas comes on. We try to figure out where the hotel is and all the different things are. LOL. We are truly ill here. We flip between CSI and 2 Law and Orders every evening, and on Saturdays watch the tapes.
More upset with male, although I see your SM
point. If male, would be more about him. My ex did cheat on me for years. I felt deceived, but would have felt even more so if he cheated with men and probably scared silly about disease, which, I know, could have been passed on by women.
Wish people didn't have affairs and if they want a divorce, just get one and then date whomever you want. Yes, I am very naive.
Maybe you did sound upset. .
As you said, you were talking to your aunt on the phone who is dying of cancer and is in hospice. Are you sure you didn't sound upset or irritated with your daughter? At least she cares.
Should I be upset? My mother-in-law......sm
has been taking my 9-month-old daughter around the farm on the 4-wheeler. The guys are coming and going with the machinery, it's noisy, and she's driving my daughter around all of that. Am I overreacting, or do I have a right to be upset?
About my mom, from post below - so upset! sm
My daughter's friend's mom just informed me that my mother told her daughter (and mine) that she had been chased by a demon and had seen demons and ghosts. When my daughter told my mom she didn't believe her, my mother took out a Bible and swore on the Bible that it was true. She has the little girl so scared she won't sleep in her own bed and won't go to the bathroom by herself. I called my mom and asked her why she would do this. She said it was the girls fault because they didn't believe her so she had to swear on the Bible to prove it to them. I asked her if while she was saying all these things, she was unaware of all the times I have asked her not to say these types of things, and if she really did not know she was saying something I wouldn't want her to say. She said she guessed she did know and that maybe she shouldn't come to my house anymore if she is going to upset people (patheticically) so I said if she can't honor my requests as the mother in this house then I guess she shouldn't come back. I just feel so bad though, so bad.
Who is Valentineless today? Not upset or anything, just asking
I can't believe all of you are upset about the police comment...
but not that she will be sent to a "meaner mom and dad". lol Priceless and typical.
To me, no biggie. Plus I don't particularly like cops ;)
Poster was having a moment. There is far worse people say and do to kids. And that can be turned around, easily. Geez.
:)
Me again! I am so frustrated, scared, and upset over here. I'm sorry, but sm
my husband doesn't understand and my other friends homeschool (as do I), so I have no one to talk to about this. My 3-1/2 year old has been crying all day. What is wrong with him? Not crying, but unplugging stuff for my computer, unfolding laundry, taking DVDs and throwing them all over the floor. So, I spanked him, yet again, and nothing is working. I sincerely cannot take this. I cannot, I cannot, I cannot. I have to put him in a program somewhere.
I am crying so hard right now because my husband and I are both advocates for homeschooling and having the children at home. I am suffering having to spend the majority of my day spaking and disciplining an unruly child which gives me no time to homeschool his brothers. They (the other brothers) hate to see their little bro get into trouble, but what is one supposed to do? There are 3 of them and 1 of me. I just lost it a few minutes ago as he just started tearing things up again. Here are the options: Get rid of every single electronic thing in my household (including my work computer), tv's, Playstation 2(which is 10 year old brother loves), and everything else and go back to the days of old where it was just mom, kids, and dad at work. I'm seriously thinking he is just too distracted and can't help it. OR solution #2, put him in daycare somewhere (this makes me cringe, cry, sob- because he will be just a number there (I know - I worked for one for a long time - I don't care what anyone says), or in a pre-K program somewhere, but around here they only last for 2 hours (GA). I know, because I've checked.
Anyone else with similar situation? I'm thinking of putting them all in school so I can work since I have to work. Our expenses outweigh husband's income. I must work. I only work at night,though, so that isn't an issue during the day. I am at my wits end. I know if I work, though, a lot if it will go towards daycare. But inside my head and heart, I can't take this. I don't know why, I just can't do this anymore.
Maybe folks think you are upset because you keep yelling
Ultimately it is your decision whether or not to give someone the key to your home, or once they have it to let them keep it. You have to do what you are comfortable with. I have keys to my parent's home, my siblings' homes, and my cousin's home. Two of my brothers have keys to my home. We are all comfortable with that arrangement.
As a side note, you posted here about the entire situation knowing that everything in your post would be open to comment. If you did not want folks to comment on aspects your situation, then there really was no need to divulge so many details. You simply could have said, "My son is moving out of my home. I asked for the keys to my house. My mother felt this was objectionable." Then you could have asked for opinions or what other folks do.
More upset if with a man. Lie #1 is the affair, lie #2 is that he's gay and didn't tell me bef
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