Finances . . .
Posted By: Just One? on 2009-03-19
In Reply to: What do you think is the "one" thing that is making you unhappy? - GabbyChick
Why? Husband has been laid off since last October, works for father, doesn't want to quit, can't really work anywhere else (not licensed yet). My wages went down when I was whisked out the door by my previous hospital job (stupid EMR/VR). Oh yeah . . . and house is worth about $100,000 less than what we owe :(
I have a lot more that I could add, but since we have to pick just one, I guess I will go with finances. Ain't this economy just a blast? (sarcastic)
GabbyChick . . . I completely understand where you are coming from about having a dream career. It especially sucks when you have put time and effort into what once used to be very comparible to a dream job.
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Here's how I handle finances ...
I am doing well when I see others are not but it takes some priorities and discipline.
I have a budget set. I follow it religiously. It took time to develop it. It includes expenses for maintaining the car and home, clothes, gifts, haircuts, emergency saving, long-term saving. If I have a fluctuation in income where I have excess left over - it goes to savings, not in my spending fist.
I have everything I can set up on electronic banking. It helps keep you on track if you cringe at the thought of being overdrawn and messed up on an electronic withdrawal problem!
Income is direct deposited into 3 accounts: Household checking, personal checking and savings. Household checking is where all expenses are paid out of. Savings, self explanatory. Personal checking is the allowance I have for myself from each paycheck. It is my personal spending.
Once the bills are paid, each payperiod I have a set amount I withdraw in cash from household checking. This is for gas/groceries. That is it. When we run out of cash for gas/groceries, we run out.
Don't carry credit/debit cards or checks with you.
Single most important staep you can take: Live below your means. Whatever your income is, subtract 10% for your savings and then live on the rest. No exceptions. No matter what changes you have to make, if you do not do take this one most important step, you will never have any savings and never get ahead.
My husband is oblivious to our finances
Sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes not. It sounds like maybe your husband is too proud to tell his family that he can't afford these things. I've had my niece/nephew over for the weekend and it adds up quick. I would suggest talking to the "leader" of his family, the person who hosts the get-togethers, and let them know that you do the finances and you just don't have it this year. It doesn't need to be said in front of everyone or even in front of your husband. I would certainly let your husband know that you are going to say something beforehand, but he doesn't need to be present at the time it's said.
I'm not sure how you do Christmas/birthdays in your family, but in our family, we exchange names for Christmas so we don't have to buy everyone but everyone has something to open. For birthdays, we take the time to call and wish that person a happy birthday. We don't buy for the children unless they are having a party and we've been invited to it. My brother lives about 2 hours away, so we don't always make it to each other's parties for the kids. Unless his family is loaded, I'm sure they'll understand.
As for the glasses, I just took my son for new glasses yesterday. The eye doctor said he needs a new prescription, but I asked if just the lenses could be replaced and the frames reused. He said absolutely. Our insurance covers new frames, lenses and the exam, but my son has a tendency to break things at the most inopportune time. We just bought him these glasses in June because he broke them and according to the insurance, it wasn't time yet for new ones. Now that he is eligible for everything new, we asked for just the lenses. If he breaks his frames later in the year, we can just get new frames (covered by insurance) and pop the lenses in. The only problem there would be is they discontinue his frames because the new lenses probably wouldn't fit a different frame. So, something to consider here is, if your stepchild needs a new prescription and already has glasses, then I would check with your lawyer to see if you can just buy new lenses for the current frames. The frames are what normally cost the most anyway.
Not the last couple sharing finances
I can't imagine having separate money from my husband. We're married and we share everything equally including bills.
The reasoning is that those who are not in control of their own finances (sm)
i.e., bad credit, are more statistically more likely to be tempted to steal.
I think finances and stress ALL play a huge part in this. nm
n
Finances were a real sore spot in our marriage for a long time
But my husband was in the military for 12 years, and he was away quite a bit, so I had to take over the finances. When he was home and he was paying the bills, he would get so upset because he felt there wasn't enough money and "where does all the money go?" "why don't we ever have any left?" was all I heard. I finally told him I was taking them back over because I was sick of hearing that every month. I put everything on MS Money, categorize it, subcategorize it, and add memos, so if he wants to know exactly where the money is going, all he has to do is look.
Funny....he really hasn't complained a whole lot since.
Worry about finances but don't worry about insurance. sm
Most of the time, the father is awarded through court to provide insurance on the children as well as child support. If not, you might would qualify for some assistance on healthcare for the children. There are a lot of programs out there now. You could always try to find an employee position although that doesn't seem to easy this day and time. In the end, money does not buy happiness nor love.
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