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Feelings

Posted By: nana on 2008-01-15
In Reply to: You can say that about adults but - not responsibly about children.

are neither right or wrong, they just are, but I don't just feel that way, I believe it.

This was not a small child. This was a teenager. Think back to when you were one. Now, think back to what you were taught as a child. Can you honestly see yourself actually hanging yourself to death because someone insulted you on an internet site? I say there was a lot more wrong there than is public knowledge and the persons who would best (or should best) know that would be parents. I am not cold and unfeeling. I care. I do believe that suicide is a permanent soluion to a temporary problem and I brought up my children to believe that too. I also believe I have a right to my opinion and, unfortunately, have personal experience with this problem having had a relative's child in the family commit suicide as a teenager. I still believe that the parents need to train children from childhood on up about this and many other topics that seem to be left out of child rearing these days including manners, appropriateness, religion, drugs, sexuality, and work ethic. We all need to put more into our children and families at home. This includes extended family.

Sorry you have such a closed mind about my opinion and hope I have not hurt your tender feelings with my front-on approach.


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I am really, really sorry because I know your feelings
I recently lost my beloved pet of 18 years but I have also lost animals to parvo in the past, really sad. I so feel for you and hope your heart will mend before long. We just love these little ones so much and does not take long for them to have us wrapped around their little paws. Sorry in your loss.
Why is okay for you to have your feelings but
I'm the one who started the Tolerance thread.

If I don't want to like or condone or support immorality, I don't have to. It is my choice, my right.

If you want to sit there and be happy about it or accept it or whatever, fine for you.

And it's not fine for the schools or government or any other group to determine what I or my children are allowed to think is acceptable or not. That is MY choice and MY right.

Very normal feelings.......sm
I went through the same feelings with both my children, my daughter being the oldest. She had to take a drivers course at our local high school during the summer, then she got her permit. She drove with that for a few months before getting her license. But that first time she went with a girlfriend just down the street to a local burger joint made me crazy. I knew she would go slow and be very cautious, but that feeilng was still there, bordering on panic. She's 23 now. My son came next....he had to take the same course. He's was a little more pushy about the license, but didn't make a big deal out of it. But, unfortunately, within the month after getting them his dad said he could go to his girlfriend's.. it was rainy and I was not happy. She lives on a dead end street which is good, cause a dog ran out in front of him, he dodged it, and ran over the neighbor's utility box and tore up their beautiful grass. He was scared to death. Well, that got fixed and I guarantee he went slower after that. He's 20 now and as I notice a lot of guys do, he drives faster than his sister, but not as fast as his girlfriend, thank goodness!! He drives her car cause he tells her she goes too fast, won't use blinkers, no signals, makes me nuts. But they are grown and made it through those early testing times, and so will yours. By the time my son got his license, my state had graduated license, so he could only drive between certain daytime hours, and not past 7 at night for a few months. Check your state laws...a lot of them have these now.
I understand your feelings, too. SM

Our school district lost 4 kids last year (2005-2006 school year) to car accidents (2 in one accident), and it's not a big district, as well as a young father of 3, who was killed by a drunk driver.  But my daughter turned 16 last November and she went for her permit and got her license over the summer.  As much as I would like to put all three of my kids up on a shelf so nothing ever happens to them, I know I can't.  I pray for them daily and hope their father and I have set good examples for them as far as being behind the wheel. 


My daughter also drives a very distinct looking car and her older brother also drove it, so everyone in the area knows who's car it is and the kids know I WILL hear about if they do something dumb.


Mixed feelings
I had extremely harsh and unforgiving feelings toward ANY sexual misconduct/abuse situation.

Then, one of the young boys in my family was found guilty of such.

It has split and torn my entire family apart.

The agony of loving this young man and despising his act is killing the soul. His parents are especially suffering.

Before I was in this situation, I simply felt we should put them all to death. Now, I'm not sure what to believe.

I do believe he should pay his consequences and I am relieved that the court has to do this terrible job. They can be objective. It is harder when you know the individual.

I want him to suffer the consequences of his actions. I want him to rightfully bear the conviction, the shame, the social retribution for it.

At the same time, I want him saved, rehabilitated, redeemed.

He is mortified of how he will be treated for the rest of his life. I remind him that one reaps what they sow.

I have great sympathy for him, for his victims (this was sexual misconduct, not rape), for all of us in this situation.

I'm not sure why I'm even posting this other than remind everyone: The persons who commit these acts are someone's child, too, regardless of age. Someone loves them, too.
I understand your feelings sm
but I say definitely go and enjoy. My husband and I have left our children (now 14 and 16) many times over the years since about the ages of 5 and 7. We could only go on short trips like 2 to 3 nights but I think it really helped them to learn a little independance. The first time my daughter went away to camp she was 11 and it was for 2 weeks. On the second night she broke her collarbone and begged us not to come and get her. Kids don't suffer near as much separation anxiety as parents do.
You know my feelings also, but you get blasted
when you feel like this, on this board you do. Mine are grown also. I think lots on this board maybe with young babies, children and the like and have not reached the point to where it is not as coochie-cho as it was when little. Not a happy ever after type thing. One child self-reliant but into their own little self and the other 1 had to close the bank on that one. No more hearing from that 1, not even a call on Mothers Day. Have not talked to them in over 2 years now and live in the same town. Oh, loved them as babies though. Didn’t last a lifetime.
Yes, I understand your feelings
My Mom died in 1981, my dad in 1984. I was in my early 30s, not married, no kids, all my other siblings had their own families. I lived with my parents for about 8 years longer than any of the rest of them.

For about 15 years, I missed them so much it physically hurt. I still miss them, but I've moved along enough in the grieving process that now I am more balanced about it. I still miss them deeply, esp. on holidays which were always celebrated by the entire family together but not since Mom died.

The emotional scar tissue gets thicker but grief is a life long process and anyone who says otherwise is not being honest. There will always be a void.


mixed feelings
I have mixed feelings on this subject. I think a lot of it has to do with the owners but maybe there is something about the breed too - not sure. But yesterday a friend of ours had to shoot his neighbor's pit bull. . The dog was known to be mean and is usually kept inside but it was out and came after our friend's 2y/o grandchild. He got the child inside and when he looked out, the dog was going after another neighbor's child. He got his gun and shot it. . However, I will say, the owner of the pit bull is a known drug dealer and not a very nice person, so that could be why the dog was so aggressive.
Mine comes from the job and my feelings at the end of the day. sm
I have done transcription and/or typing of one type or another for years it seems. So the MT is what I do for a living (and the way my brain feels) and the "worn out" is the way I feel after doing my job all day and then my 2nd job on top of that.
I understand your feelings
My in-laws won't even do what your family is doing. They insist that everyone should get a gift. Well not even that but they say to just "cut back" which means what exactly???? I don't know. I didn't grow up with big Christmas presents and all that...family and dinner was emphasized. It makes me wish xmas was just another day. We can't afford it this year but when trying to talk to anyone about it they act like we have no head.

If you want to participate, I would do the flat $25 in a gift card for dinner or groceries and leave it at that. How can they get upset when you stick to the agreement. If they don't like your choice, that's too bad. Maybe they shouldn't participate next year if they have such high standards.
Feelings may be temporary sm
We work in a very stressful profession. Just think about it for awhile. I stuck my marriage out and am glad I did now. Sometimes you have to talk directly to the person, tell him how you feel and ask for his cooperation. Truth be told, I don't see any "perfect" marriages. Leave the religion out of it and look at the marriage, the consequences, and where you will be in 10 years from now. Don't exchange one situation for a worse one. Sometimes the grass looks greener on the other side, but people lie a lot! Think hard before you do something you may regret. I'm glad I stayed.
Had my feelings hurt, how to handle?

About a week ago my elderly aunt called and told me she was having problem with her scalp, asked what did I think she should do, dermatologist she asked. Told her I would be happy to check on an ole timey medicine to apply to scalp, used for daughter before and worked. Distributor no longer made but phamacist suggested something else. I took to her and did not want money for it and told her so. Today I get the cost of the medicine back and then she goes on to say what a terrible smell, stung when she first put it on (says so on the directions which I am sure she read), awful smell, could not go out anywhere, had to wash her hair, just terrible putrid smell. Now, except for a doctors visit every one in awhile, she does not go out and that is not every week. I did this out of kindness and now I feel hurt, not only about her returning the money but most of all how she went on and on and on about how she could not use. She is not senile, has plenty of sense, although elderly still drives and no kind of problems except I think she was kinda rude to me. Any ideas? Should I say something, let it go, not involve myself any more??


PS: *Gut feelings* are usually correct in my case! -nm
.
I agree with your feelings, except the PETA
part. That is a very strange organization whose actual weird agenda they keep out of sight. I am for protecting animals, but not PETA. They would have people release their pets into the wild and let nature take its course. But they don't advertise that side of their beliefs. You would have to look into the origins of the organization.
The part about you hoping never have same feelings about your son
I would have never thought in a million years I would ever be alienated from my son but am and it has been at least 3-4 years since I saw or talked with him. He tried and I say tried, to say things that he should have never said against me. I wish him the best but I would never stand by and hear what came out of his mouth to come out again. I cut any and all ties with him and his family.
Honestly, it would hurt my feelings...
I've always had a key to my parents' house and if they asked for it back, it would hurt my feelings. It's kinda like saying you're not welcome here. Every time my parents move, they have extra keys made for me and my siblings, and it makes me feel like the door is always open. I live less than a mile away from them, but I make sure to always call before I come over. You might want to explain why you took the key from your son and make sure he didn't take it the wrong way and that he's still welcome to come back just to make sure he's okay with it.
I don't let people hurt my feelings any more sm
Was told years ago by a very good psychiatrist that we can control this ourselves - it is all about expectations. We let them hurt us - you had a higher expectation of her and when she did not deliver - she hurt you - so lower your expectation - realize she is weird (!!) that it was rather insulting - but don't let it hurt your feelings - and move on!! Kind of confusing I know - but it works
I agree with your feelings and opinions.
I LIKE MIKE, too. Wish he had a "snowball's chance".
Honestly I have mixed feelings on this.
On one hand...I feel it is your body, you can do what you wish. Who should say what you do with your body. Providing it is willing, agreeing, consenting adults, that should be their choice.

On the other hand...I think some, if not many, who get into prostitution, it is a bad life...they have low self esteem, no respect for themselves...and they are at their lowest and do not know what to do or where to turn. Many times they are so involved with drugs and alcohol, they can not think clearly.

But at the same time...the ones who are "low", are going to do what they can to make money....whether it is prostitution, selling drugs, stealing....illegal or not, they will do it if they are that desperate.

Heck, there are women and men out there selling thier bodies, making good money...or at least money...why not make it legal so you can tax them!

You sound like you share my feelings for
all these wondeful creatures.  Please know I said Monster in the most loving way!!!  We laugh at her constantly when she manipulates and tells us what she wants!  She is bound to get it, too.  If we give her something and she doesn't want it at the moment she will throw it out of her beak onto the floor and then sit with her head turned with one eye staring at it.  She sings because I sing to her a lot and that is just adorable.  She actually puts the vibration in her voice!  You are so right on about the emotions of animals.  They have needs and wants, and need to be loved and have companionship.  I think many times over about her future.  I wish I knew you and could work with you in caring for birds.  I think they so very special.  Keep up what you are doing.  You are really making a difference.
she is just expressing her feelings, do NOT BASH HER FOR THAT..
YOU HAVE SOME NERVE !!!!
But you are more concerned about her feelings than the life of your cats
Sounds like you care more for her dog and her feelings than your cats.  Sorry if your feelings are hurt for people getting upset with you but that is a lot less than what your cats felt.  There is no suggestion you can give her as it is apparent that she will not take them.  Plain and simple -- it will not stop and if you get more cats you are asking for it.  So either accept the situation as it and beware that it may next be you or your child or your dog or do something about and that is getting rid of the dog or keeping it in a fenced situation.  
Because it seems as though you are more concerned about her feelings than the life of an animal
Since you no longer have any cats there should be no problem until they attack a member of your family and then we can go through all of this again.  Why are her dogs more important than your cats -- because she treats them like children -- come on get realistic.  Not only were your cats providing a service for your family they were older and had been there longer and deserve better treatment and loyality than what you are giving them.  Again, since you no longer have cats and do not expect to get any more why do you need any solutions until these dogs do it to someone elses animals that will take action against them or your SIL.  And putting them in a 8 x 12 foot run is not that bad -- lots better then letting then "run at large".  Again I am just going by what your attitude --not much concern about the death of two cats but really concerned about hurting someone's feelings.  Good luck. 
FEELINGS. . . SOOOO sick of that stupid thing! NM
xx
Effexor caused strange buzzing feelings in my head when trying to stop it nm
x
My feelings; people shacking up together for years and years
and then all of a sudden deciding to get married don't need a thing, obviously. A shower should not even be given. I lived with my now husband a while (nowadays who doesn't!) before we married and I also had been married before years ago but he was not....so of course HIS mom wanted a shower. I told her absolutely not unless it was just the immediate family, his mom, sisters, etc, more like a celebration/get together. And so that's what we did. Showers are tacky, period. Unless it's a couple of young kids getting married straight out of the house and that doesn't happen much anymore.