Fair question. I have made choices in my life that sm
Posted By: Stay-at-home mom on 2007-07-08
In Reply to: I want to ask you something, please - Sadie
afford me to stay at home and work. When I say refuse, yes, I refuse to put my children in childcare because I can do so. I can choose to take them to a daycare provider, but i want to be their sole providers and protector always. I can do that. It is a luxury.
Now, do I look down upon moms and dads who use childcare? Absolutely not. My heart breaks for those moms who want to be at home with their children but for unforeseen circumstances they just can't. I understand that if I was in another situation where I couldn't work from home then they would be somewhere else, but then if that was the way it was I would not have had kids. My kids are 5 and 2. I've been doing MT for 9 years from home. So, you can do the math there.
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No excuse for it, but I'm sure Kim has made his life a living you know what.
nm
CHOICES
If you stay together what will it be like when the kids are gone? Will you be happy with him then? How old will you be then? Will there be a reason to stay with him then? Make two lists, one of all the reasons you should stay, one of all the reasons you should go. Make two more lists, one of all his good qualities, one of all his bad qualities. Put them in a drawer and get them out in a week and see if you feel the same about what you wrote. One other thing, did he have a girlfriend this time? Does he this time? Major cheater? If those last three are true then go home where there are people you can trust who are there for you no matter what. Work, take care of your children and enjoy them. Go to church, go to movies. Have a life. You could go to Marriage Encounter and I recommend it, but if he is a cheater and makes no solid committment to stopping then you need to consider this. What your children see you do now will stay with them and they will live their lives accordingly. I will pray for you. Save your money too because you never know when you may need to move your teepee to a new village.
You have a few choices -
Either learn to deal with it, meaning shut up or put up, or move. I think I would vote for the latter. There has got to be a better place to live than that drama factory. Life is too short!!!
Good choices
Some of the higher-paying career courses that may be available to many people in a 2-year or less course are:
Dental hygiene
Occupational therapist assistant
Physical therapist assistant
Surgical technologist
Lab tech
Coding (not the right choice for me, but for only about $4000 you could get job that pays very well and be in high demand).
Those tend to pay more than these below, and therefore a better investment than:
Medical assistant (may be a 9-month course or 2-year)
phlebotomist (but may be a 3-month course)
Your choices are to either be proactive and do something...
positive about your situation, which IMHO is to leave this mess or continue to live this sorry life and whine about it..in that case you are not a victim but an enabler and a contributor. Would you want your daughter to live like this? Would you want your son to treat his wife like this?
matter of choices
It's not just about protecting our children from being taught something that is wrong, something that goes against our moral fiber, something that this great country was founded on, our belief in God. It is also about standing up for our beliefs and not condoning something that is clearly sinful. You may not believe there is a God yet. That is your opinion. What makes you think that you were right in letting your child watch anything she wanted? So she turned out good. So did my children and they were raised to believe in God and his son Jesus Christ. The only difference is, when the time comes for Jesus to come back to this earth, your daughter will find that she has been cheated by being taught there is no God and perhaps will find herself in some serious trouble.
The kids may like those choices
but I don't think they're all that healthy. The salads and baked potatoes are good and probably the spaghetti, but everything else I would worry about. The Chic-Fila delivery is nice but probably should only be once a month. It's not just what these kids are eating in school; it's that most of them don't get a nutritional meal at home.
Fashion choices........ sm
My cousin and I were in a discussion this weekend and the topic came up about how so many younger people today are wearing their clothes way too tight and about 2-3 sizes too small. You know the tight tops, cut WAY too low, the too tight jeans, tops to short. On top of that, most of the offenders are way overweight!
Anyone have any comments about this? I see it all the time even in some in my own extended family. Jeans too tight, shirts too low, top nearly hanging out. They all look like clones. Not to mention the short tops wtih the "muffin top" hanging over the blue jeans! When did this get to be the fashion and the way to dress? It seems the style these days. I don't care what size a person is, big, little, in between, I think it looks terrible. Don't know how people breathe in these too tight clothes!
Any dialogue/comments out there?
Just adopt the dog or MOVE. Seriously. What other choices do you have!!?????
nm
current and past choices
Current: NCIS, Mad Men, Damages
Past: West Wing, Will & Grace, M*A*S*H, Shark, Golden Girls
Thanks for some good choices - I've seen some of these mentioned but
will definitely check out the others. Thank you!
We all have a free will and have to make choices every single day. Christian or not. sm
I am a devout Christian, believe in God 100%, but I must make good decisions every single day with regard to my health, family, finances, self, etc. You can't place blame on anyone (including God or others) when you continually make bad choices and bad things happen. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out. That rule works for non Christians too!
God is there to help us when we mess up. He's always there. An ever-present help in trouble. That's a comforting thought. God didn't want their water to be turned off. He doesn't wish for anything bad to happen to us, but just as if we have adult grown children we will allow them to go through certain things so that they might learn and grow. God does that with us, too!
You reap whatever you sow. I think most of the time it is our own choices and bad decisions that get us into hot water. Too many people cry foul when things go bad and not take responsibility. It's time for people to start growing up and taking responsibility for their lives and decisions. I was homeless at one time and have had a very hard life, so this isn't coming from someone who was given a silver spoon.
I have a life, a great life at that. I just happen to include my canine family
t
Office; Life on Mars; Lost; Life; Pushing Daisies
nm
My family made home-made mozzarella,
and it was very good. I was pretty small at the time, so I don't remember the exact process, just that it was done pretty quickly, and a lot of milk was used.
I don't know if you'll save a lot of money making your own cheese. The cost of milk is very high, too, and you need a lot of milk to make cheese.
Fair enough...
I was just wondering. Have a great day. 
Seems fair to me.
I'll perform it if no MD will.
maybe not fair
I think the problem comes from Christians being so sure we are right, we want to try to save the non believers. . . maybe we should just let everyone worry about themselves. . . it is a difficult subject. . I'm sure non believers are just as sure they are right. .
And I thank you for being fair.
x
Fair is fair, I mean.
Be fair sm
I learned in journalism class that a reporter must be fair. So would you say the same for Pepsi?
Just kidding - will have to look further into this. Water is very good for you. Don't get enough of it myself, although I do like a lot of tea, so I guess that makes up for the water consumption per day. Now if I could only drink the tea without sugar - that would be healthy. Try honey but kind of messy, usually give up on it, always in a hurry.
Fair enough...
There are reduced rates for low income families and other programs to feed the needy kids. If parents want their kids to eat, they should pay for it.
Is this fair or right?
On another board I frequent there is a discussion going on and I'd love to hear your take on it. It's about a possible law to have welfare recipients take urine tests (for drugs use) in order to receive payments.
You like? You hate? Why?
I am so sorry. It's just not fair! nm
x
Love the NYS Fair
I live about 15 minutes away and we go every year. This year we're going to the AI concert. It's an annual tradition for us since a few days after the fair ends school starts.
Going to the fair and also going fishing.
p
It's not really a fair comparison - that may be what she said to you (sm)
but although it may not be true about you it doesn't mean it isn't true about her. I am sorry she said that to you and I would never say any of that to my MIL or about her other than on here on an anonymous board. But thanks for your opinion.
OK, to be fair. I know if you adopt one SM
you must keep it in the house. That's one of the rules for adoption.
When thinking about it (I'm talking about racing dogs now), they are trained to run after a rabbit(?), so, yes, they probably MIGHT run after creatures, should get out.
It's just the thought of those poor dogs put to death because they are of no use to their owners, is horrifying to me.
No, I'm not a member of PETA. LOL!
That is not a fair resonse. I do all the ....sm
things a responsible owner should do. I keep my dog either in my house or in a fenced in yard. I have him vaccinated as I should. He is fed, bathed, and treated as he should be. I do everything I am supposed to. How can I not be a responsible owner? Just because of his breed. I don't think so. My dog has never been used to fight and will never be used to fight. If you don't own one and raise them properly you will never know the potential they have to be a loving dog. Personally a lot of people don't even know mine is a pit bull. He is either mistaken for a boxer lots of times or an american bulldog. Sometimes I am tempted to not correct them.
fair warning!!!! :)
The Wii is a blast! We bought one last year. Last week I bought Dance Dance Revolution 2 for it. It is extremely hard even on beginner! It will literally wear you out and if you are as out of shape as I am, plan on being very sore! LOL I really do like the Wii and plan on getting the fit later this summer. For us, it's something the entire family loves, except the b/f refuses to do the Dance Dance Revolution. LOL
Congrats on your quitting smoking! We are starting that as well. My b/f just started the Nicoderm patch. If he doesn't have too many side effects from it and it seems to work okay, I'm going to start it in a few weeks. I'm currently just cutting back right now. Cigarettes are getting so darn expensive. Marlboro are over $5 a pack and the fed tax increase of $0.62 starts April 1st. Illinois is trying to pass $1 tax on top of that. Pretty soon it's gonna be $7 for a pack of cigarettes. We've had enough.
Sorry to ramble! :)
Good luck to everyone quitting!
Doesn't seem fair.
I have 2 with balances on them. However, I have not used them in a while and have been paying at least minimum and more when I can on time. I don't know what we are going to do. Our mortgage or car payments are all paid up so we dont' have to worry about that but if this happens we may have to put a lein on our house and vehicles. Which brings me to another OMG. I don't know if our vehicles are going to be worth anything since now they are really pushing Hybrids. I don't know if they are going to make it a law or not, but if they do, it is another scary thing. How are we going to afford car payments. How is my mom, my MIL and my dad going to afford car payments like that when they only bring in $800 to$900 a month on their SS if even that.
I do have a bicycle, which i do plan on ridding more often but dang it hurts my legs and my tail to ride it.
ITs not fair, but it does negatively sm
affect your credit rating. Idon't get it. But if you listen to Suze Orman that is one of her big things she is always saying, don't close your accounts!
Fair enough! You mind your own uterus...
but if you don't mind it well and find yourself pregnant, you should have to pay for yoru abortion yourself. The government (and my tax dollars) should NOT fund abortion. I disagree with the procedure on moral grounds, so why should I fund it if you (or someone else) can't, as you put it, take care of their uterus?? Tell you what! You stay OUT of MY pocket and I will stay OUT of YOUR uterus!! Howzat??
That is an extremely fair pay and I would expect
them to do a great job for that. I have had the same problem with them starting out good and then having to go behind them like you said. I would first start out clearly stating what you want done and that you expect a good job consistently, even 6 months down the line. That is what I've been telling everyone I've talked to is that I need a consistent job each time.
Thanks for the info! Sounds fair to me. (nm)
New York State Fair
My husband and I went once twenty one years ago, before we were married, and then just last year finally took our nearly-grown kids after getting tickets to see James Taylor there. We had a ball and plan to do it again this year - every year at Labor Day. It's about a 2-1/2 hour drive for us, and well worth the effort, though I think we're going to get a hotel room instead of making it all in one day this time.
Let me guess, the 15 yo says, "It's not fair!"
I can hear it now, because I have three teenagers and I've been working with teens for years. I wish I had a nickel for every time I've heard a drawn out exclamation, "It's not faaaiiiirrr."
My opinion: The 15 yo doesn't need more clothes, the 8 yo does need the long sleeved shirts. Therefore, it IS fair to spend money on one and not the other. It wouldn't be fair if the older child received something he/she does not need simply because needed items are being bought for the younger child.
Kids are very poor judges of fairness when it comes to getting "stuff" that they want. They have a hard time discerning between what they want and what they need, and a good many of them have no real appreciation for how much effort parents put into earning money and providing for their children. The kids just want, want, and want.
You are the parent, you are the judge and jury when it comes to decided what they need and what your budget can handle. Here's an opportunity to really teach fairness.
And if the kid continues to whine about it, turn your back and walk away. It takes two to argue. Give your reasons for your decision ONCE and walk away. Don't be manipulated, or your child will learn to be a manipulator.
Now, if the 15 year old wants to go and earn money OUTSIDE of the house, or do some out-of-the-ordinary chore that you are willing to pay for, say clean the garage. That's another good lesson. Work, earn, achieve. But I don't pay out cash for regular everyday stuff that has to be done simply because we all live together. When you do that, then it's hard to get them to do regular chores if a child doesn't need money.
Hey, invite me to give an opinion, and that's just what I do!
Is it fair to attack her parenting?
I thought Christians weren't supposed to judge. Is it because she *let* her daughter make her own decision to become atheist? I can't stand hypocrisy. It's what starts wars.
Okay, this probably wasn't really fair - hint
Most people have never even heard of this movie so I will give you a hint.
Richard Lewis plays a less than confident surgeon.
"I was a field surgeon during the war. We'd work long hours. We'd eat while we operated. One time, there's this young soldier I was trying to save, he took a cannonball in the stomach. After 18 hours of surgery, I did it. Never felt better in my life. Until, just like that, the patient dies. Turns out I left half a bologna sandwich in his lung."
I certainly do my fair share of lying
but i can't say that i've ever really made up anything huge but nobody has ever really called me on it either. Maybe those I lie to are either just gullible or too nice to say anything about it or maybe not good at spotting a lie. I don't know, but I do know I lie a lot. Maybe it's because of my low self-esteem, and maybe that's why people don't really call me on it, because they pity me too much.
Absolutely fair, otherwise the money might
be spent for their habir.
fair living wages
What do you feel is a FAIR and REASONABLE rate to pay an employee medical transcriptionist?
For point of reference, yesterday I did some basic calculations.
In 1987, I was hired as a TOTALLY GREEN NEWBIE at 4 cpl. In 1988-1989 sometime, I got a raise to 4.4 cpl. My "guarantee rate" for 90 days after hiring was $7/hour. The minimum wage at the time was $3.35 I think. ($4-something maybe?) So my "guarantee rate" was approximately double the minimum wage. At 4 cpl, I needed to be typing 175 lph as a brand new fresh newbie! And amazingly enough, I only used my "guarantee rate" during my first pay period - every pay period after that, I was paid at my lph rate, not my guarantee rate! This was on an Selectric TYPEWRITER, not a computer!
Nowadays, MQ has a standard "guarantee rate" for 30 days instead of 90, and it's $10/hour. Their minimum line production is 100 lph, or 150 lph for full-benefit full-time employees.
I would like to discuss the following questions on a new forum: http://mtfallenstars.proboards.com/index.cgi Please join me there!
What has changed in our industry? Why has the line-per-hour rate gone down instead of up? Why is the guarantee rate now less than double minimum wage? Why do seasoned experts in the field consider it a good day to make $15/hour while newbies struggle to stay off food stamps?
1 vote per phone number would be fair...sm
that way they'd really know what people think and not who has the fanciest speed dial modems that casts hundreds of votes per phone line.
*time wasting* ?? Not fair statement
my company offered me 10 yearly, is that low/fair?
Thanks in advance...it is probably low but I will still take it. Was just hoping someone else would share their info
I'd have a lot more energy and inclination to consider that if I got 7 days of fair help with hou
y
Voting is more fair on the dancing show. You have a
nm
Do you attend a local state fair in the summer? How far
s
The fair thing would be to share it and split the prize - sm
good karma and all that. I try to do that though, I have had more bad than good lately. I am expecting a refund of an overcharge today in my account, bank informed me yesterday that the store (7-11) appeared to be refunding in full all four purchases I made on a particular day ( I am disputing 3 charges and only 1 of them partially as I did owe some of the money). If they do refund all I will end up with an extra $120. So if that ends up being the case I will do something with half of that to benefit someone else whether it be a school fundraiser, the local Goodwill, a charity I like to donate to, etc. I try to balance it all out, plus it is nice to be able to help others when you can.
for the life of me..........sm
I mean this just does not make any sense. I had an adjuster come out who looked to be right out of high school, looked at our roof, said it had a LOT more years left on it. I went right to the phone, called my company, said to send someone out that knew something about a roof. I got 3 estimates from roof companies and an estimate to redo one of our bathrooms where it was leaking through. When I threatened to go public with how many roofs were put on homes and checks paid in the field, at the owner's home, standing in their yard, and knew this folks didn't need a roof, then they actually gave me enough to replace our roof. If I sound bitter, I am. This is ridiculous. I cannot help a hurricane blew through, but one could argue spilling bleach in one's floor is their fault, not nature. My mother has an old home, over 90 years old. She has done the best she can with what she has, but when they came out and told her that she would have to pay a deductible to fix part of her room, and then another deductible to fix another part of her roof, because both problems didin't come from the hurricane (like they know this for fact), I blew a fuse. I went ballistic on them. She did get a check in the field from an adjuster at first, but it wouldn't even cover removing the old roof, let alone replacing it with a new one. After the hurricane, she had leaking in several rooms in her home. I pitched a hissy fit. They then came back out and I got a roofer to meet with them, and she then got enough to actually replace the roof and supposedly to fix the ceilings in her house....though I don't think it would cover all that. I called our state insurance commissioner and let into him.....I told him I would expose the garbage going on. People 1 to 2weeks after the storm getting all kinds of paid repairs, but those of us who had to wait later on down the line for an adjuster, were being told they couldn't find a problem. No, the money started flowing out like a river, and then after a few weeks, they start telling their adjusters to tell anyone else they don't see a problem. Bull!
Her life was more...
than Stephen King and John Grisham together could have conjured up. Maybe Howard Stern was a plant in her life by the millionaire's family or maybe someone else close to her was planted by his family. I don't know, but it is the most sensational story I've ever heard in my life.
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