Emotional upset and stress. Such as reading MT
Posted By: Stars posts??? lol nm on 2008-01-19
In Reply to: Triggers - Lilly
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Boy, if stress is the trigger, I'm surprised I'm not one big blister. Stress is my middle name
and MT-ing is my game..
i need some emotional support
Not sure how much of DH yelling I can take. I work 2 jobs. Yesterday I had to put in 5 hours for one. DH is supposed to help with the kids. Well, his level of helping yesterday was just sitting in his chair and yelling at them to stop doing this or that. He said about 5 times that my 15-mo had a dirty diaper. I had the attitude like “well go change it, I am working.” He never changed it and I don’t know how long she stayed in that dirty diaper but by the time I got to changing her, she was red. Then I went to help my 5 year old with her Valentines. She did 20 Valentines and she insisted on doing them herself. It took her 2 hours but she did it all. I was proud of her and amazed. Dh kept hollering for us to get through because he wanted some Ice cream. I told him since he can drive he can go get it himself. He got mad and started yelling. My 15 MO kept bothering us. I got some toys to try to help distract her and it would work for a little bit but then she would pester us some more. I told dh to keep her distracted and he shouted “WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO.” WHY ARE YOU ACTING THIS WAY? WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? I told dh that she acts like she is hungry, has she had anything to eat. “she has been eating popcorn all after noon” I knew better than to ask him anymore so I got up and started to go find her something to eat and he yelled “SIT DOWN” and gave me a look that could kill.
I told dh that I just don’t know how to deal with him anymore. I feel he is angry with me or resentful. When we first got married, his Mommy was practically sleeping in between us. She balanced our check book, she went through or mail to see what bills had to be paid, still does, she has to know everything about what we are doing. She and dh are best friends. MIL went on all the vacations with us and it was always where dh wanted to go and MIL always loved where dh wanted to go. When I had the kids, it had to be all about her. I told dh thiat if this sick business did not stop, I was leaving. It stopped. Poor MIL don’t get to see her DGK anymore. Boo hoo hoo, (coming from dh and MIL). I am so mean. This is all another story.
One minute dh says he loves me, then next he treats me like this. My family, unfortunately, loves dh. He doesn’t act like this around them. He is no niceeee and MIL is so niceeee.
I have to go. I got to get my kids up and ready for school.
Emotional support
Sounds like you are carrying the load yourself. It's amazing how men are so insensitive and wrapped up in themselves. You basically have to hit them over the head with a baseball bat to get any sense into them. Obviously, if you were working and you have little ones running around and needing care, how hard can it be for him to jump in there and do what needs to be done? Hang in there. Maybe you can try talking to him and spelling out for him what you expect from him when you are working, especially with the kids. Good luck!
I was so emotional did not notice and SM
made mistakes in mine as well. No problem. I think we got our point across. I wish you and me could team up and wipe some of the needless suffering and abuse out. 
Emotional Blackmail
Emotional Blackmail is all this is. People use it to control and manipulate and they get away with it because it has worked in the past. We have a similar situation in our family (not husband) and it is emotionally and physically draining. I really feel for you because I know how these types of people can consume your life. You know the answer to your question, it's just how to make it happen. That's the hard part. It's almost like we let it happen because we are just exhausted and we know something should have been done years ago. Sometimes we feel it's our fault too because we allowed it. Boot him out! He will cry fake tears, cut himself with a toothpick, swallow some Tums, but eventually, if you hold your ground, he will catch on!
You seem to be a very emotional, overimpulsive
person. I counted over 20 exclamation marks at the end of your 1-word post. Is this neceassary?
Still, I believe as a parent or friend or whatever you can use whatever expression you want to use, but for a teacher it is NOT o.k.
It is imposing and intruding.
When teacher say that they sometimes address the pupils with terms of endearment, because they do hot remember their names (?), there is a question for this: 'What is your name?'
It seems to me that teachers who call the pupils by 'endearing' expressions, need some endearing themselves!
Men just are not the emotional creatures that women are--sm
like another poster stated, if he was not like this before marriage, he never will be. However, you should still talk to him. He cannot do on his own what he does not know you want from him. He will never do it *on his own* because he does not know that is what you expect. He is not a mind reader. If you don't talk to him about this, you are going to end up resentful of him and your relationship will not last. You sound like you want him to treat you like a baby instead of a wife. Maybe you should reevaluate what your expectations are from a marriage.
blatant emotional abuse
You say he is out and about all the time with work or just doing fun stuff.
Talk to an attorney then, when he leaves the next time, have the separation papers filed and put his rear end out. He has probably already talked to an attorney if he is trying to talk YOU into taking the kids and leaving.
A judge is going to be more favorable toward keeping the kids in their home.
His abusive behavior toward you touches on the kids emotional health too.
Give him the boot girl!
11-year-old boys - always this emotional? sm
My son is 11 and he seems to cry lately about little things...he has to take a shower, he gets teary-eyed. He can't find the shirt he wants to wear because it is in the laundry....tears up. He argues about not wanting to take a shower, and is extremely picky about which clothes he will wear. He wants to let his hair grow longish, which is fine with me, but he then wants to brush it all into his face and almost hide behind it. The last time I had him get his hair just trimmed a little he cried beforehand and said "I'm already fat, I at least want my hair to be cool." He is barely chubby, not fat at all, and brushing his hair in his face doesn't look cool. I am all for kids having "cool" hairstyles and I buy him the type of clothing he wants, but he decides a week later that he no longer likes the shirt or shoes I just bought a week before when he really liked it. Is this normal?
I personally think the funeral is what makes you an emotional wreck.
Funerals compound the grief for me. The dark lighting, the sad music, the morbid displaying of a dead body in the casket! No way for me. I hope to God my parents don't want funerals.
Memorial service, no problem.
I think the traditional funeral service is antiquated and just makes things worse.
Needing A Mental/Emotional Jump Start
You good people are probably as good to ask as anybody although if we had a philosophy board, it might be better. My question is Why? Why are we killing ourselves? And I mean this in the broader sense than just the MT industry. I have an ex (46 years old) who is an alcoholic. He lives waaaaaaay out in a very rural area. He owns his own house, land, and a lot of horses, something he acquired 20 years ago when he had a really really good job. He has a regular income now of about $1000/month from CDs, primarily funded from an industrial accident about 10 years ago.
Anyway, neither he nor any of his friends work. They sit around, start drinking at noon and light their first joint, and just drink steadily until passing out around 2 AM. They play horseshoes, cribbage, shoot pool, shoot the breeze, joy ride, poach deer, etc. His house is kind of a dump (jiggle the toilet handle, turn on the tub water with pliers, no windows that open) and lots of projects undertaken while drunk, some done, many half finished. As they say, the Lord provides for fools and drunks, and that seems to be the case here, as he never goes hungry, has never had to do without his vices because of money, etc. Somehow, something always falls into his lap when he needs it, and I'm not talking $20...he'll rent a chunk of land to a farmer for several K and gets all caught up, or he sells some old fencing and gets a grand. He bought a couple of timeshares years and years ago so he takes these great vacations a couple of times a year where the lodging is only $150/week.
I had to leave because I just couldn't stand the lifestyle (I don't drink, smoke pot, or shoot pool), but I'm wondering why. I'm killing myself working 2 jobs to keep the roof over my head and maintain even a meager quality of life, and while I don't have the drunken projects he does, my house is no palace. If it weren't for my kids chipping in and helping, my car would have been reclaimed by the finance company a couple months ago.
So I'm having a hard time hanging on to my motivation lately. There's probably some jealousy involved, but it's also making me wonder why I bother. If I really wanted to, he would probably take me back and there are moments that I wonder 'Why not?'. What is wrong with the way he is living? Footloose and fancy free without a care in the world?
How do you find the strength/will to go on plugging away when it would be so easy to fall into the idiot/drunk category and just the Lord take care of everyday existence like he does for the ex?
Stress when is enough enough?
Wanted to gab to get some feedback. Right now, it seems like everywhere this MT turns there's stress. DH going through final hearing for child support his ex won't pay for years, she threatening to take the kids away so he has to pay child support, etc. I just switched jobs within the last year, and although I am doing well the one I chose, it has been really stressful trying different MTSOs out to find the right one, or the fairest one. Top it off, my 2nd computer in 6 months just died today and my lovebird cage just fell down from the ceiling wrecking the living room, the cage, and scaring me and the birds half to death. Last week, when my son went for visitation, he wanted to stay home and not go with his dad, he screamed so loud the police chased his dad down in the car, and they came here to make sure he was not a kidnapper. I am not kidding! Look, I am not looking for pity. It just seems that as I sit here and write this to you (who I don't even know), that since I work at home transcribing 6 days a week, am fully involved with my son at home and step kids all the time (no life outside the house to speak of anymore) I am absolutely at a ridiculous point of stress. Any happy coping suggestions in response to this sad situation other than, go to the "mental health board," or "get a life..." etc. Thanks in advance for your kind comments. Just a sister MT trying to cope with job and home and trying to find advice from anyone who has "been there." Thanks.
STRESS
I am so sorry to hear about your friend (coworker). I cry with you. I hope and pray that you can find someone at your facility that will see what is happening and help you make changes!!!
Why can't anyone realize that the stress we face is great?
God Bless You and your other coworkers!!
christmas stress . . .
Due to the high stress nature of my husband's and my parents, we no longer tell them about the children's school events ( I know, sounds horrible, doesn't it?). My husband's father, whom we see three times a year, and has absolutely NO relationship with our children, called the school and found out when their concert was. He and his wife showed up last night, sat in front of us, he said two words to my husband (his son) all night long. When we got home last night and wanted to decorate the tree, my husband blew a gasket. He cannot handle it. It bothered him SO much that his dad showed up that he screamed and yelled at us until my daughter and I were in tears and my sons wanted him to leave. My daughter, lying in bed crying while I tucked her in said "we do this every year, mom". In order to get a grip on the kind of relationship my husband and his father have I would have to go on and on. basically, he adopted my husband when he married my husband's mother years ago. They split up the year we got married. My husband tried very, very unsuccessfully to maintain a relationship with him over the years and finally came to a point where he gave up. We have awkward moments and conversation when we are together. We have nothing in common, they don't really care about the kids, because they are not there to actually spend time with them and get to know them. We prayed for my husband last night, and my daughter asked me if something happened in his childhood. How do I get my husband to deal with this so we don't have to go through this every year?????
My solution to your stress
just BEAT HIM. LOL. J/K of course.
I would be upset too. Look for another company to go through. Unreal.
you are in posttraumatic stress right now--sm
go to the ER. Have someone drive you, if you feel you may leave the car running again. They will be sympathetic and guide you as to what is appropriate care for you. I feel your pain! My children's father took his own life on Father's Day two years ago and a cousin of mine took his own life less than a month later. I know the feeling, believe me. You will get better though, trust me. good luck to you and keep us all informed. you need compassionate friends right now, too. {{hugs}}
stress causes it too, my child has it....
and is also on metformin which causes more problems....has been to the GI doc who is really not much help....in this case, stress causes it...child doesn't drink....26 y/o.....
hope you feel better.....google IBS - you'll learn how to cope/deal....
stress, work, stress, work, stress, work
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What do you do for stress relief?
I am having a tough time blowing off steam lately and looking for some stress relief ideas...some for in the moment and some for just routine daily/weekly life stress.
I am pregnant so moods are crazy and I am just having difficulty letting go of even the smallest of things. Looking for some pointers, ideas, suggestions.
My garden tub used to do the trick but now that I work until late at night and have a child home from school for the summer, it is difficult to find the time for that or mani/pedis which I also used to enjoy.
stress reduction
My ex-hub wrote some papers while he was doing his PhD in psychology on stress reduction. I typed his papers both before and after we were divorced. It made sense to me. One of the things he said that you work all week to make a paycheck to pay your bills. He said you have to consider yourself "a bill out of your paycheck that needs to be paid" just like any other bill that you owe. You need to pay a bill owed to yourself for hard work in the form of whatever you can afford out of each paycheck no matter what the amount that you may deem to afford meaning a new outfit, pedicure, meal out, movie, whatever makes you relaxed and feel happy. Set an amount aside even if it is just $20-$25. It gives you something to looks forward to. We have been divorced for 15 years, but I still remember this and still do this. It makes me feel good because I know I have to pay this bill to myself and it makes me feel good.
I wouldn't stress.
I had my baby natural childbirth. It really wasn't so bad. By the time it gets to where you can't stand it anymore, it's time to push. When you push through a contraction, you don't feel pain anymore just pressure. During labor I just kept thinking, this time tomorrow I will be holding my baby.
While I was pregnant, friends and family delighted in telling me their horror stories about childbirth. Don't listen to them. Everyone's experience is different. I figured if it was that bad everyone would only do it once, right?
I did take my sister's advice though. She's an RN on L&D and she said the nurses are there to help you, don't get mean and nasty with them or they will go away and only come back when they have to.
My friend had an epidural and suffered from severe headaches for months afterwards. I've heard of women having back problems, leg problems with them. I don't think I would ever advise anyone to get an epidural.
Yes, definitely a stress point in a marriage....sm
As for taking charge, I think we have to as they simply wont. I mean someone does need to be "in charge" so to speak...it is their place to be "head" of the house, but most dont take that place, they dont want that place, the responsibility that it brings.
I often think of the fact that if I died while my children are young they would have to live with my sister....seriously. He would not be able to take care of them, and not talking just financial, he literally would not be able to take care of them. It is sad to feel like that about it. Just how it is.
You're not weird. Maybe you can stress that you'd like it to be just old
s
They are big-time stress reliever!
I play what my brother calls 'girly' games - Final Fantasy, tetris, etc. I also have a couple murder mystery-type games, but I have to watch playing them when I'm home alone because I'll scare myself! I know it's pathetic but some of those games have things that jump out at you! I guess that's why I stick to the 'girly' games! LOL
Anybody have stress bother them and then get sick?
Ever since I have been stressed over a certain situation in transcription, and my family's budget I have become extremely tired and it is really hard to get my line count. Every day as the pressure builds regarding this my line count gets lower, no matter how hard I try. Anybody in this situation or ever been, I'd appreciate advice. I am trying stress busters, exercising, reading books, taking time to go outside, but nothing is working.
Every time I sit down to type, I just get more and more worried and I can't produce! It is like my heart is going on strike against the position I have because there are problems with the situation and it makes my money situation even worse. My husband is very understanding but this has got to stop. I want to feel good about my job again and my production. If you say get another job, I understand about that, but what about until the other job starts, what do I do? Arrrggggg. I know life is no picnic but it could at least provide piece of mind so I can do my job! Thanks in advance for any and every suggestion or advice. It will be well appreciated
If she's such a good kid, why stress her more by making her pay
for car/gas/insurance? I think that making good grades and having extracurricular school activities are enough. If she has to work also then something might slip, probably her grades. My girls, now 30 and 33, did theater, choir, drill team and we took care of the car. They did not turn out to be slackers. Maybe taking her siblings to school and running errands is enough of a payment.
Believe it or not, my favorite stress reliever is
SEX. Seriously.
Anyone on Lexapro for stress and anxiety?
Do you like it? Is it working for you?
Stress - thanks all for yesterday - got the Bach and the multi-Bs (sm)
Still stressing but feeling much better today. Didn't get out until 8 pm last night to make my purchases and still had a rough night, but this morning I am much calmer. Thanks to everyone who had any comments or suggestrions - I really needed you guys yesterday and appreciate you being there!
I would say that you have every reason to have panic attacks what with all the stress you've SM
been under. I take Effexor XR for my painic attacks and atenolol to help control my BP and it keeps my heart rate down. The combination works wonderfully, although I wonder if I've become a little too dependent on it as I sometimes get a little anxious at the thought of being without my Effexor.
I would have periodic episodes of anxiousness going all the way back to my teenage years, but I would always work through it myself. Then a year ago, in the midst of marital trouble and feeling alone as I lived two states away from friends and family, I started having what I now know to be gallbladder pain while I was at work. In my mind, I knew I wasn't having a heart attack, the pain was in my right rib cage and radiated around to my right scapula. But I couldn't seem to convince my body. My heart started racing, my mind was racing. I felt dizzy and short of breath. I went to the employee health nurse who took my BP and it was sky high. She immediately rushed me to the ER which freaked me out even further.
Long story short, I was having a full blown panic attack and I hope that I never experience anything like that again. I ended up crying for three weeks straight, was afraid be left alone, was afraid to leave my house, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, would pace the house with my heart racing, not able to calm myself down.
I saw three different doctors before I found a female doctor who listened to me and told me she knew exactly what I was talking about because her daughter had panick attacks too. She started me on Effexor and set me up with a therapist who taught me breathing techniques and meditation techniques to help calm myself when I feel anxious. One technique, as simple as it sounds, is something I practice almost daily which is deep breathing: in through your nose and out through your mouth and as you exhale allow your body to relax starting from the shoulders down. It seems silly, but it really works. I noticed that I clenched my jaw a lot and so that is were I focus my mind when I'm trying to relax. I focus on the tension in my jaw and start relaxing from there down.
Exercise is another great technique for relieving anxiety and stress. All the experts say that, and it's true. Just getting outside and walking can clear the mind.
Well, I've rambled on and on. Sorry about that. Let me just add one more thing, if you decide to try medication, my advice would be to be patient. Sometimes it takes a few different trials of medication before you find the one that fits. My doctor explained to me that panick attacks are caused by an overactive fight or flight response in the brain and so SSRI antidepressants like Zoloft or Celexa won't do the trick. You have to have a NRI (norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor) to calm the response.
I'm not saying you need medicine, but I am saying that you may want to get a handle on it now so you don't have to go through what I did. I can't even explain how horrible it feels to have your mind spinning of control. I felt like I was genuinely losing my mind.
Well, anyway I feel for you and I wish you well.
I'm one of the few Grinches here who agrees with you. Enough w/the stress & extra calories in the
s
I agree. Hand him the headphones to have a listen. And stress how
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I think finances and stress ALL play a huge part in this. nm
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Definitely stress. Cops said once that Xmas eve with alcohol & money
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Stress to vet office this is urgent or call emerg. vet.
x
Get some B-stress vitamins, Bach Rescue Remedy spray (sm)
Valerian Root to help you sleep. If all else fails ask the doc for something temporary for stress. I have been so stressed out before I couldn't stand it. Best wishes to you! I hope things get better soon. Take a day off!! A mental health day! Be lazy, take a hot bath, take a long walk.
I am so upset...
Just need to express a little;
On my way home from a nice lunch with my DH, I saw a horrible car accident where a teen girl T-boned a car and killed the driver of the car. I am beside myself with emotion right now. The poor girl flipped out when she learned that the other driver was dead, literally running across 4 lanes of traffic and collapsing in a fastfood restaurant parking lot. My heart is breaking still for her as well as the other driver's family and friends.
I have a teen daugther chomping at the bit to get her license and I DONT WANT HER TO...just because of stuff like this.
Please remember these families in your prayers. This young girl has a long, hard road ahead of her I'm sure...not to mention the other driver's family...
I am so upset
Vehicles are not necessary or permitted at U.S. Naval Academy where son went until beginning of senior year. Daughter went to self-contained college campus in Maryland. Family member helped w/transportaiton when necessary. Raised 5 children. Shelter, food, clothing necessary expenses, vehicles & exhorbitant insurance for teens not necessary. Check the stats on young drivers ages 16-25. Then decide if you want your your teen driving. It helps a lot if they pay their own way or at least part. Def driving helps some. Raised 5 children. Lot of parents want the kids to drive so they don't have to be bothered.
I would be VERY upset...
and I'd let her know it too...whatta scrooge! Like the other poster, I'd go to the principal about this. She way overstepped her boundaries on this one. I am so sorry this happened right here at the holidays. Hope y'all enjoy Christmas anyway!
does this upset you? then do something about it.
nm
Like I'm not upset enough. . LOL
Hey everyone, HELP me! I had a bat hanging on the edge of my sofa when I came down from my break at 12:30 p.m. to go to the mall for my iced tea. I called the guy down in the apartment downstairs and he came up and let's just say took care of it. I was in tears! Don't like anything to be hurt, but I floze out about such things. I have bad eyes, and when I came down the steps I thought, what's that black sock doing on the side of my sofa. Then I remembered socks don't have wings! Beam me up! I'm still upset! LOL!!! This past week has been the week from
H E double hockey sticks!!!!! I need an Ativan the size of a hub cap! Just wanted all my MTs to know if could get worse. . . IT JUST DID.
The guy who helped me is so tall he kinda looks like Herman Munster without the bolt, which is scary enough!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is nice, though and thank goodness he was there. Have a good day, guys! 
Yes, and she was VERY UPSET
about what?? Cause she got caught? DUH. Man o Man. I cannot understand this at all. Well she should be going to jail like Paris did but for longer. Anyone of us in this same situation would still be in jail right now and would be going to jail for years with the drug possession charges from now and in May. Cannot wait for this to go to trial.
You have every right to be upset
but what is done is done and the best thing to do would be to take her to a GYN, get her on birth control, talk openly about safer sex practice and you can still let her know your disappointment but don't dwell on it. She may feel he is the "one" for her, but if he truly is a loser, she will figure that out in time, especially with the help of her friends...peer pressure is what gets them into the situation in the first place. I don't think you sound controlling...you just sound very disappointed for your daughter. Good luck.
Upset
I'm upset and never thought about that.....I just want my kids to be happy.....but he seems to think that the grass is greener on the other side, but once he finds out that it is not....he will back....but in the meantime....he will not have a key to my house to come and go as he pleases.....thanks for responding....
I for one do not see why others get so upset by
screaming and yelling in every situation. I understand the basic concept and the I-net rules and stuff, but honestly one or two words capped in a paragraph IMO hardly consistute yelling and screaming. I took it more as a way to stress a word or phase. Everyone needs to chill a little I think, including the OP.
Why are you getting so upset?
You stated a fact and apparently do not wish to hear what others are saying about how credit plays a big part in job situations (your credit probably pulled on a job before to check you out) and other parts of life. The bank does not have a part in your son's lack of money and being unable to pay his bills. Those are their rules and why you should continue to blast others for telling it like it is, I don’t know.
Why am I so upset?
Because you posters are equating being unemployed with being a thief or an embezzler. You'd be upset too if people called your son a thief.
I have never come across the problem with checking credit because my husband's and mine has always been excellent. I guess you learn something new every day, about life and about people who can be so vile while hiding behind a computer.
I would also be upset,
and I don't think you are being selfish at all. I have no advice or suggestions. I just wanted to let you know that I think you have every reason to be upset. With blessing across the miles, I pray for you. :)
You have every right to be upset....sm
And yes that has happened to me. Not all the time but it has. I have an 11 year old son and last year he did not wish me happy mothers day and didn't want anyone to take him to get me a card or anything. But when fathers day comes he always tells his dad happy fathers day and asks me to take him to buy him a gift. Yes, it hurts my feelings but I know my son worships his dad. I'm just mama. BUT this year, my son was different. He asks my mom to help him get me a gift and she did. He told me happy mothers day so I was happy. My husband wished me HMD but didn't get a card or nothing.
Yes, it hurts my feelings and I let my husband know it did but oh well. My husband can be a real a-- sometimes and then again he can be the nices guy ever. He has 2 different personalities.
No, it's okay! I wasn't upset or anything,
just was confused when I couldn't find it. I wanted to post all that so hopefully anyone having these problems could maybe try the same thing.
Firefox is letting me into every site I use though, so crossing my fingers it continues.
Thanks for the tip about the degfrag. I haven't done it and will. :)
Not upset here. Just said I thought
it was RUDE and I could care less if he is or isn't gay. I do not care if it was planned ahead of time or not.
I turn this show on for the talent aspect, but it is becoming less and less of the American Idol show but more about a popularity contest, putting people down, etc, etc. It is all about RATINGS and frankly the whole show is becoming a big JOKE. JUDGES and all
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