Electronics addiction

• Oh, so ladies not the only ones who do this - Caught!
  • Electronics addiction - Not alone
  • too cute! - nm

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filters cut off for more strength....to answer your question.

I wish someone had stopped me - folks gave permission at a young age....because they were smokers.....I have never quit except in pregnancy....but I quit buying over 3-1/2 months ago, still smoke but ask others for one....and I cut back smoking by 75 percent and THAT's something because I no longer even cough the way I used to, my house smells GREAT (smoking outside only).....and I sound better (because I really am better - health-wise).

It is MOST definitely a drug addiction, as bad as any of them, as addicting as any of them........so the post was right on about *hearing it is as strong as a heroin addiction* - I tell kids today, that's exactly what it is...........................because it is.

My only suggestion is to show her pictures (found online even, just Google the subject/topic/question) of what lungs look like in smokers versus nonsmokre, and then find some head and neck surgical oncology site and start showing her pictures there (I worked in a surgical oncology HEAD AND NECK dept for a few years and what I saw was definitely sickening and yet, I too, still smoke *slaps self*)

My children (due to the fact I used above tactics) - NEVER smoked (thank goodness!!!!).

Best of luck to her and you!!! 

Wow, you sure are trusting after seeing such a big change in behavior.  I hope you don't get what I got:  the greatest guy I could've wanted (good, prominent family, $, respect, the works).   I won't fill in all the frills I got, but they were plenty, and I thought I was set. for life.  And yes, he did love me dearly.

The thing I came to learn was that he had a porn addiction.  It's something I've never experienced, and really hadn't typed about, either.  I'm no fool, and had been with plenty of men before him, as we got married later than most, but this was a first for me.  In the end it ruined our marriage.   My point is that when you see strange things happen, don't poo-poo it.  Only you know if something is amiss, and I believe you do.  I hope I'm wrong, and I certainly hope you don't have to face what I did.  It sickens me to think about the details of all that chapter, but now that we're no longer "one," I know that I can't fix him, and as long as he doesn't acknowledge his problem, he won't, either.  Ironically, even now I'd be as supportive as possible if he were to shed the demons that are eroding him to his core, but he'll be the first to tell the world that there's nothing wrong with him.

Just something to think about.  I hope you don't end up the way I did.  I'm just glad I don't have all that anxiety anymore, and we're actually friends (or something like that).

Good luck.

Our marriage has suffered terribly because of his addiction.  Actually, I should say my love for him has suffered terribly because of his alcoholism.  He is totally dependent on me and I have come to feel more like his mother than his wife.  I make the money, pay the bills, take care of our children, basically run the house.  He's either always looking for a job or working as a self-employed used engine and transmission salesman/mechanic barely making any money at all.

Recently, I told him I didn't love him anymore and that I was tired of taking care of him.  So he entered rehab as a way to win me back and prove his love for me.  He calls me at least 20 times a day from rehab.  If I don't answer, he will call repeatedly every two minutes or so until someone answers or he has to go back to group or class or whatever. 

He will get out of rehab at the end of this month and fully expects to come back home and provie that he is changing.  My problem is this, I don't want him to come home.  I have enjoyed the peace I've had with him gone (save for the constant phone calls).  However, I fear that if I am honest with him and tell him over the phone that I don't want him back, this will affect his sobriety and basically he will see no reason to finish rehab and remain sober.  He tells me repeatedly that he is doing this for me.  I've told him he should be doing it for himself or at the very least, his kids and he will just agree with me and change the subject.

He's not a bad person.  He just has his problems and I'm tired of feeling like I have this anchor around my neck all of the time.  While he's been gone I've enjoyed spending time with my kids.  I've gotten together with my girlfriends for dinner and movies and just had girls' night out.  I've spent time visiting my mom and sister and helping my niece plan her upcoming wedding.  Without my husband around, I've just feel free to have fun and do stuff for me.

How can I tell him that I want a divorce without feeling responsible for affecting his rehabilitation?  How would you handle it?