Easy for men to decide
Posted By: but how much of the work will they do? on 2008-12-27
In Reply to: How do you decide to have a baby? - feeling selfish
Some guys are good dads - willing to pitch in and help take care of the child's needs, and give it plenty of time and attention.
There are quite a few guys out there that like the IDEA of a child - as long as it doesn't cramp their style. This means it all devolves upon the mother - care of the child 24/7, criticism from him and his family if you aren't doing it their way, but of course any bragging rights are all theirs.
Then there are the demands of academia - when your child gets sent home with a backpack full of paperwork to review on a nightly basis, whose job will that be?
Another thought is the possibility of divorce down the road - what happens then? Quite a few dads who let mom do all the work suddenly become superdad when the thought of child support comes along, and they will do anything to win custody so that YOU have to pay THEM. Even if you win custody, the head games with visitation schedules, daddy's new girlfriend pushing her way into the picture, etc. never end.
Be careful. Having a baby to stroke a man's ego can get very messy very fast. Its a huge responsibility and too often the mother does all the work and the father takes all the credit. Take the worst case scenarios into consideration before you decide.
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Let us know what you decide - nm
nm
I think you should tell them and let them decide what they want to do.
My husband died six months ago suddenly and unexpectedly. My niece, who just turned 12, has always been extremely close to my husband and me, and spends a lot of time at our house. LIke your children, she had never experienced death in a close relative before. The day he died, my brother and sister-in-law picked her up from school and broke the news to her. She was sad of course and she cried for quite a while.
Her parents gave her the choice of what she wanted to do in regards to go to the funeral home and/or attend the funeral. She chose to come to the funeral home and sit with me, and to attend the funeral.
She later wrote on the subject when the class had to write an essay at school about a life altering event. She wrote about how much she loved her uncle and she felt that was her last chance to say goodbye, as she didn't get to say goodbye before he died. She was sad that he died suddenly and she didn't know ahead of time, and that seemed to hurt her a lot, even though nothing could change that.
As for me, her presence at that time made me feel a little better. My husband's death has made she and I even closer. She's very smart and mature for her age. She knows sometimes when I get a little sad, that I'm thinking of my husband, and she totally understands, cause she still misses him too.
I know this is kind of rambling, but I hope it makes sense. I think kids want to be a part of our experiences, the good and the bad, and I think to exclude them, even when you think you're protecting them, makes them feel left out.
Good luck to you and your family. My prayers are with you.
So then why take any drugs at all? Or why not let's just decide which
x
Couldn't decide whether to
laugh or vomit with that story!
if you decide to give
my suggestion would be to get something bigger than 0-3 months. they go through that stage so quickly and lots of people give that size.
How do you decide to have a baby?
This is different for EVERYONE I'm sure, but in general, if any of you are mothers... did you decide the time was right, did it just happen... did you plan?
I've been told if you wait until you can afford to have children, you'll never have them...
The predicament is this. my future husband is ready to have a baby now. He wants to be a father, and as much as this makes me fall in love with him all over again, I joked with him that his biological clock was ticking and he said in all seriousness, that he guesses it is. However, mine is not. Not now. Will this happen to me? Does it happen to every woman at some point? We are in our late 20s, but I am just asking in general, how do you compromise on something as big as having a baby? I do want a family and children, but I guess I'm just looking for people's stories on this one... Thank you!
How do you decide to have a baby?
This is different for EVERYONE I'm sure, but in general, if any of you are mothers... did you decide the time was right, did it just happen... did you plan?
I've been told if you wait until you can afford to have children, you'll never have them...
The predicament is this. my future husband is ready to have a baby now (when i say now, we would wait until after marriage). He wants to be a father, and as much as this makes me fall in love with him all over again, I joked with him that his biological clock was ticking and he said in all seriousness, that he guesses it is. However, mine is not. Not now. Will this happen to me? Does it happen to every woman at some point? We are in our late 20s, but I am just asking in general, how do you compromise on something as big as having a baby? I do want a family and children, but I guess I'm just looking for people's stories on this one... Thank you!
So who gets to decide what is illegal and what is not? You? sm
That's a slippery slope. Like the poster below who wants sugar taxes - actually that's not a bad idea since sugary drinks and snacks are making our kids fat. Let's see - then we should tax fast food or control the amount that fatties can eat, right?
Where does it end?
Still trying to decide whether to have a hysterectomy. See message
I posted last week about my dilema about whether to have a hysterectomy or not after my left ovarian cyst (which was removed along with ovary) came back with a pathology report stating papillary serous tumor, borderline. Doctor says I should have hysterectomy for "insurance" and preventative measures. However, according to their group discussion, my tumor was borderline, but "more on the benign side". I am so confused. I'm 42 and I don't want to have a hysterectomy, but yet, I don't want to have a problem with cancer either. I have the option to follow every six months. Is this safe? Am I better off getting a hysterectomy? I just don't know what to do!!!!
So even animals help decide our fate???
Where did you read this or learn about this? I've never heard that animals will speak for or against us on judgement day...interesting. Guess I'm in the clear, I don't do animals, don't own them, don't abuse them, don't like 'em!
Be careful if you decide to wean
and hand feed with formula and syringe. Don't know about your type of birds, but I have a parrot that I hand fed with a syringe and the breeders instructed me and watched me do it myself to be sure I was doing it correctly before they let me take him home. Apparently you can kill them if it goes down the wrong way, but it was really easy feeding him. Maybe there's somebody in your area who is a bird expert you could talk to?
I re-read, so you do live together - you have to decide if he is (sm)
going to function as a dad or not, and if so, you need to BOTH be involved in decisions, not just him. If he is not going to function as dad, he should not be involved in conferences at all.
Mercy is for God to decide - she should rot where she lays
I posted below - but have more to say. She needs to rot where she lies. That may sound harsh but I have no compassion for her and anyone else involved in those horrendous crimes they committed. "Charles Mansion brainwashed me" or whatever it is she claims. Oh brother - let me get my violin out. She knew what she was doing. You would think at some point while she is in the act of doing the horrendous things she did she would think somewhere in her pea brain - wait a minute, this is not right, and she could have easily sneaked out or called the police or something. I lived across the whole country (east coast) and still felt the horror that happened to them. It was hard growing up knowing that those pieces of garbage were out there and it could have happened to any of us just as easily. They just happened upon that house. I had nightmares because of it. Between that and the Hillside strangler and all the other creeps out there, it was hard not to have nightmares. She committed the crimes and she needs to do her time. She had no mercy for Sharon Tate and her unborn child and she so much as said so. Why she would think the court should have mercy on her. Brain tumor? Good and I hope its a very painful death for her. I always say do unto others. If she committed torture, then she should be tortured. The only one she should be asked Mercy for is from God. Maybe she should contact Roman Polanski and ask him if he thinks she should be let out early. "I would like to be out one day" Give me a break! I'm sure Sharon Tate and the other people would have liked to live. They should tell her and her family that they have no right in asking to be let out. I don't care if she can't sit up in bed. That is her problem. In fact I think they should post all the crime scene photos in her cell and let her look at those day after day and say until she dies and tell her this is why you are not being let out. Besides, if she has brain cancer who knows what she will be thinking as it progresses. Well I'm glad she's "not the same person than when she went in". But then again that's what all the prisoners say too. She did the crime - do the time (and I hope she suffers. I have no tolerance for what she did).
Is that good? I can't decide whether this would be tasty or not? nm
.
Well in my mind lust is when you decide
to give in to something and enjoy it, which I have not and will not do in this case.
The puzzlement for me is how the attraction comes out of nowhere like that, and of course this time when it happened it is more troubling because he is so young. It must be pheromones. I think that's the best explanation.
Yep, some oldies decide on invitro
to have kids but I don’t want to have a kid in college just when I would like to retire. I see advanced maternal age listed all the time when the mother is only 34 or so, so wonder what category 41 falls under. Too many birth defects possible as the mother ages. Others can have their kids if they want at past 50, just not my cup of tea.
funny thing about when you decide to give up...
on men/relationships...That is when the right one comes along! That's how it happened for me. I, like you, had decided I was done with men, too many bad experiences, and then I met THE right guy for me. That was almost 11 years ago and we have been married for 7-1/2 years. We have a happy marriage and a beautiful little 15-month-old girl. It's when you stop looking that the right one comes along!
The most important thing, though, is to trust your instincts. They will never steer you wrong. From your description, it sounds like a good thing, but if there is a doubt that nags at you, don't dismiss it. Just don't let prior bad relationships cloud your judgment, because they are all different.
when u decide on a city, suggest contacting....
I'd call the Chamber(s) of Commerce of whatever city you decide to stay in and ask them the condition(s) of the area(s) post-Katrina.....just my opinion.
Have fun on vacation!!! :)
I just don't see why any parent would just allow a child decide to move out
It makes no sense to me. He is 16 years old and still a child. I guess I just don't understand how you have no problem with him deciding to move out and not even try to do anything about it other than take his house key. It sounds as though this 16-year old is running the show here. The whole thing is very disturbing to me.
Hi, Kelly, in case you decide to use Rogaine,
please check with your doctor first because of your thyroid issue!
Changes of a Down syndrome baby go up with age, though. You'll need to decide if an amnio & its
s
DH not happy = his prob. Let him leave or stay or decide
d
I'm 36, married 5 years, and still can't decide. I wish I had an answer for ya. But you're
x
Maybe if she sees the baby, she'll decide not to have it sucked out of her and thrown away like t
x
stick to your guns and let the bride and groom decide who they would like at the wedding(sm)
Twenty years ago there were 150 people at my wedding. I knew MAYBE 20 of them. My parents INSISTED on inviting every single long-distance cousin and relative, most of whom I (and certainly my husband) did not know and had never met. Granted, MA and Dad were paying for the wedding but I've always felt like I missed out on having MY wedding because, in order to stay within their budget, I only invited about five or ten friends. And my husband and his parents felt like they COULDN'T invite anyone because of the budget restraints and my parents' guest list. We ended up with about 20 people on my husband's side of the church (basically his immediate family), three of his friends, five of mine, and the rest were mostly my distant, DISTANT unknown relatives (with a few close relatives scattered among the many distants). I look back now and wish that I had taken better charge of the situation. It certainly would have cost my parents less money because I wasn't going to invite that many people.
How old is your child/children and when did you decide he wasn't worth the effort? nm
!
Not easy....
I have been there and it's not an easy decision to make. I did get a second opinion and that really helped me make my final decision. In my case it was possible cancer of the uterus. When I thought about being a single mom and how much I wanted to see my daughter grow up and after getting the second opinion I had the surgery. Although it was difficult to go through at the time it was really freeing. No more times of the month, no more Kotex supplies, etc. I have never regretted the decision since! Get a second opinion, it's worth the time and effort!
I think it would be easy, too, IF I had someone to do all the
chopping and measuring for me!!! LOL!!!
Does anyone have an easy way to keep a
dog's teeth clean if they resist brushing? I am concerned about her. I tried to brush them a few times and only was successful for part of the lower teeth. I know that if bacteria gets into the blood stream they can really become dangerously sick and even die from this. How about some items that can be bought at pet chain stores? We should have started her out early to get used to it. Any advice would be so appreciated. 
easy way
First of all, there IS no easy way!!
My ex-SIL had gastric bypass right at about the time I started WW.
Just a little background: I was always thin until I started working at home. Then I blew up. Ex-SIL and BIL had not seen me until the weight gain, so it was somewhat of a shock.
Anyhow, we were in the process of embarking on our respective means of weight loss, and ex-BIL said to me, "At least you're doing it the hard way." I told him, without hesitation, that his wife was doing it the hard way. Dang!! She's the one getting cut open!!
I know it was his way of encouraging me because he's nice that way, but it bothers me that people think surgery and accepting the risks involved is easy in any way, shape, or form.
Man, I'm glad you can do the Tobasco. I don't think I would live without it LOL ;-)
Wish you the best!
very easy -
all I do when I cook salmon is add an egg and some flour and fry it up - don't add too much flour or it will be dry and taste flour, just enough so that it will stick together.
Here's an easy one
I find hor'dourves are always nice. Have them before and then if anyone stays after dinner you can pull them back out later or the next day for snacks.
Little smokie sausages, wrap each in 1/2 piece of bacon secured with a toothpick, and roll in brown sugar. Then bake in the oven until the bacon is done. They are really yummy and easy. line the cookie sheet with foil for easy cleanup cause the sugar can be messy.
My mom also used to take cream cheese and spread it on a platter, top with a layer of cocktail sauce, and then crab meat (real or imitation). Serve with crackers.
Rye bread is fantastic with dill dip. If you can find a round loaf of rye bread and hallow out the center and put the dip in the middle. Then the center part can be chopped up and placed around the outside for dipping. Later people can pull apart from the round "bowl" of bread to dip. Little to no clean up here.
My mom used to do hor'dourves instead of dinner and then just make a ham and rolls in case anyone didn't have dinner yet. I'll keep thinking. I'm sure I can remember a few more easy ones that everyone always seemed to love.
An easy gift would be
to just get her a gift card to the mall in your area at the service desk, and she could use it at any of the stores there in the mall.
If you want to get a gift, gift, do you know any of her interests?
I know this will not be easy to read but I believe
we are responsible for how others 'treat' us because we have allowed it.... not easy to accept - I know - because have been through this myself and it is hard to swallow but if you think about it - it does make sense. When others disrespect us, either by not treating us the same as we treat them or by doing other unacceptable things and we continue to allow them to do this w/o confronting - they will continue to do so and in order to stop you need to stop allowing it and stop accepting it - and realize you are worthy of more. It's a hard step to take and a long road to haul but it can be done. So sorry! Trust me - have been there myself and slip back every so often but it is worth it to change!
Very easy for me- I have an account
with 1 of the major shopping channels, have my television in my work room, sometimes watching a particular show and get the number, call up the site and order. It really does not take that long and I still get 2000-3000 or over a day, no sweat.
Just take it slow and easy
Don't rush into anything, and don't let him pressure you into moving faster than you are comfortable with. After all, if you do get together, hopefully you will have a lot of happy years ahead of you. There's no need to rush things in the beginning.
I have been married for a long time to the same man (never divorced) but if we had taken more time in the beginning, we probably never would have gotten married. Outside circumstances kind of put us in a "do or die" position.
We had a lot of unhappy years, especially in the beginning. So the one thing I always advise anyone who is contemplating marriage and/or a serious relationship is take your time.
And good luck!
How to make (sm) It is easy
I bought a throw blanket, about 5' x 4' or so, then bought same size blanket fabric (had to trim it some so they are both same size. You put them one on top of the other and make cuts in about 2" or so, and about 1 inch apart so that you have fringe on three sides, but leave the top alone. They you just start tying both blankets together. It is kind of trial and error depending on how thick your blanket material is so you need to tye one and see if you need to cut in deeper or not. That's it! You just tie knots in the fringe on the three sides and you are done. If I can find a pic of one I'll try to post it for you.
easy button sm
I gave a gift to a home for troubled kids, attached a gift card to an easy button. Still getting thank you's. Just added a simple touch to money card which I don't like to give, but in this case it worked well, as kids are older, teenage troubled kids.
LOL!! Let me make this easy for you...sm
Lose the attitude, B! And I don't mean blondie. ;) The word I was referring to ends in an H, it also has an I in it too. Then throw in a T and a C and well, I think you are a smart girl. It will come to you. :)
Sure it's easy to get addicted
to food when you eat junk food, candy, cakes, McDonalds, ice cream, etc. I've never seen an obese person who eats healthy. If you are obese, you too are taking advantage of the healthcare system. What does it matter to you about my health...I don't worry or ridicule obese people. Comes down to it's none of your business. I do not smoke on the streets, in front of children, or people who have health problems. When I see an obese person stuff their face with crap and they weight 300 pounds, I find that disgusting. They too are hurting themselves. All addictions are the same no matter what even though you are too opinionated to see that!!
What I do a lot and is super easy
Is just take a bag of frozen vegetables, usually whatever I have. Broccoli/caul/carrots, broc/caul... or those new steam in the bag veggies. I just cook up some kind of whole wheat pasta, whatever I have, and then throw it together with the veggies. Sometimes I add some kind of pasta sauce or even just sprinkle with parmesan. If it's one of those packages of veggies that's already seasoned, that's really good too. I don't feel like pasta, I'll use rice instead. Quick and easy and you don't feel deprived because of all those veggies.
Easy but good
In a blender: 1 lg can whole tomatoes, 1-3 serrano peppers (sometimes even 1 is very hot, just depends on peppers at the time), Black pepper, Garlic Salt, Salt, and just a little Comino or Cumin (I have been told they are the same and I have tried them side by side and can't tell the difference.) Blend and season to taste. It will take more salt than you might think and just add a little by little of ingredients until you get it just like you like it. My friends have always had to make a couple before getting it seasoned just right. My bunco group requires this every month.
Or this Pico Salsa: 4-6 tomatoes diced, 1 onion diced, 3-6 serrano peppers diced very small, cilantro chopped added to your taste, and 1 fresh lime squeezed for juice. Season with Black Pepper, Salt, Garlic Salt all to taste and about 4 shakes of Worchestershire sauce. This is great pico for eating with chips or added with many dishes. My family prefers this at every gathering.
This is all with Texas preferred heat, so you may want to cut down on the peppers and it all depends on how hot the peppers are that day. The sauce and pico will get hotter over night, so be careful. If your pico gets too hot, try adding tomatoes to cool it off. Hot sauce requires adding more whole tomatoes to cool off but then you have to adjust your seasonings all over again.
It would be easy in my house. He would tell me to never cut
NM
How old do they have to be to peel easy?
Another thing I've learned is to cool them down as fast as possible makes them easier to peel. If you just let them cool down on their own, without running cold water over them, they're harder to peel.
Easy Fudge
Ingredients
3 cups (18 ounces) semi-sweet chocolate chips (or milk-chocolate chips)
1 (14-ounce) can EAGLE BRAND® Sweetened Condensed Milk (NOT evaporated milk)
Dash salt
1/2 to 1 cup chopped nuts (optional)
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
Instructions
In heavy saucepan, over low heat, melt chocolate chips with EAGLE BRAND® and salt. Remove from heat; stir in nuts (optional) and vanilla. Spread evenly into wax paper lined 8- or 9-inch square pan.
Chill 2 hours or until firm. Turn fudge onto cutting board, peel off paper and cut into squares. Store leftovers covered in refrigerator.
Notes: OTHER GREAT FUDGE FLAVORS: Chocolate Peanut Butter Chip Glazed Fudge: Proceed as above but stir in 3/4 cup peanut butter chips in place of nuts. Glaze: Melt 1/2 cup peanut butter chips with 1/2 cup whipping cream; stir until thick and smooth. Spread over chilled fudge.
Marshmallow Fudge: Proceed as above but omit nuts and add 2 tablespoons butter to mixture; fold in 2 cups miniature marshmallows.
We made it easy.
Decided that we did not need to buy gifts. We had a wonderful dinner together and enjoyed the day.
So, to answer your question -- did not use credit cards .. or cash for that matter!
Is godaddy.com. It's so easy to use...sm
I had absolutely NO clue how to create a web site and used this. It is very user friendly, their IT staff is always on call 7 days a week/24 hours a day and give great advice on how to do things when you get stuck, and their prices are very good, too. Good luck!
It's so easy to judge...
people when you think you have all the answers. Isn't it? What happens when one hits rock bottom? I'm too old to stroll out and "just get another job". I feel totally worthless and alone. I am at the point of considering suicide.
They're easy to use!
My mom is hopeless when it comes to technology, but she is able to use her Jitterbug phone!
Easy to get jaded
I suppose if the kids grow up with it, it doesn't seem like a big deal to them and if they are taught right from wrong, they may still experiment with stuff but will hopefully make the right choice. Seeing all these school shooting, etc., it's something I can't imagine going thru when I went to school. The biggest thing we had was "speed" and Marijuana. No cocaine, no guns, no AIDS.
It's nice to know there are kids like my niece and nephew. My 19 YO nephew got a full scholarship to Ohio State and he's going for engineering. My 11 year old niece gets straight A's.
Ham rollups are always a hit and easy to make.
Ham Rollups
Packaged boiled ham sliced
Cream cheese
Green onions
Lay a slice of ham on a cutting board, spread cream cheese on the ham slice but not all the way to the edge, place a prepared green onion on one end (short end) of the ham slice, roll it up and then slice it up and place the pieces on a serving tray.
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