EXCUSE ME! Smoking and/or drinking does not make you a bad parent! sm
Posted By: Are you kidding on 2009-04-06
In Reply to: You darn bet you have a right to ask sm - Just me
I smoke. I drink margaritas when I choose too. This does not have any effect on how I raise my children. One is a straight A student. The third is an average student. Then I have my 21yo who is excelling in the nursing program and just told me tonight I was a great mom no matter how she used to argue with me, which she did and regularly. Smoking and/or drinking does not play a role in life unless you are an alcoholic. Just because someone drinks, they are not and guess what... they can still be a mom/dad and raise wonderful children.
If you want to pick something that is wrong, how about a church that teaches children to fast when they are only 11 and already underweight (not mine but a friend's). That is more wrong.
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I'll call the other kid's parent, make them pay the bill
One would assume your daughter thought the girl was just making a quick call. It is irresponsible of the other person to text on your daughters phone. I'm all for your daughter being responsible but it seems that she was totally taken advantage of and that just isn't fair.
simply make up an excuse of having other plans and override her boldness
nm
And the drinking age is....
This might have changed since my kids were growing up. When the kids and I visited Jamaica, no drinking age there and so my 15 year old son was allowed to drink, even his much younger sister could order from a bar but in the US the age was 21 and so that was what I expected out of them. I personally would hold any parents legally responsible for letting under aged kids drink at their home. I am too much of a stickler for the laws of the land.
husband's drinking
I think, from what I have read, is that he can only help himself in stopping. Has to hit bottom....after AA and being sober would be the time for your support. I think by staying with him now you will be co-inabling. He knows you are there, so he probably feels "so what, she's still here and I'm still drinking". He has to want to stop, until then he won't. Remember, it is a disease, and it can't be cured, but can be taken "one day at a time". Best of luck.
drinking for 2 years is not trying it out
Your daughter is headed down the wrong path. If she's been smoking for 2 years, she's not trying that out anymore, either. Apparently, both of these new habits "fit" and she's taking them home. The fact that she says she feels relieved not having to hide it anymore is a sure sign she has no intention of quitting. I strongly urge you to discipline her. Children need discipline. She may hate you for it now, but your job is to be her mother, not her friend. Both of these habits carry dire consequence over the long-term (which I'm sure you are aware of) and both of these habits only get worse over time.
Yes, I tried alcohol and cigarettes when I was 16 (no drugs) but only a couple of times. To this day, I still don't like the taste of beer and never drank any other alcohol until I was over 21. When my mom/dad found out what I was doing, I was severely disciplined - grounded, spanked (yes I said spanked at 16), and was stripped of any privileges. This definitely deterred me from participating in these things after I was allowed to resume a normal life. This may sound harsh, but I'm thankful today my parents put an end to it when they did. I intend to do the same with my children. I think that's the problem with a lot of today's youth -- they're parents are too worried about being their friend, instead of doing their job as a parent.
What is Nicki drinking?
I know she is drinking the drink that David drugged, but it looks like white wine or champagne. WTH? It certainly dosesn't look like sparkling water or whatever the recovering alcoholic normally drinks.
I would not drive after drinking it!
Use in place of wine:)
drinking soda
I think that drinking soda aggravates that. Cranberry juice and herbals teas calm this sort of thing down for me.
Legal Drinking Age
Many of the states that have chosen to specifically prohibit alcohol consumption by those under age 21 have a variety of exceptions. For example,
Some States allow an exception for consumption when a family member consents and/or is present. States vary widely in terms of which relatives may consent or must be present for this exception to apply and in what circumstances the exception applies. Sometimes a reference is made simply to "family" or "family member" without further elaboration.
....
Some States allow an exception for consumption on private property. States vary in the extent of the private property exception which may extend to all private locations, private residences only, or in the home of a parent or guardian only. In some jurisdictions, the location exception is conditional on the presence and/or consent of the parent, legal guardian, or legal-age spouse.
Some States also allow exceptions for educational purposes (e.g., students in culinary schools), religious purposes (e.g., sacramental use of alcoholic beverages), or medical purposes.
http://www2.potsdam.edu/hansondj/LegalDrinkingAge.html
if he quits drinking and changes for the better, you have your answer
nm
Lowering the legal drinking age from 21 to 18
I didn't know this was going on.....
The article is long so I didn't copy all of it. See the link below:
College presidents from about 100 of the nation's best-known universities, including Duke, Dartmouth and Ohio State, are calling on lawmakers to consider lowering the drinking age from 21 to 18, saying current laws actually encourage dangerous binge drinking on campus.
The movement called the Amethyst Initiative began quietly recruiting presidents more than a year ago to provoke national debate about the drinking age.
"This is a law that is routinely evaded," said John McCardell, former president of Middlebury College in Vermont who started the organization.
"It is a law that the people at whom it is directed believe is unjust and unfair and discriminatory."
Drinking 9-12 beers a day means he is
No, sure donot see that. Was he drinking the beer
on the unicycle? LOL
Try drinking 8 glasses of water a day...(SM)
I just spoke with a friend whose husband was advised by his doctort to drink a lot of water for his back problem. He did and it worked and he feels better overall. Could be the bones in your feet are dry and building up with calcium.
My daughter was drinking heavily, she didn't know that I knew but she would
act strange and when I would try to come close to her casually, she would pull away. I waited til she fell asleep and could smell the booze on her breath. The next day I told her I would buy lunch if she could go grab it and when she left I went in her room and found to stashed bottle of some cheap rum. I know it sounds bad but I put some ipecac in the bottle and then waited. I didn't put much, but it was effective. She blew chunks and blew and blew. She thought she just got sick, but about a week later I did it again and after she got sick that time, that was the end of her drinking. Smart girl, eh? She somehow figured out that drinking rum made her sick! I may sound like a terrible mom, but I also don't have a drunk for daughter now either.
Red Cross told me excessive tea drinking could cause anemia.
o
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines
Try drinking lots of water today, bet you feel at least nm
x
It's the other guy's wife that's strange. I can see guys drinking, watching
xx
I would have called the police right from the start, especially with underage drinking.
the mother could be brought up on charges of furnishing aldohol to minors for starters. Don't put up with it for another minute. The police will not tell who called, they just show up on the door step and take care of business.
Good luck.
It is just like drinking Coors light determines you will have a boy baby and Miller Lite a girl. sm
I have heard that actually; however, it is not true.
I did hear that too much Mountain Dew makes one impotent!
Don't know who dreams this stuff up, but I would have to say it is not true at all. My hubby only drinks Coors Light and we have a boy and a girl, go figure! LOL
Look down on smoking...you said it!
I feel like such a loser sometimes, when I am with others and I'm the only one who has to go find a place where I can have a cigarette. You cannot even smoke outside anymore at certain places, hospital grounds etc., unless you go to the dreaded designated *loser* smoking spot which is usually 1/2 mile away and very obvious (one had a smoking gazebo) :) Happy for you. I'm going to try Chantix too.
smoking
Stick with it!! Believe me you will feel better in the long run! I quit about 8 yrs ago now.
smoking
Did you ask your doc for the new pill that just came out. I can remember exactly what it is called but I have a girlfriend on them and it is working great. Give it a shot!!
Smoking sm
I can only tell you a true story. My younger sister smoked (I never did) and she would try to stop but each time a stressful situation would occur, she would pick up again. At a young age, she was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer, never even had a cough and she looked great! She lived exactly 17 months, the charts said 18. By the 2nd month of DX the young docs told her, "nursing home or Hospice, you can't lay around here." This was when she had a high fever and reaction to chemo. She lost her hair, gained about 30 pounds, etc.from chemo reaction. She died penniless and heartbroken. She was only a year retired early from a great job and had the rest of her life to look forward to, yet cigarettes robbed her of her family, her dignity, her retirement fund, and now she's in the cold, cold ground, all because she "needed" a cigarette. She wanted to retire early and enjoy her 401K retirement plan and her kids. Her daughter just had a beautiful baby and no mother to share the news. Her grandchildren have no grandmother and I have no sister anymore. She just had to have that cigarettte and would listen to no one. Her oncologist told her, "Go ahead and smoke, what difference does it make now?" Is this what you want for yourself? It's the bare naked truth, please, I would rather you cut off your fingers than smoke, at least you would still be alive. Cigarettes STINK and they KILL. Don't let it happen one more day.
I
So that's a yes on the smoking, then.
Of course it has everything to do with it.
smoking
That's a difficult situation. Legally you can do nothing against her, that's bad. I hope the smoke detectors are well maintained? You can try to talk some sense into her, but I doubt it will help.
The only solution would be that you move into a building where the owner forbids smoking. There are some sensible landlords out there who want to keep their houses smokefree.
But, as you said, that's difficult for you.
Try to convince her to stop smoking or cut down by telling her how bad it is for her health.
There should be 'houses for smokers', stinkers, and 'houses for nonsmokers', nonstinkers.
I have the same problem. I am a nonsmoker and live on the 1st floor, under and on above me both are smokers and I tell you, it stinks!
Smoking outside stores
I don't like people smoking outside stores either. They stand right by the door so you have to hold your breath and go through the smoke cloud. Unlike the other things mentioned, that does invade my personal space with secondhand smoke exposure.
No smoking pills?
Has anyone taken the drug Chantix for smoking? My son has been taking this and he and his wife haven't slept in a week. She says he is not acting like himself...I don't smoke so I don't have a clue what its like.
The smoking might have to be done outside if the laws there say
s
15 yo smoking question
I found a pack of cigarettes in my 15-yo son's back pack. He said he was holding them for a neighbor. I kind of believe him but regardless he is under 18 and should not be in possession of them. What kind of consequences do you think are appropriate?
Trying to stop smoking
I haven't smoked today! I am trying to quit. Have tried several times before, but this time I have to do it! 
There's a little difference with smoking, though.
Your second-hand smoke is harmful to others and the environment.
Alcohol kills more people than just those who ingest it.
Obesity only kills the person suffering from it.
Rude to comment on it? Maybe. Then again, everyone who has to put up with the butts on the ground, the second-hand smoke, the nicotine stains and the stench of it clinging to you as you walk into the building -- well, I guess they do have a right to comment.
Today is my second day not smoking
You may want to give it another try. It make cigarettes taste terrible. I think that it only takes 3 days for the physical withdrawal to be over and then it is the emotional part and the habit you need to kick. I decided to quit because I saw the show Intervention and this kid got hooked on heroine after his mother died of cancer and that really hit me and I realized that my life is not only mine, but that of my family's as well. It was funny because yesterday it seemed that whenever I had the urge for a smoke, I would get a note of someone who had lung cancer. Good luck to you. I defintely feel your pain. People who have never smoked just don't get it. Give it another try with Chantix. I have to say that the only problem with it is that I can't sleep at night, but I took a Xanax last night and slept better, not well, but better. It will be worth it in the end when I am a nonsmoker and don't have the threat of lung cancer looming over me. Good luck.
While I don't proport smoking, I'm not sure
asking this information on an insurance form should be allowed. We already deny many Americans affordable health coverage because of obesity and other medical problems. What's next? Asking how many foods we microwave or how long we talk on a cell phone (supposedly these cause cancer, too)? We already ask the obvious questions - smoking, drinking, exercise. They have you weigh in and ask every question imaginable about your family medical history.
How are we supposed to obtain coverage if we're not in perfect health, and let's face it, how many Americans are in perfect health? I was watching Celebrity Fit Club on TV and I looked at some of the people on there and thought what's wrong with them, only to find out their body fat percentage was 2 points over norm. Come on America -- this is just another way to keep us from having healthcare coverage. No, I'm not a smoker, just a concerned American wondering about the future of my health insurance.
Smoking at school
My high school had an area called the "smoke hole" where, if you had a "smoking permit", you could go during lunch or breaks and smoke! I think about that now and it just amazes me that kids were allowed to smoke at school. We called the people that went there the "smokeholians"...too weird now!
quitting smoking
You are correct to be afraid. Quitting smoking is excruciatingly painful. You have to re-train your brain to do every single daily activity without smoking. And the cravings never go away.
Skullcap, Gingseng, and Valerian are extremely useful, so you don't have to suffer if you don't want to.
The sore throat alone from the first week of quitting will scare you to death.
You will need to eat and exercise to get the energy you get from cigarettes, and it will take awhile to learn how to take better care of yourself.
Why is it worth it? You aren't a slave anymore, you can go anywhere, colors you see are more intense, all foods taste different, smells are different and more intense, (and sex is more intense also).
You can quit anything if you can stand the pain. Don't be a wimp, you are worth it.
Quitting Smoking Again
I was wondering if any of you have any tips for quitting smoking without gaining weight. That is my biggest fear as I am already overweight. Thanks in advance!
quitting smoking
I gained 10 pounds I never lost, but not more than that. I used to skip meals when I smoked so I think that is self-explanatory.
Apples and fruit for snacks and quick energy.
I bought an espresso machine, but the mocha grandes I was drinking made my eyes vibrate....not kidding.
Siberian Gingseng to remove fogged brain, depression, and fatigue.
Skullcap for mild irritation.
Skullcap combined with Valerian for psychotic irritation.
Gas-X to combate the effects of constant gum chewing.
Long walks, deep breathing and YOGA. Yoga is amazing....
Smoking either boosts you up or calms you down. Figure out which it is and you can substitute for that need without eating.
Assume the smoking outside will not last. sm
I've lived with smokers. They all say they'll only do it outside. They ALL eventually revert to doing it inside. Especially when you are the only non-smoker. Consider how this will affect you. They may be awesome, but they're awesome smokers.
I took it to quit smoking...
and can't say that I noticed any effects whatsoever, except that it did help me quit smoking.
congrats on the no smoking!!!!
I am not that broke, but next paycheck I need $800 for the car payment and window and door loan. Also need about 200 for food for the following 2 weeks until the next payday... so bout a grand, but the check will only be 700. HMMM, Live without food and will still owe 100 to someone. Thank God I do not have to put gas in the car.
That is a little overboard. Smoking is not
illegal. I would think CPS would tell her to stop wasting their time.
DS smoking pot last night.
Last night, he and his friend smoked in his room and blew the smoke out the window, trying to be sneaky, not realizing that it would waft up and come in the upper deck screen door! We calmly confronted them, they admitted it, DS handed over his paraphanalia, a homemade bong out of a soda can, the rest of his stash (just a couple buds), and we called the other kids parents, who promptly came over and we had a group discussion around the kitchen table, after which the other kid and his parents went home .
DS is grounded from his phone, computer, house phone, all friends and activities until further notice. When he does have an activity, he will be highly monitored and supervised. His freedoms are greatly curtailed. He also will be doing more work on the retaining wall we are building in the back yard. We're not sure yet what else will be a consequence, but I have a friend who is a rehab nurse in a chem dependancy unit, so we may chat with her.
Besides making bad choices and stupid decisions, what REALLY makes me angry is that he was using his SIXTY DOLLAR trumpet mouthpieces for bowls. What a bonehead.
My 16-year-old daughter smoking
I have known for about a year that my daughter has been smoking from time to time. I made it very clear to her that this was very unacceptable and absolutely would not be tolerated.
Apparently she has done a very good job at hiding it. Tonight when I was putting socks into her sock drawer, for some reason I decided to push aside her socks and, of course, I found a cigarette, but the filter had been cut off. I also saw several filters that had been cut off in her drawer. I asked her about it a little bit ago and naturally she stormed upstairs and wouldn't discuss it with me. This may sound incredibly naive, but I really don't know why the filters were cut off? Maybe to make the cigarette stronger? This thought makes me sick to my stomach.
I am at a loss here. She is a pretty good girl, an honor roll student, has lots of friends, but still loves to spend time with her family. I have grounded her in the past for this, but apparently that didn't get my point across. I would love to hear from parents with teenagers who have been through this before and have suggestions on how to deal with this. Also, I'm almost afraid to ask, but any ideas why the filters were cut off the cigarettes?
cig smoking is EXACTLY like heroin addiction.....
filters cut off for more strength....to answer your question.
I wish someone had stopped me - folks gave permission at a young age....because they were smokers.....I have never quit except in pregnancy....but I quit buying over 3-1/2 months ago, still smoke but ask others for one....and I cut back smoking by 75 percent and THAT's something because I no longer even cough the way I used to, my house smells GREAT (smoking outside only).....and I sound better (because I really am better - health-wise).
It is MOST definitely a drug addiction, as bad as any of them, as addicting as any of them........so the post was right on about *hearing it is as strong as a heroin addiction* - I tell kids today, that's exactly what it is...........................because it is.
My only suggestion is to show her pictures (found online even, just Google the subject/topic/question) of what lungs look like in smokers versus nonsmokre, and then find some head and neck surgical oncology site and start showing her pictures there (I worked in a surgical oncology HEAD AND NECK dept for a few years and what I saw was definitely sickening and yet, I too, still smoke *slaps self*)
My children (due to the fact I used above tactics) - NEVER smoked (thank goodness!!!!).
Best of luck to her and you!!!
Georgia has a no public smoking law...sm
and it's great going to restaurants, stores, etc without smelling cigarettes. Restaurants can only allow smokers if they don't admit anyone under age 18 and they have to have a ventilation system that meets a certain strict criteria with the state.
So you're quitting smoking?
Since nicotine is a drug, and you are giving up a habit that involves deep breathing, it actually makes perfect sense if you are starting to have anxiety. I'll bet if you took up exercising like yoga or pilates or some sort of martial arts, you'd get a similar calming effect.
Using the patch for smoking cessation SM
I do not smoke, but just wanted to tell you that my hairstylist has tried to quit smoking twice with no success. She just told me on Tuesday evening that she is on a nicotine patch and she is just thrilled. She said she cannot believe how it has helped. She said it is expensive, but well worth it. She has not smoked now for over 3 weeks and says that she is not even missing it She just seems so much happier now, and she has taken such a positive step that her boyfriend is also on the patch and doing great. Can't speak for myself, but please, please for your health and the health of those around you, give it a try. You are worth it!
Talking to me about my smoking may lead
to burn marks on your forehead as I put out my cigarette. Oh, was that your head?
I miss smoking pot, tho would never go back.
Miss cigarettes, too.
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