Does he treat you badly in front of your children or is it
Posted By: Wannie on 2007-07-30
In Reply to: He refuses to do that. He says no way is he leaving (sm) - Butter and clutter
usually "behind closed doors?"
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especially in front of children
Once I was waiting of food at Taco Bell and a girl was talking to an employee and bragging about how when she worked in another restaurant she and her co-workers stole so much "sh*t" over and continued to repeat the word as well a further other words my son didn't need to hear. Finally I said "Please, he is only 9, can you talk about something else. She did shut up after that.
The only reason I asked if it was in front of your children or
not is because there is always a possibility of children blaming the parent who leaves, not that being verbally abusive "behind closed doors" makes it any more right. I just wouldn't want your children to say that mommy left daddy if they were not even remotely aware of what was going on. Obviously, from what your son said to you, he is aware of his father's behavior toward you. We can all give you our opinions and can hand out advice (myself included), but ultimately, you are the only one who can make the decision for yourself and your children. I would definitely spend some time praying about this as it is a major decision and a tough one at that. If you're like me, and I think you must be from what you have said, your children are your life and mean everything to you, and how this will affect them is your main concern. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Do you or did you cuss/swear in front of your children?
I was at Walmart the other day and this mother and her teen age son walked by me I could hear her say "well I ain't taking no more S$$T off them the A$$H##&s !How can people talk like that with their children!
AWFUL!
Not only is he treating you badly,
what kind of a man tells his wife and children to leave the home? My parents divorced when I was 11 and as I got older I realized it really was for the best. You need to show your children that it is not okay to disrespect anyone. You should go ahead and at least consult a lawyer and see what your options are.
I feel so badly for you - sm
It is not supposed to be that way! Your hubby sounds pretty selfish. If I told my husband I needed him to stand on his head and turn cartwheels for me to orgasm he would at least attempt it, especially after a year of marriage. Is everything fantastic with him other than the sex issue??
But it may end badly for the dogs
They may not be taken care of when he's off doing other things. I would tell him though that he needs to buy or pay for the dog food and put a time limit on how long you'll take care of them. You're a good person to make sure they're taken care of.
I'd say she has been hurt badly and deeply
besides having a questionable upbringing. It has been shown you can even be raised weird and still have great qualities - something happened to push those natural feelings towards other human beings way down inside her. If it were me - I would just kind of detach myself from her as she will most likely not change and you will grow to become bitter and you cannot change her. You are not going to get what you need as a friend from her. Sorry also about your son. Hugs!!
Help for badly damaged hair
Got a perm a couple months ago (bad mistake -especially once DH said - is that the way you wanted it?) Anyway...since then have gotten it trimmed a couple times to get rid of the dead. But it is like a rats nest, looks dry and very frizzy. I have tried...curling creams, leave in conditioners, mousse, putty, creams, and a wide range of hair products. The other night I tried mayo & egg. My hair still feels dried out. Actually just feeling it now, the part that has grown out is not dry, but the part where the perm is is dry.
Anyone have any suggestions. How I miss my beautiful locks of my youth (I'm 51). I used to have beautiful curls and the hairdressers always commented they never seen such beautiful natural curls before. Now it's just old, frizzy, no curls and no body, and a thinning spot toward the top of my forehead. Talk about feeling old. I did just color it because sometimes coloring brings back shine and makes it manageable, but didn't do anything but get rid of the gray. I'm ready to just go Sinead. Any suggestions much appreicated.
Not everyone reacts badly to chemo - sm
My daughter was not throwing up every half hour. In the 18 treatments/doses she received in her five month regimen she puked 3 times I think. She was nauseous, yes, but Zofran took care of that. She lost about five pounds in all but most/all of that was tumor. She did not lose her hair until the 4th month, but as I said then if that is the worst thing to happen we will live with it. Hair does grow back. Her hair grew back red again, not as firey red, but still a beautiful color, thicker now too, and grows so much faster now too, already below her waist now in the 3.5 years it has been growing back. Her hair was very, very slow growing prior to her chemo (about mid-back maybe short when she got sick at 5, with absolutely no haircuts except for bangs). Physically now she is in fantastic shape. She never developed footdrop or any side effects other than nausea and exhaustion, she had little stamina for 6 months to a year after chemo ended. Now however she is great, looks great, is in great shape and is a very active 9-y/o. She has been thru a lot and is very mature for her age, more so than my soon to be 11-y/o. She has a lot on her mind and still worries sometimes she will get cancer again. I feel bad that she thinks that way but it is something she will have to live with for the rest of her life, but at least she will have a life. Without the chemo she would not have had one and she knows that, she is a smart cookie. She also knows I am her mom and I love her to pieces and will always make sure she is kept safe and hopefully healthy. If she never needs it I will give her one of my kidneys presuming I can. ---but chemo is proven to work more than it fails, nothing is 100%, but at 13 the boy is too young to understand the ramifications. He will die, period, no doubt in my mind, if he does not do chemo. Yes, he may still die with it but his chances are much less and if they go with a "natural" treatment his chances are definitely a lot less. Very short-sighted of both of them I think. Before anyone attacks me, I like you am entitled to my opinion but before you attack make sure you have walked in my shoes. A child sick with cancer is a very scary thing.
Well I had a friend at work who wanted a baby badly
had hydrocephalus. She prayed and prayed. She finally decided through a lot of counseling that it would be better to abort this baby. So in what stage of abortion are we talking made to look at the ultrasound. Is this a whole different thing? Should she have been made to have that baby even knowing the baby would not survive? I think there are abortions for different reasons. JMO.
City of Angels. I couldn't leave the theatre I was bawling so badly. nm
x
Children having children not a new thing, where do you live?
My son, who is now in his early 40s, told me years ago when in high school about all the teenage mothers that were at his school and said they brought the babies to school, and he seemed to think it was like the girls having playdolls like when you were little. This is not new and apparently folks think alright to have their children sans marriage, be it preteens, teens or adults. I guess my years alone do not make me shocked at anything anymore. Others talk about this job being isolated and your post says some of this if you were shocked at what the son said.
They treat you this way cause you allow it.Can only
x
Never had a cat before? You are in for a real treat (sm)
Cats are just so cool. I have 3 dogs and my 20 year old cat just died in Feb. They work their way into your heart just like dogs do, but in many ways are so much easier to deal with. And they have this way of looking at you when you give them the "wrong" food that day, like you have just totally lost your mind. If you're gone for a few days, your dogs will be so excited to see you when you get back. Cats will act like they don't care, and are just so uninterested that you came back (till an hour or so later when they decide to "forgive" you. As you can probably see, I miss my baby. Best of luck with yours.
TLR- ice cream treat
And by the way thanks to some of the ones that don't mind reading them!!
I decided to take a much deserved break a lot earlier than usual from the craziness going on today and plus it was so beautiful out I couldn't sit any longer. Cupid and I went to Bruesters Ice Cream for a treat. He was sooo excited he ran up to the stand!! I think he knew something special was waiting there for him! It was the first time we went to there so he didn't know what was there yet. The first thing the girl asked me was if I wanted a doggie dish. When he got it, there was a little dog biscuit stuck in the icecream. It was so cute. I hope your having a good evening, later.
Just found the best cat treat EVER -- sm
it's called Kitty Kaviar-- but I think it should be called Kitty Krack, LOL
It is thin dried flakes of real tuna and my cats cannot get enough (and they are fairly finicky).
My male kitty is diabetic and with these treats he lets me test him and give him his shots without any fuss whatsoever.
No not treat yourself -- see message
I type for a psychologist well known in my area whose caseload is 75% ADD. He does a lot of natural remedies and supplements. A good book is Brain Gym that helps with exercises to train the brain to be focuses. A lot of exercise is necessary. Lots of protein, DEH, etc. But without getting him evaluated you are shooting in the dark as to what will and what will not help. Insurance pays for it. But there are a lot of natural supplements and things you can do but you need an expert to work with you and not just an MD that puts them on medications. I have two nephews that have it, they went to this doctor and diet, exercise and supplements have helped tremendously and now in high school they are off medication. If you had an infection or a medical problem you would go to a doctor and not treat yourself so don't treat this yourself. Patti
They say docs won't treat them?
geez, I'm afraid...
trick or treat?
I'm figuring the way this day is going that I will turn off my lights, sit in the basement and eat 2 bags of Snickers instead of handing it out tonight. I hear those little candy bars up in the pantry calling my name. I figure I am saving the neighborhood kids from cavities, weight gain, stomachaches and a night of bouncing off the walls. I know they'll thank me later.
What did YOU do for HIM???, does he treat u good every other day? nm
nm
can you treat a UTI over the counter?
I am one of those lucky MTs that dont have health insurance and that makes it pretty annoying when I have probelms. Like right now I am sure that I have a UTI, but dont want to go to the ER and get that $600 bill. I bought some AZO and cranberry vitamin. I figure I will drinks lots of water and see what happens... any suggestions? Thanks a lot!
Michael Vicks ... I wish I could treat him the same. sm
I'm sorry but I am writing letters to every single sponsor of his and to the NFL and the Falcons.
If I could, I would treat him the same way he has allowed those poor dogs to be treated.
I would treat them like Paul Revere (SM)
Make em history! You are better than that. I used to always try to figure out why someone acted a certain way. . like you I wondered what the problem was. Found out from a wonderful psychologist who helped me over a terribly painful relationship that went bad . . It DOES NOT MATTER WHY. . what matters is that it happened. You need to move on. They are just not nice. I would think you took up bowling in the first place to have a good time! GO FOR IT elsewhere! GOOD LUCK!
Thanks for the treat...awesome photos!! nm
x
don't enable him to treat this way - especially with child to see
nm
But did you and your no account brother treat her
x
What a nice treat...I get stuff sent to me..
that way from Philly, cheesesteaks, hoagies, good pretzels, TastyKakes...it's nice to be able to get something good from home when you live so far away!
So then you WOULD treat a woman like a criminal?
what's that phrase, judge not lest...?
Treat everyone as if we all worked in the same office.
xx
If you have not yet seen the deer and cat video treat yourself to
something wonderful. Copy and paste and enjoy. This is truly beautiful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rooyt3ptNco
does anyone of those facial hairs like a mustache? if so, how do you treat it? sm
what is a fast solution and a long-term fix? thanks!
What's your favorite Christmas treat/candy, etc?
Mine are the 'chocolate oranges' and Andes mints.
For homemade stuff, can't beat fudge, Chex mix and Christmas sugar cookies.
What're your favorites?
Put a little no fat cool whip on top, and you have a real treat
Ladies, any assistance on how to treat herpes
My daughter has just sent me some information on something called Lectroject, apparently it is something that is used to inject medicine directly into the herpes blister?? Never heard of it but has anyone else. Any suggestions at all on how to treat herpes outbreak on the lips? Thanks so much!
Silly Girl shouldn't have to treat her
husband like a dog or a child. After all, she is his wife, not his mother. If she wants a pet, she can go to the animal shelter and get a dog. She married a man and he needs to act like one. It sounds like she gives and gives, and he takes. I think Silly Girl should start taking care of herself for a change.
Rice-A-Roni, the San Francisco treat!
I think it's better to be up front
and honest from the start about lending $$$ and stuff (cosigning loans next?), kinda nipping it in the bud as it were. I'll be thinking good thoughts for you.
My favorite Christmas treat is January 2. lol. be glad when it is over.
nm
He has "stud tail" but don't remember how to treat it. Call your
ioio
Doesn't matter what religion they are, the Indians treat
.
sounds immature and simple minded; treat him as such.
nm
Knew a dentist Candy Treat - for real
x
I had a guy jump right in front of me
As if he didn't see me. I didn't want to make a scene, but I thought it was very rude. I absolutely hate cell phone usage in public. It is very annoying. I will purposefully make noise to interrupt. I think cell phone usage while driving should be banned as well. Most people are not paying the least bit of attention when they are driving and talking on a cell phone. It is worse than driving drunk in my opinion.
My little dog rides with me in the front
Most newer vehicles, including mine, have the ability to TURN OFF the air bag on the passenger side, which mine is unless there is a human rider. Also, we have a "Doggie car seat". A basket type seat which he rides in. There is a hook to secure him that attaches to his collar/harness. It allows him to sit high up where he can see out all the windows, plus he cannot climb on me to cause an accident. We need to treat our dogs like children and put them in a car seat. He loves it; he gets to see around and go anywhere momma goes. PS: DO NOT LEAVE YOUR DOG IN THE CAR, EVEN WITH THE WINDOW DOWN, IN ANY KIND OF WEATHER. The interior of your car can heat to over 100 degrees even in 50 degree weather. My sister lost two of her babies when her husband left them in the car last spring.
I liked the part where the guy had to run in front - sm
of his truck and put a rock under the tire to try to stop it, and it kept rolling over the rock. I had a truck like that once.....
better shot of the front - sm
try, try again. This is before the previous owner refinished it, it is totally black now (with all the rust removed).
We usually have babies on the front - sm
and back porches, though I got rid of the nest on the back table on the porch as it was just a drag having to worry about if the dogs were going to figure it out and eat the babies, had it barricaded in a bit last year and all surived though. It was right by the back door which we let the dogs in and out from so it took them a while to get used to that. We did not hang out plants this year out front but when we do we always end up with a nest in the plant, makes it hard to water but we still manage to do it. But no nests so far front or back, had a family of rabbits under the shed though that all survived from whatI can tell, at least our dogs did not get any. Last year had a cardinal build a nest about 2.5 feet off the ground in the backyard and my Lab knocked the babies out, we put them back in the nest and moved it to a safe location near where they had it but they ended up dying. The birds tried again though, this time in a tree right by the back porch, high enough so the dogs could not reach luckily and they all made it that time. Neat to watch every year, will have to keep a look out. The birds have been stealing my husky's tuffs of fur I am pulling out from his massive shedding going on rigiht now. Seeing them flying off with fur in their beaks is funny.
When puppy does her business where you want her to, reward her with a piece of food treat.
And when she pees in house, use paper towels and then place paper towels (soiled) to the area in the yard where you want her to do her business. Dogs tend to prefer where they smell the odor. Be patient. This dog is young. Confine her to an area where the floor will not be damage (tile or vinyl). Take her out six times away,including first thing in AM, right before bed, after she eats her meals. Pull water up a few hours before bedtime. Do enjoy your new puppy dog.
Maybe you can work on your daughter to not ask to sit up front
Though, I agree, your DH is the parent and this should be a no-brainer for him. She absolutely should not be up front. Maybe if you can convince her that she shouldn't be in the front seat, as her older sister seems to know, then she won't ask. If she doesn't ask, dad won't put her up front.
It does stink, though. I've been married for 22 years to a really great guy. But occasionally, he just has no common sense, and yeah, I have to manipulate a situation. I'd be out of my mind, just like you, if my kid survived cancer and then was injured or killed because of a silly, preventable thing, like having her in the back seat.
Having known the risks up front, I decided
myself never to have a child after 30 even. I had my first at 21 and then my daughter was born when I was 29. I just had always heard the risks and did not want to take them myself. Everyone can do what they want but the older here is not always the better.
Interesting front garden
Interesting use of wooly thyme.
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