Do you have any family or friends you can stay with? I do not
Posted By: Kokopoo on 2007-02-12
In Reply to: Been to counselling - Exhausted.
know where you are, but there are many options for battered women (both physically and mentally) and I can help guide you on who to get in touch with in your area if you give me an area to look. PLEASE feel free to e-mail and I will help if I can. I do remember your posts from awhile ago and I was thinking then that the situation was going nowhere but worse, so please think of your sanity and the fact that what is going on in that house is DEFINITELY spilling over onto the children.
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Summer. Friends or family? Family. Tired or Awake?
x
I was allowed to have guy friends stay overnight BUT -sm
they could not sleep in my room with me. They were welcome to crash on the couch. My parents knew I was having sex with them but it was their house and their rules. I never really had a problem with it and plan to do the same with my 2 girls.
Family and friends
Thanks for understanding. I agree. I have found that family is not necessarily blood. They say blood is thicker than water? I say blood could equal dysfunction. The real family we have are those we choose ourselves and who love us in return. Your peaceful Christmas with you husband and your friends sound like what Christmas is all about, not the other stuff. Thanks for reminding me Christmas can be peaceful and warm.
Most of her stories should stay in her family
just nutsy. Having the ability to breastfeed makes absolutely no difference in how a child turns out, the upbringing does and this entire family just sounds bonkers. I am really loving the posts about bringing drinks to the team, HA and point and shoot like machine guns, HA, HA.. Great posts you all.....
best gift to me is having family and friends....nm
just a thought-all criminals have family and friends
All criminals/bad people do have people and family and friends in their lives who love them. Does not make those people, the family and friends who love them, criminals.............
Yeah, stay out of that family debt deal, if ya can. :) nm
nm
Just signed it and e-mailing the info to family and friends. nm
x
Small group family/friends out for bowling and pizza
x
When you have friends - it's good. But when you don't have friends it's
REALLY GOOD!!!
I swear, I have this one friend who just gets mad at me stupid stuff. I told her a few weeks ago that I could probably go out this sat. but now I can't make it (just dinner). So, I emailed her and told her I can't go. She's upset. Thinks I should not have made plans in the first place. Well, things come up.
Why are people (women) so catty? Immature?
Are there any women out there who can: Forgive, understand, not get offended because I am not perfect? If so, I'd like to meet you. I highly doubt she exists though.
Family is great but I am never back in my hometown where family is... So I always have extended fami
You can always pick your friends your stuck with your family. An Xmas for me is where my husband and kids come home to. It is what you make it!
Big difference between family values and family jewels, eh? lol
LOL. I love this show. I think Gene and Shannon and her sister are a riot! What characters. It really is amazing to me the kids seem so laid back and so normal. They seem like great kids.
Does your family still do the early Sunday dinner w/family?
s
SIL family, us and another family snacked,played
x
Normally, this would be something I would try to stay out of, but (sm)
I would think if you called CPS and explained things just the way you did here, they might be able to do something to keep the aunt away, and parenting classes for the parents wouldn't hurt either. I agree with the other poster who said if parents (or you) act first, anything the aunt did at a later time would be considered retaliation. Handicapped parents many times can be the best parents, but it sounds like they do need some help with setting boundaries.
I think I would stay put if I were you. He knows where the
door is and can use it if he chooses. Your first concern has to be your children and you should not have to find a place to live if he is the one who has the problem with you. If there is no adultery involved here, don't rush into divorce. Divorce is painful and can get nasty. Sometimes just being away from each other can "calm the waters" and allow you to make a more objective decision. I speak from experience. My husband and I divorced very hastily when we were very young after less than 2 years of marriage and then remarried, had 2 children, divorced very hastily again and then remarried again. Had I just been a little less in a hurry I could have saved myself a hiney-load of money and a lot of heartache by just being away for a while and then making an objective decision. Instead, I rushed into divorce and paid dearly. 
Stay away from CC....
If you have been having problems meeting the minimum payment on any CC, by all means don't go opening another credit card. Your credit report will be an absolute mess. I know it's 0% interest for one year, but read the fine print - there is usually a fee of some type, plus, can you pay it off in one year before the interest starts up? You never know what will happen in life and you may not be able to make the payments, the rate goes up, and you are in deep doo-doo.
Sallie Mae is high interest, your 401K is better. With 401K you are paying yourself back with interest. It's a no-brainer. No one gets your money but you. Is it possible to borrow again from a 401K if you already have a loan out? Having the money deducted automatically from your paycheck and put back into your 401K is the safest and smartest bet...as long as you have a job.
If you ABSOLUTELY have to have this other loan for $7,000 then the 401K should be your only choice. Can you do without the $7,000 and get back on track before getting deeper into debt - or at least until you pay off the existing credit card?
Why would you want to stay...
with someone who is, as you say, mean? If you are not happy, LEAVE! When you stay you are condoning his behavior. Some women want to be martyrs, others want to live a great life. There are great men out there; wallowing in self-pity does not get you one though.
Well, obviously we don't want to stay
somewhere where there's still a lot of damage. That's why I'm asking for personal experiences, and hopefully recently. We don't want to book a beach house and when we get there find out it's in the middle of a big mess.
stay vs go
First, I am so sorry for your situation...that being said, the kids will definitely pick up on the negative vibes between you and your husband. As far as your question goes, I think only you and your husband can know the answer to that one. Just be very aware of your kids and behavior changes, emotional lability, etc. Trust me when I say, they are not dumb...they will pick up on what's going on, no matter how hard you try to hide it (yes, I'm speaking from experience...). Good luck!
You definitely need to stay on top of this...
The kids who you think are least likely to commit suicide are the ones that actually do...that is not meant to scare you by any means...most kids find it easier to write down their feelings than actually expressing them face to face so the fact that he wrote this means something is bothering him...I think you should both talk to your pastor..good luck...(((HUGS)))...
I think you should just stay out of it.
It is just humiliating for kids when their parents act up or cause a scene.
The name of the game is fun. Your going into the game wanting your son's team to beat the other team because of YOUR issues with another parent is very immature and selfish.
Trust me, we've watched parents like you've described yourself (and others, in fairness) acting out and it is so unsportsman-like and completely immature.
Embarrassing for everyone.
To Done: STAY !
No husband is perfect, we are all human. Your husband has a lot of good qualities. Think of your children! I think you are spoiled and unthankful. Maybe he is right and is better than you. He loves you, why don't you; I think you are just bored.
If I don't have anywhere to go, I stay
in my jammies. I usually get up and take the kids to school in jeans and my jammy shirt. Then come home and put the jammy pants back on. If I don't have anywhere to go, I don't get dressed until mid afternoon when I break for lunch. I usually put something in the oven and hop in the shower. Sometimes I just put clean jammies on, sometimes I get fully dressed. Either way, my contacts go in and my hair gets done. My husband likes me either way, as long as I'm clean. I find I wear my jammies more in the winter and am more likely to get dressed in the summer, probably because kids are always coming and going in the summer.
At any rate, I tend to be more productive when I'm dressed, so I should probably try to do that every morning, but I'm just not a morning person. Every year for Christmas, my mom gets me "work clothes" (jammies)!!!
Where we stay in NYC.
We stay at the Embassy Suites on North End Avenue right in the financial district. It is walking distance to to the Village, China Town, Mulberry Street, etc. It overlooks the Harbor and you can see the all the helicopters coming in and out. My husband always goes to Battery Park to watch the helicopters. It is not too inexpensive, but you do get free breakfast and there is a happy hour at 5:00 p.m. if you like to have a few drinks, which will really cost you in the city. There is also a fantastic deli 1 block away that we always hit for a late night snack. We go at least once per year, sometimes twice or 3 times. We love it.
Friends of Our's..
are separating and might end up divorced uggg.
They are the couple that we went on our summer vacation with. They have no kids luckily.
SHE is unhappy and has been since June I guess. He has been talking to hubby about it all on MSN Messenger and asking for advice. It has to do with her Religion, she goes to the church where they meet in homes and she wears skirts. I can't think of what she calls it but he isn't into that Religion and refuses to go to church with her and that is causing problems.
Anyway, she won't be happy unless she finds a guy in her church, that way, they will go together, ya know?
I feel bad for them but it might be for the best I don't know.
DH saw it with friends and they all
loved it. He reports it is very good and very gory. Critics hated it, but it is raking in the money because fans love it. It is more of a guy movie, but that doesn't mean a lot of us gals won't like it too. DH and his friends all researched the subject before going, they were that excited.
ooh, I never said he and I were friends...
I tried being *friends* with him for about 8-9 years after but he was never my friend (nor his own friend) - but with passive-aggressives - if they don't want to change, forget about them *cooperating* - WE EVEN DID THERAPY prior to the divorce but it was evident to the therapist that he was lying and playing games.....power tripping games too.
No, what I meant is he is in a better place today in HIS life, kids are doing their thing and communicating with both parents, and my life is great because I'm FREE....for me, it's all about freedom and having nobody trying to *control* me.
Good luck in your choices, they are not easy choices by any stretch of the imagination....
Where are her friends?
This young woman is in pain and is hurting. She needs help. Where are her friends? Instead of demonizing her, her mother, K-Fed, father - is he in the picture - former pastor, someone should be with her and get her to go into intensive private therapy. The girl is melting down in front of the world and no one is trying to help her.
I don't condone illegal drug use or misuse of legal drugs, but I really don't care if her problems were caused by drugs or something else. She is a human being in pain and needs help, not ridicule or judgment.
Where are Nicole, Paris, Lindsay, all the blondettes were ready to party with her in order to get their own picture in the tabloids? Where are the publicity agents, talent agents, etc., who made thousands of dollars off Britney's career? Someone needs to step up to the plate for her.
I should add that Pam and I were friends (sm)
not just in Bunco but had gone many places together, spent lots of time at each other's homes, had our children play together, etc.
best friends?
How many of you have bonded with a person...ala best friend...out of your immediate family?...to the point where you trust this person more so than a family member?
I have friends..not close...I'm close to only my sister...
I know one acquaintance that spends all her time with her best friend...I mean they have morning coffee together..take family trips..am and pm visits...I don't know that I could be that close to someone without it bugging me abit even though she was a good friend...
Confusing maybe..just thought I'd throw it out there..its a thought I had...
If they are your friends
Then they will take your feelings into consideration also. If you don't want to hang out, you don't want to hang out, no harm in that.
that's what my guy friends said!
and then nicely they of course told me that's why I wouldn't be allowed to live there.
haha
that's what my guy friends said!
and then nicely they of course told me that's why I wouldn't be chosen to live there.
haha
yes he does and he says his friends liked it
because he thinks his teeth look like hers now. It's my issue not his, thank goodness!!!
I guess it's because his teeth don't cascade naturally. He did have a palatial expander, which may have something to do with it.
Friends....sm
I have 3 friends who have been wonderful over the years. One I have known nearly my whole life, one for almost 20 years and the other for about 10 years. Then I have my sister and 2 female cousins who are absolutely 3 of my most favorite people in the entire world. I am truly blessed.
friends
My sister is still very good friends with her best friend from high school and it is cool to see them get so old. I am the older sister and in my head they were goofy, skinny teenagers, and now they have all these kids and it is amazing. Me and my best friend in high school did not last past me having a baby. She never married and I guess she felt like we did not have anything to talk about anymore.
Friends
I've run into quite a few of these type of individuals through the years. Oftentimes, it turned out to be a family member of the boss, owner, etc., or someone who got the job through a friend, OR someone who just happens to look good. It seems that experience and talent/ability are not the qualities that get the job nowadays.
You really have to stay on top of the cards
I do a lot of card flipping with balance transfers but also calling and trying to negotiate new deals. I just switched one with a balance transfer at 3.9 for the life of balance and then talked them down to a purchase rate of 8.9 (it had been up in the high teens). I also talked a card I've had a while into a 2.9 for the life of a balance transfer instead of the 12 month offer they were having because there was a delay in the electronic transfer to the other company causing me a bit of inconvenience. That transfer was actually for a loan I had at a pretty high interest rate, so some loans can be put on cards too which I never knew. I find websites that list ALL the latest offers for all or most card companies and I'm always checking. Sometimes I call my cards and tell them I am thinking about switching unless they can give me a similar/better rate or deal. Often they will so as not to lose the business. I have saved a ton of money doing this - it is sort of like consolidating on your own. I can post the site if anyone is interested, don't have it handy right now. Oh..I also have automatic electronic payment setup to pay a certain amount each month from my checking so the payment is NEVER late. You are so right about that, that's where they get you! I just thought maybe some of this info may help someone, I hope so. My credit is very good now but had been a mess in the past.
Remind me to stay
 away from that doctor!!!
Did he marry her so he could stay in the U.S.? nm
.
I go there frequently and would not stay in
the Flamingo. It is right downtown but a very old place, the smoke when you go into the casino is terrible, not as classy as I like. It might be cheap but then you get what you pay for. I love the Mirage, stayed at Treasure Island, very nice also, favorite though is the Bellagio, more expensive than most on the strip. Love the buffet at the Luxor. MGM might be alright and at the end of most of the strip but I would think ok as far as a place to stay.
To make it stay that way
If you want everything on your computer bigger: right mouse click on your desktop background. A little box should pop up. Click on 'properties'. Then click on the settings tab. There should be a little sliding scale with the screen resolution. Move it to less resolution (left). Then click 'apply'. Your screen may black out for a second, but when it comes back, everything should be bigger. Certainly saved my eyeballs!!
Also if you stay away you are letting him win(sm)
As that seems to be his goal -I would not let him keep me from seeing the rest of my family. However, I also would not want my children exposed to his mouth, so if you cannot stay in a hotel,I would go and visit without your children, which I do sometimes as well. I see my family about twice a year, usually once by myself and once with the kids, at which time we stay in a hotel.
Its wise to stay away
I had a C-section and had planned to stay at my mom's for a week or so to recuperate. As soon as I got there, I put the baby in the cradle in the living room and started to put some things away in the bedroom. I could hear my step-dad saying "get 'im, get 'im" to his dog....I went out there and he was actually encouraging his schnauzer to mess with the baby! I came real close to braining him with a can of tomatoes over it. I left and refused to bring the baby to their house as long as he was in it. My mom, too, chose the step-dad over her kids. Now he's dead and her relationship with her kids is rocky, and she regrets it.
Need help with a dog that will NOT stay off furniture (sm)
We have a black lab in the house - had him since he was a puppy. He was/is not allowed to be on the couch and other furniture but....he considers it a challenge. If I am in my office, he will get on the couch and jumps down as soon as he hears me walking into the family room. I don't know how to make him stay off. He is a very smart dog and we challenge him in other ways with training. One of my kids will be home for the holidays and has allergies. The dog hair on everything is getting to me real quick! He is 2 years old now. Forget the dog bed - he looks at it and laughs!! 
Can help you on this, we stay at the Bellagio
and hear that is higher up on the scale of rates.
Do NOT stay just because of the age of your kids.
Being unhappy does affect your kids, whether you are abused or not.
3 yrs and 3 months. Stay over every other
xx
I'd try to stay calm, but (sm)
One thing I told my now-husband years ago was that I had to have honesty enough to know if he needed something from me that I was not giving, that he was not to go looking elsewhere for something without asking for it at home.
In this day and age, with STDs being they are, there is no excuse for adultery. It's not just thoughtless and hurtful, it's irresponsible with someone's life.
As far as being calm, I'm just not sure temper or tears works in a situation like that. I think many men "turn you off" when you get in that situation and nothing gets heard or accomplished, and something needs to get resolved with you guys PDQ.
Stay together for the children - yes or no? (sm)
Husband and I have been on the verge of divorce for years, trying to stay for kids. But now we can't seem to stop arguing for more than a week at a time. He is including me in none of the decision making and acts as though we are already divorced. I am worried about the effects divorce would have on my children, emotionally, financially. But part of me is ready to just plunge into the unknown. I almost feel like I don't have a choice. Would appreciate opinions and viewpoints either way.
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