Do we continue to give a gift? Help!
Posted By: Trixie on 2007-12-28
In Reply to:
In DH's family you give to the godchild and godparent at Christmas. My DH's godchild is in her 20s, loves the labels, and does not respond to questions of what she would like for Christmas. The past three years we have not received a thank you for any gift. We were not able to attend the family celebration for the past two years but there this year. Did not receive a thank you after opening the gift or as she was leaving the house. Spoke to MIL later and said I was done with buying her any gifts as nothing is appreciated or even given the courtesy of a thank you. MIL insisted we still buy a gift, even a small gift under $10. I don't agree. Am I being harsh? I don't just buy anything - I take the time to shop and consider who I'm buying a gift for. Any advice?
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So you just continue to give money to grown folks
because they are too lazy to work? You could do 1 of 2 things- take the children or call the family and children services if they are not being cared for. I would never continue to support people who did not want to help their self.
Oh, so we must be old if we rather give a gift than money? SM
I happen to agree with Annie! It's not my problem if the bride and groom over spent for their wedding. I didn't ask them to spend a dime. I didn't ask them to invite me. So why should I feel compelled to give a huge monetary gift to help them with the cost? Besides this particular bride and groom are not shy about bragging about how "blessed" they are. I happen to think it's tacky that they would have such a huge, traditional affair for their SECOND marriage! They've invited 200+ guests. I had no idea there would be a bridal shower until I got an invitation to that in the mail the other day! They are merging to complete households -- what could they possibly need? Each owns their own home with all the furnishings.
I'm not very happy with this whole wedding affair anyway. My daughter is the flower girl, my son is an usher, and I'm in charge of the guest book (whatever that means!). I've had to buy myself a dress and my son a new suit. The bride is furnishing my daughter's dress, but I've had to buy the shoes and have been instructed that she needs to have her done up at the beauty shop the day of the wedding at my cost!
And now I have to think about a bridal shower! Ugh! If I ever get married again, I am going to spare my family friends this circus and get married in my backyard! It'll be a kegger with all the BBQ you can eat. Just come as you are and bring a covered dish! 
I used to give my grandparents gift certificates to the local grocery store, sm
they would use them to buy special things like shrimp or other things that might cost a bit more that they wouldn't normaly buy for themselves. My parents are that age and I have given them restaurant gift certificates or if they have family out of town, prepaid phone cards, because I know some folks that age don't like paying for long distance calls.
Say nothing if you want it to continue - sm
I said nothing to my MIL, nor did my husband, no matter how ugly her comments were, what lies she told, you name it. He is very nonconfrontational and said we should keep the peace, but it finally reached a boiling point last spring and I unloaded on her. All she could say was that she was sorry, that she had her own issues, blah, blah, blah. I now find myself very resentful towards my husband for not shutting her up on day 1. Long story short, that was nearly 30 years ago now and I SOOO wish these things had been said earlier. She knows where I am coming from now and she knows we will not be her dumping ground any longer. Dr. Phil says we teach people how to treat us...Best of luck to you. 
Then why continue working for MQ? nm
x
She'll continue riding the bus unless she gets....sm
a job that starts as soon as school is out.
I started driving to school the day I got my driver's license, but that was because I was working 20 hours a week learning transcription in a doctors office, working from 3:30-7:30 p.m. With that, being in band and drama my parents were literally counting down the days until I could drive so they wouldn't have to tote me around. My brother and sister weren't involved in extra activities and their after school jobs rarely were scheduled at times for them to drive to school, so they had to ride the bus.
There's no way I'd give a child a brand new car for their driver's license/birthday gift. Here in the Atlanta area there have been a lot of wrecks with teens whose daddy gave them a brand new Mercedes or BMW for their 16th birthday and to "thank" their dad they wrecked it and either killed or nearly killed another person. Even if we were rich we wouldn't just buy a car for a child. Our oldest gets a car only because it was her moms, but even then she won't have 100% free reign over it. She also doesn't have a cell phone and will not be allowed to get one unless she gets a job to pay for it.
Why do some of my posts continue to be deleted and yet
other people who write things such as this lady are allowed to stay on the board?
Things like this happen and will continue
There is a lot of flapping going on when this happens but the copycats are not just there, here in my state as well as I am sure in every other. Gun law is not changing. People have gone completely bonkers when it has to be politically correct, just makes me nausated. Kids cannot be kids anymore because games we played not good for them now, jungle gyms should not be played on- they might get hurt- and this is just 1 example of a looney being left alone because even the college apparently could not let his parents know and they probably knew anyway. Closing the campus down- well he was a student, right and so he would have access to there is that not true? There is no way to protect people when you have someone so bent on destruction. We would have to be a total police state. It just gets worse by the day.
Should your husband continue to associate
with him says something about his character, IMHO.
My DH is a great guy, lots of good friends that he has worked with for over 25 years. A few years back one of his friends, a fishing guide on the side, took all the guys out for a 2-day trip, everything paid for. After a day of fishing, the guys decided to go to a strip club before turning in; my guy doesn't go for things like that and told his buddies so. After taking much ribbing from them, he stayed at the hotel and they all went out. The next time a free fishing trip was offered my hubby said thanks but no thanks, he didn't want to be in a similar position again, he doesn't think strip clubs are a place a married guy should be going to. After being good naturedly heckled by his friends and being called morally upright, they went without him. He still has those friends to this day, however, has boundaries with them. Golfing for the day or fishing for the day fine, but they know that if they are going to the strip club don't bother inviting my guy.
Your DH can still be friendly with him but should set some boundaries.
Well that is kind of rude to let a baby continue to cry
x
Right, and I haven't said we are licensed to continue living in it (sm)
But guess what? I need to lose some weight! Do you think if people on the street start pointing at me and telling me to get myself under control that I am going to do it? No! If God wants me to change something, he will convict me in my own heart and let me know it. I don't need YOU to tell me, nor does anyone else. Can you not see that?
By the 4th day, I would be too sore to continue the rest of the week...
LOL
A lot of people are so desperate for work that some will give you free bids and give you ideas while
nm
If you and other parents don’t understand, then their or yout children will continue
to wreck havoc. It should never have been something the mother bought and allowed this girl to take to school. School policy and yes it is as much black and white as you can get. Sure it is written down and this is CONSIDERED a weapon, pepper spray- anyone with an ounce of sense knows this.
that is too cute!!!! but as long as people will fix VR mistakes, it will continue on the roll it is
;
Yeah really they will punish this woman but continue to allow the illegal scalping.
I can't even believe anyone actually goes to concerts anymore. I stopped when the scalpers started to buy them all up within seconds of going on sale and then posted them on ebay for up to 10 x the value. I won't buy into that crap. Wish nobody else would either, maybe would put a stop to it. :)
You do not give them food, you give
the children food but if they did not have the food to eat, probably would call family and children services. I do NOT give away money to anyone.
What's your best gift
Dh totally outdid himself this year by getting me a Kodak Easy Share digital camera and printing dock, and a new cordless phone with answering machine so he can leave me messages when he needs to.
Well, we know you were definitely given one gift....
stupidity.
LOL
re: gift
I don't think there would be anything wrong with giving them a nice gift! So what if they're distantly related to you! You enjoyed their company and you could write that in whatever card you send with the gift. I don't see anything wrong with wanting to bless someone with a gift because they touched your heart!
God bless!
Gift
What a wonderful, thoughtful gift. It will mean so much to them.
Lilly
Yes it's a gift tax...
And in our state, its 39% tax. Unfair, plain and simple...
I know these get old, but have gift ?
My stepdad's mother is in a small nursing home. I have called and spoken with the owner about getting some gifts for the residents who maybe don't have family. Those gifts I can figure out, but I wanted to get the owner of this facility a small gift. She is an absolute angel with these people, most of whom have Alzheimer's. I don't know anything else about her really and I wanted to stay away from gift cards only because I am absolutely broke! Any ideas for something small to show my appreciation?
Gift From the Sea by....
Anne Morrow Lindbergh... Cat
You have a gift. Perhaps someone with
a similar gift as yours could refer you to someone. It's not an easy road. My daughters both have gifts and I have sought and received help for both of them from those with similar, more advanced gifts.
Good luck.
If Somebody Gives You a Gift?
How do you react when somebody gives you a gift that is not to your taste? It could be something for the home that doesn't fit in, a perfume that smells like dead roses, or a food item that came out of their kitchen that you know you would never eat because you know how they don't clean the kitchen. I try to be gracious and thank them for thinking of me, but sometimes it's really hard to say "Ewww...what were you thinking?". I have one friend in particular that never, ever fails to give me something that I will either donate to Goodwill or re-gift to one of the relatives that I know would just love it.
best gift
I was unemployed and so poor and my neighbor went up to the mountains and cut down two chrismas trees and gave me one. Years later, I dragged one down to the Salvation Army to give anonymously to a name I got off a wishing tree to a man who asked for a Christmas tree.
a gift
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheFLYLADY
a gift
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheFLYLADY
An easy gift would be
to just get her a gift card to the mall in your area at the service desk, and she could use it at any of the stores there in the mall.
If you want to get a gift, gift, do you know any of her interests?
Gift Card
Just a note. I learned from my daughter and my neices that the VISA gift cards are the prefered gift card. They can be used anywhere salons, stores, and even gas stations which for a 16-yo can be a lifesaver.
Gift Certificate
On the page where you enter your credit card information...look towards the bottom of this page...you'll see-Enter new gift cards, gift certificates or promotional claim codes. This is where you enter your code.
teacher's gift
If your kid has the teacher in the above posting, you could send him a few good lesbian porno websites.
Don't everyone tell me how rotten I am - it was too funny to see this post right after the one about the teacher with the porn on his computer.
My best gift this year
Was from my daughter and she gave me tickets to go see our new baby panda here in Atlanta as soon as she decides she wants to walk. She is a little over 100 days old and they say she should be up and around before too long. Well, one thing for sure- the tickets are good for the next 6 months so the baby has that much time to make up her mind!
What was the best gift you GAVE?
mine was the digital camera to DIL. She is very reserved, but actually started crying, and jumped up and gave me a HUGE, LONG, hard hug! I was shocked!! She had mentioned wanting one last year, but didn't tell us until a week before Christmas, and we already had our shopping done by then. She said we even bought the one she had picked out, and was planning on getting after the holidays, hoping it would be on sale. It is the Kodak one with the printer. I told son later, she took the award for the BEST reaction EVER to a gift!!! He laughed and agreed.
I'd have to say the most DISAPPOINTING reaction was one I expected. It was from SIL. The one I talked about on here, never gives me any feedback, is so exasperating. I had given her a Creative Memories Carry Case, filled with scrapbook making supplies to get started, and three scrapbooks to start with, one with refills. One was a gorgeous victorian one, one was plain navy blue, and the third was a purse sized one, I was thinking to put grandkid pics in. She opened it, and said nothing. I said I hope you like it, I know how creative you are, and how much you love to do crafts, etc., I thought you would create some AWESOME memories for the kids with these! She just said yeah, thanks. *sigh* BIL said he thought it was a great idea. I don't know. It was a letdown to me though, I was REALLY hoping she'd LOVE it!!
What a great gift!
I used to get a free massage once a month when I worked at my chiropractor's office. Now it's like twice a year, if that and I really miss it.
I always leave my underwear on under the sheet and like everyone else said, the therapist should keep everything covered except the part being worked on. The parafin treatment is nice also, especially for tired hands and feet.
ENJOY YOURSELF!!!
need gift idea
Our sons had a special needs teacher in 6th-8th grades and she was wonderful, so when my oldest graduated to high school, I had a dozen roses sent to her with a note written by my son thanking her for giving him the confidence he needed in school, to learn how to read at a better rate, and let him know how smart he was. He went on to high school, construction technology and made the honor roll. She certainly made a difference in his life and our life as parents and she gave him the confidence to believe in himself. A talking picture frame is a wonderful idea with a message from your child to the teacher. I wish they had those years ago.
gift idea
You could do a scavenger hunt. Orientaltrading.com has some good reasonble priced gifts.
I made these for a friends child's birthday to give to her friends in a gift bag. Typed it up on cute colorful paper and put items in a ziplog bag.
Friendship Survival Kit
A toothpick - to help you "pick" out the good qualities in others and yourself
Lifesaver candy - to remind you of the many times others needed your help and you theirs
Hugs & Kisses - for when you need a hug
A puzzle piece - without you, your friends aren't complete
button - to remind you to sometimes "button your lip"
bandaid - for hurt feelings, yours or someone else's
cotton ball - cushioned support of fiends for the rough road ahead
Marbles - to replace the ones you've lost
Candle - for you to share your light
Tissues - to wipe the tears of joy and sadness
penny - so you'll never be broke
Mounds bar - for the "mounds" of love and support between friends
Gold thread - to remind you that friendship is the golden thread that ties together the hearts of everyone
rubberband - try to be flexible
eraser - to remind you that everyday you can start with a clean slate
Jewel - because you are as valuable as any precious stone!
And why was it appropriate for a Christmas gift? lol
fd
b'day gift
I'll tell you what, I'd hate to go empty-handed too, and I know the BEST b-day gifts I have ever have involve mud packs, facials, massages, etc. Especially if she is a working mom, or just working, she will love you for it!!!
Thank you! Now, Gift ideas?
The 20th anniversary is China. We love Chinese take-out and actucally our dining room is done in a Chinese theme. I promise you it is not "over the top". It is so suttle we still need a few decorative pieces. I tought that whatever I give him, if it will fit, I would put it in a Chinese take-out container. He wouldn't understand it until I explained it, but would then really appreciate the sentiment.
Gift certificates
I think gift certificates for a grocery store, restaurant, beauty salon/spa, or nail salon would be great.
Gift help needed....
For my hubby's company Christmas party this year, we need to take a wrapped gift ranging in price of $18 and $22. They are doing the "everyone pick a gift" sorta thing. So, it will need to be for male or female, ranging in ages from 20-60. See my dilemma? I am thinking a gift card wrapped in a huge box. LOL
I would appreciate your suggestions!
Thanks!
Gift for receptionist sm
This receptionist is Indian and is probably Muslim, takes alternative religious days off which are totally unfamiliar to me, told she is Muslim, last name is Indian. Would like to include her in a Christmas gift for all the office girls, which I would wrap just plain but don't want to leave her out.She is very plain, no make up, no nonsense type of person.Would like to know more about their customs at the holidays.
gift suggestions
5 of us would like to give gifts to 4 tech guys in our office, any suggestions, TIA
gift for owner
How about a pillar candle tied up in tulle with a gorgeous bow? (If you can't make a bow, these are available in stores.) She won't care that you didn't spend a lot, but love you for thinking about her. Or, even less expensive, make her a batch of homemade candy or cookies and present them in a pretty tin - everyone likes to get homemade goodies.
I got a 200.00 gift certificate towards a new sm
pair of glasses. My mother in law kept saying "I hate to give you money. You always use it for bills". So I saw a flyer for eyeglasses and told her to get me a gift certificate there and I could go pick out a new pair of bifocals which I desperately need and never find the cash to go get. I have vision insurance but that only pays some. My glasses usually run around $400.00. I have to get the transitional tinted lenses or I can't see outside in the sun. It's still a bill though, go figure. She made out, though. Got a senior citizens discount, LOL.
Funny gift
My kids got DH a Fart Fan. It is a powerful little handheld fan that blows flatulence up to 100 feet away. I am thinking of borrowing it when my hot flashes start in a few years!
You cannot put conditions on a gift. If you do, it
x
Gift basket sm
Google Dana Farber in Boston. They have a gift shop there. This may come in handy later when she starts chemo/radiation. For now, I would keep it light,perhaps a Women's Magazine that won't mention cancer, i.e., Martha Stewart, Real Simple. If she's having radiation, they are fussy about what kinds of creams, etc., so stay away from that. Gift certificates for pick-up by her family, hard candy, word search books,movie rental gift certificates. I would keep it upbeat for now and later when she starts treatment, she may need turbans, etc., that's when the web sites will come in handy. Think positive, a little angel something or other would be nice. And stay away from the "if there is anything I can do" stuff, just "do it." Sounds like you are doing just that. God bless you for it!
Gift Ideas
You can check out my web site www.marykay.com/kabrown7117.
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