Did you at least show concern for her aunt?
Posted By: See Inside on 2009-03-26
In Reply to: One thing that just gets to me is - My thoughts
See, when I read this, the first thing that jumped out was this woman had an aunt IN THE HOSPITAL HAVING TESTS DONE.
I hope while you were in the process of berating her grasp of the fine art of pronouncing various words that you at least inquired as to the welfare of her aunt.
I'm sure the woman had more on her mind under these circumstances than making sure she cleaned up her grammatical skills.
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
Well I am an aunt and great aunt
I spend a lot of time with my nieces and nephews. Even though divorced still hear from the in-law niece and nephew. I know that they are all different, their likes and dislikes and do something special with them that entails their likes. Not much money but time. Used to do Christmas crafts with them and the older ones over 21 still remember it and the fun we had. Like I have often said it is not the money you spend but the time and knowing that they like, taking an interest in them. When they were little -- especially my great nephews and niece, they would call and say that they needed some "special time" which meant that they wanted time with just them and so no matter what I would have going on I always had them over. I also never broke a promise or a committment to them unless I was on my deathbed and I think that they remember that also. And now that they are older - as am I -- they do more for me -- my 20 year old nephew and his friends took off my paneling and put up sheet rock in my living room, office and kitchen and did not expect pay nothing but lunches and Gator Aid. I tell them aunts are a little special and unique creatures, No matter if a grandparent, foster grandparent, aunt, cousin a lot of these kids just want time spent with them and for you to know them -- it makes them feel special. I am taking my second great nephew to Disneyworld for his graduation -- took his brother to San Francisco. So looking forward to that this summer.
Thanks for your concern, but sm
I disagree with you concerning the medical bill. I have watched enough People's Court and other court shows to know that it doesn't matter if you have insurance or not. If we didn't have insurance, they would be paying the full bill. They're responsible for the full bill, period.
We pay a premium every week to have insurance, and they shouldn't and won't benefit from that.
This is a neighbor who lives down the street from us. They're not friends of ours. Our daughter was friendly with their daughter. We've only been here about a year. They moved in a month before we did.
We have contacted an attorney who will have to help us settle this. These people have very little, if any, remorse. They had their dog out without a leash just a few weeks after this incident next door to our house! I had to ask them twice to put the dog up. My daughter was screaming and crying in the meantime!
I don't think you understand. This was a very traumatic event for my daughter. I didn't want to get too graphic, but the dog had to be pulled off of her hand. She had to run back home with blood dripping from her hand onto the street and sidewalk.
How do you think it's fair for someone to pay $87 for this trauma that their dog inflicted?
We were trying to be the nice neighbors and not sue from the beginning when everyone was telling us to sue. We thought we could work this out. I told the attorney that we want to sue for the maximum amount, including our lost wages.
If I had a dog that did this to another child, I would be devastated and would probably even get rid of the dog. I couldn't look myself in the mirror if I gave their family a check for $87! I think $800 was very reasonable.
This is a real concern
This happened a couple of times in a small town nearby us this week, it seems some perpetrators read the obituaries to see who won't be home since their attending a funeral, then robbing the people blind!
While our neighbor's son Dan was dying at his own place some guy came in and stole the Dan's golf clubs, and his TV.
I was going to attend the funeral, and a friend called me up the very day, and not friendly told me to stay home, and keep an eye on the house. I was kind of irritated with her at the time, but now I understand.
The #1 concern in my life is
my child and what she faces. Sorry, do not have a bleeding heart for your terms of what in years past just deposited in the nearest garbage can.
I can't even deal with these comments. Thx for your concern.
:
If this woman had any real concern...
If this woman really cares for these eight babies, she would give most of them up for adoption. There is no way she can raise this litter along with her other children in a responsible fashion.
Read all of this and it seems your main concern
here is at the very end, how do working parents deal with this, not about anything else much. You are in the dark about how parents (myself included) for years past dealt with children when the parents (myself included) worked outside the home. Talk about a mind blower, huh? We had either daycare, babysitters, some had grandparents who watched the children, other family members helped out some. Seems to me your concern is childcare mostly.
Not always, sometimes totally benign. The imbalance is a concern, though. nm
s
Buck stops with you. Your health is your #1 concern.
s
I would call the counselor out of concern for this child. nm
@
Anytime you feel that internal concern
it's important to follow through. Have him evaluated, perhaps multiple evaluations. You can't go wrong. Either your fears will be set aside, or you can begin early intervention.
I have no experience with autistic children, but I can tell you that my youngest child did many of the things that you list under "red flags". He obsessed over lining things up, particularly cars. In addition, he'd get VERY upset if you disturbed his line. He barely spoke until he was 3 years old. He always seemed distant to us, not wanting or giving hugs, kisses, not interacting very much. I really felt that he had some sort of serious delay. In comparison, his older brother was always very engaging, talkative, learned to read at age 3. We were very concerned about our younger child.
Fast forward a little bit... our younger son had a slow start in school, but by second grade, he was identified as gifted. He eventually came out of his shell, became talkative, and today is a confident, poised young man, quick to smile and hug his mother. He was just offered scholarships to two major universities. He is planning a career in engineering.
Our older son, who grabbed all sorts of attention for being so advanced, is a wonderful young man, too. He's level-headed, respectful, a real man of character at the age of 20. When he entered kindergarten, he was tested at a 3rd grade reading level, and was equally ahead of the curve in all the other academic areas. Teachers loved him. Eh, but all good things come to an end. He always marched to the beat of a different drummer, and he never was motivated by anything external to his own desires. As a result, he was never much for bringing home good grades. "I know the stuff, why must you all ask me to prove it?" He's returning to college today with a smile on his face and once again on academic probation. "Don't worry mom, you know I know this stuff." The odds are, he will most likely pull himself back up to minimum acceptable standards, just as he has all through his school career. I have a collection of failure warnings that spans years. But he's a wonderful human being and a honorable man, and very smart.
My point is, kids do surprise their parents! Good luck to you and your family.
I also have to consider my income - not just whether I enjoy the job; that is my main concern. nm
x
Oh, sorry, misunderstood. Listed under social hx, no mention of a health concern. (NM)
x
You aunt....
It sounds like you have tried very hard to look out for your aunt and what is in her best interest. Maybe now that her son has seen that someone is trying more to care for her, he may be NOW aware of just how much he really needs to be doing for her. Sometimes it's hard for a child to admit their parent has become so disabled that they need to be taken care of the way their parents used to take care of them, EVERYDAY! I hope your aunt can find a nice place where you can visit with her but of course, your aunt will always love her son dearly and just wants to be close to him like any parent. I just hope he realizes that.
I missed the show but yesterday on her show
a couple of brothers came in and gave money to the family. Sorry I don't have more info, but like you, I do love the show. The brothers tried to give some of the credit to Oprah but she wouldn't take it. She really wanted the brothers to get all the credit.
Elderly Aunt
Kimmie-
You are being extremely overly sensitive. Your aunt is elderly - have patience. Continue to be kind and forgive her for what you perceive as rudeness. Save the hurt feelings for things that are really important. 
Dipper
I would think that your aunt would be proud that
a man who was not a child's biological father would take her, love her and raise as his child, grieve when passes away and refers to her as his daughter. My sister and brother-in-law married when my sister's youngest child was 18 months old. That child is now almost 20 and refers to him as "Dad." Her biological father is alive but the relationship is strained because she had a child out of wedlock. The stepfather, however, loves the child that she had and refers to him as his grandson. 
Your aunt's comment....
''well, the doctors really do not want you to tell them what you think it is or what to do for any ailments.''
I don't understand why you are upset; she was talking about the doctors, not you, and her comment was pretty much right on. Unless I am misunderstanding.
I have some problems, probably fibro or a rheumatoid thing, and am going to doctors now for a workup. I do a LOT of research and I know a lot. But, in my experience so far, if you tell a doctor what you think it is, most will do everything in their power to prove you wrong or will just say no, if they don't think of it first. It's called arrogance and yes a holier than thou attitide.
So I guess I don't understand why this upset you.
What kind of aunt ?
You should have asked my brother about that. He did not talk with me for the last 5 years of his life because I married a black guy. He also decided to keep his children away from me. That was his decision. That was what he wanted. The SIL remarried, took her children away, had no contact with my mother hardly, their maternal grandmother (the mother of her husband, remember), no contact with the great maternal aunt of these children. Now go back and ask again what kind of aunt was I?
My aunt used to vacuum her cats.
She used to vacuum the cats, and they loved it. Plus, it got the dander off.
I thought it was the aunt. I'm confused now.
What did the grandmother do?
My aunt, who is just like my mother, told me
just this past weekend when her son sells his property, she plans to go live close by him and his new wife of about a year. I was kinda taken aback as she is up in years but always, always has been really self-sufficient and wanted to be. She broke her hip a year or so ago, recovered from that but still has slowed her down tremendously. She wants to continue doing her housework, gathering her groceries, etc. while having to use a rolling walker. I visit her out of state at least every 2-3 months and call probably every week. She would be moving to another state but the distance for me to travel to the other 1 is probably about the same distance I travel to see her now. I know in my heart she would never had said nor made this decision had it not been for her feeling the need to do so. My mother, her sister, has been deceased since the early 90s but she has taken me under her wing and now tells others I am her adopted daughter. She is really precious to me and I appreciate her being in my life.
Just read your post and my aunt the other day
was saying exactly what you were saying, was there not a good place that I could go to for a diagnosis on what my problems are. I do not know of a place like this at all. I can self-refer myself to a physician and usually do as I know about as much as the people I run into in the offices. After all my years of typing on all kinds of diseases, treatments and such, I do not need a person say 30 or more years younger than me to explain a diagnosis to me. I am sure I could tell them more than they could tell me. Just went to an urgent care place today for 1 of my problems and refused to weigh- the person taking history said I would have to because they would have to know my weight in order to give medication. I told them most medicines I know come in say 10, 15, 20 mg and I never weigh at any office and I see nephrologist, general, endocrinologist, etc. I refused to weigh, still got to see the physician and guess what, nothing prescribed! I probably have been in the medical field longer than this person on earth. on well, enough venting for the night.
My elderly aunt has just gotten 2 red marks
right under her eyes and she tried to see a physician today but was unable to, any thoughts on what this could be? She says bright red spots under both eyes.
Oh, I'm so sorry. I remember my aunt calling (sm)
to tell my mother that her boss had died. He was like a member of the extended family and the first person whom I knew well to die. I was maybe 11 or 12 and I can remember it like it was yesterday. I can only imagine your pain.
Sounds like you are indeed a Great aunt!
nm
carpal tunnel maybe......my aunt described
xx
I have an aunt that has it and she has to watch her sodium, did your sm
doctor tell you about that? (stay away from high sodium food).
We went to my husband's aunt's house once...
and they were having a get together because his uncle was dying of lung cancer. In rolls his three sisters and brother, all with their oxygen tanks and cannulas that they would have to take off to have their cigarettes. I found it fairly ironic and that is when I decided to quit smoking. Not the cancer, not the emphysema, but the ridiculousness of seeing people who can't breath because of smoking taking off what helps them to breath so that they can smoke. At any rate, I am not sure that I really have a point, just something that is interesting to me.
My aunt reported a Walmart employee
who left the ladies' room without washing her hands.
My aunt, kids grandmother, dads Mom.
Sorry for the confusion.
My aunt is elderly but her husband used to drink
This was the love of her life and they had a child together. They both worked, lived with her mother to help her out on bills after her husband died and everything except his drinking went ok. After finding him in ditches, getting DUIs, passing out and the like, nothing worked. After probably 20 something years my aunt divorced him because she knew he probably would kill himself, kill someone else or something horrible. It wasn’t that she didn’t love him but just could not live like that. That was over 40-50 years ago. She still speaks of him fondly (he died in another state in a ditch but had her phone number in his pocket) but I am sure she thought she always made the right decision. Myself, I just would not want to go through that, too much else to keep me busy. Thank goodness no children for you- would be really hard to subject a child to that.
Going to my aunt & uncle's house as usual
My husband, my parents, and I all drive down to my aunt and uncle's house every year. We usually bring something like pumpkin and/or apple pie.
You are comparing your aunt's boss to someone's child?
Sorry, just an odd response. There is nothing that compares to the loss of one's child. My heart goes out to the other poster.
Get this, older aunt of mine, DIL called and said if anything happens
to her- can you give me a call, in other words when she dies. This aunt is also great aunt to my son- I asked the DIL why don't you go to see her now (she is in middle 80s)- always an excuse, no car, no this, no that. She lives driving distance, about 170 miles from here. Just pitiful is all I can say- I visit her every 3-4 months and call her weekly.
Don't throw me down, Clark. I won't, Aunt Bethany
Geezus, you couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.
Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
(Christmas Vacation)
My aunt married a guy 28 years older
than her with 4 children, 2 older than her. (his 1st wife died when their youngest was 4, 10 years previously). They were married for 37 years, had 2 kids of their own, and everything worked for them, marired until he died. She and his family got along great, her parents on the other hand, had a rough time dealing with it until their 1st child was born.
My aunt went in the hospital for heart problems...sm
While in there they posted a sign on the door that said contagious or something to that effect. Well the family was like what does she have. The nurse said MRSA. They were like what? She has no symptoms. So later the doctor came in and explained she was a CARRIER of MRSA. She herself would never get symptoms of it cause she was immune due to being a carrier. But she can pass it on. I had never heard of this before and still don't understand it completely. It happened though.
Your aunt is a wise woman, and she is a strong person
for being a Pastor's wife. For some reason, Pastors seem to be the most difficult to understand about how to be sensitive to people, when it is their job to do so. No offense to pastors and to my husband. But when I loved him best when he delivered pizza and Sunday mornings I still feel put off. And those are the mornings I am probably the most up in arms about this control issue. I dont think that is what the Bible meant either. Thanks for your comment. Your aunt also sounds like she was a great example to women and men alike as the pastor's wife. :)
My husband's Aunt Delores, because she always tells everyone she loves them (nm)
x
Both my mom and aunt have had very good success with it. My mom, smoker for over 40 years, quit cold
turkey and says Chantix is the best drug out there - she tried everything!
I see that there are mixed feelings about this drug as with all drugs. Works for some and doesn't work that well with others. Sorry to hear about their experience!
Guess talking with dying aunt over daughter just shouldn’t happen
Yes I did say disconnect (have thought about that for some time just due to the excessive amount spent on land phone though and daughter suggested disconnecting also to save $$$) the fuss was the fact about others assumming something. I took what I considered to be the more important of the 2 calls- basically I talk with the daughter every week several times and the aunt - well what would most do?
You're aunt is bully, plain and simple and I would just stop visiting.
but I will tell you this, most mothers are going to voice their opinions to their kids about how they did things compared to out YOU do things. I think it's in the mother by-laws somewhere. :) My mother constantly tells me I'm too soft with my kids and I am. My mother was a strict disciplinarian similar to your aunt when I was a kid. Spankings were routine and generally with the belt or the fly swatter or any other object handy. That's why I'm so soft.
I let me mother know early on after I became a mother, that my kids are MY KIDS. She can give me advice and I'll always listen, but I will make the final decision on how and when to discipline my children and I and ONLY I (and DH too of course) will dole out any discipline necessary. Nobody else has permission to spank my children, EVER!
My mom and I get along pretty good now. I accept that she will be nosy and pushy and she accepts that I will ignore her and not call for a few days when she gets on my nerves.
I would just suggest being honest with your aunt and letting her know that you think you're a good mother, your DH thinks your a good mother and that your kids are doing fine and behave fine and if she doesn't think so, then she doesn't need to see the kids.
The show 24. Anybody know
when or if the show is coming back on Fox? What happened to it? 
TV Show 24
Do any of you keep up with this show? Have any of you watched it from the beginning? I'm just getting into it and wondered if it would be worth buying the previous seasons' dvds. "Jack Bauer fan"
I think you would like the show
Planet Earth on discovery channel. It's got beautiful photography and filming of animals all over the world. A recent one showed a fox snatching a baby snow geese from it's nest, and you feel awful but then it shows the fox bringing the food to babies of it's own and realize it needs food too! It's all a perfectly laid out plan and we humans are the ones who really mess up the balance on this planet. 
Anyone who can tell me what that show was about
I did not see and therefore cannot comment.
I like that show too.
nm
Has she been on the show
yet? I don't remember anybody named Maureen. I heard something, but it's a big time SPOILER so I don't want to say it, but I just can't think of who she is
It does not show W. VA. nm
:
the show is
The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet. Hopes this makes it on board.
|
