Defiant 2nd grader too
Posted By: worriedmomMT on 2007-12-07
In Reply to: Open for suggestions on dealing with a defiant child...sm - Inquiring mom
Wow! Is it the time of year or something? The last few months, my little boy has been absolutely defiant. He is fine in school, except when he goes to reading group (he does not like the teacher), he has tried to come home by having the clinic check his temperature. This went on for days until they caught on that he did not like the class. So he went to the guidance counselor and they are not allowing him to come to the clinic around reading group. (Boy who cried wolf.)
Now, at home he is angry all the time, complaining all of the time, rude to his stepdad, mean to me and his dad and my husband believe I have to spank. I have never spanked in my life and I don't even know how to approach that...Just today I was thinking there was something wrong with him, oppositional defiant disorder or some other diagnosis (see that's the MT in me), but reading here, maybe it is a phase (hopefully). Still I too am looking for a solution. His stepdad took his TV out of his room because my boy would not take a shower for days and he lied that he did. I was asleep because I work third shift at the time. But taking the TV away worked he took the shower. Then, I hear this morning when they were at the store he picked a glass beer bottle off the curb and just smashed it. I asked him why he did this and he was trying to think up some reason but he could not come up with anything. This worries me. The thing is it is nice you guys are talking about this right now because it is exactly what is going on in our house this very day! Any and all suggestions would be welcome. Sorry for the long post. :)
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I can tell you they are defiant at that
age. If I were to tell my daughter to make her bed or clean up the house, she argued. Then when I changed my tune and said be a slob if you want and acted like I didn't care and went about my business, she would make her bed and clean up around the house. They really test you at that age. Now that I look back though, I realize there was never a dull moment and I miss those days.
You have to keep thinking "unconditional love" to get you through the rough times with your kids.
Open for suggestions on dealing with a defiant child...sm
Our 3rd grader has been really giving us a hard time this school year with not behaving at home and at school. Some of the defiance is things she's picking up from other kids at school, i.e. talking back, but she's getting into trouble at school more often for not following instructions. So far talking to her, giving her restrictions and setting goals isn't helping turn this around.
So.... for you parents who have dealt with this, what things did you try to get your kid to "get it" on how to behave appropriately?
Your son has ADHD, probably combined type along with opposition defiant disorder in a nutshell...sm
Been there for 14 years. Tantrums, fighting constantly with younger brother and sister to the point of injury, i.e. kicking, punching, slapping, throwing hammers, knifes, hard soled shoes, scissors, you name it. He is wonderful outside of the house. He is considered a very nice boy who is very well mannered and a hard worker (as he likes to do yardwork. That part of it is the ADHD at work). I knew something was wrong when he was about 1 1/2 years old and his sister came along and he started hitting her right away. Everyone from teachers to counselors told me it was all my fault and that my son had found a great way of manipulating me. That is...until the fourth grade when two weeks after school started a miraculous thing happened. His teacher called me in to say something was terribly wrong and that she suspected ADHD. I got the referral for testing with a pediatric neurologist and he was diagnosed with ADHD combined type (the hyperactive part), oppositional defiant disorder, and a learning disability. It has been a tortuous 14 years, I can tell you that. I have four more years to go and although I love my son more than words can say, at the age of 18 HE IS OUT THE DOOR!!!
I also have a 1st grader.....
First grade is a lot more difficult than kindergarten and it is very sad that your daughter had the type of kindergarten year that she did last year.
My son is also a first grader this year. He had a really good kindergarten teacher with a class of 15. His first grade teacher is pretty good too, but this class has 23 (which is still low compared to other classroom averages in other schools, But what a difference a few extra students make!) I volunteer in his classroom every Monday and I am shocked at what is required out of first graders these days! This is such a difficult grade because kids are all at different levels at this age.
With extra support with her work she will do just fine, it will just require a little time and effort. I think it is very commendable that you and your husband do have an active role in your child's education and are willing to go the extra mile to help boost or supplement what she is learning in school. That will go a long way with helping her get through these first couple years of school without struggling too much.
If you are looking for a good program to help boost literacy and keep your daughter's attention- consider checking into the Letter People program by Abram's & Company. (They have a website.) My son loves the Letter People and they have helped to boost his desire to read. There are many other great educational programs available out there too. You will find something that she will enjoy! :)
8th grader
My absolute favorite was when they would get in fights while instant messaging on the internet. My daughter is a senior, and even she shakes her head and laughs about it now.
My neighbor has a (now) first grader - sm
and she has her ears pierced. Mom buys her semi-precious stones, opal earrings, etc. The kid loses them all the time. She has many, many singles now. I would not advise anything of expense for any child under the age of 12. Either get inexpensive CZs or birthstones that are under $20. Hypoallergenic posts are a must though.
My 3rd grader still believes as do all of her friends - sm
and I do not shelter my kids. They go to school, attend brownies, and dance. I hope she still believes next year, as well as my younger daughter (now 6). It is all part of the magic of Christmas and the mystic quality of all of it. Santa is a wonderful idea and ideal, promotes the joy of giving, whether it be a gift, or your time to helping others in need. I don't remember when I stopped believing, somewhere in the 8-9 year-old range but I had 2 older brothers but I believe my mom had them keep their mouths shut so I could believe as long as was able. I was a year younger than most the kids in my class too. ---to those who think its wrong to lie about santa, I presume this means your kids never had the joy of the Easter bunny or the tooth fairy as well. I think all that is part of a happy childhood.
Similar situations here with 4th grader
I also would think they would know better at that age, but obviously my child did not. Similar things happened to mine, not DS games as they are not allowed to leave the house, but with other things. We explained to him that it was his mistake and you can't trust everyone, even friends. He has had to deal with it on his own. It took a few tiems and now he has finally learned his lesson. Sometimes they have to learn the hard way I think. Even though I don't like feeling like I lost money but he's the one who lost the game, not me. He has to deal with the consequences.
August 22nd for my 1st grader here in Iowa
nm
not every child in the 3rd grade is going to have the mentality of a 3rd grader. some or ahead
and some arent. some still believe. there isnt that much difference between 1st, 2nd and 3rd graders...i am talking about an entire classroom of thirty children. she didnt use the word " exist"...she had children raise their hands as to what parts of the story is false and fiction...i just think she could have found a diff story, didnt have to talk about santa ya know?
My 7th grader is doing the Schoolhouse Rock as a musical this spring! nm
x
Teacher forces 3rd grader to unclog toilet
ST. GABRIEL, La. — Saint Gabriel police have arrested a third-grade schoolteacher and booked her with cruelty to a juvenile.
The parents of a student at East Iberville School filed a complaint against 46-year-old Julie Landry of Plaquemine, accusing her of forcing their son to unclog a restroom toilet with his hands May 7th.
Landry has been placed on leave with pay.
Landry is a first-year teacher, participating in an alternative certification program.
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