Deeni, I respect your opinion, but I held both my sons during circumcision......sm
Posted By: Cyndiee on 2009-02-08
In Reply to: Nola is very wrong - deenibeeni
my dirtly little secret, I used to be an LPN and CMA, used to surgical technology. It takes seconds, and while I had silent tears and I worried and fretted, but they were fine, and Nola is not misinformed here, being in clinical practice for years, and working for general surgeons, I saw many men, some in their 40s, 50s, and 60s, who had infection after infection because they could not retract the foreskin the right way, phimosis is painful and can become precancerous, and yes, we had some gentlemen with penile cancer. As I said, I was able to snuggle and nurse my baby boys both times right after circumcision, no problems. Men's anatomy is so different (!!!!) from female's (duh), so you cannot compare the unsterile, crude labial circimcisions done in third world countries with what is done in hospital for our baby boys. Anatomy just dictates this. I was so glad when my daughter was born, it was not even anything to worry about!
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Respect your opinion, but should only be last resort.
meow
I respect your opinion, but that beach is SM
very very small. During the week would be no problem, but forget about weekends.
Favorite South Florida beaches for me are 15th beach on South Beach, (but you have to have a great body! :)) and Hollywood Beach. That really is a lovely beach. Kind of cheesy boardwalk, but great beach.
North Fla, St. Augustine beach.
Sanibel Island also have really nice beach, but watch out for sand flies and red tide.
what would you know about it deeni?
nm
Deeni - Are you sure you aren't ME? LOL
I'm just sorry I went full-in and did not figure it out first like you did.
I hope you are happy now in whatever relationship you are in...
We get it deeni sweetie, you
are the noncircumcision queen! I bow to you. Bring your cause to Washington, march to the Capitol building and stop the so-called atrocity! Please become an expert on something else.
oh, i'd guess deeni has plain ol
x
circumcision, yes or no, definitely yes!
It is not a necessary procedure, I agree. But it is better to do it, out of hygenic reasons.
It gives a little pain for the baby, it most probably cries more for being exposed and cold.
It does not in any way minimize the sensitivity in later life.
There are cases where in later years the foreskin does NOT expand and leads to phimosis ( an abnormal tightness of the foreskin preventing retraction over the glans) and the then necessary surgical procedure is much more painful.
Just let it go, I say yes to circumcision...nm
nm
deeni, are you perhaps a man who is lamenting the loss of his foreskin?...nm
//
Mulisms and circumcision
Islam - Circumcision is not symbolic of being part of the Muslim community, as it is in Judaism, but most Muslims circumcise their sons. Though circumcision is not specifically mandated or mentioned in the Qur'an, many Muslims believe it is necessary because Allah ordered Muhammad to follow the way of Abraham, who circumcised himself. Many Muslims also believe circumcision is a form of cleanliness.
I am also going to speak to my friend Sharif and see what he experienced regarding circumcision growing up in Morocco as a Muslim.
By the way, to those who believe that all Muslims are terrorists and want to do harm to us, you really should meet some Muslim people and get to know them. They are some of the finest people I have ever known.
Jews against circumcision
http://www.jewsagainstcircumcision.org/
I am PRO CIRCUMCISION, so I am NOT A STINKY GIRL, YOU ARE! nm
nm
There is a religious not hygenic reason for circumcision.
Like so many Jewish commandments, the brit milah is commonly perceived to be a hygienic measure; however the biblical text states the reason for this commandment quite clearly: circumcision is an outward physical sign of the eternal covenant between G-d and the Jewish people. It is also a sign that the Jewish people will be perpetuated through the circumcised man. The health benefits of this practice are merely incidental. It is worth noting, however, that circumcised males have a lower risk of certain cancers, and the sexual partners of circumcised males also have a lower risk of certain cancers.
The commandment is binding upon both the father of the child and the child himself. If a father does not have his son circumcised, the son is obligated to have himself circumcised as soon as he becomes an adult. A person who is uncircumcised suffers the penalty of kareit, spiritual excision; in other words, regardless of how good a Jew he is in all other ways, a man has no place in the World to Come if he is uncircumcised.
My mom always held my car over my head....
and it honestly just encouraged me to lie to her. My kids are younger, so God only knows what I'll do when they are teenagers, as I know that is a very hard time, but your son is in college now, and I think it is reasonable for him to want to drive to see his girlfriend on weekends. I was always a pretty honest kid with my mom, but losing my car was a big deal, so I did lie to her from time to time, because even though I felt bad lying it didn't feel as bad as losing my car would have!
Is your son maintaining good grades? If so, I wouldn't worry about his texting or how much he is talking to his girlfriend, because I honestly think that is his business and he will have to learn some hard lessons by messing up - not by having his mom tell him how life is all the time. Sometimes you have to learn that you can fall and pick yourself back up. If he is getting really bad grades, however, then of course you should step in because you don't want him messing up that scholarship! I'm already afraid for when my boys go off to college because I know how much many college kids drink and party and am afraid they will drink too much or something and get hurt, but if your son is just wanting to see his girlfriend then that might actually keep him from partying as much as other college kids. Are you just worried that he will get hurt on the drive to see her or something? Does he have a safe car?
I would say just be careful. If this girlfriend is really nice and he feels like you "messed up" his relationship with her in any way he might try to get back at you by dating a "lesser quality" girl or something. Good luck to you. I'm sure this is a difficult situation, but it's great he got a scholarship and is a good kid overall.
Do you think infant male circumcision is child abuse?
Would you say that its child abuse?? Never thought of it that way before. Came across this article that discusses this question, interesting read. See link below.
You can be held in contempt of court and go
NM
the last time I held a leg of lamb...
it was frozen, from New Zealand....I just cradled it in my arms like a baby for a minute....$54.98...so I put it back in the freezer for the rich folk.
You'd really like lamb...it's got a very sweet taste.
Now, about the deer tenderloins....whoever served them to you didn't know how to season them correctly, bkz that is the best part.. Cat
No, you can not be held responsible for their bill -
nm
not a fluke - held in Mexican theater...
Held the door for a gal at the mall some weeks ago and
she just proceeded to walk through it and past me without a thank you. I muttered QUIETLY under my breath . . your're welcome.
We walked out into the parking lot and she turned around and said so nicely .
I am so sorry. That was rude of me. I should have thanked you. I immediately said, oh, that's okay. . no problem. She said again, No, I really am sorry. I don't blame you for being offended.
Wow! be careful what ya say!
Why is it when we WANT to be heard we aren't? lol 
Anybody use a hand-held steamer for your ironing? sm
I saw one of those "infomercials" for The Tobi and was wondering if anyone used this or something similar for all their ironing, and what your opinions may be. TIA.
My sons are 18 and 20.
One lives at college and the other is living at home while attending college. When they were both at home and under 18 I had the same rules as you, basically. During the week, except for their activity obligations of school, sports, scouts, they didn't do any "hang out" time. It did help that their high school was in the next county, and most of their school friends lived some distance away. When girlfriends came along, life was a little different. My oldest dated a girl who lived down the street. My youngest dated a girl who lived a good 30-minute drive away. Lucky for me, their parents had the same rules for hanging out. It was pretty much weekends only. My boys accepted it all in stride. But I have to say that I've been pretty strict about their attitude all of their lives. Since they first began to speak, they learned not to give attitude to their parents. In return, we always treated them with respect. The few times that they did raise their voices as teenagers, our conversation came to an end, and their requests were denied with no chance for a reversal of that decision. Worked nicely. But, again, I have to say we were very lucky in that most of their friends weren't right in our neighborhood and their girlfriends had the same rules.
The payoff is that now as responsible young adults, they've developed a good work ethic. Even my son living at college does well managing his free time, and will be an RA in his dorm next year, partly because he's shown maturity and isn't goofing off at college. (And I'm glad not to have to pay all of the room and board! Hooray!)
Sons
Boy this is sounding real familiar. I have a son who is a lot like yours. He is 16, very smart, but no motivation or willingness to work for good grades. I have wondered if part of his problem was that school came too easy for him in the early grades. He never had to study for spelling tests, etc. Now that he is in high school, he doesn't have the habit of studying. It is almost as though he doesn't even think about it. When I remind him that he has a test, he will study for a few minutes and get an A or B. If he really works at it, he can Ace the test. He doesn't really think grades are all that important. (I was used to my daughter's straight As and am trying to refrain from comparing the two kids.) I'm looking for ways to motivate him, and so far a lot of positive reinforcement is starting to help. Maybe visiting with the school counselor would help. My son is also looking for a job--I think he has too much time on his hands! The more time they have, the less they get done. Good luck.
He basically tackled another player and just held him down...and then punched him in the gut a few t
stupid on his part but he got a 15-yard penalty for it...he won't get fined
Yup, Nola is very right about the problems of not circumcising, I held my baby
boys when circumcised, they did just fine, went right to sleep, I held and nursed them right aferward....it is really a health, hygiene, and protective factor, phimosis and balanitis are two more beside penile cancer that can be positively linked, for some there are also religious concerns, too.
Sons in Military - Thank You
Thanks, next time I hear from either one of my children, I'll ask them about this. I wonder why the military just doesn't supply them with it ????? Thanks so much.
Both of my sons are in college now.
It's very easy to become overwhelmed quickly during the search. My husband and I approached the process a little differently. We didn't do anything like the other parents and high school juniors/seniors were doing. We did pretty much... well nothing. We let our kids lead in the process. We didn't even look at the applications unless our sons asked us to. We felt that our job was to guide them and to keep them from getting caught up in the college search mania that seems to grip everyone during those last two years in high school.
My husband and I went to the same, very large university (Temple U). Back all those years ago, it just seemed that there wasn't quite so much pressure on kids and parents when it came to college searches. We both chose Temple because it offered degree programs that we wanted and that we could afford. The campus wasn't pretty and it was a commuter school then, which meant that the "college experience" for us was living at home and going to school. College was more of a practical work-and-study experience for us. And we received very good educations.
Fast forward to our own children. We told both of our sons that they should think of their college experience as the preliminary work for their careers. They didn't look at it as a means to move away from home or be on their own. (No college student is really on their own when living in a dorm, anyway.) They needed to determine what area they were interested in studying and then choose a school that offered a good program and that we could afford. The affordability factor was a big one for us. No one wants to have huge loans at the end of this "experience".
Our oldest son was not quite sure what he wanted to do, so he wisely chose to spend a year at the local community college. We were thrilled! It cost us less than his high school tuition! He checked out different options and settled on a meteorology major. With that decided, he discovered that there was only one school that we could afford and that had a great program. He applied, was accepted, and his community college credits transferred. He is now a junior.
Our younger son wants to be an engineer, though he's not sure what kind of an engineer. He is leaning towards civil engineering. He decided to live at home to save money. That narrowed his decision down to just two schools, Drexel and Temple, both a short train ride from our home. He applied to only those two schools, was accepted at both, and received decent scholarship offers from both. In the end, Temple was far more affordable, and so now our youngest walks the campus of our alma mater. Our friends and neighbors were shocked that our oldest applied to just one school, and our youngest applied to just two. They were amazed that we weren't on constant campus tours or worried about "options" and "fits".
Why such a long post that seems a bit off-topic? Well, because I see so many people stress over this decision. It really isn't the end of the world. It's four short years of a person's life. They're important years, to be sure. But they don't have to be make or break years. Most college students will change majors at some point, many will transfer to other schools. These decisions can be re-made later on. You are in the market for a product, just as if you were shopping for a car or other big ticket item. Try to keep calm about it so that your student doesn't pick up on the stress. It is stressful, but if you keep it all in perspective, the stress doesn't have to feel so overwhelming.
And for the short answer: We liked visiting the schools at open house to get a general feel for the place. At that point you can usually tell if the school is a viable option or not. If not, no reason to revisit. If yes, then visit again and make an appointment for a personal tour and/or interview.
Don't worry! You'll survive!
We only buy for our two sons, and they are older.
The youngest (18) wants a decent digital camera, so I think about $250 to $300 range plus some stocking stuffers. Oldest son is easily pleased. He's big into hats, and I bought him a leather "Indiana Jones" style hat, and a book so far. We may round out his gifts with cash, since he's a starving college student. Husband and I do not exchange gifts. My birthday is the day after Christmas, and that is just dinner out for the two of us. Our 24th anniversary is in January, and I already know that I want to get him an iPod. His 50th birthday is in April, and I would love to have a party for him. I'm definitely saving up for that, but it will be a relaxed party.
While are Christmas will be fairly simple, looking ahead, I'm trying to budget for some other things.
Trained my sons to help sm
Since I was a working mom, I always told my sons to expect to help around the house. They didn't do it for me that often, but now that they're married, they cook, iron, babysit and go to the market without complaining. I think I did a good job. My husband also helped around the house, so they had a good example of what it takes to make it work when mom has to work. Whether you pay someone to help or ask for help around the house, it doesn't matter. I could not have offered my kids a college education if I did not work and save for it. Some men think it demasculinizes them and that's sad. I also shoveled snow,did what I could to help without gender bias if no one else was home. I did not feel strange doing what I could to help my husband either, as long as I could lift it, I did it. It takes a village. I used to sew, but I was lousy at it and that's why I quit. I never felt like what I did was good enough and wouldn't wear it. Curtains and drapes were okay but now you can buy them cheaper than what the material costs. Just IMHO.
I understand your fear! I have three sons between
17 and 20 years old. Now and then they talk about enlisting, and of course I worry about the draft. For selfish reasons, I want them always to stay close to home, where it seems to be safe. But it's a very high calling to serve one's country, and I would support that decision if my sons decided upon it. If the draft were brought back, I'd be terrified. I do not support this war. I don't think it was the right thing to do. But I do support the people who serve and respect their decisions and am incredibly grateful to them for their sacrifices. I will also continue to support them by doing whatever I can, small though it may be, to help bring them home AND keep peace for us all. I wish it were a simple thing.
As for our children, the fact is, once they are 18, they can make the decision to join without our consent. Talk to each other, love her and appreciate her. If she decides to serve her country, you do not want to part in anger, and trust me, you will want to support her in any way you can.
Prayers for your sons and all our soldiers! nm
!
LOL! Love it! Thanks. I'll be using this on my 3 sons! nm
///
My sons have been in Scouts for some time now...sm
My youngest (11 years old) was in Cub Scouts for about 3 years and crossed over into a newly chartered troop. My oldest son (17 years old) joined the troop also, mostly out of necessity (we needed his warm body in order to have enough boys to charter). My youngest loves it and my oldest is kind of lukewarm about it. I have also been a leader at the pack, troop, district and council level for over 4 years now. We are basically a scouting family and love it.
With that said, however, I will say that scouting is not for everyone, and everyone does not get out of scouting what is there for them to learn simply because everyone is not interested in learning those things or because of poor leadership within the scouting unit. In your case, it sounds to me as if the latter may be true.
You didn't say how old your son is or how long he has been in scouting, but it sounds to me like he has a very poor leader if he makes them camp this way. Some overly self-glorified scout leaders try to turn scouting into junior Army training which is not what it is meant to be. If there is another pack or troop in the area, you might consider changing and see if that improves his scouting experience by a new leader and better camping conditions. When we camp, each boy has his own tent (can be bought at Walmart for about $15) and we always have a campfire in a designated fire ring that burns pretty much all night. Each boy is safely enclosed in his own tent that zips up which greatly reduces the chances of spiders, snakes, bugs, etc. Of course the boys have to be trained to keep their tent flaps zipped closed at all times so that nothing gets in.
My advice from a scouter's viewpoint is to talk to your son and then you and your son and husband talk to the scout leader and see what can be done to improve the scouting experience for your son as well as the other boys in the unit. If the leader does not want to chanage his ways to more closely follow the scouting ideals, then find another troop or pack to join. Sounds like there is a LOT of room for improvement here.
Here is a link that may help, too. http://netcommish.com/askandy.asp
Those total sons of you-know-whats.
My situation was not QUITE the same.... It turned out I was the other woman; the guy I was dating and thought I was exclusive with turned out to have a fiance he didn't bother to tell me about. Looking back, there were a few hinky things I should have noticed, but they weren't the usual things, so I was thrown off my guard.
I do have a very good male friend whom I call my adopted big brother. (He's married, has been for decades, and his wife is aware that we are friends/business associates.) I asked him flat-out why men cheat, and he said (a) because they can, and (b) the thrill of the chase, or some bullhockey like that, that we testosterone-deficient females can't seem to understand, I guess. He also bluntly told me that I probably was not the only one, i.e. the only "other woman." I would not be surprised if that were true, but I never actually found out, since the SOB (and I do NOT mean 'short of breath') married the fiance and left town.
My best friend put it rather succinctly, when we were discussing another topic:
Men don't change, and women just learn to be abused gracefully. (Because this too is a form of abuse.)
My sons both learned that lesson the hard way
One had 1200 text messages in a month (I pay for 300) and the other did the same download thing. I wish there was some way you could block their phones after a certain amount of $$. Needless to say, both had a nice chunk of money to pay mom back.
Mary, I offer my prayers for the safety of your sons. SM
I thought brothers could not be in battle zones at the same time. Did they choose to?
and he should respect her the same way
by not giving her a hard time for going to church. It has to work both ways, or marriage simply cannot work at all. What a difficult decision, I hope it works out for them.
With all due respect ...
to you, children *deserve* food, clothing, shelter, medical care, education/instruction and LOVE. Anything else is out of the goodness of their parents' hearts and what the parents can afford. This sense of entitlement is why so many children are growing up spoiled, self-centered and unappreciative.
No respect for new name...
I have a friend who decided several years ago to change his name. His family knows his name (not far from his old as say used to be Michael and wants a shortened version say Mike.) The problem is his family does not honor his wishes to be called his new name and refers to him in the old name. Here recently he had an aunt out of town who died and my friend's brother was getting some flowers to be delivered to the funeral. The friend said be sure and use my name, the other one and the brother would not, saying no everyone knows you by your other name and the friend let that go through. I have told the friend he needs to take a stance on this but how would someone else handle this? His name change took place over 10 years ago and still they do not honor this. Any suggestions?
respect is
x
With respect . . .
Having grown up in a devote Catholic family, and forced to go to Catholic school all my life many, many years ago I have studied many, many religions in my search for Truth. Even as a small, small child, I could not buy the teachings of the Catholic Church. It is an organization bent on interpretation of Christ's teachings, run by men, and a control tool for the public, especially women. The idea that the Catholic Church is the one true church is ridicuous. Again, the key word here is its interpretation. Interpretation is going to be different to different people and different cultures. The Catholic Church was the greatest proponent of reincarnation until the 15th century when St. Augstine thought it afforded mankind too ample a time for salvation. It was a mystical powerful church, but felt that imparting sacred mystical teachings was only for the select few at the top, not their lowly congregations. It plundered and slaughtered thousands of humans to convert them. But then so have many other religions in the name of God. This is the problem with any organized religion. Don't get me wrong, there are many fine Catholics, and many fine people who believe in it. There is but ONE sacred bond that involves onto two sides, you and God. Nothing could be more sacred. You do not need an organization for that. It is a sacred private matter, just you and God. No one else. No one needs to belive or follow an organization, or think that the only way to God is through that organization. That is ridiculous, and a means of control.
Not really about respect for yourself always (sm)
Getting over caring what everyone else thinks about you is a major milestone in life. Wonderfully freeing. I wear shirts that are too tight sometimes because like I said, I can't afford to replace everything at once and am hoping to lose the weight and not need to replace everything. Meanwhile, I do have some things to get dressed up in for those times that I do care how I look. But on a daily basis, I really don't care what anyone else thinks.
With all due respect, and I mean that honestly, (sm)
You insinuated that just because one may not communicate every gory and painful detail of his/her past to the spouse, love is missing from the marriage.
Relationships are complicated and I find no problem with someone whose past doesn't interfere with the relationship not communicating it. If the relationship thrives status quo, then that's between them.
Respect is what I deserve.
NM
With all due respect moderator
I really do not think this is the poster. I have read her posts and she has always been very nice and compassionate. Not that it matters anymore, the poster that was starting arguments went under the handle of Z. I admit I was also nasty as she upset me by calling me a "goof" and kept escalating the discussion which then became a heated argument between the two of us. I apologize for my involvement in that thread and should not have let someone get the better of me over something stupid.
He doesn't respect your
mother, and doesn't believe she will be "mean" to him. Therefore she will end up having to do what he doesn't believe she will do IMO.
We are lucky in that respect
If we lose power it is usually only for a couple hours. My in-laws lose power all the time though and usually for 24 hours or more.
We live on a county line too. Funny less than 2 miles down the road is where 1 county turns around. It is like a straight line the plow draws across the road.
I hope you don't live in Northern Michigan. That is sure to be a mess for your daughter to travel to. I hope she doesn't push it. It can be dangerous out there at a moments notice.
He should have respect for his father and
I did tell him last night that he was the one who made the decision to quit school, not us. We went as far as to walk him to the bus, watch him get on and when he got to school, he would go in one door and out the other. Sometimes he would even slip off the bus during another stop. When we went to court the last time, the judge gave us the option of emancipation after he looked at the records, so we did that. That way, he was responsible for himself and we would not be dragged into court again (it was our 4th time).
As for my DH not working, he states that he could find work if he tried. (He owns a tri-axle and we all know what kind of highway work is out there right now.) If he wants to get another job around here, it would have to be a coal mine or as an over-the-road truck driver being gone for weeks at a time. My gosh, DH will be turning 62 this year. Do I want him to do the above 2 jobs? He was an OTR for 32 years and he's all I have now, so that's not an option..
It's bad enough when he's gone from 5 a.m. to 8 p.m. when there is work, so he's no slouch and he has even gone to work when he had the gout so bad he could barely walk, while the son takes off work every time he gets a cold.
I was going to call him this morning (he's laid off right now) and tell him he owes his father an apology, but I think I will let it go for one last time, although DH stated last night he's done with him. I certainly don't want this to get any worse.
Respect or giving up your free will.
If she wants to go to church, and have that church a major part of her life, why should she give that up. He shouldn't have to go if he doesn't want to either. Sometimes divorce isn't a sad/bad thing.
I do appreciate life and have respect for animals.
I just don't think they should be shoved in my face.
I agree - there are many children in stores who should be taken outside to be handled. However, people are NOT animals.
Unfortunately, most doglovers cannot appreciate this difference.
...staying when there's NO love and no respect for YOU. nm
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