Decided the same thing at age 40 - good for you!
Posted By: maxy on 2008-01-11
In Reply to: Did you ever just wake up and be done with the drama? - Ex People Pleaser
Of course, people did not like the abrupt change I made and it made many angry, but you know what? I do not care. I am a good wife, daughter, sister, and friend, but I refuse to be a doormat to anyone. Life is too short!
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I am the same age and decided the same thing last year.
Though, I fall back into old doormat habits, but I try to keep myself in check on a daily basis. You know people pleasing is a habit difficult to get out of. And by people pleasing, I seem to attract the wrong kind of people... I think the users of the world can smell a person who is willing to overlook users so they can help to feel useful.
I am trying to boost self-esteem and as I do little things for myself, I find I can use my judgement of character better. Instead of helping everyone, I help myself and still feeling guilty. This is something to get over. Once we do for ourselves we have enough inside to do for others in a healthy way.. and it will be reciprocal. How is it that so many MTs are such givers? The old saying "if I would have known then what I know now..." etc.
Thanks for all the good information, this is what I have decided
Next year I start drawing over $500.00 per month on a retirement fund (from the hospital that outsourced us). I still wanted to keep working. My thing was I knew before full retirement that SS took away part of the money you make and after full retirement age you can make any and all without them taking away. I want to work after full, draw the retirement starting in 04/2008 and then wait until the full retirement (03/2009) and then I will have the full money. I do not want to quit working, just wanted to see what everyone thought about taking a % off if you took SS before your regular retirement age.he Thanks everyone for all the info.
I would never say it was a good thing...
but I can't believe how much attention this whole thing is getting. The poor woman's life was a train wreck, which, unfortunately, is what made her famous. But at least this has overshadowed the whole astronaut in a diaper story.
not, it's not a bit much; it's a good thing...
nm
Good - that's the right thing.
These guys need to be reported before they potentially hurt someone else. At least mall security will be on the lookout for them. You may have well saved someone else's life, too. I think that was God's plan for you. The angels he sent into your life are the ones you will help save.
God bless you for doing the right thing.
good thing u were there!
Thats awesome that you saved him! good thing you were right there, its like instinct kicked in.
good thing u were there!
Thats awesome that you saved him! good thing you were right there, its like instinct kicked in.
It is good news......but the only thing is
from what I have heard he is still getting paid (or already has been paid) for doing the book. I only hope that the families can collect what they won in the civil suits from what he is being paid.
Good points, and that is the thing. It is not
a fix-all. Without making lifestyle changes, everyone will regain their weight back. My step-mom had the surgery and is over the 100-pound mark for the weight she has lost. She has cut out all breads from her diet, desserts, etc. She has made huge diet changes since, and that is why she is losing the weight and keeping it off. She also consumes a lot of protein. She has done fantastic with it though. My friend's sister had it and is having a lot of complications, but she has not followed the recommendations for after surgery either. Her son had it and has done great and is keeping the weight off.
Good. and weight is not the only thing--sm
that causes the conditions mentioned. I have a big kitty too, and he really does not eat that much, but a mixture of one small 4 oz can of wet and perhaps about 1/2 c of dry per day. he is just a big cat, weighing 14 pounds at last visit. He is very timid and does not do much for play or exercise. Sometimes kitties are just big, like humans, and it is not always diet that makes them that way. I, too, would be very apprehensive in changing pet food right now. I love my kitties too and so far, am thankful that their food has not been one that has been recalled. Changing vets is easier than changing doctors, but if you are not happy, then move on. Personally, if one tried to give an attitude of forcefulness with me, vet or doctor, I would be gone in a heart beat. You may find a much nicer one down the road. Give your kitty a pet and mommy knows best. lol.
good one. I was thinking the same thing! sm
I would either put up with it or try exercise before I would resort to any type of surgical procedure for vanity sake. I have seen on TV programs concerning this, just how the doctors treat their patients when they are under anesthesia. NO THANKS!
Employers ought to know a good thing when they have one
I have poured over Craigslist today and the spelling is something else. I had several days to go through as I have been on holiday. What is happening with the English now? This is what I found: Bambu table, bronz bed, bump beds (can you believe that?), sley bed, camping cott, talbe (that was spelled 4 times that way in the description), marlbe table, Asain (that, too, was spelled that way several times in the description), bed ajusts to queen, mohogoney desk, matress and I think this was the best yet - sowing machine (sewing). Unbelievable but these were actual spellings. Bless their hearts!
Well then I guess it is a good thing that ...sm
close minded people like you don't run our country then. Go do some research before you make comments. A pit bull is a dog like any other. They are steretyped as being vicious because some people fight them. I do not agree with fighting any breed of dog including pit bulls. Those fighting pits are TRAINED to do that. They are not born that way. Some won't even fight after being trained to. I used to have a Yorkie that was a little fellow but he was 10 times meaner than my pit. Actually I will tell you how nice the pit was. With his size he could have easily killed the yorkie. Well the yorkie was constantly growling and biting the pit and one day just reached up and bit him square on the balls. The pit turned around and just looked at him. He could have torn the little fellow apart but he didn't. Now would a unstable mean dog be that calm? You need to rethink your comments. You are way off the mark.
Good luck to you. I think you are doing the right thing. NM
x
Nope, but probably would be a good thing!
Just kidding but I love my dentist- he is so funny he makes me laugh all the time while I am having a root canal done! I love his office help also. I only wish I could find a PCP that I really enjoyed as much then all would be good in my world. I do not dread going to the dentist like I once did. He is a trip!!
Started being alone at an early age, good thing now with this job but
probably my favorite thing was going over to a small creek to catch frogs, tadpoles (tried to grow those to make frogs), caught salamanders, found dead snake and put it in alcohol in a jar, caught beetles and gave them as a present for my mother (she came in from work to discover all her lipsticks out on the counter and when she opened her little box, there was my present). She like to have killed me on that one! I loved to catch June bugs and fly them around. I have wonderful, wonderful memories of these things and sorta found lots to do just with me and me alone- good thing I did now with the work I do, right? I could still hibernate in my home for a week and not be bothered at all- love my own company.
Definitely not a good thing to use that tape, in my opinion. But! sm
You can do a lot of other fun things! I hung a few witches, a scarecrow, a black cat, pumpkins on the brick outside and will go and get hay, etc. in a few days to decorate with.
Green in the wallet is a good thing
I don't like the color green at all so I have no green clothes whatsoever.
I know one thing - a BLUE screen is NOT good
nm
Hanging out at your house is a good thing
as long as you are there. My house became the hang out house, and it was hard, especially when I was trying to get my work done. But I knew where they were and could step in and keep things under control when necessary. I don't have any daughters, and from what I can tell, it seems that I got the easier job in raising boys rather than girls. I had a "rule of 16" which meant my sons could not date until they were 16 years old. Boys don't really seem to fight this so much. My oldest didn't have a steady girlfriend until he was 18. My youngest was 17 when he first started dating. I also had problems with some of their friends being just plain rude. They'd swear, never say please or thank you, and just generally act like snotty brats at times. That wasn't a problem for me. I corrected them and taught them manners. I used humor, which again boys seem to respond to. Usually, when we had girls over who acted that way, the boys were quick to correct them, and I didn't have to step in myself.
As far as going out, my boys did go out to hang at the local pizza parlor in mixed groups when they were 13. I never had a problem, but they were held to time limits.
I think it's nice that the boys are having lunch at your house with your daughter. It costs a little more to feed your daughter's friends, but you have them there in the house. Be friendly and relaxed, but insist on polite behavior in your home. Surprisingly, most kids will actually gravitate to the house with that sort of atmosphere. Your daughter may give you some grief about not being allowed to do what everyone else is doing, but that's ok. Your job isn't to have her agree with all of your decisions. Your job is to do what is best for her. I think having the boys over while you are at home was a very good compromise. If it happens again, you can always say, "You know, I'm pretty hungry, too. How 'bout I have some pizza delivered. I can order extra and you can invite some other friends over, too." Good luck!
You make it sound like it's a good thing --
Are you just being sarcastic? I hope so. I love kids, but seriously, this country can't afford to have women having more children than they can afford. Look at the mess we're in now with welfare, not to mention the abuse and neglect these children suffer. I live in a very rural, low income area. I have seen so many children whose parents don't care for them, yet they continue to "pop out" more babies to get more welfare benefits.
If this becomes a new trend, the govt will end up removing the welfare caps in order to support these children. I know it's not the children's fault, but it isn't my fault either. I'm tired of paying for the welfare system as it is.
Oh, good one! I despise that store! And the funny thing is..
most kids around here who want to be noticed, or whose parents have a ton of money or who are just plain brats ALL wear A&F. My kids could really care less. Talk about the store that caters to cliques and that is IT. But it caters to them in such a bad way......PS: Good for your friends and your daughter!
Also, I wish people, parents especially, that you don't have to wear a particular brand name to be noticed or to be cool. That is just so ridiculous to me! Why do people do it? Now, I will buy clothes from expensive stores IF the quality is what I am looking for, so I'm no K-Mart mom by all means, but I think these days parents are taking this "look at the brand-name-my-kids-are-wearing" way too far!
Tough love can be a good thing - I agree w/you
You did the right thing. He needs to learn otherwise you are going to have a yo-yo on your hands.
I wish I had stuck to my guns the first time my son did that. It took me a few years to learn. Moving away from home is NOT something small. It is a BIG thing and you son needs to realize that. I WISH I had listened to someone besides my mothers advice and maybe my son would be better off.
IMHO--- People should get real - You took YOUR key back You did NOT kick him out you were giving him what he wanted. You did NOT put him out into the streets.
Stick to your guns mom and I think that one day he will be a better man for it.
Repeat after me ... Crate training is a GOOD thing!
Invest in a good crate and use it.
The crate will cost you less than the destruction in the long run. It takes a while for the dogs to get use to it but once they are they are much happier for it.
My Rotts each have their own crates and when we have company or if they just want their own space they will go to their crate and chew on their KONG or a pigear.
Whenever I am going to be gone for any length of time I put up my Rotts and when people come to visit and ESPECIALLY when I have other folks children in my house. Mine dont see it as punishment at all and have gotten to where at night they sleep in their crates with the doors open. Although I do have to say they prefer to have Animal planet showing on their TV in their room when I am gone for any length of time.
Good Luck!!!
Thanks. I figure the one good thing is that their lab is inhouse so won't have to wait
for another company bogged down with labs from 10 other facilities.
ok sk8girl, the window is wonderful and a really good thing
for your eyes. If you focus near and then you can focus out a window, you will save your eyes and type for about 20 more years than you would without a window. I lost my window and my eyes followed close behind. I love that you all have the same stacks of books I do, same bowl of almost food, required coffee mug and the fact that it looks like we all spend our lives right in that chair. ha ha.
ROFL, that was good, Robin, I was thinking the same thing but.....sm
you have articulated it so much more colorfully than I ever could,what a hoot, even though it is such a sickening story. Man, did this woman EVER have any self-respect, self-esteem, to say nothing of self-discipline and brains? Total sociopath, puts the "ICK!" in SICK!!
I sort of understand the question, but is it supposed to be a *good* thing????
Cause middle class sucks, these days. lol
I'm not working either; it's a good thing, since my thumb feels like it will soon fall off - n
:)
Wanted to but we decided on sm
The Phantom (have front row seats), Blue Man, and Etta James is going to be there on Friday and my friend HAS to see her. We're only there 4 nights and the first one we get there at 9:30, so we just didn't have enough time. Next time!
Having known the risks up front, I decided
myself never to have a child after 30 even. I had my first at 21 and then my daughter was born when I was 29. I just had always heard the risks and did not want to take them myself. Everyone can do what they want but the older here is not always the better.
I am so glad you decided not to go with Biospot
Funny I did not realize I had emailed you, but couldn't figure out where my post went, thanks for letting me know you got the information. This was several years ago with my cat and she is fine now. Thanks for asking. All for the animals.
guess they decided to leave it up to everyone's
It stopped when parents decided to....
be friends with Susie and Tommy rather than parents. They want their kids to like them, don't want to hurt the poor little ones feelings or harm their self-esteem. Instead of rules they compromise, instead of depriving them of certain things these parents lavish them with every material thing they can for fear of being called a bad mom or dad. It's easier to buy the kid stuff and let them do what they want rather than buck up and be a parent. You all know who you are out there. I have to laugh when I see the 12-year-old who is dressed like a 22-year-old who is at the mall with her 35-year-old mother who is dressed like a 12-year-old. I also think the role models in the home have a lot to do with it too. Mom and dad probably don't respect each other, argue, use foul language, what is a kid to do but think that's the way relationships work. Many parents today are raising the furture princess whiny-give me-buy me and prince disrepectful-treat women like crap-selfish adults of tomorrow. We are doomed!
That was for Bush's plan, which they decided against
The Tax Stimulus plan that has tentatively been decided on is 600 per person that earned at least 3000 in 2007 and then an additional 600 per child in the family. Married couples couldn't have made more than 150,000 either.
We have decided to seek professional help.
My husband and I talked and decided that for all our sakes and to try and do things right, we are seeking professional help to guide us through this.
I feel somewhat more relieved with that in mind.
I hope all this works out for the best.
Thanks everyone
We've decided to use these approaches
first. H is going to call around to see who has stove insulation. I will scrub it down with baking soda like someone else suggested. I have also read on the internet to sprinkle the new insulation Cayenne peper. They said the house had a fragrance for a while, but they never had to deal iwth rat pee anymore. If anything, I don't see why we cannot at least use the top part. I may just get rid of my cake mixes and cookie mixes. I guess I can either give them to my mom or give them to the food bank. We do have a George Foreman MIL gave us for Christmas. I have hardly used it because it was hard to clean. I considered selling it.
Right now, I just don't think we can afford it without using credit. We owe too much already. It is so bad that I have been looking around to see what I can sell. Not to buy a new stove but to pay some of this stuff down. We have Christmas to do and next month we have property taxes, car tags.
I am so glad my younger man decided
to hook up with this lady. It has been more than what I could have ever expected. He was the first guy I ever dated younger, married and never realized such a man existed. Totally in love with him 10 years later.
My father one time decided this was the punishment for my son
Had him write 200 times I must not ...... My father laughed as he told me when my son got through he said, "Now paw-paw can I do it again?" What works for 1 does not necessarily work for another.
Thanks...I decided to make an appt tomorrow (sm)
wondering if I have some compression on my inferior vena cava when I lie down which is causing hypotension...not sure what is doing the compressing though - guess that's why I need a doctor, huh :-)
I've decided to purchase a bicycle and would
appreciate any advice, experience, do or dont's on buying one. One of the reasons I hate cycling is because of those small seats and my backside is fairly large (all the more reason to exercise). I need to start getting more exercise for health reasons or I'm headed in for serious problems.
TIA
The next time I decided to make real
mashed potatoes. Didn't know how many potatoes I needed for 2 people, so I peeled about 6 or 7 potatoes. Once again, too many taters! LOL!
Anyone else with gallbladder problems and decided not to have surgery
and symptoms you had and what did you do instead?
We were considering a rabbit in March but decided to go with guinea pigs instead (sm)
My daughter is 5 and really wanted a cat, but we just aren't "cat people." We have a big dog, and she loves him but wanted something cuddlier. We wanted something that she could help care for and play with. We get the "pigs" out of their cage every day (we have a an indoor fence/play yard that we put on a towel to catch the pee and poop) and let them run around. They have turned out to be a lot more fun than I thought they would. They really don't smell as long as you change the bedding in the cage every three to four days (might go longer if you only had one). From the things I've read and our experience, they are really gentle and tolerant (no one has gotten even an accidental bite since we got them in March, and we handle them ALL the time).
The negatives are that they are quite messy ( lots more vaccuming in the room where the cage is - again might not be as bad with only one - most of the bedding goes flying when they get to chasing each other around), and they can be noisy (especially at night when you're wanting to sleep).
They are terribly cute, and we love them but, like any animal, they are a lot of work. I don't regret it at all, but I can see where it wouldn't be for everyone.
School decided to make a new class/2/3rd graders
I get a message on my phone this weekend from principal saying my daughter was selected to be put in a 2/3 grade class. She is in 2nd grade. I think personally something else is up. Why such a great class being formed in January??? and why call on the weekend? She's not that upset about it, but we just moved to the area and this starts this morning. So now she had to meet new friends and now new friends again. Not sure how I should handle this. I'm upset, but at same time, might not be a bad thing. I do want to let them know I'm not pleased though.
Hysterectomy. Thank you everyone for your thoughts and opinions. I have decided to go ahead with t
After obtaining the opinions of different physicians, the concensus is that my safest bet to avoid developing cancer given my borderline ovarian tumor is to proceed with a total hysterectomy. After pondering and fretting, although I am not thrilled with having a hysterectomy at age 42, I also don't want to be faced with developing cancer in the future, as they tell me I have a 20% probability of developing problems in the other ovary with my history. So full speed ahead....hysterectomy it is. If anyone of you has had a complete hysterectomy, I would love to hear from you regarding how you fared after the whole thing, if you required hormones, felt good, felt bad, etc. Thanks in advance.
I decided to grow tomatoes for my 10 year old who loves them! sm
I planted 2 plants and they grew up so tall - totally pesticide free with no bugs on them all year! We had so many that I would give them to a neighbor. One batch was picked up by a woman who drove 30 miles for our tomatoes! I don't like them.....They were no big deal planting - just put them in the ground and watered every day.
My family decided last year to just enjoy the holidays
We're all adults, no children, and live in small homes or apartments. I NEED tons of stuff, but have no place to put much of anything, and can't afford to reciprocate with a gift. Same with a couple other siblings. My mom's been impossible to buy gifts for, for probably the last 10 years. I was the first to bow out the year before last. I started the ball rolling because I just plain couldn't afford it anymore, and was too busy working all the time to spend hours on end in a department store. I had a new job, no PTO, and NO money, so I alerted everyone that I wasn't going to play the game that year. Turns out it was a relief to all! And last year, without all the holiday 'getting mauled at the mall' disasters, each of us had quiet, happy, stress-free holidays. So now that we've eliminated the gift-giving aspect of Christmas, I finally can look forward to the season and enjoy it again.
The day I felt repulsed by my husband's advances was the day I decided to leave.
dd
I've decided to start a cookie business! Anyone up for helping me out with a name?
I know with the economy and all, it's probably not a good time to open a new business, but I've been thinking about this for years and just want to do it anyway and very happy and excited about it!
So, some words I've been playing around with are yummy, goodies, goodness, sweets, comfort, cookies ... but nothing is really grabbing me. I've even tried to think of ideas without those type of words above, such as "Big D's" or whatever.
If anyone has any good ideas, I'd love to hear them!
My children watch it to see the babies...I watched it one time and decided (sm)
I could not stand the condescending way Kate talked to and about Jon. She was so insulting and demanding of him, I can't see why anyone would want to live like that. I feel sorry for the children, but they have not been allowed to have a normal life anyway, and they should not be raised to see their dad take abuse from their mom, so good for him for standing up for himself.
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