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Dear Responsible

Posted By: Jan on 2009-01-29
In Reply to: These people just let the pit run around ...sm - Responsible pit bull owner

I think responsible and owner of pitbull somehow just does not go together.


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Dear Ms Thinks she is responsible
Truely funny how pitbull owners go on the defensive with what other dogs do. I am sure animal control knows how to be around and handle but even these people are attacked by these dogs. I rescue animals (not these as I want no responsibility for their acting out)but where I rescue these dogs are not adopted out, just put down. Even the people who are in the "know" so to speak do not want to be responsible.
dear husband, dear daughter, etc...
xx
Yes, but if only 1 kid responsible, do you really think
the whole school would be given notice of being punished? Think about it. I am sure and anyone who does this type of work knows there are products out there to help a gaseous distention. My goodness. My DIA parapro here in Georgia and she tells me when her classroom children do things like this and she tells them to say excuse me - they tell her their parents don't mind. You all need to research this a little and I am sure you would be surprised as to whether medically related or attention getting actions.
You are not responsible for others
especially in an age group like this, just as you are not responsible for your parents. When you are grown, responsible for your own actions. Saying this did not have to happen- your life is written before you are born and no matter, that is already decided. This is the way it was supposed to be or never would have happened. I am not saying this is horrible situation but just the way these lives were supposed to start and if not this way, another way but I believe things are going to happen like your whole life is already planned out. Make plans but does not matter.
There are a lot of responsible and
a lot of irresponsible 15 year olds out there. In our state you can't get a license until you are at least16 and 3 months and then after driver's ed and behind the wheel. At 15 my son was definitely responsible enough. My daughter will be 15 in January and I don't know if I would say the same about her. You are the parent and you know your child and what they can and can't handle.
You are not responsible if he won't help himself (sm)
Tell him you think he needs to go to be observed a little while at the mental ward at the hospital. If he will not work and will not go get welfare, that is his problem, not yours. He should not expect you to take care of him if he won't even apply for welfare - anyone can fill out the paperwork for that, good grief. I think I would have to tell him off really well...or seriously tell him that since he won't do anything at all to take care of himself, he needs to go to a nursing home or mental hospital. Tell him you will have him committed.
be responsible and fix your cat.
nm
No matter how responsible you are
and how much time you spend with them, you cannot be there 24-7 to supervise them. That is completely unrealistic. Can we take them to the doctor, to the store, to the kids' school? Come on now.

There is a responsible way to crate an animal. No matter how much you train them, my labs still would have eaten anything in site for a certain period of time. There is no way I would leave them unattended to run my errands and chance them getting into something that could harm them. Regardless of the material objects as you call them, they could get hurt.

Also, a child does need a crib and a playpen. To say that those are used so that you do not have to supervise your kids is ridiculous. Everyone has to go to the restroom at some point. Should we carry them everywhere or perhaps let them run around so they can get into something that would harm them until we finish our business? Wow....

I believe a pediatrician would even tell you that those are necessary in raising a healthy child, and I am not talking about someone who puts their kids in a playpen all day instead of spending time with them either.
No, he is an adult and responsible for himself.
nm
Too bad some responsible adult...
could not get those kids. We have a celebutard, immature, crazy mother against a wanna be anything hanger on who is only interested in money...some role models! I hope there is money put away for the therapy those kids will need. The parents even give white trash a bad name!
sounds like you have a very responsible son!
that's awesome. He hasn't pushed the issue so I may just wait until he asks again. i also need to check the policy at school regarding boys wearing earrings.
no, it is not all a matter of responsible
ownership. There have been very loving responsible owners themselves attacked by their own dogs. A popular dog breed can be overbred indiscriminately and ruined. Unfortuntately this breed is too unpredictable. I've always been around animals, large and small and have both now. I would never have a pit bull. I visit my friend less often now who now has one, and won't get out of the car if it is loose. Not to mention that these dogs don't just bite, which would be bad enough, they instinctively go for the kill. I haven't read the link you provided yet, but do NOT believe that breed-specific legislation is stupid. This particular bill may be over the top, but breed-specific laws are brought on by a need, and wouldn't get off the ground without plenty of facts on record to support it.
A responsible owner would never allow...sm
Their pitbull to wander around public. That is why we have attacks. Owners should be responsible and keep them as well as any dog in a fenced in yard. Or if out in public on a leash. Mine will never be wandering around in public on its own. That is totally irresponsible. If I saw a pitbull out in public I would be cautious myself.
The owners who are not responsible are ...sm
the problem. I would be mad too if I went out and was approached by a pit bull who growled at me, and I own a pitbull. He should be kept in his owners yard or home. No dog, pit or otherwise, should be allowed to roam around the neighborhood.
I fully understand you being furious. I would be too.

You are not responsible for any loonies out there
By having feedback like I got from this site, gave me an understanding of how to approach this sorta awkward situation. You just have people out there that seem to thrive on what they perceive to be right and what is the actual truth.
Yes. Make your teenager responsible for as much as she can pay for.
and maybe a little more. Don't make it easy. Make sure that she has to work a little (not so much that grades suffers), has to budget, and plan and take the responsibility of driving seriously. This is more than likely the most dangerous thing your child has done so far her life. Make sure she understands that. It's not a social thing, a drive-around-with-your-friends thing. Preparing a young person for driving responsibilities is life and death.
Unfortunately, in the last three yeas, I've been to three funerals for teenage drivers -- all of whom were out of control in every aspect of their lives. Our state does not allow children to become licensed drivers until age 16-1/2. Our house rule was age 17. We did pay for the driver's ed, because it was pricey, our sons truly could not afford it, and we wanted our boys to have ever chance to learn to drive safely. Even though we taught them ourselves, as well, sometimes kids hear better what total strangers say to them! Also, I had a rule during permit driving sessions with my boys. They were never allowed to argue with me while we drove together. I was the teacher. I knew more than them. No arguing over anything, or else I terminated the lesson, car was pulled over, I drove home and that was the end until I felt we were ready for another driving lesson. That rule drove home how serious a responsibility driving is. I only had to do it once to one of my sons.
My oldest was lucky enough to inherit is grandfather's pristine 1991 Toyota (38,000 original miles) when pop-pop no longer could drive. It's a decent, dependable car. My son pays for repairs and gas. We pay for the insurance at this point, simply because we live in a big eastern city, and insurance is sky high. But, our son is also paying his own college tuition, so I have no problem helping him out with the insurance on his car.
This is a big deal. Make sure your daughter grasps the gravity of the responsibility. Don't argue with her about anything. These decisions have to be made by the parents, because it's a health and safety issue for your daughter and everyone else on the road with her.
Make him responsible for the decision
If he wants to switch schools and give up the scholarship, tell him he has to get the funding to do it. I had to do the same thing with my daughter. She gave up a good scholarship at a great private school for pharmacy because she wanted to come back closer to home to be around her boyfriend. She ended up having to take out the loans to pay for it.

There is nothing written in stone that says we have to pay for our children's educations. It is nice if you can help as a parent, but I think kids learn much more if they have some of their own resources invested.
YOU are not responsible for his debts, HIS ESTATE is....
You should read the posts better.

Was your brother your stepbrother and your mother your stepmother?

Therefore you did not care to help in locating your stepnephew/niece, so that they can get their shares?
No, you can not be held responsible for their bill -
nm
You shouldn't feel responsible....

As mean as it sounds, you have put up with it and YOU have decided for yourself that enough is enough and if you tell him so and IF he bounces back to alcoholism, then basically he is a grown man and that is HIS choice, you cannot let it affect you or make you feel responsible.


My sister-in-law is in the same boat as far as her husband being an alcoholic.  It has put so much stress on her and their children and it has been going on about 15 years.  He won't seek help though and she won't leave him.  She just says that she is hoping one day he wakes up and sees what a good wife she is.  I feel bad for her that she has wasted so much time on someone like that.


You are only responsible for changing your behavior, not someone elses
I am the product of a divorce years and years ago and thank goodness my mother had enough sense to not stay with my father. He was actually caught running around on her with other women. I knew my father growing up, spent time with he and my stepmom, loved her but I missed absolutely nothing by not having him in my house every day. You are responsible for your own self-. The advice you are giving is like saying a man messes around on a woman, drinks too much and maybe after the marriage he will change. You can only make yourself happy, no one else can do that for you. I have never had a time when I could not stand my husband, never and I would believe he probably feels the same. We laugh when others say they have to work at marriage- we just do not get this. Like I said, product of divorce, happily married myself, never missed my father, saw him but never, ever close in my life. By the way, I am one of the older and wiser group also.
Because you breed out of wedlock then that makes you a responsible person?
Sorry, not where I come from. I am so glad I did not bring home (well years ago it just WAS NOT done) children. If a female got pregnant, sent away to an unwed mother home, most of the time the child given up for adoption. When I was growing up you did not pop out babies right and left without a husband. I have had more than my share of responsibility, been able to stand on my own 2 feet and provide really well for my family. I made the right decision for me and do not regret and have never looked back on my decisions.
I completely believe Howard Stern is responsible for both Daniel
much for it just to be overdoses in two cases.  I don't buy it.
I see where you are coming from because I would be nagged by guilt and feeling responsible
for the problem.  I have those tendencies too.  No way should you cash your IRA for a car. 
O talks about our government being fiscally responsible and his wife is wearing $500 designer shoes.
It's not "her money to spend as she pleases."  It's my money, your money, his money, her money.  O better put up or shut up and that means his family too.  No more big talk about the deficit, fiscal responsbility, and redistribution of wealth when when his wife is walking around in designer duds.  Am I the only person that sees hypocrisy in that?
Oh dear, that should be the end of our lot sm
not "and the ned of our lot". Been a loooong weekend and it's not over yet. LOL. Anyway, thanks for all the helpful advice.
I am not your dear.
If you ever see your kids or grandkids hungry, bet you change your mind real fast.
The first D is Dear...nm

 


Dear God yes!
That is my favorite comfort food!

I demand you buy some this weekend and eat it!

LOL

But seriously, it's awesome. You should try it!
Dear Dog
Go brush your own hair. I have to brush mine.

Love,

Mom

Dear DH
You no longer travel 6 weeks at a time, with a week in between travels. Learn to pick up your flipping dirty laundry or I will shove it up your, uh, in your ear.

Love, your wife
Dear Son
You have a rogue sock in your room that I cannot find, but the odor is lofting out into the hall. Please do your best to find it.
Love,
Mom
Dear IRS:
You suck.
Dear Everyone -
Yes, I am crabby - I have both PMS and perimenopause. When I tell you to "stop bugging me", I mean it.

Leave me alone since I gave you fair warning - Or Else suffer the consequences.

Signed - Really, REALLY IRRITABLE.
Dear Mom

Please stop calling me 2 and 3 times when I don't answer the phone.  Please stop immediately calling my cell phone when you don't get me at home.  I'm 34 years old.  I work, I'm married, and I have 3 kids, so I might be kind of busy some days.  When I do answer, please don't scream at me -- "Where have you been?  I've been calling you for an hour!"  I might be working or I might be at the school or I might be working out -- anyway you look at it, I'm 34 years old and have a right to make my own decisions.


When you do talk to me, please don't lay the guilt trip on me because "no one will help you hang your wallpaper."  Did you ask my brother, who lives 2 hours away to help?  Did you ask my sister who lives 2 hours away to help?  Did you ask my other brother who lives an hour away but comes home every weekend to hang out with his friends to help?  Probably not.  You called me because I'm only 5 minutes away and you know I "don't really work".  Perhaps I would be willing to help with you these things if you'd call ahead and ask me when I'm available, instead of waiting till you get up one day and just feel like getting the wallpaper hung. 


BTW, why can't you just hire someone to hang it?  That's what I did this summer when I needed a babysitter and you weren't available. 


Dear God, ,,,,,sm
PLEASE bless this country and keep us all safe from evil. And please bless all lawmakers, from the Prez on downward, with WISDOM and strenth to lead us out of our current problems (because YOU are beyond all problems and adversity), and please bring all AMERICANS together, help us forget our divions/past ideologies, and work hard together, making wise sacrifices and helping each other as brother and sister. Amen
Dear Sue
As a customer who had $10K in fraudulent charges added to her credit card when her identity was stolen, ahem - I don't care if it is illegal or not, I'M GRATEFUL that anyone wants to verify my identity!!
Dear Mom
Thanks.  I needed that reminder.  I'm glad you let me take it out on you instead of my real mom. 
Dear Mom

Yes I know you care.  I know you spent your life raising me and my siblings.  I realize you may be lonely, but part of that is your own fault.  I would call more often if you were more pleasant to talk to instead of always complaining about someone or something that didn't go your way.  I would enjoy spending more time with you if you made it pleasant, instead of complaining to the waitress that the coffee tastes bad and that they put too much mayo on your sandwich and that you don't like the restaurant because they don't let you seat yourself.  When I ask you to pick, you always say it doesn't matter when obviously it does. 


You're married.  You should ask Dad to help you hang the wallpaper.  He doesn't like spending time with you either because you constantly pick fights.  Anything that goes wrong is always his fault.  Why can't you just laugh it off once in a while?  Have you forgotten how to have fun?  Where is that woman I used to know when I was a teenager?  We had such good times together then and laughed more than ever.  What has happened to make you so bitter?  I've tried to talk to you about it, but you just won't listen to reason.  You always say it was someone else's fault.  When do you accept the blame? 


Dear Sis:

The next time you come over to my house and something comes up missing we are going to have a serious problem on our hands.  I am really tired of seeing your daughters wearing my kids missing clothing and when asked you say you bought them.  NOT TRUE.  I cannot believe that you would steal something like an apple corer or my neat little pill cutter that I bought.  I cannot believe that you have stolen so much from me that your children are starting to do it now too.  Your daughter stole my daughter's stuffed whale and you KNOW THIS yet stick up for her when questioned.  AMAZING.  I mean what.... doesn't welfare give you enough help?  Also, I am tired of you calling me during my well-known work hours just to talk about absolutely nothing so that I can listen to you yell and scream at your kids and your husband.  And when I say I have to go, I am working, you say that really sucks to have to work.  Yeah, it kinda does.... but I dont want to have to resort to stealing instead.  My suggestion to you would be to GET A JOB and BUY YOUR OWN THINGS. 


Thanks, Big Sis


Dear Mom:
Typical to play the guilt card inferring you will be dead soon. I remember grandpa doing that and you did not call him more because of it (or see him more). I truly hope I do not do the same thing to my own children. There are many things that you do that I try to live by as an example of what NOT to do so I can have a healthy and happy life. You playing the guilt card just makes me resent what you do (or try to do) even more. You have to remember I have a life to and it is my turn to live it, warts and all.
Dear Mom...

Dear Mom:


Thank you for being a wonderful, loving, kind, and caring mother and grandmother.


Thank you for respecting the fact that I do work at home and have a husband and 3 children.


Thank you for, on the occasions you must call during my work hours, making it short and sweet, getting down to business, and letting me go so I can get back to work!


I love our hour-long phone conversations when I'm not busy and Dad's in the garage working. I love having lunch with you on Fridays when I can. I love walking around the mall with you and window shopping...cause we're both too broke to buy anything!


You are my best friend and I cherish every moment we spend together, not only as mother and daughter, but as friends.


With much love,


Your daughter


Dear Mom
I wish you were here. I miss you. I miss talking with you. I hate that you are not here to see your grandchildren becoming adults that you would be so proud of. I am sorry we never made Christmas candy together, mine just never turns out right. I am glad that I told you in our very last conversation that "I love you" but I really wish you were here to hear me say it again.
Dear DH...

Thank you for being so "terrible" that your ex decided she had enough of you and tossed you to the side. Wow, you are terrible; same job for 25 years, respectable, handsome, has a good relationship with his family, honest, moral, respects my work in and around the house, you were not a deadbeat dad, you always compliment me, you make me laugh daily, you know the freedom of living debt free and saving for the future, you take me on the best vacations and most importantly, you love me for who I am, flaws and all.


Oh, and to the ex...you blew it honey...no wonder you called a couple of years ago and tried to get him back; it didn't work. Thanks, things have only gotten better!


A grateful wife


Dear Dad...sm
Please get a life for yourself. You have been divorced now for over 6 months. Probably closer to 9 months. I know you are sorry you messed up and cheated repeatedly on mom but there is nothing I can do about it. I do get tired of listening to you whine about her not forgiving you. I mean, really, she only forgave you 3 times and gave you another chance to which you were caught doing the same thing. Go be with your girlfriend and be happy. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

Also please learn to be a man and take care of yourself. My mom is not going to take care of you anymore. You have to stand on your own 2 feet now. No, I can't give you gas money or money to eat because I work and have to buy my own gas and food.

Please accept the fact that mom is not going to take you back and quit calling literally ALL day long and all night. Quit coming to her house and banging on the windows and doors and threatening her. No wonder she called the sheriff.

Please quit threatening to kill yourself. You have been threatening this for almost a year now. We both know you are not going to kill yourself you just want attention. Please don't tell me you are going to shoot at the police so they will kill you. That is insane.

Please quit calling me every night to ask if I have seen or talked to mom that day and what was she doing. What time did she come home from work? Did she go anywhere? Was anybody over at her house? Etc. I am tired of being asked 50 questions.

Please learn to buy food for your apartment and eat there. I am tired of you calling me and asking me what I am cooking and can you come eat all the time.

In short, get a life, learn to stand on your own 2 feet, accept the fact mom and you are over, quit threatening to kill yourself, quit calling me to ask 50 questions about mom, and eat at your own house.
Oh, dear.
What can I say that the others have not already said? My heart breaks for you, and I will keep you in my prayers.

My best friend is a disabled veteran, and every day she struggles with feelings of guilt that she is somehow "mooching" off of society because she is not able to hold down a job.

I wonder if she feels that way in part because there are so many people abusing the safety net. That safety net is there for people like you and her.

I do hope you will be able to get out of that toxic living situation as quickly as possible, and then see what you can do about building some kind of life for yourself, in which YOU make all the choices. And please come back and let us know how you are doing!
Dear Santa....

Dear Santa,


I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.


Here are my Christmas wishes:


I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.


I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.


If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.


On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.


I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.


If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning , or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.


If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.


Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.


Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold.


Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.


Yours Always, MOM...!


P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my reques ts if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.


AMEN to that


Dear Santa:
Dear Santa:

I rarely ask for much. This year is no exception. I don't need diamond earrings, handy slicer-dicers or comfy slippers. I only want one little thing, and I want it deeply.

I want to slap Martha Stewart. Now, hear me out, Santa. I won't scar her or draw blood or anything. Just one good smack, right across her smug little cheek. I get all cozy inside just thinking about it. Don't grant this wish just for me, do it for thousands of women across the country. Through sheer vicarious satisfaction, you'll be giving a gift to us all. Those of us leading average, garden variety lives aren't concerned with gracious living. We feel pretty good about ourselves if our paper plates match when we stack them on the counter, buffet-style for dinner. We're tired of Martha showing us how to make centerpieces from hollyhock dipped in 18-carat gold. We're plumb out of liquid gold. Unless it's of the furniture polish variety. We can't whip up Martha's creamy holiday sauce, spiced with turmeric. Most of us can't even say turmeric, let alone figure out what to do with it.

OK, Santa, maybe you think I'm being a little harsh. But I'll bet with all the holiday rush you didn't catch that interview with Martha in last week's USA Weekend. I'm surprised there was enough room on the page for her ego. We discovered that not only does Martha avoid take-out pizza (she's only ordered it once), she refuses to eat it cold (No cold pizza? Is Martha Stewart living?) When it was pointed out that she could microwave it, she replied, "I don't have a microwave." The reporter, Jeffrey Zaslow, noted that she said this "in a tone that suggests you shouldn't either." Well, lah-dee-dah. Imagine that, Santa! That lovely microwave you brought me years ago, in which I've learned to make complicated dishes like popcorn and hot chocolate, has been declared undesirable by Queen Martha. What next? The coffee maker? In the article, we learned that Martha has 40 sets of dishes adorning an entire wall in her home. Forty sets. Can you spell "overkill"? And neatly put away, no less. If my dishes make it to the dishwasher that qualifies as "put away" in my house! Martha tells us she's already making homemade holiday gifts for friends. "Last year, I made amazing silk-lined scarves for everyone," she boasts. Not just scarves mind you. Amazing scarves. Martha's obviously not shy about giving herself a little pat on the back. In fact, she does so with such frequency that one has to wonder if her back is black and blue. She goes on to tell us that "homemaking is glamour for the 90s," and says her most glamorous friends are "interested in stain removal, how to iron a monogram, and how to fold a towel." I have one piece of advice, Martha: "Get new friends." Glamorous friends fly to Paris on a whim. They drift past the Greek Islands on yachts, sipping champagne from crystal goblets. They step out for the evening in shimmering satin gowns, whisked away by tuxedoed chauffeurs. They do not spend their days pondering the finer art of toilet bowl sanitation. Zaslow notes that Martha was named one of America's 25 most influential people by Time magazine (nosing out Mother Theresa, Madeline Allbright and Maya Angelou, no doubt). The proof of Martha's influence: after she bought white-fleshed peaches in the supermarket, Martha says, "People saw me buy them. In an instant, they were all gone." I hope Martha never decides to jump off a bridge. A guest in Martha's home told Zaslow how Martha gets up early to rollerblade with her dogs to pick fresh wild blackberries for breakfast. This confirms what I've suspected about Martha all along: She's obviously got too much time on her hands. Teaching the dogs to rollerblade. What a show off. If you think the dogs are spoiled, listen to how Martha treats her friends: She gave one friend all 272 books from the Knopf Everyman Library. It didn't cost much. Pocket change, really.

Yep, be careful, dear...
I had a similar experience with a dentist when I was in my mid-20's.  He wasn't that good-looking, I was married, and not therefore not tempted, but he did make personal, complimentary remarks when I went into the office for a check-up on a Saturday when his staff wasn't in.  My first impression (even back then as a naive and young 22-year-old) is that probably he just wanted to see how many of his female patients would "bite."  (No pun intended.)  But...if he is not married, and you're able to go into this with a skeptical eye, see where it may lead...expressing wanting to get to know you better is pretty flirty, to my thinking!
Frankly, my dear if you
only knew. I do not get into other's business, never. I could care less about much of anything unless I feel it impacts MY life and very few things do. I have children, don't tell them my thoughts, just believe in live and let live. I can only govern myself - I have absolutely no desire to tell my child, you or the next person what to do. I have more important things to do with my time. Only my immediate family and animals really matter to me anyway.
Dear Grossed out
Sorry it grossed you out - it was a beautiful experience for everyone in our family - when he went to school we explained to him that he would have to stop nursing because I would not be able to come to school to nurse him during his milk break - he had no problem with this - and within a week he was weaned. I guess the fact that I worked as a wet nurse grosses you out, as well. Unfortunately, you just don't know what you are missing or missed - or maybe you don't have children yet. It is your decision to make - not the states, the government, or certainly a stranger's. Good luck if you ever have kids and decide to BF. If so, email me anytime for information and encouragement.