Dating question-have things changed? (sm)
Posted By: startingover on 2007-05-28
In Reply to:
Hi - I am fairly recently divorced and have been dating a man for about 5 months. We get along very well and he is very kind to me, very complimentary, we have a great time together, he tells me he loves me...but one thing is odd to me and I am not sure if it is just his personality or if things are this much different from when I dated 15 years ago before my marriage. We communicate by phone, text and e-mail, but I almost always have to initiate the conversations. He always calls, texts or e-mails me back and is happy to hear from me, has long conversations with me and says wonderful things, and is happy to get together to see each other. But unless I wait 2 or 3 days to hear from him first (which is hard for me!) he never initiates the conversations. Have I just set it up this way and now it continues that way? Does he not really like me as much as he says? We talk almost every day, and when I have asked if I am contacting him too much he says, "No! I love hearing from you. I love looking on my phone and seeing a text from you! You're not calling too much at all." So why doesn't he ever take the initiative? I mean, he is kind of shy, but we've known each other 5 months now! I've never been an aggressive type, so I guess I'm confused. Thanks for any opinions!
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Things may have changed
when he was like 2. I will never do that again. They put a bunch of needles filled with different types of serum up both of his arms and all over his back. Then they had to be watched to see which one he reacted to the most. The allergist claimed he was allergic to every food out there and every tree and mold. So, I just laid off the milk and kept him inside on high pollen days. He would have been bubble boy. Thankfully, he's fine now other than an occasional sinus drainage problem, which I think the pollen or something or other must be high right now.
Unless things have changed
As far as I know, you have to have a converter box, if you don't have a HDTV TV. You can't use a DVD or VCR player for a converter. Maybe what they meant, is if you need a converter box, and don't have one, the only way you can watch your TV, is using a DVD or VCR player, playing the DVD discs, or VCR tapes.
I have bought 5 converter boxes, ending up taking two back. First one I got was a Magnovox, and I didnt' like it. My antennas wouldn't fit it.
I took it back and exchanged it for a RCA one. I couldn't get my money back, with the coupon, so, had to exchange it, and am stuck with the RCA one. It works OK. Not great.
Then I reviewed and found the TiVax was recommended. I got it. I liked it, till I got a DVT Pal today. It is better than any of them i have tried. I traded a Zenith for it, didnt' like the Zenith. My antennas wouldn't fit it, either. So I took the Zenith back, got the DVT Pal.
The Pal is the only one , so far, that I have gotten 4 stations. The others I have only gotten 2. With the ZEnith, I got none. I think I'll stay with the DVT Pal. I have one more coupon left.
Call again, things might have changed - nm
s
I'm not saying things haven't changed...
But I am saying that the people I know do NOT curse like stevedores. Which is why it baffles me when I watch a movie and everyone, men and women alike, are throwing around the F word.
I've heard good things and about things about taking prednisone. My mom was on it for SM
for awhile and it made her look so swollen. I sympathize with you.
Dating
I am married and have been for years, so I don't have much insight into dating anymore, but I would be leary of dating at work, just because if it does not work out, it could be uncomfortable, but other than that aspect of it, have fun and don't be shy. 
dating
What bothers me is that you say you recently came out of a long marriage/relationship. I speak from experience when I say it is NOT wise to jump right into something else - take time for yourself and your kids for awhile. JMO
She is dating him.....
not marrying him.
Online dating... Have you tried it?
I'm thinking about trying this. What are your experiences? Which ones are the best dating sites? Thanks!
Online dating
Yes, found my husband on Match.Com, dated two years and have been married for 1 1/2 years now. I was very lucky to have found a good honest man. We are in our sixties.
The dating game.
I hate it and that's why I continue to be single and loving it. Knowing the simplistic mind and approach of men to relationships, think of it this way (just to put it bluntly). They are like boys with new toys. If they play too much with the toy, sooner or later, they will set it aside and forget about it. As far as "games," yes dating is a game, a "cat and mouse" game. The cat enjoys inmensely chasing after the mouse. You have to "dangle the catnip" for the cat and let him work for it. If the mouse does the chasing, then it is not fun for the cat. Many men have the same thing in mind while dating "hit and run" (if you know what I mean), as in "why buy the cow, when you have tasted the milk." You have to let him do the chasing. When a woman goes too much after a man, he just sits in his all mighty throne knowing that he doesn't have to do anything, but wait for you to come to him to tell him how much you need him. If he really has any real true intentions, he will call you or write to you wondering what you have been up to. There is nothing worse for a man that not to know what a woman is thinking. 
When my hubby and I were dating we
went to a Halloween party and he spent the entire afternoon before the party dipping his hand in wax so it would have layer after layer of wax and look like a dead hand. Then he put on an oversized overcoat, wrapped his head in ACE bandage and wore sunglasses and a hat and really huge moon boots...(this was in the 80's mind you). Then when he got to the party he realized that he forgot to leave a hole open for his mouth so we had to cut one out so he could breathe, eat and talk. It was hilarious. No one knew who he was. It was funny....
Believe it or not a Dating Service
I was sick of meeting losers so I decided to take the chance. We were engaged after three months and married nine months later and will be married for 17 years in September. The first time he introduced me to his friends a week or so later, they told him we were going to get married.
Dating Service
I was tired of not being able to meet anyone. I actually got matched with a lot of great guys, but no one struck me as "the one" until I met my now husband. We talked for about 5 hours at the restaurant our first date and saw each other every day after that. We were engaged after a month and got married a year later. Now almost 18 years late we have to great daughters 15 and 5.
cougar dating
http://www.futurescopes.com/age-gap-dating/681/cougar-dating-tips-older-women-dating-younger-men
Met through a dating service
I was sick of not being able to find anyone decent. I say it was fate, because he said he hated answering machines so when he called me the first time, and I wasn't home, he could have said forget it, but he decided to give me one more call and I was home that time. If he gave up the first time I never would have met him. We dated for one month, got engaged and married a year later. It will be 18 years this September.
Dating's easier said that done
I miss dating. For me, there's a satisfaction or companionship that I get from a male partner that I don't get from work or family. Unfortunately, living where I do and working like I do, I'm not really coming across a lot of available ones. With my children's blessing, I've done internet dating, but the last couple of times have turned out very very badly. There aren't a lot of social venues where I am so I'm out of luck there. The one guy I dated told me that a single employed 'mature' woman, I was a bit of a commodity as there has been an exodus out of the rural areas, but that has not translated into my dance card being filled. Oh, well. I probably shouldn't let myself be distracted from work anyway. But, gosh, I miss a deep male voice asking me how I'm doing.
single-parent dating (sm)
I'm not sure that the length of time you have been dating is really relevant as other posters mentioned. If you feel you need to have the relationship defined, it should be and when it is, you need to decide what to do next.
It is SO hard to date when you have a child, especially a daughter that you want to raise with good morals and self esteem. In order to build a good relationship and be sure the guy likes your kid, you have to invest time and expose the child(ren) to him. If he's not *the one* then you have to repeat the process, thereby exposing you kids to men, attachments, and as far as I'm concerned, confusion on the part of the kids.
I came to this conclusion shortly after my ex and I split when my daughter was 5. I dated one guy, we broke up, and didn't date again until she was out of high school.
I also identified with a line in Jerry MacGuire; words to the effect that spending time with my kid was more fun and fulfilling than any frog or potential prince.
It's my opinion and only my opinion that we had our lives, made our decisions, had our fun, made our mistakes, brought kids into the world and they should be our focus. It's hard to focus and give full attention to a child when there is guy anxiety.
I know many have done it and have been extremely successful with merging families and doing the step-dad/mom thing. I just didn't think it was fair to gamble with my child's future... things don't always happen in real life like they do in movies...
All of this was probably of no help, but I sincerely think you do need to stop and think what is going to give you peace of mind, not necessarily happiness or instant gratification, and know that whatever does give you peace of mind will benefit your child.
Good luck, sweetie! :-)
Interracial dating views
Do you think most people still have a bad opinion of interracial dating and should that matter anyway?
I'm dating a man 18 years older. If you like him, go for it! :)
x
try specialty dating websites
I met my husband 4 years ago through an online dating site that catered to people of our religion. I think these specialty dating sites where you already have something in common have a higher success rate. You can find sites for pet lovers or cowboys... lots of different ones out there.
More info? Do you mean for a couple who is dating or?? (sm)
not sure what situation you mean?
dating someone with kids is hard
Bottom line is he SHOULD put her first, because if he didn't what kind of man would he be? My point to you is that although I understand COMPLETELY how you feel... it's just not always justified. I couldn't deal with my situation with kids so I left it. I respect him as a man for being a great dad, but having broken homes and split families is sometimes very difficult, as atested to the way the daughter acts towards you. You have to realize this is the way it's gonna be... deal with it or leave... (im not trying to say it is easy or anything... just facts you know?)
Interesting dating "survey"
Would you ever date/marry.....
someone who is less educated than yourself?
YES, DID SO, HE HAS A 2-YEAR TECHNICAL DEGREE, I HAVE A 4-YEAR BA that I NEVER DID ANYTHING WITH UNFORTUNATELY. ACTUALLY I ONLY EVER DATED 1 GUY I THINK WITH A COLLEGE DEGREE AND HE ENDED UP BEING A REAL WEINIE, DID THE CLASSIC DUMP OF JUST STOPPING CALLING AFTER 3 MONTHS OF DATING FOR WHICH I DID TAKE HIM TO TASK FOR, WHAT A JERK. I WAS 21 HE WAS 25 OR SO.
someone of a different race?
PROBABLY NOT.
someone whose parent's are divorced?
YES, WHY WOULD THAT MATTER?
someone who has bad credit or alot of bad debt?
NO.
who is overweight or obese?
NO.
someone who affliates or supports a different political party than yourself?
YES, AS LONG AS YOU AGREE TO DISAGREE DON'T SEE THAT AS AN ISSUE UNLESS YOU ACTUALLY WORK IN POLITICS.
someone who is rude to customer service staff?
NO, IF THEY ARE RUDE TO STAFF THEN HE/SHE WILL BE JUST AS RUDE TO YOU.
someone who talks a longtime on their cell phone when you are eating?
NO, WOULD NOT ESPECIALLY THRILL ME UNLESS IT IS SOMEONE THAT THEY HAVE NOT TALKED TO IN YEARS, IT WOULD HAVE TO BE THE EXCEPTION, NOT THE RULE.
someone who enjoys a different genre of music?
YES. CAN BE ENLIGHTENING LEARNING DIFFERENT MUSIC.
someone who does not enjoy the same leisure activities as yourself?
YES, BUT THEN AGAIN THEY WOULD NEED TO AT LEAST TRY IT, AND YOU TRY WHATEVER IT IS THEY LIKE TO DO, BE IT BOWLING OR BINGO.
someone who is a very picky eater or someone who is a vegeterian/vegan and you are not?
NO, THAT WOULD BE TO AGGRAVATING.
someone who prefers to spend leisure time alone or with friends (without you)?
NO, THAT IS JUST CHILDISH, HAVE TO BE ABLE TO BALANCE THE TWO, OR ADD YOU TO THE "GROUP". EVERYONE NEEDS A NIGHT AWAY NOW AND THEN BUT NOT ALL THE TIME. WHAT IS THE POINT IN BEING TOGETHER THEN?
I was dating one of his good friends...sm
dumped the friend for DH and never looked back. That was 24 years ago.
I may be dating myself but it was David Cassidy!
xxx
Single MTs - every just get sick of dating? sm
I have not been single that long - I am 41 and first and foremost a mom to my kids. I have been dating some though...and have found people to be so unreliable. Last week I told off two people for their unreliability and now my phone is oh-so-quiet. I can't decide if I want my phone to be quiet or if I want the aggravation. Right now I am voting for quiet. What is up with people these days that they just make flippant plans and then blow them off? It is my pet peeve to reserve my time for someone and have them cancel for some flip reason and then want to reschedule. We all have things that happen, but I get lunch plans cancelled because, "Oh, sorry, I overslept and didn't get ready in time - can we meet for dinner instead?" Does this happen to everyone or am I just not worthy of someone at least trying to keep their plans with me?
Dating? What's that? It's been so long I forgot.
Single, twice divorced, no kids, older than you (fifty-umph), and frankly, I'd rather be alone and gaze at my own navel than deal with the kind of stuff you talk about. Been there, done that, own the T-shirt franchise....
In my not-so-humble opinion, it's a function of society at large these days; has nothing whatsoever to do with you. My best friend and I have been observing for years that it's getting harder and harder to find people whose word is good. If their word is no good on the small stuff (lunch), then it's not going to be good on the bigger stuff. Trust me, you do NOT need THAT level of aggravation.
So see what you can do to learn to be your own best friend and company, and otherwise, cultivate the kind of people whose word is good. They may just introduce you to other people whose word is good.
And that's just my own take on the subject. Others' mileage may vary. :)
Dating? I'd rather have a root canal. -(nm)-
dating, marriage & dogs
rule #1
when you swear off men, you automatically will find the love of your life!
rule #2
marry a nerd - they are just as hot as a cowboys when the glasses come off, plus you get the added excitement of knowing your bills will be paid on time...
rule #3
there is no greater love than that of a dog who can't bear to be without you while you are in the potty. Life is short and we need all the joy we can get - Leave the bathroom door open for the little buggers!!!
AND RULE #4
get down on your knees every night and give the Lord thanks for your crazy, sweet life whether single, married, or stepping over dogs to get out of the powder room.
Even if you have not changed anything - sm
you can still develop an allergy. I was told years ago that your body chemistry changes every 7 years or so; don't know if it is true, but it seems that way in my experience. I have developed shampoo allergies in the past totally out of the blue, as well as skin sensitivity. Do patch testing on her arm, place a dab of everything she uses on her inner arm, leave on for 24-48 hours (no showers) covering with a band-aid and then check to see if there is a reaction. That is how I found out it was the shampoo I had been using for years; stopped using the shampoo and my rash went away instantly. But regardless call the dermatologist, make an appointment, I cannot believe you have not called them because you think it will take too long to explain to them the problem; tell them skin rash, period. It may just be a reaction to the drug she is on as well, so once she is off it still may take weeks to clear up and she may need somethings to counteract the reaction. My daughter a few years ago had a reaction to Omnicef, they had to put her on 2 other drugs to get the rash to go away, then taper her off them once the rash disappearred, took about 2-3 weeks for the whole process. Call doctor today, get her in ASAP!
5.4, I think. But might have changed since this was
x
I personally know a guy who does that online dating stuff
He is seeing one girl seriously (or so she thinks) that lives in another state. Every chance he gets, he meets up with other local women. Bottom line is he is having sex with all of them. Friend of my husband. Isn't that nice? So...my advice, if he's still looking, you're not *the one*. Sorry but that's my opinion.
Said the woman who is dating an indicted felon!
Natalie Cole has a lot of nerve talking trash about other people when she herself is involved in a relationship with a con man who is currently under four felony indictments!
 
Just back into the dating scene - question (sm)
I have recently gotten back into the dating scene and met a nice guy (online) who lives locally. We have emailed back and forth and he is very nice to talk to. But when I met him recently I realized there was no attraction - at all. But he really likes me. Would it be better for me to just say right now that I am not interested or should I keep talking to him and gradually slow down how much I talk to him? Can I tell him I just want to be friends? I feel like a teenager again! I don't want to hurt his feelings.
...and dating leads to...? She does not say she is not contemplating marriage. sm
In fact, I got quite the opposite impression.
Look, all I'm saying is that we have an awful lot of situations like this that turn into tragedies, when it didn't have to happen. This is a world in which we must ask ourselves the hard questions and take reasonable precautions to protect ourselves.
It's really hard for me to see how this is something that shouldn't be said, even if you and the OP don't happen to like it.
Dating sympathy (from married person)
I would hate to go back to dating. I've been married 18 years but I do remember what single life and dating were like.
The majority of them were creeps for one reason or another (especially the one going to law school - I got my first clue when I saw a sticker inside his car - his last name is also an occupation and the sticker said _________ know all the right strokes). (eye roll)
I mentioned in another post that I had moved into an apt. with my boyfriend of about a year, and 3 weeks later, he left me for his ex-wife.
At that point, I swore off of men. I figured I'd just live in the same apartment and go to work at the hospital 5 days a week for the rest of my life. That's when my husband walked into my life.
I had first met him in 1985 when, after graduating high school, I went to work at McDonald's. He was a swing manager, 2 years older and so darned handsome. We dated for quite awhile but it wasn't exclusive. He then joined the navy and got married. Three years later, his ex told him she needed to get a life and filed for divorce.
About 3 months prior to this, I swore off men for good. Then, one day, I was working a Saturday at the hospital (I think it was to make up for the day I missed when I had a diagnostic laparoscopy - yeah, it was stupid going back to work the day after you have surgery). I got a phone call from my mom, asking me if I remembered such and such. My husband's sister had called my parents' house but my mom didn't want to give out info, so she called and gave the info to me. I called his sister and we gabbed. I told her I remembered her and definitely remembered him. She asked me to meet her and her boyfriend at a bar along with my (future) husband. Well, I said "what the heck". I agreed to go.
Now, this is 3 days status post a laparoscopy and they weren't as good about getting the CO2 out back in 1990 as they are today and that day, I had gas so bad, I probably could have filled up my gas tank 3 times over. I spent almost the entire date squeezing my cheeks together (thankfully we weren't dancing or doing other physical things - LOL). I still had a really good time but was relieved when I left his house. I lived about 10 minutes away and I swear, I must have passed gas the entire ride home.
He knows all about it now. Heck, I can't remember the last time I even closed the door to the bathroom. We have no kids and if I do close the door, all 3 pugs sit outside and scratch the door, whine and cry. I gave up. I'm sometimes even "lucky" enough to have one of them on my lap while I'm going.
Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is love/good relationships seem to come when you least expect them. When I pursued dating or had someone fix me up, or met a guy in a bar or whatever, it never ended well. Nowadays, how do you know if you're supposed to pay half for the date?
Like I said, I feel for you guys. If my husband dropped dead tomorrow, I think I'd remain single the rest of my life.
Good luck to all of you and God bless!
I can't get into it anymore...has it changed?..
I just get "picture of the day" and not the live cam I used to see. ???
This was some years ago and probably has changed
but I was the custodial parent. My ex-husband stayed behind in child support, never caught up and owed me over 3 thousand when my child reached 18. He wanted me to "drop" off my child at another place, did not want to perhaps run into a new guy at my home and the judge said my child not a puppy dog, if he wanted to see he would have to pick her up there. Whatever the courts say, not what you or the next one says, is what goes. Getting the police involved is fruitless- they will tell you need an attorney, go thru the courts, etc. Calling them is taking up their valuable time and they are not at liberty to state who a child should go with. What kind of court order is there and if not, there certainly should be something before you start playing these games. I do not think nonpayment of child support now days plays any part in whether a child is allowed to visit with noncustodial parent. Basically when a court says so, you have to abide by their orders.
Yes, a friend of my DIL had this and changed
for the worst. She lost weight in her body but her extremities did not and she did not look that good. She changed completely in personality, went from mother and part-time teacher to thinking sex goddess, running around with lots of guys, stealing- things she never did before the bypass. I also saw a television show on bypass surgeries and the stories were similar to this, lots have experienced complete character changes.
In many ways she has changed
Far from perfect but definitely better and being with Nick has definitely helped. Of course, she was just recently holding over Sharon and Brad's head their affair and could go to jail for it, so I guess that is the Phyllis you remember. I have only been watching the show for about 3 years.
times have changed
dont make a big deal about it or it will become a big deal. so buy her the little sports bras that look like half T shirts. this is also good in the winter as it helps keep them warmer. no big deal.
The age for some retirement has changed
I am almost 65 (next March) and my retirement age is 67. It has gone up with people living longer and people born around my year and later will find their social security starts later than 65. I am still working and hope to continue- I have retirement money starting next April from place outsourced from (being independent contractor, that will probably pay part of my taxes for the month, ha!) I guess I should go ahead and contact SS so I can find out if and when I should sign up.
I have a friend who changed her name.
She now wants to be called Sunshine. It would be one thing if the name fit her, but she's the most negative, complaining person I've ever met. I refuse to call her Sunshine. She corrects me whenever I call her by her given birth name, so I just roll my eyes and call her, "Hey!" I think it dishonors your parents to change your name. I've known her by her given name for over 20 years. I'm not changing just because she decided she doesn't like it any more.
A lot has changed in 5 years --
I don't have any personal experience with bankruptcy, but I have a few friends who do. One of them filed several years ago and I think a lot has changed since then. I don't think it's as easy to do anymore and I think you still have to pay some of it back. It's also harder if you have assets to file bankruptcy, so you might want to look into it a little better.
On an another note, it's rather upsetting that so many people think (and not just you) that it's okay to just throw your debt over your shoulder and walk away. I'm sure everyone has their reasons for racking up the debt, but in the end, it's a decision you made. I think people should be more responsible for their actions. Too many people live for the moment and let the rest of us pay for it.
I would have changed seats anyway sm
Less inconvenient than being sick! If I see someone coughing or otherwise obviously sick, I hold my breath as I walk past them if I cannot go way out of my way to walk around them...lol. I used to be a classroom reader with the first graders at my son's school...I built up quite the immune system that year ;) Didn't volunteer this year for my daughter's third grade class...lol
remember they changed it?
It always happens before Halloween however someone in the government changed the daylight savings time weeks... my calendar on sunday says "daylight savings time ends". does that mean saturday night, i guess someone said below!
No slump here so nothing has changed. NM
X
Wow, the place sure has changed!
My hubby and I went there on our honeymoon in 1985. It was very quiet, and we went all over the place on scooters, taxis, and even rented a jeep and drove up the peninsula some 100 miles or so to see the ruins at Chichen Itza. At that time, the airport looked more like a bus station!
I would have had a great time, but it was January, and I had the flu... REAL influenza; the sort of illness where you feel like you're going to die and you just don't care. I started feeling a little ill even before we left home. By our first night there, I felt horrible and was sick for the entire week. All these years later we laugh about our honeymoon and how I walked around Cancun like a zombie.
Wills cannot be CHANGED. They can be
be contested, but the involved heirs have to agree and consent to the change in distribution.
Without their agreement nothing can be changed.
Have you changed anything in your diet?
My sister had horrible migraines about 20 years ago to the point where she thought she had a brain tumor. She found out that she has a lot of allergies to food, MSG being the worst one. She has to read labels very carefully and the big thing to stay away from is turkey. Turkey has it's own natural MSG that would put her in bed for a day with a headache if she ate it.
I hope you find a remedy that works.
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