Curbing being lonely
Posted By: Brandy on 2006-11-17
In Reply to: Focus on yourself and your kids - anon
What about getting a dog, cat, or even a bird to focus your attention on during your periods of being lonely?
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Lonely is most likely what it is
She is awfully hard to communicate with. She turns things around so much. She is actually pleasant when we talk about sewing projects, old times, silly stuff the kids do things like that.
But when she gets to telling what to do and how to do it, that is when it gets annoying. She has done that to me and H both today. She was telling H how to clean a closet and me dieting tips. LOL.
this can be very lonely work
maybe you can start getting out once a week for lunch with a friend or relative?
what about hiring someone part-time to come to your home and help with the kids while you work? it would give you a good break to get some work done.
give the kiddies their own responsibilities (and DH, too!) - they're part of the family and should contribute, too!
I know how you feel.
lonely bird
I've had all kinds of birds but only a couple types of finches, none of them Blues. I do know that finches tend to be colony birds and prefer companionship as a rule. I think she is probably missing her best buddy and she is also afraid because she doesn't know what happened. If there was any blood involved with the dying bird, this will terrify birds even more. (They don't even like it if you wear red nailpolish.) That might account for the odd chirping. It might be to your benefit to try to find out what the other bird died from because if it had anything to do with something that is still in Roxy's environment, this will upset her.
Some birds bond for life and will never accept another companion. Others can resist a companion at first but then get used to them. This is breeding season. I would think she would be accepting of another bird right now.
My first suggestion would be to get a mirror and put it in her cage and see if that helps calm her down. Just seeing another finch like her buddy might help. Then, if you want to try getting another bird (which I would definitely do if she accepts the mirror bird), get one and put it in a separate cage right beside this one. Don't just put it smack into her cage. She could attack it for not being her buddy or for territorial invasion. But if the new bird is sitting in its own cage (can be a small travel cage for the trial) and yours acts like she wants to go be with it, then put them together for short periods of time at first and watch them carefully to be sure she doesn't attack the new bird. If they are compatible, then you've got yourself a new pair and Roxy has a new best friend. Also, it would be wise to keep the birds in separate cages for a while and watch the new bird's droppings, even have them checked out by a vet for parasites, etc., before you let them live together to be sure the new one is perfectly well.
One other thought that comes to mind is perhaps you had a male and female and did not know it. I confess I do not know how easy it is to tell the sexes of Blues. I'm used to the larger birds and using blood tests to be sure, as I paired and bred for sale. But a blood test is impractical on a finch as they really can't afford to lose any blood because of their small size!!! BUT, one could have killed the other since this is breeding season and birds, even finches, can get very aggressive towards one another, even those of the same sex.
I would suggest contacting a Blue breeder and find out more about their personalities and habits. And if you buy your second bird directly from a breeder, you can be more sure it will be a healthy one. The ones that end up in pet shops aren't always the best of the clutch.
I wish you luck and please know you have my sympathies in your loss. These little guys are really easy to get attached to. Please feel free to e-mail me if you have any questions I might be able to answer.
sounds like she may be lonely....?
xx
MIL is lonely, cut her a break! nm
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your so bored and lonely you can't even spit!
//
Glad to hear from all the lonely sm
I am older and find that after years of holding back on personal information re. all in the community, I had to be careful about what I said or asking someone how they were, as I wasn't supposed to know they had cancer, etc. This further alienated me from some people I would purposely avoid getting into a conversation with. At any rate the "jealousy" factor also came into play from those not bright enough to "work" and the only thing they had to do was the annual bazaar, etc., which is fine but if I arrived on the scene and offered to help, I was actually ostracized as not being "one of the girls." I gave up on it all, don't even go to church anymore. I miss it because I believe in mind, body and spirit. Somehow the only spirituality and happiness I find are within my own home with beautiful CD's and private prayer, etc., I don't even want to try to get close to these "beaches." No one understands what we do, if I say "medical transcription" they say, "WHAT?" They don't have a clue. Glad I'm not alone. I was actually told, "Well, my house is a 'home' and I am a homemaker. I did both and my kids are healthy, happy and do very well despite the fact that their mom was a "working" mom. Geez, Louise! I also got told, "Oh, you work, so you can just bring soda and chips." I also bake, cook and sew!
Not lonely! Consider it a retreat! Get some books on tape from
s
Definitely get a companion bird - they are very social and need company. Poor thing is lonely. nm
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