Credit counseling - some bewares
Posted By: Patti on 2008-01-05
In Reply to: Thanks .. will just call them and see - MT maven
The ones I talked to when going through a divorce were actually quite high for their fees except for the Christian one and then there were some that they did not work with or would not work with them. That is always a possibility. Also beware when talking directly with the cards or accounts of if any service offers you a "buy out" where you pay so much on the dollar - seems quite cheap -- but when you do at the end of the year they will send you a 1099 showing what amount you did not pay and you have to declare that as "income" on your income tax and thus you will simply pay the government what you did not pay your creditors. Again, talk with the creditors, pick out a plan and stick with it and it might take two to three years but you will be out of debt and you did it. Again, don't promise something you cannot keep. Also remember that there is a 5 to 7 year time line after which they cannot pursue collection of the debt but it is from your last payment and so if you ever think about doing that -- just not paying -- do not ever make a payment as then the 5 to 7 years starts all over again -- heard that on Suzie Orman show. Again, if in clear conscious you want to work with the creditors, they will work with you but you will probably not have credit for a while. You have nothing to lose to talk with them. Good luck. I am sure 90% of us have been there at some time in our life.
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credit counseling
I did use one, but in retrosepct I don't think I would do it again. It ends up lowering your payments or your interest a little, but they also charge you a monthly fee - mine was 35.00. All they basically do is pay your bills for you with what you send them. It takes a good 2-3 months to get set up and working and by that time your bills are even more overdue. I think your best solution is to talk to all your creditors and be disclipined about paying to the exclusion of having a life until you are caught up. I finally got out of the hole, but it was hard and seemed like it would never happen. Good luck to you. You can do it.
Anyone had any experience with Credit Counseling services?
I am in a bad situation. I had my house foreclosed on last year but it was in a prior bankruptcy, that is good. But we had to let our car go back, which was in my husband's name and now they are hounding us over paying it back...they are saying 11k but if we give them 6k that would settle it. Like we told them, if we had 6k we would not have let the car go back in the first place. Plus we have several doctor bills. We lost it all due to my health all of a sudden. No place to turn, no one to ask. Wanting to get out lives back. Wondering if anyone has had experience with Credit Counseling and if they really do speak with creditors, get what you owed cut in half and help you out of a bad situation.
Thanks....
I went with consumer credit counseling. After my divorce I had
$18,000 worth of credit card bills to pay off. My ex filed bankruptcy but I did not want to do that. I was doing okay with the bills, but CCC told me they could get the rates lowered and paid off in 5 years. It would take twice that long at my minimum payments. I paid off 6 months early and just bought a house. You just have to be disciplined. They only let you keep 1 credit card. Believe me, it is worth it in the end.
Credit Card Debt Counseling
http://www.cccsatl.org/index.asp?_method=view&sc=43&cn=486&md=debtmanagement
Here's what you want to use... It is called Consumer Credit Counseling Services. They are legit. Now back when hubs and I did it about 15 years ago, there were no computers, per se, so we went on site to an office. I don't know what state you're in or if there is an office local to you, but it looks like you can do this online.
We did it, completed it, and it was great. However, they cut your credit cards up in front of you and put them in a huge jar (at least they did back then). Once you join, there are no more credit cards. What CCCS does is works with your creditors to reduce interest rates, payment size, etc. because they are networked. You then make one lump payment to CCCS and they disburse the money. They also take into consideration your income. I think that's what makes it all work. Also, this is what tells them how long it will take to pay off the debt. Just beware though that if you are "behind" on payments, sometimes certain creditors do not accept CCCS, so they may hassle you still and some just plain won't accept CCCS's offer.
Believe me, even though we are not late on payments, we had in the past 3 years so much personal stuff go on (sickness, death, etc.) that we have racked up some debt ourselves and may try CCCS again, as one card we have raised the rate to 33% interest because we have a high balance. We make regular payments.
All in all, it's a great plan and it does work, but you no longer have credit cards (they close the accounts), and you will have a "bad mark" but yet a good mark on your credit report for using CCCS. Check with them about that though, as I do not know the specifics. It is way better than bankruptcy...
Hope you find some relief soon! My thoughts are with you... I'm not judgemental because I've been there and done that. 
Consumer Credit Counseling Service
//
Why does closing a credit card account negatively affect your credit report
Especially when I never use it anyway, and really never wanted it?
With all the bank rearranging going on in the past few months, one of my accounts was tranferred to Bank of America. I was sent new cards and a new agreement, new interest rate etc...
So I called them up and cancelled but before they did, I had to listen to a spiel about how this would negatively affect my credit report.
Huh?? Why is that?
Definitely go to counseling!
It worked for my husband and me. I was the one who cheated, ONCE, so the person who says once a cheater always a cheater does not know what they are talking about. Our marriage had been neglected, as it sounds yours has been. Do not give up until you first try counseling. You have to really work at it, but it can be done. We have been married for 25 years now. Good luck to you.
Counseling.
x
counseling
It sounds to me that he is putting on an everything-is-normal face for you with the excited talk of the future but this is how he really feels. I'd try to get him to go to a psychiatrist (so he can be prescribed an antidepressant if he needs it) and let him know that he can go in without you and keep it private, as obviously he doesn't want to talk to you about these feelings. If he knows it is just between him and the psychiatrist then he may be more willing. If he won't go for that maybe at least try taking him to his pediatrician for a trial of an antidepressant just to see how it helps his mood. He may not even need medication but just someone to talk things out. There are also teen suicide lines where then can just talk. He seem like he wants to deal with this privately (to the point of denial) so maybe you can help him get private help.
counseling?
Is the child in any counseling? I have a stepson as well who is (not to this extreme) but has battled with not wanting to eat. We were told it was likely the only thing in his life he could "control" and that's why he did it. He has been in counseling since a young age (court mandated because his mother refused). It has done him a world of good. If nothing else, he always knows he has someone to talk to about anything and not have fear of getting in trouble or embarrassed.
And you need counseling.
dd
Don't worry, after they have counseling
as adults and realize what they went through they will resent her for it and she'll learn the hard way. Happens all the time.
been there, felt that, got counseling
We had been married about 15 years when I began to feel that way about my husband. We do not have kids, so let me tell you that I had little motivation to even want to try to work on things. Hubby suggested counseling (both group and just the two of us). After about a month of this and reading a few books at home I felt 100% better and those feelings of nearly hating him for no apparent reason went away. We worked hard on communication, which we had let slip over the years, during which time I harbored all kinds of hurts and resentments for things he had no clue were even making me upset, mad, disgusted, you name it. We will be celebrating our 24th anniversary this year and cannot be happier, so it CAN be done with hard work. You have first got to put your relationship as priority 1! Please do not just walk away without first trying everything you can!
Have you tried marriage counseling?
Would your husband be willing to go to counseling? My marriage has been very rocky, and there have been times when my husband and I separated and I really didn't think there was a chance we would get back together. We tried several marriage counselors before we found the one who worked for us. But now - after 27 years - our marriage is finally a happy one, and has been for the last 6-7 years.
But it definitely takes two. If your husband will not go to counseling, then I agree that you should move back closer to your family where you will have the support system you need. Tell your husband he can move this time to be closer to his children.
Marriage counseling
I would encourage you and your husband to try counseling to work this out in a way that each of you will be able to have some of the things you want and need.
If he isn't willing to go to counseling, then your choices are live with it or live without him.
If he won't agree to counseling, then I say get rid of him,
s
we are in marriage counseling now....sm
We have been going since the beginning of January. I found out mid December that my husband had been having an emotional affair with a so-called "friend." It has helped us a lot so far, although, we are just now getting to the heart of the "matter/affair." We still have a long way to go but I have hope now that we will work it out.
I hope it works out for you both. Take care.
marriage counseling
if you are both committed to really doing the work and making changes, marriage counseling can be a good thing. Having gone thru it five (yes 5) separate times thru almost 20 years of a "marriage" - it never worked because my ex was never willing to make changes. Every time the counselors approached his hot spots (substance abuse, physical abuse, unemployment, depression) - it was time to "stop seeing these jerks who don't know anything".
I believe honest open communication can overcome almost any issues - infidelity, financial, parenting - and sometimes you do need an outside party to guide you thru. Find a counselor you both feel comfortable with, can easily afford and be willing to give it time.
Go to marriage counseling
My DH and I have been in counseling for about 6 weeks now and already we have made major changes in our relationship. We weren't on the verge of divorce, neither one of us want that, but we were having some major issues that we needed to work through. It has been a true blessing and our counselor is wonderful. Divorce, no matter the reason, is devastating to children. It shakes their world, makes them question everything they've known all their lives. It's a horrible thing for a family to go through, so I'd strongly suggest marriage counseling. I don't know your religious beliefs, but our counselor is a christian-based counselor, so she's incorporating the values God expects in a husband and a wife into our therapy and believe me, it's working wonderfully. We've been married for going on 21 years and wish we would have gone to counseling lots sooner than now. God bless you and I'm praying for you!
Definitely look into family counseling
with or without your husband. Do you think your husband will even want to spend that much time with the children or will he fight for them just out of spite?
My little brother's (not so little anymore, he is now 33) birth father was a lousy father and when he and my step-mother divorced he was a total deadbeat dad. When my parents married my father wanted to adopt my little brother and (sperm donor)would only sign over adoption if he could have visitation rights. My "other" mother agreed because she knew he would never ask to see my brother and she was right.
I wish I could offer more help, but definitely look into cousenling.
school counseling
I know it's the summer, but when school starts back up you might want to look at having him talk to a school counselor. It's free for you and might help him work through some of his feelings, especially the scary ones.
After 6 months of counseling,
the child psychologist couldn't figure it out either. He is angry, but he can't or won't tell us why. I've pretty much chalked it up to "middle child syndrome". He's just one of those kids that demands more attention. I do my best to give that to him without slighting the others.
Private counseling
Go to a private counselor yourself if he won't go. Some of these "ANONYMOUS" programs attract those who do not get it and go around town blabbing your business, ruining your lives even moreso. Yes, they save lives but they often ruin them with their gossip, even the name gossip hisses, it ruins lives, topples marriages, loses jobs. Be sure before you let these people into your personal, private lives and your homes. Sometimes private, closed-door counseling is the best way to go. Then if you are both comfortable with going "public" that is your own personal decision. Beware of who you let into your life. If you were going to take a plane ride you would want to know the pilot.
i'd tell him it's marriage/family counseling
been to counseling, didn't work, does not..sm
This does not mean you cannot seek further counseling throughout one's life.......for whatever a situation is/becomes.......just because it didn't work with the husband, doesn't mean you cannot seek more out for YOURSELF and your children........forget him, he's a lost cause (passive-aggressives often are)....they are nothing but finger-pointers (blamers) and it's never at themselves. It's a waste of time to be with one, you/one merely only loses their self-esteem in those types of *relationships*..........
Best luck!!
time for some marriage counseling?
or at least a long talk with your husband if possible. Not by e-mail! Good luck!
Grief counseling before the fact SM
I am under a lot of stress with an elderly mother who has a grim prognosis. She is 90 years of age and has CHF with another recent hospitalization last week. She is home now, but her doctor called me the day of her discharge and gave me a complete detailed summary of her condition and prognosis. I have been more anxious since the discussion with him, although he is to be commended for his frankness and the sensitive way he handled the situation.
I know counseling is beneficial after we lose someone close to us, but I feel I need some help now just dealing with this now. The only way I can explain how I feel is to say I feel like I am carrying a bomb and not able to put it down. I know what will happen and still not able to prevent the inevitable. The nurse told me last week at the hospital that the normal BNP level is not to be above 50. My mother's BNP this last time was over 4600. The doctor told me the same value on the telephone and told me it almost blew his socks off, in his words exactly. They removed 5 1/2 liters of fluid this admission. She also has chronic renal failure. I am blessed to have her this long, but it makes it no easier to let go. I have such a heaviness in my heart. Thank you for listening.
Do not do anything else until you attend marriage counseling - sm
You owe it not only to the kids (who did not ask to be born into this) but you owe it to yourselves to seek marriage counseling before just deciding to up and divorce without seeking outside professional help. Until you can say you tried everything under the sun to make it work and can truly walk out the door with no undone and unsaid business with your husband you are not even ready for divorce. Give it a try. I have been down this road before (but for other reasons) and can tell you it turned us around. We are celebrating 25 years this September and have never been happier. Best of luck to you both. 
1. Go back to counseling. 2. Join a SM
divorce singles group. They are all over. Many churches have them.
3. Volunteer. You get to feel good about yourself and get to meet other people.
Good luck. I've been there.
uhh...that should be "suggested leaving"...not counseling...nm
Here is why you DO NOT take an abuse spouse like this to counseling sm
BTDT a couple of times. He manipulated the whole thing to his "issues" with me.
He told counselor: She makes me angry. Counselor looks at me: Why do you feel the need to make him angry?
He told the counselor: I don't like her looks. Counselor asks me: I have you considered getting some help with your weight and looks (umm 140 at 5Ə"??? Where was the problem?)
He told the counselor: She makes this marriage about the kids instead of making it about me...I make all the money...I do all the work (never housework)...and she sits on the couch and eats bonbons all day (what is a bonbon?). THIS MARRIAGE NEEDS TO BE ABOUT ME and what I want, NOT about the kids. Counselor: Why do love your kids so much and why can't you put him first?
LOUSY counselor. I went to another one on my own who said: You may not have bruises, but you are being abused. I know the situation you are in and he forbids you to work and it isn't like you actually have the time. It may take you some time to choose to get out. So, lets focus on ways for you to be stronger until you can walk out the door. HE didn't get any better HE got worse as I started to develop a backbone.
So to all those who say go to counseling, stay in it, learn to be stronger, don't let his words hurt you...YOU ARE FULL OF IT. You all may like being treated the way that DONE is, but I don't. I am a person too, as is DONE. Anyone I might ever be with needs to think I am so wonderful, special, lovely, kind... you name it, they could not stand NOT to be with me. DONE'S husband is telling her, essentially...you okay I guess, but not that great. Plus which, you can't do anything the way I think it should be done. You don't have feelings because you are average looking and this marriage is all about me. Toro poo poo.
Some of you are not very bright, I am sorry to say, but there it is.
Talk to him about it. If need be, seek counseling. Don't
zz
We start marriage counseling tonight
And I'm a little apprehensive. I've never done any kind of counseling before, so don't really know what to expect. We're having some issues that we just cannot resolve on our own and I am very hopeful that a counselor can help us sort through them. Anyone ever been to marriage counseling and would care to share their experience? 
Get her professional help fast. Maybe family counseling. SM
Sometimes it just isn't one person in the family who has a problem. That came out badly, since I didn't mean you or any one in family in particular. Just dynamics of family life.
Best wishes to you. You will need a great deal of strength, but you can all come through this even closer as a family.
My daughter started group counseling sm
She meets with the school psychologist once a week and other kids from her grade who all have coping issues, and they work on their social skills. She is 9. Maybe your school has a similar program? Or maybe some internet research would turn up some group counseling in your area.
Good luck to you and your son!
I think they should require psychological counseling before someone makes a freak of herself like th
8 surgeries and a gallon of silicone equal a bra size of 34 FFF
Sheyla Hershey has set a new record for something she can't and doesn't want to hide -- the largest breasts in Brazil, and perhaps the world. But is she in for more pain than she bargained for?
After eight surgeries and a gallon of silicone, Hershey's breasts round out to an astonishing 34 FFF -- and she claims she's not done.
In an interview with Fox 26 in Houston, where she traveled for the operation, the 28-year-old Brazilian actress and model said that she would like her breasts to be even bigger.
Unfortunately for Hershey, the state of Texas has limits on the amount of silicone that can be injected into breast implants -- and Dr. Malcolm Roth says this is for good reason.
"We know that the larger the implant the more likely there will be problems down the road," he says. "Maybe she'll be fortunate and not have problems, but those are very, very large breasts.
Maybe joint counseling with his therapist for starters since his meds don't seem to be working. A
s
credit
My girlfriend did use the service. It worked great for them. It also put all their payments in one. The only thing is you need to watch what "items" you put under the service because it will keep you from purchasing items for so many years.
credit
I have used Consumer's Credit Counseling Services locally. They were wonderful to me. Put me on a generous budget, put all my bills under one payment (had to cut up all credit cards - which was a blessing and freedom after I got used to it), cut the credit card interests way-way-down or to none, and finally got everything paid. At first there was no charge from them, but later I paid $5 a visit, but I imagine they have surely put a low charge now. They were pretty strict with me (which I needed), but it worked. They were always accessible to talk with, which I really liked too. Also it was nice to refer callers to them, saying, "I am a client of CCCS and they are helping me" and not have to deal with the callers any more. In fact, after they were notified of intent to pay by CCCS they never called again.
Good luck. It meant freedom to me.
credit
I did hear that credit counseling is reported to the credit bureaus, but so are late payments, over-limits, missed payments, etc., etc. so ultimately I don't imagine it could ding your credit score any worse.
credit
I don't know the answer to that. We have only bought cars and a house on credit since then. Be sure to talk to the credit counselor before signing up and find out. They will know.
Credit card (SM)
There was information about credit cards and interest rates going around late last year/early this year. Basically, from what I understand with the new bankruptcy law this was attached to it. The credit card companies can and will charge you and me whatever interest rate they want to, and the only thing we can do is cancel the card and pay off the balance. There were these little inserts with your statements that many of us just throw away and never think about it. But I did read the ones that were sent with several of my statements, and I kindly told them to keep my rate where it was and I canceled the card. Sad but true. 
NO more credit cards
I had a credit card with a high balance. I got a second mortage to pay it off. I called the credit card and got the payoff balance and my bank sent a check to them. I kept watching on line to make sure they got it and when they did I noticed that there was a $95 credit. So, I called and said how do I get my money back. They sent me a check and when I got it, I called and closed the account. This was about two weeks ago. Today I get a statement from them with a balance due of $45! Huh??? I called and they keep telling me it is a finance charge. I got pretty steamed and finally ended up saying that I would pay it, but no more. Well, I wrote out the check and put in in the mailbox, but I'm still stewing about this. If I still owed them money, why did they send me a credit?? What is the finance charge on if I had a credit balance? I suppose I will just pay it because they will only keep tacking on even more charges, but it is really bugging me. Has anyone else had any experience with this??
I will say one thing - NO MORE CREDIT CARDS EVER EVER EVER. REALLY. I mean it this time.
About my credit card
I owed close to $10,000.00 about 2 months ago on my credit card and called to make sure I sent the right amount as paying it off. After I paid in full, they also sent a "finance charge" for around 35 to 40 dollars. I paid that but have discontinued using that card. I have another card, used during Christmas, interest about half of the other one and getting that paid off before long also, just sent $500.00 towards that yesterday. I on the first had asked for payoff amount but the finance not there when I asked.
Our credit was very shakey (sm)
when we bought our house 6 years ago and we have now (both husband and I) been ICs in this biz for 11 years. As an IC you are supposed to work for different companies according to the IRS so you could really jam yourself up if you got a letter like that from your current company. Personally - I would refuse and find another mortgage company. I had a very young and inexperienced mortgage person when we refinanced our house through a credit union - it was literally a nightmare - I don't have the time anymore! If you have good credit move on and find someone who appreciates your business
ruined credit????
Went to work for a company about five years ago. The pay was EXCELLENT, however, they paid me "when they got around to it." Now my credit is so terrible I can hardly qualify for a home loan!!! Has anyone else experienced this problem???? Still suffering after having quit four years ago!!!!!
Sorry to say, but you have proven yourself a bad credit
x
Not the only way, my credit just restored on its own
after years of not having as posted below, went and had a clean slate just as if no credit at all in my life, went from bankruptcy to nothing bad about me, nothing! I did learn how to be responsible after that time though, now have excellent credit rating.
Credit for your daughter
As DW stated, federal loans are given to students - have her go to financial aid office/web site of school and see what she needs to do to apply for them.
Does your daughter have a credit card? Yeah, I know, scary thought, but the sooner they can establish good credit, the better off you all are. My son has a card for college students from Citi Bank. He's had it since senior year of high school and I tell him to use it for EVERYTHING. Gas, pizza, books at school, etc. He keeps track (amazingly) and pays the card off every month so he never gets charged interest. His bill is usually for under $50.
He's been having problems with his cell phone, it's already been fixed once, yet the same problem keeps happening. The contract for the phone was up last week which means he could get a new phone for next to nothing provided he renew for another two years. I told him I'd buy him he new phone for a Christmas present. I've been paying his cell bill of $45/month for years. He wanted text messaging added to his plan. I told him I will only pay the $45, he can pay the difference if he wants to text his friends because NWIHAIPFI so he can ask his BFF what time they can meet for lunch when he could just call the dude and leave a message if he isn't there! Well, a two-year commitment with the phone company would bring us to 6 months AFTER he graduates from college and he could be in Madagascar by then for all I know with the cell bill still coming to me. I asked the cell phone company if the contract can go in my son's name. They told me no, because his credit rating as a student wouldn't qualify him. I asked them to check anyway. They did, the woman was shocked, he was approved, and now he has a new contract with text messaging for $10 more and the bill goes to him! I'll deposit $45 in his checking acct every month and he can write the check.
This is partial payback for the night I had to spend in a battleship with 400+ other Cub Scouts and their fathers when my son was little. Hot dogs and beans was the dinner. Need I say more? Bunks stacked 5 high with me on the top bunk and hot air rises. He will owe me for that for many years to come.
I think its credit cards...
The newspaper had an article the day after Christmas how people are defaulting on their credit cards all over the place. This added to the mortgage companies having problems with people unable to pay their balloon payments and the bad housing market, price of gas is sure to lead (the article said) to a recession.
When I was shopping I saw all the people with tons of things in their carts, DVD players, computers, etc. on Christmas eve. This was regular people at Walmart. I saw a lot of credit cards flashed around. Paying minimum payment will cause Christmas to cost tons more and they will be paying beyond the item's life which they purchased.
We went through this. We tried to sell our house, rented to own another and went broke in 3 months. After we had 2 house, fell back on credit cards the interest piled up and it was terrible! We moved back and are on a budget. So, I shopped without credit this year, and you know what? I had more fun. And I have 3 kids. Their things were simpler than the fancy things they got last year. The most expensive things we got were bikes because they are growing and we got those on sale. The rest were creative items. I am not saying that what we did is so great. What I am saying is that peeople are not looking at the big picture these days and if they do not use cash (as we had not in the past), they may not be able to pay their debt if hard times fall. In the meantime, grandpa sent my son 100 bucks, which I let him spend on a train set (I should not have let him do that he is 7) and he cried that his money was all gone and he did not want the train set anymore. I bet if I had him save some of it and had him buy simpler things, well I bet he would not have been crying. At least at age 7 he is learning that money is not easy to come by. And he is learning the hard way because I will not give him more money to replace what he spent. Sorry such a long message. It is just that we did not even afford an XBox, and I wanted a Wii myself, but we avoided all of that because in the end we learned that Christmas is not about credit cards, the junk it buys. I think the end of the cartoon the Grinch where the Who people did not even care about the presents was correct. Maybe we'd be happy with less things and more love. I don't know. This was not meant to be a sermon forgive me. We all have to learn what Christmas means to us and I say let people do what they want, consequences are always result of actions anyway. Just IMO. Happy New Year everyone!
Can't take credit for the idea.
When I was in my late teens I nannied for a very wealthy family who bought a truck load of stuff from a children's hospital as well as made a huge donation and I spent WEEKS handwriting "A donation has been made in your name" to this hospital and then including a sweatshirt, t-shirt, mug or whatever else they bought.
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