Confessional is for the purpose of relieving people's guilt of sin.
Posted By: pastorwifemt on 2008-03-11
In Reply to: look at I Timothy 2:5 - sm
The law is written on mankind's heart. Confessional and or talking with your pastor is a helpful tool toward relieving guilt and for guidance. People who quote scripture like this should know it is fine to quote but also should be educated on the original purpose of confessional. No one ever said the Pastor is taking the place of Christ. Read up on Luther's papers, please.
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I think they do this on purpose
They choose certain clips to throw you off or make you think he will choose one in particular over another. We don't know what really happened with Tessa as we didn't see everything, obviously. Having said that, I now think he is a complete idi*t, immature and wondering if he drinks too much. Seriously. I agree, he should not have said all those things to Bevin, *would you like to live here with me*, *I'm in love with you*, etc., totally leading her on.
I felt very sorry for her, even though I really didn't like her that much and did feel Tessa was the better choice all around.
But, hopefully, after Tessa watched the show last night she'll have second thoughts and will dump his a**.
I truly think after they see the taped shows of them interacting - and then some! - with the other women they begin having second thoughts and may be why most of the relationships don't work out in the end.
He messed up the pan on purpose...to be mean n/m
x
I haven't watched any of it on purpose...
but you can't help but hear drips and drabs without even trying. I have a son in college and my daughter is a junior and starting to look at colleges. I feel so bad for everyone involved, but I just can't watch it.
IMO, he has served his purpose according to your own statement .
.."I believe my brother brought him into my life for a reason. Since he has been in my life, it has been the best year ever and I have evolved into a better person.".....
You say you are a better purpose and maybe that was what he was supposed to do and that is all?
I say back off and if someday he is single and wants to start something up, then (if you are available) go for it! I think Dr.Phil would also tell you this, and any preacher or religious, or educated counselor/psych, etc.
LOL! My MIL does this every year with 5 grandkids, just not on purpose nm
!
Just regular all-purpose flour - nm
x
gee whiz, i can now toot with purpose!!
x
please don't take on any guilt that someone--sm
else is trying to lay on you. You have enough to worry about without feeling guilty about a human reaction. First off, it was not your husband's fault for not taking the quad off the trailer. It was all your BIL responsibility once he took the vehicles to his property, to make sure they were safe. period. If they are reacting out of anger towards you now, it is because they feel the guilt of responsibility and it may end up costing them something in the future. They do not want to have to pay the consequences for their mistake...so...they are trying to turn it around on you and make you feel guilty for blaming them for your loss. they can only do that if you allow them to. You are in the right. You are also within your rights to attempt to recover for you loss, whether it is family or not. Secondly, the disagreement you got into with your sister is on her shoulders. Heated emails or not, she came to your house, became confrontational with you, and ended up placing her hands on you in anger. Whether she hurt you or not, she aggressively assaulted you. If you let it go this time, just like in any abuse case, be it male or female, it just gives her an open door to do it again, maybe not to you, but to someone else. She feels she can get what she wants by physical means, and that is wrong. You say she and her husband have always been this way, by screwing people over, so they can get what they want, no matter what the consequences. They have apparently never been made to pay the consequences of their actions. They have never learned not to be selfish. Family or not, sister or not, you have the right and obligation to defend yourself, your person and your property, against a selfish onslaught. As I said previously, your sister and BIL would be knocking on your door wanting compensation for their property if it had been stolen from you. Situations are always different when the shoe is on the other foot. Thirdly, even though you love your nephew dearly, she is the parent. It is her responsibility to act in such a way *maturely* so that her *business* is not in jeopardy and she will not lose her job or her home because of it. It is her actions that caused any consequences that come from this. Not yours. She seems to be very good at turning anything she does wrong onto someone else, making it their fault. Do not let her guilt you into thinking you did this, because you did not.
As you said. The damage is done. You cannot undo it. You cannot change it. You did the right thing in protecting yourself from her physical assault. Whatever happens now is a result of her actions, not yours. If per chance this ever calms down, and it will in time, perhaps an amicable solution would be for them to pay HALF of the loss. That way both parties take responsibility. That is just a suggestion. But please, please, do not take on the guilt she is trying to get you to take. Stay strong. Family or not, she had no right to inflict anything on you physically. Just remember that. Abuse is abuse whether you are hurt or not. Trust me on that. I have been there. I wish you all the best!
You ever think it may be guilt that has - sm
kept him from contacting her? People tend to sweep under the rug what they feel bad about, so maybe he swept his former life and child under the rug and cannot go back because he feels guilty of how he treated them. It does happen. Granted there are those who feel nothing and want nothing to do with their past "indiscretions", and are just horrible people to begin with. If it were me I'd get in touch, but with no expectations of becoming one happy family; basically for curiousity. My mom was adopted and on and off I have searched for her birth parents. She is dead now, and unless they are very, very old, her parents are dead too, but I may have some aunts and uncles I know nothing about as well as some cousins that I am still curious about and hope to one day meet. It took me a while but I got her birth certificate released via the courts when my mom was still alive and at least she died knowing her birthday really was her birthday (we had our doubts as her "parents" lied about so much) and the names of her parents, assuming they told the truth on the birth certificate, one never knows. Yes, her contacting her dad will ruffle some feathers but she has a right to contact him and should not let others stop her if she really wants to contact him just because they don't like the idea.
Guilt
Guilt is a major side effect of depression. Believe me, I know! I didn’t realize the extent of my depression until after I started treatment for it. Now that I am on the “other” side of the coin, I am much more aware of the symptoms and triggers. I, too, wondered why everything made me feel guilty, especially when no one really even tried to make me feel that way; I brought it on myself. For years, I kept asking myself why I was feeling that way and never came to a solid conclusion. Now that I am on medication, there was no real reason for my guilt other than I was depressed. I can honestly say that any guilt I feel right now is a normal healthy level, enough to help me remain considerate to others, but it is no longer a major part of my life. I feel like a slave who has been set free from bondage. I’ve learned that it’s okay to pamper myself and take care of some my own needs. However, I don’t think I could have ever done it on my own without the help of medication.
I would never put you on guilt trip for that
That little beast is a nervy ho!!!! The worst part of having kids is dealing with other kids and their parents. How DARE she do that? Use your computer? But I will say, this will be an ongoing war for eternity now with the mother.
first, quit the guilt
If you have been burned by someone repeatedly, and they still want you around, they have to be open to your verification to gain your trust. He doesn't respect you enough to get help and stick with it, as he has proven repeatedly, so why should he be surprised if you want reassurance of his activities. If he doesn't want to change, then there is nothing you can do to make him. You have to decide if it is really worth hanging on. Is life apart from him really that much worse than with him? I would advise you to see if there is anyone you can talk to who is an expert on addiction and those who live with addicts (you didn't say whether you have a counselor available or maybe a support group). FWIW, I've been there, and I would never give a man as many chances as you have. It is your life. Reclaim it for yourself!
My point is that the e-mail check is not what you should worry about. How his problems affect your life/sanity/sense of self is what you should focus on.
Good luck!
Regardless, that doesn't take away his guilt sm
She didn't believe it then, but she does now. Better late than never. He is still guilty and people who are willing to do those types of things don't change. My point to Mrs. R is that we are not villifying men in general, this woman's husband is guilty of doing something very bad.
you're into guilt by association? s/m
As I know it, they broke up months ago..........so I have read...and anyway - you sound like my 87 year old mother!!! 
Guilt? I am much too old to think about such a superficial thing
I just wondered who makes you the guru of all things good or bad? I just happen to know that things mentioned here, not all, but some are absolutely good for you. My husband is a chef and I am a registered dietician. You need to go back on the other board where you always seem to stir things up.
Keep waking up at night - Guilt? Anxiety?
Okay - for months now I have been aking up in the middle of the night with my heart racing and feeling hot. I have to sleep with a fan and keep fipping from one end of hte bed to ther other so the sheets will be cool. I guess that could just be that I'm hot, I don't know. Then I end up being awake for an hour or two while my mind wanders through everything that I am not happy with myself about and I end up making resolutions about how I am going to improve because I'm so bad, etc. I keep wondering if the heart racing is just physical and is maybe anxiety and I am trying to rationalize it as guilt so I start to try to think of what I might feel guilty about? Anyway, the next day I am fine, although I have started spending less money as a result of one of my late night attacks! Does anyone else do this or know what it is? I'm tired of it - and tired the next day!
either postpartum depression or embarrassed/guilt
I have known people to withdraw due to feeling like people are going to make fun of their child, blaming themselves or postpartum depression. Is this their first child? Could be that she is just simply overwhelmed. What does her mother-in-law/mother think? Is she also pulling away from them?
Just let her know that you are there for her even if that means sending her a card.
I see where you are coming from because I would be nagged by guilt and feeling responsible
for the problem. I have those tendencies too. No way should you cash your IRA for a car.
Yes, guilt is my downfall. Now, I feel guilty because she has no life survival skills because I have
done everything for her...so now I blame myself about how she will survive because she has no idea what to do. I guess I didn't have anyone leading my way. I've been on my own since I was 16 years old and I made it okay. She calls me for EVERYTHING..how do I do this.. how do I do that and I know now it's time just to let her fall because she'll never learn how to pick herself up if I keep doing it. That's the hardest teacher..falling on your face. She even said that she feels different because she doesn't know anything other kids her age know how to do.. That right there should have made me STOP.. I have not done her any favors..When I thought I was helping her, I was just making it worse and enabling. I'm done with it. Thanks for listening.
you can give the people the facts, but the decision making process should be left to the people
This is what our country is founded on FREEDOM OF CHOICE! I'm laughing already; you are just as mortal as the rest of us, and don' even attempt to that you've never done anything in your lifetime that was unsafe or unhealthy. NOT gonna buy it.
it is wonderful to see how many people have such strong opinions about people in debt.
I thought that the purpose of this board was to be able to post without being judged unfairly or have somebody tell you how wonderful their personal life is, and therefore you are causing their life to be less wonderful with your irresponsibility. Well, the saying "walk a mile in my shoes" is a good one in this case. Since you have no personal information about the person you are lambasting because they are looking for information on their debt, you can feel superior. Had you had personal information about them, you might act in a more human manner. Consider fighting cancer for 4 years, working and being debilitated while you do, suffering the effects of chemo, going into debt to maintain your home for your children and looking for a way out of debt SHOULD YOU EVEN LIVE THROUGH THIS!! Thank you for the kind comments. To the judgmental people I say please take a step back before you judge. You do not know who you are talking to and if you knew the personal information maybe your comments would be kinder.
I get frustrated by the double standard they use when judging people. They let certain people go sa
What do you think about the voting process?
People who go around calling other people "low class"
have their own issues in life. Ignore them. Nothing like a misplaced superiority complex to make a person feel good about themselves. Like they've never done anything gauche or made a faux pas. It must be nice for them to be so perfect and live in a glass house.
For that matter, you probably saved your piggy's life by popping that mondo zit! It could have gotten infected or something.... (yes, I have a zit popping fixation myself, but you were really descriptive on that pig zit. gag LOL)
Man, you would have appreciated the time one of my relative's popped a HUGE cyst on her face. I was standing right next to her at the time and leaned back because I knew it was going to blow. It did! Big time! All over the wall, mirror and light fixture. I'm still disgusted by the thought of it 10 years later. LOL In a revering kind of way...
some people did, some people didn't. It's their choice.
x
If this helps...I know people who know people (sm)
who can make people disappear. 
Not really--I'd be lyin' if I said I never thought such things though! ;-)
IME, people don't feel sorry for fat people either
They actually have less sympathy than they do for people who have substance abuse, IME.
At any rate, I do feel sorry for Britney but the safety of her children should be everyone's first priority, then her safety. It would seem to me that all these hangers-on she has are jeopardizing that safety. It's all just very sad.
Some people just look at me
like I am crazy. You should see the looks I get when she rides on my shoulder in the car. Most people associate rats with dirty animals, etc. They are just like a hamster, only very smart animals. Plus they don't bite like hamsters or try and get away from you. They want to be around you. They are very loyal and love attention. She's my baby.
Unfortunately, she has a cyst growing under her arm now though. She is getting old, and I know her time is coming. :(
OMG! You people are bad, bad, bad!!! I'm going to
!
For me, over 25 people to buy for......
including mine and my husband's immediate families we see separately Christmas eve and Christmas day. We also visit grandparents, aunts, cousins, etc. a week later. We don't have kids yet so still spend a few hundred on each other. It is probably closer to 1500 combined for us.
What about NJ? People here act like
they're the best beaches in the world and I can assure you they are NOT. LBI is the cute nickname now given to Long Beach Island which is a dump as are most NJ beaches and everyone acts like it's the Hamptons or something. Been to NC outer banks and loved it. No comparison.
I think there need to be more people...
in the world like you! You are doing a wonderful thing and are a shining example to your children!
Pet (Dog in particular) people -
I have a Lab/Pit mix, probably 8 or 9 years old, who has a terrible problem with itching and scratching all over. I am hoping someone on this site has a solution for us.
I will tell you what we have tried that has not worked.
Benadryl has not worked. Seemed to help initially but stopped it and she shows no change.
Changing her food has not worked. Have tried all kinds of food, wheat free, have not helped.
Adding oil to her food, 1-2 tablespoons of olive oil twice a day, has not helped. Seemed to help initially but she went back to scratching.
Getting her groomed with dry skin shampoo/conditioner has not helped.
What DID help was steroid injection and prednisone pills on a tapering dose. But once the dose was tapered down, she started scratching some. I dont want her on steroids indefinitely. PLUS, the steroids made her very very aggressive and being part pitbull, that was not a good thing.
When it gets to the point that she and I are both waking up multiple times during the night, I have to go back to steroids. Before I do that, I wonder if anyone reading this has another remedy we could try before going to steroid route.
We also have a cat and I am beginning to think she may be allergic to the cat. Do you think this is possible? My vet technician told me it is possible but it would involve costly allergy testing and injections if it proves positive. Would like opinions from others before I take her for allergy testing.
Any info anyone could provide would sure be appreciated, not only by me but by my best friend who is suffering with this.
Thank you!
um, a lot of people don't go to the, uh, gym.
nm
I know 5 people who have had this...sm
1 has kept the weight they lost off.
2 had major complications after the surgery and 1 almost died - he was healthy before surgery.
4 lost weight but have regained most if not all of it. You can restretch the stomach back out by eating too much.
I like those too - I know a lot of people don't :-)
x
Yes, but LL should have people to look out for her
be watched 24/7, but LL could be and should be. She should be protected and anyone with any interest in this girl, either for financial or other, such as her mother, should be helping her better than this.
IMO there is no excuse for this. Maybe I am being harsh, but give me a break already with these celebs.
Just like with people
Recovering from surgery (procedures done with anesthesia) when they're older is harder for them, and you have to be super careful that they don't have any conditions that could be worsened by the medications. Please try everything you can before getting them declawed. I'm lucky, my cats love their scratch posts, but they also love picking at the carpet. I just buy rugs and stick them all over the place!
Those people should have given you (sm)
thank you notes BUT, when you give you have to give with a free and willing heart and not expect anything in return - even a thank you - because you will only get bitter waiting. Only give when you really want to and feel the need to and you will feel better about it I think.
re: people
Just me,
The Bible says in Jeremiah 17:9:
"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it?"
It is our sin nature to commit sin and we're all born with it. I don't know what the percentage of sexual sin is, but I do know that it is getting more and more prevalent and has been around since bible days because we are all born sinners and we all need Jesus to save us. That doesn't mean that after we accept Jesus we stop sinning, but are more likely to be faithful when we know the Lord.
God bless!
Jan
Pod people.
It's the only explanation. How can you not talk to people in an environment like that?!
This really is about the right age when most people do this (sm)
I was 18 and that was 20 years ago. You cannot make her not do it. I would strongly focus right now on teaching her all the possible STDs - I mean seriously teaching her - because I got herpes from oral sex when I was 21 and did not even know you could get it that way. Just sit down with her and say, "well you have decided to do this and I don't agree with it, BUT since you are, let's look up every possible bad thing that can happen" and make sure she is extremely well informed. Even find scary pictures of HPV and look up hep B and hep C and herpes and every STD you can think of. At least then she probably will not be promiscuous and will be choosy and careful about who she is with.
and once again, people come in here and can....n/m
Why do people have to
make reference to a person other than "did that nice woman smile at you?"??? If she had been obese instead, would they have said..."Did that fat lady smile at you?" Just annoys me how insensitive people can be and how they can be quick to label a person without even knowing anything about them.
I would have been offended myself in this situation. HOW RUDE!
i know this will ^&*()$% people off
I personally would never have an abortion, but think of all the people who were aborted instead of being born. Maybe there is another reason that they were aborted and that society is better off as a whole because of it.
Yep. People just don't think - nm
nm
I know some people that took their son's
room away. He was about 13 and they had only been living in their new house a few months. His bedroom was in the basement with the rest of the family on the second floor. He loved his room soooo much. This was not really a bad kid, just wouldn't do homework, chores, picked on his sister, really just immature. They made him move into his little brother's room. His LB was 4 so he obviously loved having big bro for a roommate. Straightened him out rather quickly.
IMO, most people won't say anything
so i would suggest you definitely keep your eyes and ears open. chances are, being it was brought to your attention, there may be something to it.
Depending upon the gravity of it all, you may want to do some snooping, and/or check financial records and such. Whatever you do, 'protect yourself at all times',ie, cover your bases. Trust is so important with a spouse, but not a blind trust.
Depending upon other factors, you may or may not confront your spouse, but likely not. There, you lose the element of surprise, and if something is up, the coverup will be more elaborate and harder to penetrate.
two people
if at all possible, but I don't have any help and rarely do I need to bathe them, only time has been when they had a brief flea outbreak. But if you have no help, just hold by the ruff of the back of the neck and since mine are adults, I let there back feet touch the ground so as not to hold them there by their full weight and do the best I can with washing them with one hand. I do it in the bathtub with a sprayer I have attached to my shower head.
For people our age I think
hair should not as long as Meredith's, just turned to see her because I really do not want her show that often. No matter how nice the color, the shine, etc. I think keeping any longer only ages a person. I try to keep mine ear length, any longer only bothers me.
I think too many people....
automatically think spanking is abuse because they have become brainwashed by society, government, etc. Adults CAN draw the line and I don't think there are too many that "beat" their kids. I was also spanked as a child, never beat, and raised my kids spanking them ONLY if needed. I NEVER smacked them across the face as that is humuliating to the child and my point was never to humuliate my kids but to instill what is accepted and not accepted.
My sister-in-law raised her kids on timeout and the never ending "talks". Five minutes later they were doing the exact same thing they were timed out for. Her kids are now teenagers. They are smart mouthed, have no respect for people, she is unable to control them which in turn she lets them do what they want, bribes them to "behave", etc. They come from a loving, good home but I see nothing but trouble in the future for them as they have no boundries of what and what is not accepted.
My kids were raised getting a spank or two on the behind with a firm no (never a beating or screaming at them). They have turned into respectful, caring, responsible adults with no side affects from the spanking. I ask them to do something and they do it without back talk. They call their elders Mr or Mrs. They turned out to be well adjusted, happy kids with many friends as it was instilled into them to respect people as they would like to be respected.
Unfortunately, society and the government, etc., has gotten involved with raising OUR kids. They need to step back and worry about their own kids. I for one do not worry when my kids are out at night, they are not driving and drinking, they are not stealing, not doing drugs, etc. They are not perfect and can be a pain in the a** at times, but I know I raised them right and I raised them as I see fit - not how society would want me to raise them.
I do not spank them anymore as there is no need to. That stopped at 8 or 9 years old - they knew what was right and wrong by that time. If they do something I do not like, I now talk with them. There are times that does not work and then I take away privileges such as driving, etc.
Too many people confuse beating and spanking - spanking is not beating!!
People have to eat, so it
is easy to get addicted to food. Smoking, on the other hand, is a ridiculous act of a person who wanted to rebel when they were young and got caught by addiction.
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