Case closed on gifts - sm
Posted By: anonme on 2008-01-21
In Reply to: How do you deal with people who always return gifts or sm - Anon me
I received the replies I needed. Thanks to those who understand. Obviously others haven't been there. Gift cards are not acceptable, it is a couple who are very different, as one of them wants "something to open" or a gift they "need" in which case it takes a trip to the store together for what turns into a high ticket item with no regard as to how much it costs. The other is appreciative of everything and anything. The answers I received reflect the personality differences I expected. It takes all kinds. I should know better.
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Thanks for all your positive help, case closed sm
I am going to close this query now. I have had many wonderful e-mails and help on the board which I can print (well, most) and make a little portfolio for him to get some ideas. His wife has been working double shifts nursing to make ends meet and he has been caring for the kids and doing all to make the holiday reasonably good for them. He's been doing all nighters on researching and the company is very impressed with all the research he's done on his new job and product and are going to travel here to meet him and work with him to get him started, Everyone is positive and anxious to make this new innovative product introduction a success. There are no coincidences and paying it forward has been our family's way of life and we are grateful to all who e-mailed and posted positive little hints to ease the transition, we are from a small rural area and am not familiar with that area. Thank God for good people in the Christmas Spirit. I've helped many on the boards throughout the years under another name and feel fully rewarded. I will continue to pay it forward myself and God bless you great people. We had a death in his wife's family over the holidays which we were unprepared for and travel arrangements, funeral plans, babysitting, eulogy, etc.had to be prepared, and you made our life so much easier and renewed our faith. I will close the subject now, it has been a lesson in life, that's for sure.! The end - Merry Christmas to those who passed on their holiday helping spirit. You helped us through a difficult time. Thanks so much to the helpers (and I made some new wonderful friends.). God Bless!
Maybe you should keep your legs closed
!!
Closed by subscriber
I don't think it does as long as you make sure they make sure on your report it says "Closed by subscriber"...or something like that.
If it looks like the CC company closed it, then it would look suspicious.
I could be wrong.
I have sold some property, not closed on but
get this- the new "owners" have gone in (I was told they wanted to spring clean and thus the realtor gave them keys to the place to do so) and stripped the carpets that were there and also dismantled and took down part of a cabinet. The closing was to take place the first of July. I called the realtor and asked when did spring cleaning turn into renovation. One person had asked about a possible early move-in as their lease ran out today. I told realtor no moving in, nothing else done until closing. No answer from him- no emails answered, nothing. I sent him 1 yesterday saying - oh, never mind, I will check on my property myself either Thursday or Friday morning, hope I don’t find squatters there- guess what folks, now he calls late yesterday evening wanting to know can we close today. Oh, the power of persuasion. Some people really have the nerve!
That's because your mind is closed shut
like a trap.
Typical arrogance this man accused of us - LOOK, CURIOUS minds want to investigate and TRULY understand different cultures.
Unlike you like sucking down the lies the media and your government are handing you 24/7 WITHOUT bothering to see for yourself.
Never occurred to you his DERISION of us/the questioners may have been in the least justified?
Im not defending him, but I'm also not willing to dismiss or comdemn HIM out of hand, just because the powers that be are doing so and encouring us to follow suit.
NO SHEEP HERE.
Closed-minded people..
Did you ever think that perhaps she was using birth control pills, and perhaps even condoms?? You should know that neither of these methods are 100% effective, being in this field. And she is able to take responsibility for her child because she has the finances to do so..she isn't one of these women popping out child after child and living off of the government. I wish people would get off of their high horse and stop scoffing at the girl just because she ended up pregnant at 16. Sure, it might have been a mistake for her, but I don't see why everyone should come down on her when she is obviously doing the right thing. I would hate to see your daughter get pregnant at 16. But I can hear your reply now: My daughter wouldn't be having sex at 16. Or so you think.
Just closed on 4.375 interest rate! nm
...tape the bag closed and throw it in outside trash until
s
Yes well at least he's smart enough to do what he's doing behind closed doors. He's no priz
x
homestead (closed in the 60's, AK was last state to allow homesteading)
Bay Bridge is closed for repair work all weekend -
so getting in or out of the city will be a total nightmare. I'm just gonna hang out at home and work on Monday, since I need the $$!
On Sunday there's a big (free!) rock concert at the polo field in Golden Gate Park, honoring the 40th anniversary of the 'Summer of Love' in S.F. in 1967. (Gad - was it THAT long ago?) Lots of the original bands will be there. (Sigh....Too bad Jerry Garcia still isn't around to take part....) So, if I can find a parking-place anywhere in the same zip-code, I may cruise on over there and hobnob with all the old hippies. Should be pretty cool.
(PS: I have a young, hippy-ish friend with a totally amazing tattoo of Jerry Garcia on one of her arms! I know SHE'LL be there for sure!)
The mansions are still here, but the Game Farm closed this spring
n
It was a nice day outside...we had the garage open but the inside door closed...
that wasn't the point of the question but thanks for your concern...
16 yo gifts
some ideas: A set of weights and a jumprope for working out,a gift card for tunes for his ipod, the complete set of all Rocky movies. My 15 yo is an athlete too and works out constantly. He loves our weight set more than anything.
I appreciate all my gifts. sm
I wear what I don't like. I set out for all to see what I don't like as well. I use everything whether I like it or not. I never put anything in the closet that I get. I never take anything back. I only exchange what doesn't fit for what does. I believe that if someone is nice enough to take the time to get me something, then I should take the time to wear/display it. JMHO.
If it says no gifts
then I don't take a gift. If you want to give her something privately at another time, you could probably do that.
no gifts
Will this be a high-end catered party or could you help the hostess with all the running around to different stores picking up ingredients, cake, decorations or prepping in the kitchen? I would honor the no gifts request. Cat
No gifts
How about a donation to her favorite charity in her name? You wouldn't be giving a gift per se publicly but she would probably appreciate the gesture.
re: no gifts
AWWWW get a gag gift then! Thats what we've done for friends of ours. A friend of ours was turning a bit gray when he was turning 40 and so we all showed up with white hair spray paint in our hair to tease him. He laughed and said we were all cruel! LOL funny thing is now mine is gray!!! lololol
gifts..sm
How many in your office? Are you the PR person in the ofc with the budget from petty cash and going out to buy all the gifts? If that is the case, I would suggest getting everyone Kooshballs in different colors. Who can't resist a new toy on their desk? Just don't peg anyone in the eye when you have your Kooshball fight!  Cat
Gifts...
Package of mini-Sharpies, they come in different colors; gel pens; Post-It note cubes, there are some cute snowmen, Santa ones; gift card from video store; ornaments.
No more gifts!
Sick of all of it, going to spend my money where it's needed, no more "stuff". Plenty of others out there who really need it. Been there!
gifts
There are complicated metal puzzles that are not expensive, but are very entertaining for adults and teens. I have also found extravagant adult coloring books. I think that times are changing and in the future there will be less emphasis on gifts, but for now strange and unexpected can be just as good as expensive.
http://www.mindwareonline.com/MWESTORE/Home/HomePage.aspx?&SG=PMDG1
Did everyone like their Christmas gifts or are there any you don't like? sm
I like all of mine except for the one my stepdaughter insisted that she get for me. It's an Italian charm bracelet and while it has a bunch of cute charms on it, it's not really my style of thing to wear. She ended up spending almost $4 00 on this thing because a lot of the charms were custom made or special order items, all bought on eBay, so I'm stuck with this piece of jewelry. My husband tried telling her that I wouldn't care for this type of thing but she thought I'd really like it and talked him into not receiving a gift from her so she could get this for me. Maybe it'll grow on me over time.
The other gifts, including those of jewelry from my husband, are things I like and will enjoy using around the house or having.
What I did - Christmas gifts
The year after I got a vacuum cleaner for Christmas -- I picked up several things that I wanted -- clothes, jewelry, perfume and wrapped them and put them to him and when he unwrapped them I told him his present was to see me in these things, or smell the perfume, etc. I also got him a few things for the house, ie. towels and low and behold that was the last time that I did not receive something personal for Christmas. They really do not understand and unless we communicate to them and accept the treatment it will continue.
Yes, you need 2 separate gifts - sm
I have not been to one of these in so long I do not remember. I generally went with something more personal with a bridal shower gift but we are talking about best friends, and then something for the 2 of them with a wedding gift. You can always give money for both though. Surprised though they are doing a shower, they should have everything they both need by this time in their life. Maybe some nice kitchen towels or knives or something of that nature if you do not want to go personal; for the wedding gift maybe a gift certificate to a local restuarant (something useful you know they will use). If you do not attend though, you do not have to send a gift though a card would be the nice thing to do.
When it says no gifts, I always take a card. nm
!
No budget, but don't really buy gifts.
Hubby and I only give gifts to people we live with. Which means, we give gifts only to our children. But even for the kids, we don't focus on the gifts. They each get about three gifts and a stocking. Everyone is nearly grown now, ages 17, 18 and 20. DH and I haven't exchanged Christmas gifts in over 20 years. We simply go out and spend time together during the season. We'll have a really nice dinner somewhere, or go to a show, something like that.
I've tried very hard to stay away from the materialism at Christmas. It's just not what it's about.
Iraq gifts sm
Again, cannot emphasize enough the importance of these guys and gals giving their lives so we can live free. Just imagine some terrorist knocking at your door! Gosh, these guys are OUR guys who are offering their lives for us, and will not ask for a thing. The operative word here is NOTHING, is which they ask for. Let's send them lots of SOMETHING! My opeative word is FIRST which is them. Let's get some dialogue going. No negative postings please! Let's just emphasize our GUYS AND GALS who will not be home for CHRISTmas!!!!!!!! I'm ready to give, are you?? Only legit please, we have a brain!
Guy/Girl gifts
We have this every year with one side of family. Last year I bought the girl gift that everyone was wanting!! JCPenney was having a sale of the hair care products and I bought Biolage brand of shampoo, conditioner, hairspray, etc.... it was buy 2 get 1 free. So they got 6 things for less than $40. Guys we have done golf course passes, movie tickets, sports stuff and restaurant gift cards.
Opening gifts
I don't have kids, but when the nieces and nephews on one side open gifts, it is this chaotic scramble, everybody opening at once. That's not how we did it when I was a kid, or on my side of the family today, and I really feel it cheapens it. I don't get to see these kids often, and it would be so enjoyable to have each one open a gift with the rest of us looking on, to see the reaction, talk about the gift, hear the thank-you at the time the gift is received so they comprehend who gave them what. Otherwise, what's the point? Might as well just bring in a dump truck and dump a bunch of stuff on them. I want interaction, not noise.
Is that so wrong?
Silly gifts....
My hubby tries! He got me 2 pair of socks and a pair of slippers! He did not read the package the socks came in....They were for foot odor! Haha I won't let him live this one down for a while! He made up for that with an iPod docking station though! As far as food, I am sooooo stuffed I cannot eat another thing. I am still playing with my kids' toys. The toys out now are so much better than the ones we had growing up! 
funny gifts are the best
We used to do an adult exchange gift for no more than $5 and we had more fun with that than anything else, it was amazing what we could come up with for 5 dollars. Some cheapskate refused to participate because they thought it was a waste of money, so we stopped. I still have most of the gifts and won't regift or throw them out, they make me laugh when I need one. One of my faves is the 20 foot yacht, a small plastic boat with 20 little plastic shoes.The last one I got was an ornament of the leg-shaped lamp from Christmas Story.
Already got my husband's gifts
I got him a nice new pair of shoes since he is on his feet all day at work as a nurse (some new Nike Shox), as well as a couple of Wii games that he has been wanting. We will also probably go out to dinner since he is off for Valentine's day.
Appreciation for gifts
Do you have your children (let's say over the age of 8) write thank you notes or call to say thank you when they receive a gift? I have always tried to make sure my child knows the importance of the small gesture of saying thanks when receiving a gift. Of course I have never made the child write a stack of 20 after a birthday party but when receiving a St. Patrick's day card with money from his Aunt or grandma....an extra special gift because he did well in sports or school...things of that nature I have made a point for him to say "thank you" in some way to that person. I am a little hurt that my sister has not once had her children call to say thank you or send me a post card, a picture/drawing, nothing. I know that I am very old fashioned and martha stewart-ish so just wondering if I'm a little loopy on this topic or if others do this too.
Baking gifts
Do any of you give baked goods during the holidays? What are some of your favorites? I get tired of making the same ole bread, cookies, and chocolate covered pretzels every year.
I will say that last year I put peanut butter between 2 Ritz crackers and then covered them in baking chocolate (white and semi-sweet) and they turned out really well. I put sprinkles on the white ones (they showed up better than on the semi-sweet ones).
tricky gifts
Whatever your specialty is in a nice bag or basket.
Coffee mix recipes with chocolate and cinnamon are good. I made chocolate dipped plastic spoons and those came out good too because you can use really nice chocolate.
There are a lot of ideas out there!
Christmas Gifts
We have two daughters 5 and 14. It's harder with the 14 year old because now she wants all the high end gifts. We usually spend about $300 per child and we're probably going to do about the same this year. Luckily they're about the only people we buy for any more. If we had a lot of family members to buy for it would probably be a lot less. Now that the nieces and nephews are older and some married, we don't get them gifts and the few relatives we do buy for we usually don't spend a whole lot. My husband and I already got our Christmas gift for each other, a big flat screen TV so we're basically done with ourselves too.
we don't exchange gifts either
We stopped exchanging gifts about 30 years ago. When my husband and I first approached the subject, we met with some resistance, but we stood our ground and said we would not be buying gifts. My husband is the oldest in a family of 7. By the time they all married and had children, the number could have been quite staggering to buy for. I was a surprise baby, my sisters being greater than 11 years older than I am, so when they began their families I was too young to buy anything to buy for them and so never started doing so. Now both of our families agree the holidays are much more enjoyable without the stress of the gift buying, worrying about what to get, how much, will the like it, can I afford it, etc., etc. The true gift of Christmas is the love we feel for our families and all we ask is time with them, and everyone agrees on this. We usually bake or take small treats to the families are who have misfortune of spending Christmas at the Ronald McDonald House in our city due to the illness of a child. Often the other kids in the family (the healthy ones) get lost in the shuffle of caring for a child with cancer. There is no gift one can give as great as giving and bringing joy to a family in such a situation. Anyway, my point is that there may be others in the family who will feel the same way, that it is just too stressful, and you may find that they will appreciate the holidays much more if the gift stress is taken out of the equation.
I should add here, I do buy something for my own children but usually one or two things and my grandchildren because, after all, Santa still comes (!) and I do think Christmas gift giving is for children. Watching my little ones open is a gift a truly a fun thing to do and makes me happy. I do ask my kids not to buy for me or my husband because they have young families and can't afford the extra money. I have always told them I would rather they spend time with me any day then go out and buy a gift.
I have 2 gifts that fit this bill.
Back in the 80s my mother made 2 quilts, one side silky and the other side imitation fur. You talk about warm! Have used those since. The best gift ever was not Christmas but my husband (actually called first to make sure ok) and then bought me home my 2 tuxedo cats- they were really small when he first got them but they have grown into big lovable guys. One a Christmas and the other just a gift. I am blessed.
I have 2 gifts that fit this bill.
Back in the 80s my mother made 2 quilts, one side silky and the other side imitation fur. You talk about warm! Have used those since. The best gift ever was not Christmas but my husband (actually called first to make sure ok) and then bought me home my 2 tuxedo cats- they were really small when he first got them but they have grown into big lovable guys. One a Christmas and the other just a gift. I am blessed.
senior gifts
Not sure why, but a senior once told me they love getting writing paper and postage stamps.
Puppy gifts
Training pads - and plenty of them!
Gifts and celebrations
Mine is 24 and still lives at home while at college...I stopped inviting the whole family last year but my inlaws and sisters still celebrate with us and any member of our family is welcome. My bil's significant other asked me a couple years ago when we stopped giving Christmas and Bday gifts, 18 was good wasn't it and I told her that I would give gifts as long as I wanted to do but she was free to do what she wanted, last year she asked my sil the same thing and got the same response.
I am sure this is not always the case, but
I have had the cashier call me over if there was no one in her line even though I told her I had more than 10 items. She said she hates not having anything to do...Of course, as soon as I am finished loading my stuff here comes someone with 2 things in their hand! :-)
I don't believe this is the case.
Come with your opinions of spooning out meds. Yoga is a great way to channel stress, but sometimes an SSRI for the long term is better. As most of us know, if you don't have time to exercise, you will probably not do Yoga either.
I have come the conclusion that older people are not as understanding of what SSRIs are used to treat. You are not weak because you have anxiety and/or depression. Most of the older generation think this is just being lazy.
I'm living proof it is not being lazy, it is an actual condition. Don't make my mistake and wait until you crash and burn. I'm still recovering from a severe anxiety attack that occurred almost a year ago. My mind still raises at night. My severe anxiety attack was due to a few different stressful situations all occurring at one time. My brain/body could not tolerate all of that stress. This field does not allow much in the way of vacations, but knowing what I know now, I take the vacations and DO NOT TAKE THE WORK WITH YOU WHEN YOU GO.
Believe me, it will be there when you return. I am still struggling with time off, but I have decided to take two days out of the week where I do not feel the need to WORK!
Try this OP in addition to seeing your doctor. Take some time off every week! You will be amazed how much better you feel.
I want to believe that would be the case (sm)
I really want to believe that would be the case. If I can just get him to cooperate - I would love to be able to be friends with him and raise our children the best we possibly can.
In that case
when you send out invites to anything, I think you should stipulate no gifts. No gifts, no thank you cards. I think not sending a thank you note is just bad manners, no upbringing. I give money to charities and expect no response but an invite and getting gifts, only nice way to handle this.
If that is the case, I think what I have is really
better. If it runs off batteries, can it whisper sweet nothings in your ear, does it give you strokes, talk dirty to you at the appropriate times, etc? If this is no, think I will just stay with my best half.
Unfortunately that is not the case here.
With a family this size there have been a few losses. No one extremely young, but still losses. Like I said they lost her husband about 20 years ago and while there was definite grieving it was not like this at all and his death was very unexpected.
no not the case...
When it is just her and her mom she always calls. She says mom is driving me up the wall today or something to that nature. She loves her mom to death but sometimes they clash. She always talks when her mom is home. I am not JEALOUS. I am concerned because this is not her and I don't understand it. I am looking for opinions on postpartum depression, which if she does have it nothing I can do anyway. All I can do is send her a card and let her know I am there. But I have never seen anyone behave this way after giving birth. I guess there is a first for everything.
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