Can you get him to the PCP? They can handle this type of depression most times -nm
Posted By: psychMT on 2007-01-13
In Reply to: Anybody's hubby went through Open Heart Surgery and can't get out of depression? - Getting older
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Type 1 requires insulin, type 2 does not - sm
that is the basic difference. Type 2 can be controlled by diet changes and/or medication (pills). My MIL has type 2 which runs in her family, no one is obese either. She controls it with diet and medication. Your dermatologist I think is wrong. Doesn't your husband know which type he has?
Oh, please! End times! People have been saying that since the beginning times!
It's just sensationalism. It seems that journalism has gone to a warm place in a handbasket. I briefly majored in journalism back in 1980, and what passes for journalism now would have flunked any of us right our of an entry-level course! It's all sensational reporting, because networks think that brings in the viewers, and thus drives up the advertising price that they can charge during broadcasts.
Another of my pet peeves in "journalism" is the phrase "Unconfirmed sources say . . . " Yeah. Right. Unconfirmed sources is just another way of saying, "Rumor has it . . . "
Next time there is breaking news, listen for it. It's said over and over again, because the networks and stations want to get the news out first. I don't know what happened to fact-checking and pursuit of the truth in journalism, but it's all about getting info out fast, and keeping the public tuned in with the most sensational reports that they can put out there.
Back in the days of the Roman Empire, people were treating each other pretty badly and in unbelievable ways, too. Crucifixion comes to mind. So, I don't really think modern news reports are pointing to end times any more than at any other time in recorded history.
How would you handle it!
My mother has this friend who she knew in highschool “Mary”. My mother moved away very young, but after we moved back (40 yrs later) they started talking again. Mary used to call my mother and they would go and eat dinner and such. My mom is 70 and this lady is around same age.
Just for a visual. Nothing against the weight…My mother is 6’2 and average build and very modest and clean. Mary is about 5’5 and about 300+. She has food issues and will just pile food up. I’m sorry but she is disgusting. She just wants to sit around and eat and sleep.
Mary had started calling to go out and eat or for coffee and then not pay, expecting my mother to pay for everything. My mother has taken food to this lady’s house when she cooked a big meal or pot of soup etc. and this lady never returned bowls. Well one day my mother went and got her and they went to dinner. When she dropped Mary back off at her house…as my mother says…”She passed gas 4 times, and did not bother to say excuse me!”  My mother is a very well mannered, modest lady and that thoroughly disgusted her. She refused to take any more of her calls. She would speak to her in passing or if she saw her at a restaurant but tried to avoid her.
Mary just gets bigger and bigger and wears the same clothes days in a row with food spilled down them and will not bathe! It is disgusting. My mother and friends have talked with her daughters about getting her some psychiatric help but she has all of her faculties. She just says she can’t get in the tub and out. Well, sit on a chair and bathe. Now she only takes a bath once a week, yes once! This is when and if her cousin will come and bathe her. This has become just sorriness. I have seen these super obese people who can bathe themselves. She can manage to get up and down and walk and drive and go to restaurants. If she manage that much she can change her darn clothes! She is not disabled or so morbid that she cannot manage this, she just does not care.
I went to see my mother Sunday. She said Mary had called the day before and asked to meet for coffee. First time in over a year. My mother agreed. She never, ever talks during this time. During coffee she asked if mother wanted to go and eat at a particular restaurant, being cordial my mother agreed, 6:00. Mary called at 5:00 she was ready, then wanted to go get coffee again. Getting up to go and pay Mary proceeds to gas my mother out again! Too which my mother again is thoroughly disgusted.
Well I had spent the night Sunday night, cleaning for company to arrive. Mary calls. My mother who is sick was in other room and I did not recognize number. Mary asks how she is and I say sick. My mother had already told her she was sick and would be busy getting ready for company. I told her she had gone to the store. Within 5 minutes this lady was banging on the front door!  We were trying to ignore her, assuming it was her. I was trying to look out window. Mother usually keeps the door locked for this reason but I was in and out mowing lawn and cleaning. This heifer (no pun intended) just walked right in, “Hey, how are you” and sat down. Mother and I mad as fire!!!! My mother would try not to hurt anyone’s feelings unless they push her. I was floored. It was her house and I did not want to say anything. Well she has on the same clothes from the day before and she is reeking with BO! Had to Febreeze that end of the couch! Well she sat on that couch, did not say a word, then proceeded to sleep in my mother’s nice air conditioning for 3 hours! Snoring like a freight train. She then woke up and helped herself to an entire box of Cheese-It snacks. Finally after waking up good at 7:30 p.m. she asked if my mother wants to go eat. My mother laughs and says sure why not! Just to get her out of the house. My mother expressed fears that this lady would come over every day while my family was in town.
Company arrived yesterday morning. I called today my sister says “well we had unexpected company POP IN today!” I told her to tell her not to do it again. She said same thing, peeping out window and this lady walked right in. Sat there sleeping. She waits for someone to cook for her! My sister said whoo she smells and this is supposed to be “bath day”. That lady had the same clothes on since Saturday with the same food spilled down the front!
Not quite sure how to handle this one, other than my mother ignoring her and not answering the phones again. She is just too good hearted.
I'm with you. I don't think I could handle that
either. I think even though you choose to forgive and go on, would you ever be able to really feel the same after that? I think once trust is broken it is difficult. I admire couples who work through this. Maybe in some cases it makes the marriage stronger.
how to handle
Hi,
Wow. I'm not really sure what to say, but you sound like you really need some support. Have you tried AL-anon or some other support agency for families of alcoholics? Maybe they can advise you, or maybe a lawyer. I think if you call a lawyer, at least the initial consultation is free, but check when you call. I wish you luck and hope things improve for you. Hang in there.
How would you all handle this? sm
My SIL and BIL moved to town in November. So far I have arranged every get together during the holidays, Super Bowl, picnics, birthday lunches and dinners, and call her on a regular basis. She has called once. Yet every time we get together we have a ball and talk for hours on the phone and she says yes she will call, but never does. I mean, her phone dials to my house, right? Not even sure what to think here and would hate to lose her friendship, but do I always have to make all the effort? Is there something I could say that would not sound rude but let her know it would be nice if she made plans once in awhile or picked up the phone? 
what's PH? Posting Handle?????
posting handle!!! lol
You asked how others handle it. They sm
handle it by being the grandmother who stays out of it. You sent me a nasty email saying you weren't interfering, and did not wish to be judged, but you ASKED, how do others handle it. Others handle it by letting the parents, not the grandparents, handle it. Nuff said. Please do not email me again.
the mammas handle
I have a dad exactly like this. We are estranged 10 years now also. Truly, truly your mom needs to step up to the plate and handle daddy. Her hiding out is cowardly, forcing you and your husband to even discuss daddy on the lawn is unbelievably rude. Your life is not a Jerry Springer show! You're the kid in this. The girlfried can handle him or your mom. I think if you put it to him this way, his pride will get the better of him and he will get off the porch!
I feel your pain! Hang in there!
The handle are coming off ...
and DH has welded a few back on. This set is about 10 years old, but it shouldn't be doing this.
Here's how I handle finances ...
I am doing well when I see others are not but it takes some priorities and discipline.
I have a budget set. I follow it religiously. It took time to develop it. It includes expenses for maintaining the car and home, clothes, gifts, haircuts, emergency saving, long-term saving. If I have a fluctuation in income where I have excess left over - it goes to savings, not in my spending fist.
I have everything I can set up on electronic banking. It helps keep you on track if you cringe at the thought of being overdrawn and messed up on an electronic withdrawal problem!
Income is direct deposited into 3 accounts: Household checking, personal checking and savings. Household checking is where all expenses are paid out of. Savings, self explanatory. Personal checking is the allowance I have for myself from each paycheck. It is my personal spending.
Once the bills are paid, each payperiod I have a set amount I withdraw in cash from household checking. This is for gas/groceries. That is it. When we run out of cash for gas/groceries, we run out.
Don't carry credit/debit cards or checks with you.
Single most important staep you can take: Live below your means. Whatever your income is, subtract 10% for your savings and then live on the rest. No exceptions. No matter what changes you have to make, if you do not do take this one most important step, you will never have any savings and never get ahead.
If your mother does not handle this
You will all be on the news. This is your mother's problem that she is refusing to handle. She is lucky to have such a responsible daughter as yourself. But not dealing effectively with your father is just sticking her head in the sand. I hope he can't get a gun, because it sounds like he is slowly getting up his courage...
How to handle mama cat.
A few months ago a stray calico started coming to my door. I found her to be very friendly and so I let her in when I am working. I started feeding her. She keeps me company. I haven't really taken her to the vet yet as I was still wondering if she might be a neighbors cat but none will claim her so I guess she is officially mine. H agreed to keep the cat outside. He doesn't want house animals of any kind so I feed her outside but I will let her in during the day time and H has agreed when the weather is cold she can stay closed up in the Utility room at night. Anyway, she had 4 kittens in the neighbors wishing well a week ago. I am taking her to the vet to get her fixed as soon as she quits nursing. I don't know how long that will be though. The neighbors said that she and her babies can stay as long as they need to. Anyway, as I was typing along I heard a mew mew. I looked behind me and see mama carrying one of her kittens into my girls bedroom. I have my door open and she can get through a hole in the screen. My girls would love that but I know H wouldn't. What should I do?
IMO definitely depression
I think people get freaked when you say depression because they think of Grapes of Wrath or what our grandparents talk about what they went through. They say "Oh that'll never happen here" - "Gas at $3.00 your nuts, that'll never happen to us". I think that as long as they don't cancel American Idol people don't care. I talk to siblings they have no idea of what's going on in the economy but they know the statistics of all American Idols or Survivors. It's sad. I definitely see a depression coming. First, gas prices are soaring. People can't afford it. If they can't afford it they can't get themselves to work, or they work OT just to pay for gas to get to work (when OT is available). Food prices rising. Reports of food shortages in areas, jobs being shipped overseas. Then the wierd weather patterns I also believe somehow affect the economy. To me I see a major depression hitting us. Also I do read a lot of websites (the kind that my family thinks I'm into conspiracies - that is until they start hearing the same news I'm telling them about, they just hear about it months later and pretend I never told them anything).
depression?
Okay so they say, finally, that we are in a recession. I am thinking that we may be going into another Great Depression. Call me doom and gloom but come on now, look at life. So, my question is to those of you who stock up on stuff. What do you stock up on and how do u do it? I mean, do you go out one day when you grocery shop and just spend a fortune on extra stuff or do you spread it out. Also, those of you that mentioned being stocked up, obvious it limits grocery trips and probably saves some money here and there but if we face a depression, do you think that there will be a huge shortage of food in our grocery stores?
depression
Ladies, help me out. What physical conditions can cause depression or mood swings? For the past few months I have been experiencing bouts of depression that seem to come out of nowhere and hit me like a ton of bricks. Within the span of 5 minutes I go from feeling normal and content to feeling like life is completely meaningless and hopeless. This is completely out character for me. I have always had a positive outlook, very even-tempered, and don't even get emotional around my period. The year 2008 was one of the most stressful years of my life and there is still a lot of stress going on so I realize it could indeed be that I have reached my emotional limit, but if there could be a physical cause, I am willing to entertain that as well. Thanks for any insight.
Do you think he could be going through depression maybe? sm
Depression is an illness and it can definitely make you lose motivation or desire for anything. Just a thought.
I wonder if he has depression & if
depression meds would help pull him out of his funk so he could be at least motivated enough to get out & work? I fight depression & don't feel like working, but of course I do it because I have to support myself, but maybe he has a greater degree of depression?
On the other hand, I had a relative like this, and as long as anyone would hand him money, he wouldn't do anything to help himself. When people would cut him off, he'd work a while... My husband & I decided after a while of that that we would feed him when he came over to eat because we always have leftovers anyway, that we would quit handing him money but would never let him go hungry & he was welcome to eat with us anytime he wanted, but that would be the extent of it.
If he already owns a dump truck, he should be able to at least do a job here & there & get by though. I know men who would love to own their own dump truck!
There's no easy answer & I feel for you.
Had my feelings hurt, how to handle?
About a week ago my elderly aunt called and told me she was having problem with her scalp, asked what did I think she should do, dermatologist she asked. Told her I would be happy to check on an ole timey medicine to apply to scalp, used for daughter before and worked. Distributor no longer made but phamacist suggested something else. I took to her and did not want money for it and told her so. Today I get the cost of the medicine back and then she goes on to say what a terrible smell, stung when she first put it on (says so on the directions which I am sure she read), awful smell, could not go out anywhere, had to wash her hair, just terrible putrid smell. Now, except for a doctors visit every one in awhile, she does not go out and that is not every week. I did this out of kindness and now I feel hurt, not only about her returning the money but most of all how she went on and on and on about how she could not use. She is not senile, has plenty of sense, although elderly still drives and no kind of problems except I think she was kinda rude to me. Any ideas? Should I say something, let it go, not involve myself any more??
The cleverest way to handle the situation is to
I know exactly what you are going through. I think that the great majority of us who work at home and who have children have gone through this. You'd think that this mom would be more understanding if her husband works at home, but apparently not. I also know that parents who work outside the home have all sorts of scheduling/transportation issues to deal with, as do we work-at-homes. But, I think that over time, they ask so often for these little favors that they become completely oblivious as to how rude they are. Maybe they get this way out of desperation, but once they get a "yes" from someone, they return again and again asking for favors.
I have three teenagers, but I've gone through this with neighbors and "friends" when the kids were little. The only way you can get it to stop is to firmly say no. Simple answer: "No. I'm sorry that I can't help you, but my work schedule does not allow me the time to do that." Then quickly finish the conversation. If you are there in person, say that you have to leave and turn away. If you are on the phone, say that you have to go now. Good-bye. Hang up. Don't give her the opportunity to ask why or to say something like, "But it's only a few minutes out of the way, etc." Just end the conversation.
She'll get the message very quickly, and even if she's very dense, she won't ask more than a few times.
I know you feel reluctant to do this. No one likes a confrontation, and you don't want to be rude. But by being short and to the point, and then politely ending the conversation, you should solve the problem. AND the beauty part is... after you've done this once or twice, you will feel empowered and will be able to do this again if someone else wants to impose upon you.
People don't understand that work-at-home does not mean "totally available". They should understand, but most of them don't. You have to stand up for yourself and educate this demanding woman.
Not so much jealous, as they just can't get a handle on why things
m
Exactly, like when people say God will not give you more than you can handle?
How about asking the parents of a 4 year old with terminal cancer how they feel about that?
People amaze me sometimes.
I think it's called brainwash?
They are adults and can handle it. After all, this is the tradition
with your husband's family. If they don't want to go, then let them stay home. Surely they were aware this is what your husband's family does on Christmas Eve before inviting themselves to spend the night. Don't ruin family time with your family and your husband's family.
How do you handle being jealous of stepkids?
Big problem, girls! I have a stepdaughter that I am so jealous of I cannot see straight most of the time when she is here. The child is 9 years old and has her daddy so wrapped up that when she is here I am just pushed aside completely. He does not see it, thinks I am just overreacting and is even to the point of starting to take her and spend his visitation time somewhere else and not bring her around me.
I do not begrudge her getting her daddy's attention... I just feel that I should be involved more. If they are watching a movie, he loves on her and holds her while I am pushed over to the recliner by myself, when its time to go to bed, I go to bed alone while he sleeps with her and if I want him in the bed with me, I have to wait until she goes to sleep and then go wake him up and ask him to come to bed with me. We cannot close our door when she is here because she will get upset and start banging on it and crying and he will run right out to her (even if we are in the middle of a conversation), we cannot sit together on the bed and watch TV even if she is in her room by herself because as soon as she knows he is in the room with me she starts hollering for him and he runs to her and then proceeds to crawl up in her bed and watch TV with her. If they are going somewhere it is usually just the two of them and I am not invited because they need to spend some time together.
Granted, he does not get her on a regular basis (his fault, not mine) and he wants her to know that he loves her, but why can't he see that I should be included too? He wants me to love her and spend time with her and do things with her (especially when there is a football game on he wants to watch, or somewhere he wants to run with the guys for a little while), but then he makes it where I don't want to because once he is ready for her back, I am just pushed aside.
She calls me "She", not my name; she does not acknowledge me when she comes in the door until he forces her to speak to me; after our living together since she was 4 years old she gets very upset and says that I am not her daddy's girlfriend and that I am just a "friend" and she tells everybody that. I feel like he enforces that idea when he pushes me aside and he says I am just being ridiculous and selfish by wanting him to spend more time with me when she is here. I don't even ask him to forego time with her, I just want him to make some time for me (maybe give her a bedtime and have grownup time with me after she is asleep even?).
Am I just ridiculous as he says, or am I right in feeling the way I do? Help, please...
how to handle a pet you do not care for anymore
In October we got a 7-week old cat from a local vet. We loved her, she was a sweet ball of fluff. She is mainly an indoor cat but does like to go out a few times a day. A few weeks back she started eliminating (both) on my down comfortor, which is a PITA to wash!!! I thought it was just the comfortor so I would just put it away every day after i woke up. I thought maybe it was the litter so I have changed the type of litter I used and that seemed to help. But last night she peed on the bed itself, not the comfortor. The mattress is only about 6 months old, i'm very upset about this!!
Consequently to me disciplining her for this, the cat does not like me anymore. She does not allow me to pet her, she will no longer sit in my lap. The only time she is friendly with me is when I am making food in the kitchen and she comes and rubs on my legs because she wants food. The only thing I did was take her and put her outside when she eliminated on the bed. I use a spray bottle to keep her off of the table and now to completely keep her out of my room. She does not eliminate anywhere else in the house but my bed and the litter pan.
Besides this she plays rough. She is always biting and scratching. Maybe it has just been too long since I had a kitten and forgot but do they normally do that? she is not very loving. This makes me sad as I wanted a lazy Garfield type cat LOL. I know it's not fair for me to expect her to act a certain way but I can't help being dissapointed. She is ruining my bed. I have started putting her outside more but my youngest gets sad when I do as he thinks she won't come back and that is a battle.
Anybody had problems like this? I know there is a spray you can buy so they will not eliminate on certain places but won't she just find somewhere else to do it?
What's your opinion on the Monster handle?
I've been researching steam mops, and this one has lots of good reviews. The only negative that I'm finding is that some people find the handle to be flimsy, and a few have noted that they've snapped the handle when they've pushed too hard. I'm on the verge of buying one of these, but I'd like to know about the handle. Thanks!
If you can handle the rent payment,
then let him move on and do not give him any money. Let him figure it out for himself.
he did not handle money at his last job with a bank.
Just because a person has bad credit, does not mean he's dishonest. He did not bounce checks. He did not live beyond his means. He got caught in a layoff. It's a huge stretch from being jobless to embezzlement for crying out loud. There are many jobs at a bank that do not have anything to do with money.
The way things are going with this economy, some of you might be in this situation. I'll be sure to thumb my nose at you when you start wondering what happened.
Depression after surgery
My Daddy went through the same thing after he had heart surgery. He would not go to a psychiatrist or counselor. We spoke with his primary care physician who put him on Paxil which helped tremendously. Ask your PCP or cardiologist if it would be possible to start him on an antidepressant to see if that may make a diffence.
Good luck and take care.
I don't think the depression meds --sm
should be taken in conjunction with pot. Anger and anxiety issues were already present prior to father's death. He may be grieving on some level, as his own psyche will allow, but sounds more like an excuse to me. I have lived with these types in the past. His lack of ambition is probably due to the pot, as well. Thinking of the child, I feel that separation from the source of this frustration would be the best thing for the boy. Counseling rarely works for the spouse, but it would probably benefit you. Go with your gut reaction on this as to what is best. You live with the man, and you know more about him than what you can post here. Trust your instincts. Good luck to you.
Could you be suffering from a depression?
Maybe go to your doctor and ask for an exam regarding your symptoms of being tired and wanting to always eat. Those are signs of depression. Are you on an antidepressant? They certainly have helped me.
Jan
Even postpartum depression.
I had a friend who was not even the same person after she had her second child. She was afraid to go out in public and would field all her calls through her husband and had never done anything like that before. We tried to go out together one day and she made me turn around and take her back home.
It turned out she had postpartum depression and after some time, therapy, understanding friends and short-term medication, she was fine.
Of course, the added stress of the baby's physical problems could easily account for a reason for the depression.
People have told me that one of the best things they appreciate from a friend is a sincere card or letter expressing empathy and concern. They like being able to read the sentiments again whenever they are down. Just a word of caution, always re-read such a letter before sending it to make sure there is no hint of something that could be taken the wrong way.
Recession/depression
I think we are at a "stuck" point, where it could shoot up or fall down into a rescession. I hope to God, it shoots up. I heard gas isn't coming down til after the first of the year (2009)
recession/depression
I think Michigan is already in a recession. It is just sickening to see all the homes that have been foreclosed. Everytime you watch the news or read a paper it is just more people losing their jobs. I don't know how much more people here can take. Hopefully things pick up soon!
PPMD/depression
I have depression. Right before my time, I get terrible. I am taking sertraline (Zoloft) right now all the time. While I was asking my Dr. about this medication she mentioned to me that some woman only take it for PPMD and/or up the dose during that time. I am actually considering going back to her and asking about this because during my time I get irritable and sad still.  I hear ya!!
Best Description of a Depression
I really think the movie "Cinderella Man" gives a good and accurate portrayal of the Great Depression.
depression era music
jazz age
http://dismuke.org/radio/
It sounds like you might have depression.
Maybe you could see a doctor? Talk therapy could help, especially if you work at home and don't get a chance to talk to *adults* much.
If you can't/don't want to see a doc (and you think it could be depression), you could try a supplement called SAMe (can get it at Target). Do some research about it on Google. It has helped some people. It's not too expensive and supposedly it starts working fast so you'd know if it were going to work for you before you spent too much.
With depression you lose either way -- sm
depression pretty much kills sex drive, but so do antidepressants. Still, I prefer to be on the meds.
I am ashamed of doing this, but now how do I handle the information I found?
Yes flame away about how I acquired the info. I know it is WRONG but my instinct told me he was not being truthful.
You see, the man I love has an addiction problem. Through our years together, we have gone through alcohol, drugs, porn, and gambling. Each time my trust is instilled back in him because he proves these are OVER with. I STUPIDLY obviously forgive each time as I love him dearly and the guilt I feel after trying to leave him is tremendous, and he is SHATTERED if I ever go...
Well we have been doing real well lately but we are long distance right now. We got in an argument and I know this is always his breakdown. So I checked his email. I KNOW I KNOW... awful. no it's not the first time because how else do you think i knew before... (and knew that he stopped)... and there it was, the transaction approved for his online gambling request.
I was hoping instead of being flamed, someone would give me some real advice. People say you should NEVER snoop and I agree to an extent, but how else would i know if he is LYING to me when i straight ask him about it? He says NO HE HAS NOT BEEN GAMBLING and then i KNOW not only is he gambling, he is LYING about it. If it is a form of entertainment it is one thing, but I am afraid this will skyrocket into how he used to be (he became very much in debt due to gambling, but that was while he was drinking as well, and i know for a FACT he isn't drinking)
Anyways I know what I did was wrong, I accept the fact people will be mad at me about it... but I do not know how to end it with this man knowing that he can't kick this addiction, without telling him what i have done, or without feeling the MASSIVE guilt for finally leaving after so many years.
NO man is perfect, and I am reminded this by my family. This man is a very good man (i know some will say not if he is doing these things) but i have truly felt that he is the only one that will love me forEVER even through stretch marks, babies, and whatever else i throw his way as he has done a lot for me.
I dont know what to do.
How would you handle a manipulative person who threatens
suicide every time you say you're leaving? I have been married, for a VERY long time, to a man who has refused to hold down any kind of job, who is an alcoholic, and who is also bipolar.
He refuses to help himself, take his meds, quit drinking, go to AA, etc. Over this past year, I have decided enough is enough and I want out. I have to think of the kids. I have tried to help him to no avail. Every time we have the conversation about us separating, he gets drunk and then threatens to kill himself. The first time he took some pills, claiming he took a whole bottle, when the truth was he took like four. He freaked out and rushed him to the ER. This scenario replayed again with him shoving a handful of mystery pills into his mouth the next time when I refused to take him seriously. Again, he was taken to the ER by the police that time and then was allowed to leave the ER AMA. Next, time he cut his wrists superficially and that incident landed him in a psychiatric facility for four days and then they let him out. Which brings us to today when I noticed he had been drinking again and still hasn't looked for a job and so I have bought him a one-way plane ticket to go be with his father. He is now drunk, asleep in his truck, and took a bottle of pills with him threatening suicide. I have checked on him and he is breathing and I don't think he's taken any of the pills.
And quite frankly I almost don't care if he has. I'm so tired of this game and it really angers me that he continually tries to manipulate me with this crap! I want him gone. I don't want my kids to see this anymore. I want peace. I want quiet. I want to sit down at my computer and just work without having to deal with all this drama!
So, now I'm wondering do I let him just lay out there in his truck or do I call the police to go check on him and perhaps take him to the hospital? One thing I know for sure, I am done going to the ER and filling out papers and watching him act like a complete lunatic to the nurses and doctors and watching them having to put on the soft restraints because he's a drunken fool! If I call the police, I want to be left out of the loop. I want them to take care of getting him to where he needs to go. Is that realistic or do the police have to talk to me because he's legally my husband and I made the call?
And what do you do with a crazy person who refuses to leave your home? He's not threatening me or the kids. He hasn't hit me or done anything like that. He's just a complete crazy man claiming he's going to hurt himself!
I feel like I'm on the verge of exploding! I want to scream! I want to just punch him in the face! God I'm miserable!
I just wanted to vent for a little bit. It sort of helps me to just pour it all out. Defuses my temper a bit. Thanks
Anxiety and depression are two different diagnoses
Sometimes they co-exist, sometimes they don't, sometimes long-term suffering of one will create the other. Some are situational, some are chemical. Family docs now spooning out SSRIs like candy have blurred them into a generic diagnosis with a generic fix, IMO.
While I totally agree re. depression...nm
to poster above who has done a fine job and counsels others on getting money into the bank, the stark reality is that no matter how much $$ one has in the bank, when depression hits - and it will - all that money isn't going to amount to a hill of beans that was covered by the floods in the upper states. The dollar bill has little value now, so when the depression hits none of it will be worth anything. Best stockpile on canned and paper goods (TP will be at a premium, I'm told by financiers) now with that $$ in the bank 'cause that's all you are going to have!
A few suggestions on beating depression.
In the same boat gave good suggestions for the medical care part. I strongly urge you to consider an anti-depressant and/or an anti-anxiety medication. They are not addictive, do not turn you into a zombie and will help you tremendously in every arena, especially work. You could try OTC St John's wort. This did not help my depression (it seems to run in my family and I think mine is hereditary) but I have friends who say it has helped them. It is possible your depression is being aggravated by SAD (seasonal affective disorder).
Make sure you are getting plenty of sleep. If you have trouble with insomnia, another really good natural remedy for that is melatonin. You find it in the vitamin section of the drug store. It is inexpensive and is not habit-forming. There is no set dosage. They come in 1 mg and 3 mg tablets that can be split. Start with the 1 mg and increase by 0.5 mg until you reach your ideal without hangover effect in the a.m. 3 mg is what I typically take, but have taken as much as 4.5. Again, insomnia runs in my family and it is likely your dosage would be less.
Exercise helps with depression A LOT. This does not have to be strenuous or extreme. A 20 to 45 minute walk 3 times a week or more will do WONDERS for you. Biking is great also and in the summer, swimming.
Here's something else I strongly suggest. I know it's a hard one, because I am a mom too. Stop trying to take care of everybody else for the time being and put focus on helping yourself. Find things you enjoy doing that do not cost money and then DO THEM. This can be difficult at first. Take baby steps at first. Make a modest plan for a day off, wake up and PRETEND you are not depressed, then put one foot in front of the other. Read books, watch favorite TV shows, surf the net, window shop, light candles and incense and soak in a hot water tub with soothing bath salts, listen to music, pot plants using cuttings, cook a delicious meal, change your hairstyle, experiment with make-up and new clothing styles (go to stores and try them on), start a journal or do a little research on a new hobby. Sometimes even housework can be therapeutic. Whatever you do, be very kind to yourself and do not beat yourself up if you don't get as much done as you would like. The road back takes time and practice.
Get proactive about your job. Look for work at home with a company with insurance. Make up your mind that you are going to kick this depression, not the other way around.
Only if you've never suffered from depression and
Walk a mile or two in my shoes before you go judging me, or anyone else who's been helped by antidepressants.
Totally agast, unwelcomed guest, how to handle
Last Christmas my husband's nephew was invited for Christmas breakfast and his friend came along. They were from out of town. They about ate us out of house and home and the friend after breakfast helped himself to the remote, changed channels and then spread across the couch and decided to go to sleep. These guys have no manners (older group here and they are hip-hop type guys). They later went to another family's home where they again were unmannerly. Get this, now the nephew calls (we had invited some other people) and he told husband he said he would be glad to give these people a ride! I know he probably is planning to have another dinner here (now not only his friend is in town but also wife and 4 kids). I would be so mortified to have all those folks show up, I probably would be very, very rude and it would be Christmas. My husband is not confrontational and did not say anything when his nephew said he offered to bring others and from another state. Ok, what would you do in this situation? Thanks!
Hmmm - I dunno.... the way the banks ALREADY handle money,
;)
Our stories are very, very similar. Due to my severe depression sm
something horrible happened which I cannot speak of here. It is the main reason I found God, so you and I are alike in that matter.
As for God rescuing you like that - that is amazing. I guess we can just agree to disagree on this one. He saved you by showing you meds and saying it's okay to take them, and He healed me from my ailment without meds. Who is to say one is better than the other? That is why the saying goes that God works in mysterious ways!
I am happy for you! Continue to do what you are doing. I am not judging you. I only spoke to NCMT through my own experiences. We all have our own experiences.
either postpartum depression or embarrassed/guilt
I have known people to withdraw due to feeling like people are going to make fun of their child, blaming themselves or postpartum depression. Is this their first child? Could be that she is just simply overwhelmed. What does her mother-in-law/mother think? Is she also pulling away from them?
Just let her know that you are there for her even if that means sending her a card.
POLL: Are we headed for a recession/depression?
Do you think we are headed there or already there. Some people have told me they think it is going to get really bad like during the great depression. opinions?
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