Can I ask some very personal questions? Please don't be offended and you sm
Posted By: anon on 2006-12-09
In Reply to: Go for it! I met my husband .....sm - Cupid's friend
don't have to answer. I would completely understand. but...
When you two got together I'm sure he wasn't exactly over the death of his wife, so how did he respond to you? Was he emotional around you, missing her, etc? At what point were you positively sure that he was in love with you and not still in love with her? I am only asking because of a personal situation in my life and I am curious about yours.
Thank you.
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
I asked no personal questions, just
tell me about your family (did not ask for names) and something about what has gone on. I do this locally always but also would send money to a case which I see in the papers that I think is on the up and up. I did not ask for any intimate details. I did not have to know that in order to know a little about the family dynamics, i.e. someone really down and out on their luck. Asking in a generalized way does not put anyone in jeopardy, them nor me.
Having a pet is a personal choice and it should be kept on personal property
nm
Offended others
My intent was not to offend others - that is why I worked as a wet nurse - so that those who could not breast feed their babies received the immunity and benefits of breastfeeding. I realize that it is not something that every woman can do and I never said that it was for everyone because it is not.
I would be so offended if I were you
I am a really big animal lover and probably would have turned him in for the kicking of an animal, husband or not, just would not be done around me. Secondly, running the risk of catching a disease by the tick thing, I would not live in the same home knowing this. His actions would just gross me out. Whether others killed birds or not, I would not be there, innocent animals all around that this man is hurting! Sounds really like a disgusting life style and I would never want to be a part of that. You are not wrong in your feelings. Do you have children that you cannot leave or just don’t want to leave. I doubt he will change his ways but you could tell him either clean up or you are out of there, might work.
I would tell her that I was offended and was buying elsewhere (sm)
I have learned over the years to stop wishing in hindsight that I had said what I should say to begin with. She is being rude and thinking you will pay her asking price just to prove to her that you can afford it. She is banking on you being offended and trying to prove to her that you can indeed afford it. That is a sales tactic I have seen used before - don't bite the bait!
I agree--not offended here at all.
I think that's what this board is for...a safe haven to talk about things. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't worry about what you witnessed at all. Seen it, heard it, even lended a hand a few times! We have been through the discord and will probably be through it again. It's always something. Hang in there and please try not to worry. Stuff like this happens...a lot. It's just that not a lot of people like to talk about it for fear of it being verboten is all. ;-)
no i wasn't offended :) sm
i feel like to each their own. my kids didn't sleep with me when they were babies. they slept in their own rooms and actually they fell asleep on their own very well. my second boy would sometimes spit up big time while sleeping, so i kept him close to me anytime he was sleeping, in his bassinet (gosh don't know how to spell that!!).
i see my hubby and his family and although they all love each other, there is no communication whatsoever in his family and they aren't near as close as i am with my mom and dad. i want my boys to grow up knowing they can talk to me about anything and that i'm always here for them. my hubby is the type that keeps EVERYTHING to himself. i'm not like that! i blame his family for not having open communication, and my hubby suffers from anxiety to a certain extent. his family situation is a whole nother chapter!
thanks for your input! 
that's okay im not easily offended
and im EASILY amused.
#7 is very funny
lol, nope not offended at all. Not sure what that means actually.
But, yes, you would think, right? But nope! Actually I have been going to the up-scale and very expensive salons where they have spas and serve you lattes and finger sandwiches by choice hoping I will get good results and they are the ones I have the most problems with!
If you read my other post, where I mentioned the bleach products and what I said about the expensive versus the cheaper products, you'd see what I mean.
But thanks!
Not offended, just thinking with some sense
She is emotional because of what has happened. Legally, you cannot obtain someone elses records - I told her to contact lawyer because this is not a good thing to tell. It is not legal period. She can try to protect but you cannot take the laws into your own hands, well you can but then you might be put in jail. I am just telling her the facts like they are. She can insist on him having testing but again she CANNOT make him do it. Not her call.
nor was I offended. Sorry for your troubles in the marriage. sm
Maybe he just needed some "relief" if the two of you are not getting along so well in the bedroom, so to speak, if you catch my drift.
No! Not offended in the least and as a matter of fact, sm
I never even noticed the imperfections of my daughter's feet. Interesting though is the fact I never realized for the last 20 years that the second toe is longer. Isn't that the sign of a leader? Well, she definitely fits THAT profile :-)
As for the bunions... well, let's just say it's a good thing I work at home...
first of all, I agree you have a reason to be offended
but on the other hand, she may really have been trying to have (what she thought) was an open and genuine conversation with you.
I went through a period after my divorce where I really questioned why guys who slept around were considered studs while gals who did the same were considered *luts. I asked a lot of questions from a lot of people. Doesn't mean I slept around a lot, but I was curious about the thinking behind the idea of how things could be so different when the only difference was gender.
All I'm trying to say is that perhaps in her disjointed way, she was trying to genuinely institage a thoughtful discussion about racial inequality, even though she failed not to offend, but in her own mind thought she was unoffensive. Some people really do ask questions because of genuine curiosity that has been dormant in their own minds even if they do come across as offensive. Just MHO. Doesn't excuse her rudeness by all means, but just a thought to toss about.
It is not my fault others get offended at my opinions
x
I have often wodered this too. I would also not be offended hear of someones
I have also wondered why those who do not believe in Christ (athiests and the like) celebrate Christmas.
Am so offended by the loading him up so he is more manageable for me comment (sm)
I would NEVER do that. How dare you make that assumption? How rude of you!!
Sent you a personal msg. nm
s
A little personal but
when my hubby and I want some "alone time" the dog can't stand to be in the room. If we don't realize the dog is in the room and we close the door, he lays at the door and cries to be let out.
I have nothing personal....
against pit bulls in particular. I think all dogs can be dangerous given different circumstances. I don't think it is right to single out a particular breed and just take away an animal from its home without just cause.
However, my elderly mother, who suffers from MS, has been plagued by horrible neighbors with many dogs. They do not keep their dogs in their own yard. Not only do they tear out my mother's trash, but they use her back yard as their own personal bathroom. Their one dog bit their own daughter and nothing was done. They are always barking at us when we are in my mother's yard. I had one come at me and I picked up a shovel that was thankfully near me to protect myself if the dog continued it advance. Their little dog frequently gets under my mother's feet and her balance is not good due to her age and medical issues. We have called the Humane Society and they will do nothing.
I personally think that people should have a right to shoot any dog on their property that shouldn't be there. If it weren't for getting in trouble for animal cruelty, I would have shot any or all of the neighbor's dogs in my mom's yard. A 60-some, widowed woman with health problems has no rights to keep destructive, mean dogs off of her property but hey....don't shoot a dog or you will get fined and maybe even jail time. Sad when a mut as more rights than my mom.
Any irresponsible owner shouldn't have a dog no matter what breed. I will get off of my soap box now. LOL.
This may be to personal for some of you but...
How is the economy crisis effecting you?
Your budget, your retirement, your family, your FRIENDS families.
How is it effecting the circle you run with? Do you discuss this with family or friends?
It is effecting my family. The gas thing alone is cutting our budget! My youngest started college and is driving back and forth. I've called my aunt who lives close to the school and asked if he could stay with her a few nights a week to save gas money. The drive for him one way is 1 hour. It has already saved us $$$. The fact that he can't find a job isn't helping either. There are no jobs for young people. Even in fast food!
Food prices have effected what we eat! Have you priced CHEESE lately? A 2 cup packages of shredded cheese cost more than a gallon of milk! Food has gotten outrageous.
We have our primary home and we have a small cabin that we go to on weekends. Our primary home is paid for and has been but we do have a mortgage on our cabin. LUCKILY and by the grace of God, we are in a fixed rate situation but it's still difficult. Did we spread ourselves to thin? Sometimes it is tough but we budget and try to be careful with what we spend. Our payment is nowhere near the $1500 per month mortgages people are talking about - and at that price point with an adjustable RATE - I don't know how people are living.
Also lucky that we do not have credit card debt. I've read where the CC companys are raising limits to increase spending while increasing the payment interest as well? I see more and more credit cards being used at the grocery store.
It's all just very scarey for me.
We have some friends who are building their dream home. They have worked and saved for 15 years. The economy is blessing them in some ways since there are a lot of people looking for work but hurt them in others as the price of materials skyrockets!
Really personal
I think it takes us all. :) Those with children and without. I have four kids to help make up for those who chose not to have any. :) I was in my early 30's before i decided to have kids. I adopted my 2 oldest, and then got pregnant with my younger 2!
why were you on his *personal* computer anyway? sm
It sounds like you already have a trust issue with this person. Since he is still your BF and not your DH, I feel you had no right to invade his privacy. Maybe he had viewed those things a long time ago, prior to you being his GF. Besides that, I learned a long time ago not to go looking for things, because inevitably, you will find it. You snooped, now you are hurt, and have a very different view of this person. Your relationship is probably doomed now, because you will not be able to get past this. I am sorry for both of you.
I just tell them I have a personal policy
related to telemarketing and take my number off their list. They have to do that by law once you tell them. Eventualy the calls do stop.
not personal, just in general...
So many nasty comments...the point of my post was (and this is the last post I'll make on the subject)a teacher won 10grand...woohoo!!! GREAT for him, a hardworking professional (and yes, underpaid) catches a break! I'm happy for him...end of story! Have a lovely day...
My personal experience has been that --sm
you get what you pay for. I have little trust in their products, although the prices seem good. There are other more reputable places out there.
On a personal note -
 Does anyone have any personal experience with subcutaneous lipomas? I have one the size of an egg in my left lower quadrant and the doctor says it must come out pretty quick; thinks it is attached to the muscle so open surgery is in my future. Anycomments or anything about it? I sure would appreciate it!
My personal thoughts
on the matter - - get out! My husband cheated on me the first time (at least what I knew as the first time) 24 years ago. We stuck together and he said he would never do it again. Well, 5 years ago, it happened again. I wonder now how many times did this occur that I did not know about, or find out about.
Can, but might not. I know from personal experience. nm
x
My personal observations as a
mom: I am in my 40s and grew up back in the old days when discipline for kids in school and at home was okay; however, methods used then are now taboo. It looks like *traditional* discipline (which I feel was not necessarily always sensible) has been replaced with an either hands-off approach (due to fear of lawsuits, retaliation, etc.) or extreme measures, as described in the above post. This brings to mind the question: How much more effective are we these days with these approaches?
I feel for kids these days as well as future generations - looks like they'll have their hands full, if society continues this way.
Not my personal situation but I think
a lot of the people you hear bragging about their refunds are those on some form of public assistance or single parents who are getting the earned income credit. Although I think you can get an advance on this, most do not.
Personally, I like to get around $2000 back for the year. I know I could be saving that on my own, but it's not always that easy. If it were in my account, I'd probably end up spending it. The small amount of interest I'd make on it for the year wouldn't be worth the stress of having to save it.
I haven't done my taxes yet this year because they're probably going to be a mess. We lost our house in a fire in October and were underinsured. Now we have to file some sort of tax deduction for that. It'll probably be more paperwork than it's worth, but we'll see.
just a personal opinion...
I think this can be a little tricky with kids. Children's imaginations are developing and they are learning so many new things, not to mention they do not always know the meaning of things or understand reasons for the way things may be done. Adults on the other hand, I think their dreams do mean something. I think it is their subconscious talking to them. Things they regress coming to the surface. I know I have had some kooky dreams before and they seem to take place when I am struggling with something. I wouldn't put too much into it with an 8 yr old, I have a child who is 10, sometimes they just have bad dreams at that age. If it is something that happens regularly or your heart tells you your child is struggling with something emotionally, it might be worth looking into therapy.
I have no personal experience....sm
with esophageal cancer, but I just wanted to say how very sorry I am to hear of this.
personal proof? does it have something to do
did ya see a ghost or just have one too many drinks??
It's a personal decision...
I researched this topic extensively and I came to the conclusion that circumcision was not right for my family. We've had no problems because of it. I can see why both sides have their opinions, but ultimately it is up to the individual to decide what's best. For us, no circ has worked. My child is very happy to be intact, as he was created.
From personal experience
I have a 16-yo son like this. I was like this in high school as well. School as we know it is dysfunctional. He probably is bored out of his wits with it all.
Being he is so close to graduation I have no real advice for you other than you have to let him do what he is going to do. If he fails and has to repeat the grade, get him into something like a homeschool program, be it either by you or through a district. Kaplan has one they do through lots of school districts around the country.
My 16-yo hates most of his teachers because they show that they are just there for a paycheck and do not care about him. The work is boring to him...most of it he could do in 8th grade. There is no help for students like this in our country's current educational system.
My youngest is 12. I have pulled him out and homeschool him for that exact reason. The difference has been amazing.
I think it should be a personal decision....
If a person has a medically documented terminal illness and does not want to suffere any more, then I think it should be their right.
Having seen this whole thing go down up close and personal =
I have been divorced 13 years, had daughters 8 and 12 at the time, and his mother came first. She seemed to glory in coming between us - it became a game that I was not going to win. There's one thing that I don't think anyone else has brought up yet. Children learn what a relationship should be from watching how their parents treat each other. It became apparent to me that I did not want my daughters to chose a man who treated them the way their father treated me. It has been difficult and I have not had a life because my kids really had to come first and I had to work all the time to keep them comfortable - but I knew I had made a horrible choice and hoped that I could salvage their future relationships.
a believer in God, personal relationship with God
My spirituality comes from many places...
Mother Teresa said:
People are often unreasonable and self-centered. FORGIVE THEM ANYWAY.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. BE KIND ANYWAY.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. BE HONEST ANYWAY.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. BE HAPPY ANYWAY.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. DO GOOD ANYWAY.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough. GIVE YOUR BEST ANYWAY.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. IT NEVER WAS BETWEEN YOU AND THEM ANYWAY.
-----------
And that, my fellow MTs/MEs, is something we all should contemplate!
Have a GREAT week!!!
I am personal trainer in addition to an MT
so I am at the gym working out almost every day, and when I am not at the gym, I am on my home treadmill. I like to keep in shape and always have. I find that working out always puts me in a good mood (the endorphin release). I was always active in sports as a kid and have always been very tone and fit. I am also only 25 (26 in September), so my metabolism is pretty fast anyway!
From personal experience, do not stay
for the kids. They really do pick up on this. My oldest (she was 5 at the time) witnessed a lot of fights and other things that really upset her. Also, life is too short to be miserable in any relationship--especially if it has been going on for 3 years. If you have tried counseling and that did not work, then think at least about a separation.
My family told me, after the fact, about how down and depressed I was before I left my ex, and the 100% turn around after I left. It does no one any good to stay when you both are miserable.
sorry, this should be posted under Personal Ponderings
*
I never said my reliable source was personal - I DID get it from an
internet source - but it wasn't the one you found - obviously checking my sources - so you DO care - so you are just a hypocrite!
This is a personal subject between him and his wife.
First, I hardly think affairs are only a NY thing. Do you know all of NY office holders? If you believe stats, most American adults have had an affair. I don't think that necessarily makes a person not decent, it just means they're human and had a failing. Personally, I'm tired of God complexes in Government.
This is a personal subject between him and his wife. I wonder how many of us could live up to the scrutiny heaped upon politicians. I KNOW I couldn't. I've made mistakes too.
sorry but I don't recall asking for personal opinion
no offense, but I was just asking those with experience on the subject.
commercials for personal items.
nm
No, nothing personal. They can ask for female or male.
x
Okay, girls, I need some insight here on a personal level. (sm)
I have not had a man in my life for the past 3.5 years. I have tried dating and get asked out all the time, but just no interest in the ones doing the asking I guess. I have a very comfortable life and truly am in no need for a man to take care of me. However, I have known this one particular man for over a year and just very recently our friendship seems to be heading to a different level and for the first time I am very attracted to him. So, the other day he e-mailed me and both of us came clean on our feelings. The problem is that he has had his present girlfriend for the past 7 years...they do not live together and really spend little time together, as their lives are significantly different and when asked why he simply states "it just isn't working out and that he could make more time to see her, but he doesn't"
Okay, so now I know I am going to get flamed, but where do you think it goes from here? Both him and I have a seminar to attend with another man in 2 weeks and will also be staying at the same hotel, etc. and I am just so confused as to how I go about keeping my distance but still wanting him. What to do, what to do......this has been on my mind all day and so has he and I am so not use to these feelings at all....like high school all over again.
a doggie purse is personal property.
xoxo
obviously you don't have a personal experience with mental illness
she is very sick and she needs help, which I am hoping she is getting. Mental illness is like any other disease, cancer, diabetes, etc., but there is a horrid stigma attatched to it. She can't help being sick just like anyone else can't help having cancer. It's called a chemical imbalance...when will people realize this is just as real and the affected can't help it or just "get over it"???
I am basing this on personal experience. They did not contact me
unless I was doing something wrong when I started, both as an MT and QA. I only recieved feedback when i was in error.
Maybe it's the personal preference of the local priest?
We used to do it through a screen. Once, when I was in about 6th grade, we went to a different church, and it was awkward. The priest practically yelled at me that I was supposed to say the Act of Contrition. I knew the prayer, but our other priest hadn't expected us to say it.
So I guess it's run the way the priest wants to.
|
