Calling AA will do you no good. You need to call Al-Anon.
Posted By: latecomer to thread on 2007-12-31
In Reply to: Thanks everyone for your comments (sm) - OP
nm
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I am really the only one calling it a booty call
That is just what I make of it. She met this man on second life and he was her boyfriend on that site/game (whatever you call it). I took it that they bonded so much that she is willing to run up a bunch of charge cards, leave her H and 2 boys and fly overseas to be with him. She did call my bother and tell him she made it okay. She went to a museum already but wasn't allowed to take pictures. He got to talk to the fella online.
I don't care how they downplay this..I still don't believe it is a good idea and I still believe it to be a booty call.
definitely call a good vet!
Something that starts out minor can turn nasty pretty fast. Best of luck! :-)
GOOD FOR YOU! But, think of yourself first. call the domestic violence hotline FIRST.
They will refer you to any other agency that is needed. Perhaps you do not need to deal with his AA right now. I only say this because you can only concentrate on 1 thing at a time, and you need to get your self-esteem and self-care up. Then, you will learn he has to seek out AA, you cannot make him go if he does not want to. Perhaps the domestic violence counselor will direct you to Survivors of Alcoholics, etc. But please put yourself first right now. And put your safety first right now. But don't listen to me. Listen to them on that hotline and do not be afraid to take whatever steps they counsel you to do, they are experienced and know how to help you best. Keep up the good work.
To ANON
Thank you.......
To another anon
OK....have a good night....
For anon...
Just for the record, I wasn't calling you names. You don't like my opinion, that's fine. I've read your previous posts though, and I don't think some of these other posters have. I was NOT calling you a weird lady, I was stating that to a 6-year-old boy you are some weird lady who is taking his daddy. You and the father were not together long enough for that child to feel any connection to you prior to the marriage, and you have shown nothing but hatred and jealousy toward the child on your weekly posts here. I would (and this is just a guess) imagine you're not all that bonding and loving with the child, so yes...he's not going to think well of you. And I still stand by my belief that a 6-year-old saying I got a slushie and you didn't isn't spiteful or in any way a malacious act. It's a 6-year-old being a 6-year-old.
I agree with anon
Just gradually let the friendship drop. When she wants to see you, tell her you're not available. If she calls to cry on your shoulder, listen for a couple of minutes and then tell her you need to get off the phone. She isn't going to change, so you have to.
BTW, someone below mentioned a friend using the fact that she is bipolar to excuse this kind of behavior. I am bipolar, and while there may be some things I don't handle as well as I would like, I have a steady job, I have been married to the same man for many years, I have a son in college, and my bills are always paid on time. But then, I always take my meds. I may not like the side effects, but I want as "normal" a life as I can have.
Anon - please get help today -
I really don't want to be an alarmist, however, we all read the news and every day there's a report of wife who disappears (or is killed by her husband.) If (and this is a big IF) he is getting worse and IF you feel threatened by his behavior - get help! Look in the white pages for social services and find a woman's help group. Only you can tell if he's getting angry and if you're frightened. If I were frightened in any way by my husband or his behavior I'd be out of there! We cannot give you any other advice than to seek advice in your community before it's too late. Again, to reiterate and make my point, it really sounds like he's into porn. There's many types of porn from the mild Playboy type to the really ugly violent porn! I hear that it becomes addicting to some people and, if that is the case here, I would seek help immediately!
So, Anon, be your own Best Friend...
and do what you know you need to do. We've all given you good advice here. There is free legal aid and counseling available all over the country, big towns and small. Act in your own best interests. Pretend that your best friend is being abused in this manner and look up the info for "her". For some reason you are reticent to do this. Are you afraid you cannot make it on your own? Are you afraid that he'll come after you? Do you think that the marriage can be saved? Do what Ann Landers always says "think about whether your life would be better or worse without him in it". If you think that it would be better without him in it then you need to make a decision to get the help you need. Don't tell him what you're thinking about doing. Don't let him find out you're making copies of necessary paperwork. This is about YOU and YOUR needs (necessities really). BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND! (Sorry about yelling - just trying to get through to you!)
Do you have kids anon?
I agree spanking should be kept to a minimum, but sometimes with younger kids it is necessary imo. When my oldest was 3 or 4 I had my cart full of groceries and my hands full and told him to stay right by my side and hold onto the cart when we cross the parking lot. He ran right out into traffic! I spanked him right there in the parking lot because I wanted him to remember to NEVER do that again. I also talked with him about once we were in the car, but some situations call for spanking imo.
Some parents never spank their kids, and good for them, but if a parent wants to smack a kid on the butt sometimes that is their business. I don't like spanking too much though because it does send a message of violence and fear, but sometimes fear is the only thing that gets through their thick skulls! I think you should give a warning first normally and not hit out of your own need to vent, but to get a message across to the child. Plus, some kids are such spoiled brats that their parents should spank. Overindulgence is also a form of abuse and will only harm the child in the longrun. So I do have mixed feelings on it, but I don't think it's fair to say that parents should never spank their kids.
reply to Anon sm
I can see where you are coming from but there is a simple answer - change the channel. There is plenty out there for everyone. I get sick of the ugliness myself but it pays the bills for the stations and it amuses small minds. You have to have a bigger set of values and flip the channel, change the station, put on some nice music, read something positive, take a walk, etc. There is an old song with the lyrics, "You gotta accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative and don't mess with Mister In-between." It's all out there, you don't have to pay attention to it or you will be just like "them."
I agree with anon
He seems to just be content and getting too comfy, maybe mix it up a bit. Make sure you have eye contact with him when you are speaking to him. My hubby's personality is also kind of bully-ish and tends to come across that way, especially when he is grumpy after working all day, just like I am. I tend to take care of the house, 4 kids, the animals, etc. and work full time, so I am grumpy as well. I make sure that we get a hug in and an "I love you" daily and that seems to help. The more I have taken to doing this, the more relaxed things are in the house. Try to get an hour alone every week for just the two of you. My hubby and I make sure we get 15 minutes to talk about our day every day. Try not to take offense of what he is doing, just try something different. It sounds like your in a rut.
I did it - anon from yesterday (sm)
It's all reported and official. Now I don't feel so alone. I don't want to get into a big discussion on here in case he is checking to see if I posted anything...but it's all documented by the right people and they have my back. Starting my kids in counselling there as well. I feel my backbone growing back :-) If you have replies please reply to the orginal post below...don't want it to be right up top again, just in case. Thanks for all the words of wisdom and encouragement yesterday.
i care anon,
and i am sure many others do to, but don't know how to help. i never read your previous post below until now. difficult times cause us to grow personally and adds to our character. nothing was ever gained (or made easier) by giving up. you have to hang in there. i really don't have much to offer either, except to suggest that you go the emergency room for treatment. Worry about the cost later. there are so many sources of help available, social services, etc, pantries, shelters, help phone lines. Your true source of help is God above. Learn about him, pray, devote your life to him. call a minister. I would suggest to speak to someone at the church of Christ; ask for spiritual counseling. There are many who would love the opportunity to help. i wish you the best.
I care too, anon!
Please contact me by e-mail if you just need someone to talk to....or someone to listen to you. My heart goes out to you. We are all very concerned about you and care very much, but the anonymity of this board is frustrating. We can't reach out and hug you like we would like to! Please know that we do still care and think about you often!
Thank you for responding, sm and anon...
I didn't know about not having to pay those fees. This time I really did some homework as far as the dealer's list price versus MRSP, etc. The confidence thing needs work, though. My last 3 cars lasted 10 years, so I don't get a lot of practice with this.
Yes, like I said, by all means go to Al-Anon. sm
You work the Al-Anon program for yourself and not for the alcoholic. You'll be more than glad you did. Not to necessarily save your marriage, but to save YOURSELF.
Anon poster, do you have any idea...
HOW HILARIOUS THAT WAS?! Oh my god! That post is truly a hidden jewel and I hope others read it!
I'd prefer to stay mainly anon except to say
I recently relocated to Texas (I have a few co-workers/friends that visit these boards and I really don't want them to know about my daughter's situation, it's rather embarassing to me).
I'm very angered with the school system. Not just this situation but also the special ed stuff going on with my son. The district my kids are in seems too busy to really want to deal with the parent. That's why I know if I marched down there tomorrow about my daughter's punishment, I'd get nowhere but have a headache. It's just not worth it to me right now, as I'm so very busy and with the holidays, it all stinks, ya know.
Thanks for listening.
Hey anon - I posted above but will just say a line here
Not calling Animal Control because they really are not cruel to their dog. Actually I think the dog should say and Animal Control should take them away. HA HA. Dogs not tied up and every once in awhile (every other day) it gets loose and they go running down the road yelling after it. Why they even have a dog I don't understand. Anyway...they are not cruel to it, they feed it, pay attention to it and it goes in their house at night to sleep. They are just fools that don't have any consideration for their neighbors and giving their neigbors some peace and quiet, but thanks for your post. Bout a year ago at a different location we had to call animal control. Neighbors at another place took off for 2 weeks and left their dog alone. We had to have PD come to see if something didn't happen to them inside the house. Come to find out those flaming imbilci!es went on a vacation and didn't make any arrangements for their dog. They had a freind look in but the friend showed up twice in two weeks. We offered them free pet sitting if they were planning to go away again.
Anon said 'stupider' is NOT EVEN a word.
IT IS A WORD, BOTH can be used!
Can't you even read, go back and read her post!
Well, I am European and I use British English, where English originated.
There are a lot of people who say that American English is not even English!
Glad to burst your bubble!
You are the stupidest!
True Anon, but Christ is being removed out of everything and that isn't right either.
t
Attention: Anon....website for stepmoms
Anon,
I read your post about your stepson. I just wanted to let you know that I belong to a wonderful website that allows stepmoms to talk about their issues, give advice, share positives thoughts, vent, etc. I have learned a lot from the wonderful ladies on there. Here is the website if your are interested.
www.stepsforstepmothers.com
thank you, anon. And this, Philly, is why your posts are inappropriate.
nm
Nobody loves you when you're down - anon from a few days ago (sm)
So after telling my story and getting some really nice encouragement from some people and getting bashed by others, and having friends and church leaders encourage me to report all that was going on in my home, I have the sinking feeling that once I did what I was told to do it was like, "good luck with that." I can't get any guarantees or promises from anyone I have talked to yet. I am worse off than I was before and scared to death.
To anon..She was trying to explain to the rest of us in simple terms...sm
how mares foal, bkz most of us don't have the opportunity to see that. You don't even know how many horses and other animals Hayseed has and cares for every day!
I suggest you apologize immediately.  Cat
Are you the Anon who was worried abt possibly violence or hubby taking your kids? m
Best of luck to you for taking the steps to change your life. I wish you well.
perhaps I may have a new calling...sm
old timey comfort food....Been doin' southern style soul food for hubby, but chitterlins I just cannot deal with. He's cooked them over the years in the house and I just absented myself until the smell had dissipated. (Before you ask, that would be Ellie's intestines).
How about lamb shanks and barley with carrots and onions, a little salt and pepper cooked on the back burner on low for hours? You can't find lamb ankles anywhere these days.
Is there a chance that you can just make the liver or stuffed peppers for yourself and air out the house so hubby doesn't freak? He doesn't have to eat it....just throw him a hot dog. Cat
I think i will. I'm going to keep calling the
x
have you tried calling 211?
Most communities have a 211 system set up for all sorts of assistance. I called when I broke my tooth and they set me up with an income-based fee clinic here in town. It is amazing how a toothache can become all-consuming.
211 helps people refinance their mortgages, elderly needing a ride, mental health, physical/laboratory screenings, food banks, almost anything you could need from your community.... give it a try -- hope it helps.
Calling when going somewhere and letting you know
she arrived safely is one thing. Teaching a child that forgetting something once in a while is some horrible thing is another story all together. We ALL, and I do mean ALL, forget things from time to time. I don't care how many lists you make, how organized you are or anything else, we all forget things. It may be a coat, something on our list that we made or somebody's birthday, but we ALL forget things. My children did learn from their mistakes but, once again, not from cruelty, but simply because it was a life lesson. They are both wonderful you adults who work full time jobs and are responsible people. While they had guidelines and rules to follow and knew and reaped the consequences of not following the rules set before them, we did not rule with an iron thumb. We knew they were human and would make mistakes along the way and learn from them. Sorry this was so long, but this type of treatment of children really makes me sad. I wanted my children to know that I loved them more than I wanted to rule them. They still respect me and I talk to both of them several times a week and have a wonderful relationship. 
Anyone Want a Calling Card?
I just bought a calling card for work and it screws up the dictation too bad. Would anyone like it for personal use? I can e-mail the number and PIN to you. No charge, just don't want it to go to waste, and we have a cell phone for LD.
CALLING ALL MTS WITH FIBRO!!!
Hi. I am looking for some helpful hints as to working with fibro and how others of you deal with the pain and fatige, etc. Thanks in advance.
Oh my gosh--calling you Ma! (sm)
Wow does that bring back memories! My mother, now deceased, HATED and I mean HATED being called "ma." She used to nearly backhand us if we said it...she said we sounded like bleating sheep!
That is too funny that it grates you the same way!
Keep calling them, they are supposed to pay - sm
for the vet bills, granted that is of little solace but you should not have to pay for their negligence.
Have you tried calling the police?
I live in a quiet suburb of a larger city and the police are very strict about keeping the peace and keeping out the riff-raff. I've been here about 16 months and I've called the police about 8 times. Other neighbors also call. Nothing much gets done because the hoodlumbs are too smart to be caught red-handed. But there's a long list at the police station of how many times the cops have been called to that address.
I think you missed your calling, Cat . . SM
should have been a CHEF! 
Did you try calling around locally?
df
Calling all cat lovers - I'm at my wit's end
To make a long story short I need some expertise. My male cat was a sprayer before we got him fixed way back when. Then he decided to pee in our dining room and we took up the rug and put in a wood floor (this was quite a few years ago - cat is 11). Then he proceeded to pee in all the corners of the family room. We just had wood floor put on there and all has been well. Until about a week ago, he decided to pee again on the dining room wood floor, no where else, but he still uses his litter box. I had cleaned it with vinegar and it seemed like the smell went away and I thought all was well until I again caught him peeing on the wood floor in the same area more than once. My husband has had it (he destroyed a lot of things already from when we first got him). He is ready to take him away somewhere. I don't know what to do next. My husband doused the area with vinegar again. Anyone have any ideas? Anything that will keep him away, or any other tricks to get he smell out. Any help would be appreciated. Tonight will not be a very happy night.
One more thing - about calling (sm)
Their leader will not allow them to use the phone to call - period. they are not allowed to call their parents, even though there are payphones right there at the trading post.
Name calling is never, ever acceptable
especially to a child. That is the kind of thing that will stay with him forever unless his father apologizes and has a little talk with him about how daddy was wrong.
hubby name-calling
Too bad the child in question didn't say 'go look in the mirror and say it to you'...i know, that's is a childish response but NO WAY your husband should think calling a child horrible names is acceptable. I wonder if his parents talked to him that way when he was a child...makes one wonder...
Hubby should apologize to that baby. Mom, just explain to your baby that people should'nt say bad words to other people; and always let your baby know that he come to you at ANYTIME...perhals this sounds simplistic but it's sad that adults (OR ALLEDGED adults) think its okay to tear down a child's self-confidence this way!!
Keep calling the police and s/m
You can get restraining orders for longer than 10 days. The initial one is always temporary. She needs to see an attorney on top of the cops. It sounds like the cops are sympathizing with him and not doing their jobs properly. The cops can verify how many times they have been called and have come out. This is what the judge needs to issue the restraining order. I would keep calling the cops and documenting EVERYTHING. This is about the only way to get him to stop. You need to do the same. It sounds like your dad has either a serious mental problem or is just a kid that never grew up and needs to get over himself. An attorney can get you more information on the restraining order, but the first time he violates it, you need to call the cops. Who cares if he takes off? The cops have an OBLIGATION to go and check it out. If he is a habitual offender of violating it, they can make him wear an ankle bracelet to track him. There are things that can be done, but only you and your mother can make it happen. You can't just sit back and take no for an answer. Be strong, otherwise you'll be dealing with this the rest of your life.
Have you tried calling your doctor and
explaining the situation. Maybe he will write you a prescription and then just get it filled WITHOUT using your insurance.
Sheesh yourself, and why the name-calling? sm
Just because someone disagrees with your opinion? The point of the CDW poster is that if you are tracing "life" back to conception, you are including those fertilized ova. Just like test tube EMBRYOS.
The post below about calling a professional - sm
restorer is a very good idea. My only idea would be to actually soak them and then gently peel them apart and dry them by laying them flat on toweling. It could be done this way, very tedious and time consuming but I think you'd be able to save them. Someone who does their own printing too may have some good ideas as you may need some sort of photo solution too to soak them in. Good luck.
Ah, we want nicey nice here? First off, calling
me names is meaningless, as your thoughts of me have 0 value to me. Anyone who would think that its a good thing to ship a kid off to live with hostile relatives has zero value in my book. If the discussion was on cat declawing, so many would be up in arms, defending cats (which I also love, by the way), but here its just a poor kid, so who cares. Its OK to ship him off to be near a COACH, which is one subject entirely, but to ship the kid off to live with relatives whom the mother KNOWS don't like her and are screwing with the kid's head? Give me a break. Sick is sick, and wrong is wrong. Like lets blame the woman above who found porn on her BF's computer - posters are trying to say SHE has the problem. This thinking is screwed up, and I for one have the right to voice my opinion regarding same. If you want to make nice, maybe online forums with open topics isn't the place for your dazed and confuuuuuuuused psyche.
Pot calling the kettle black - both of them! nm
x
Ex's new girlfriend calling my home
My ex-husband has a new girlfriend. She was introduced to my kids a few months ago, and they have only met her twice.
Yesterday was my son's birthday, and she called my home to wish him a happy birthday. This is, by the way, the 4th girlfriend he has introduced to the kids in the last 2 years. She doesn't even live in the same state as my ex.
Also, not one single member of ex's family acknowledged my son's birthday in any way, and my ex was only concerned about my son talking with his new girlfriend.
Am I wrong to be upset about this? I don't really care if he introduces people to the kids on his own time with them, but I feel like his girlfriends should not be calling MY home. I also feel like he should be encouraging people that my son actually knows and loves (like my ex's parents) to call him on his birthday.
Am I wrong to be upset about this or should I just keep my mouth shut about it? I feel like my personal space has been entered, and I really want to call her and tell her not to call my home.
What do you think?
FIBRO- calling PamT
Went to the physician today and said had no idea what was going on, the pain there every day but on a scale of 1-10 today, probably a 9+- but hey that had improved from the weekend when it was a 15+. I told him needed to find out what causing and he checked for the pressure points that go along with fibro and I was about to climb up the walls when he told me I had the classic signs. I told him the big drugs not helping but have been given Medrol Dosepak for a week, cortisone injection (which he says should not be given all the time but say if a vacation coming up, then get this) and antidepressants as he says the nerves travel close together, the ones for pain and the ones for depression and they have a cross over effect for the fibro even if you do not have depression and I do not. Lastly he recommended that I get into water aerobics and will check on that tomorrow. I have low impact exercises set up but had to get over this intense pain before I could even do that. Hope this information helps.
When calling up my internet yesterday
playing over and over and over the picture of this mad man in different poses. I can understand why so many of the family and friends upset today with the media. Hubs made mention of every channel playing but I just keep watching fluff and not because I didn’t care, just because I know my heart and it would just break too much. The television channels were wrong in the fact they allowed this thing to have his 15 minutes.
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