But we need to subject our children
Posted By: to society. on 2008-03-11
In Reply to: I homeschooled for a while - sm
Is it fair for me (with no education in teaching) to try to teach my child, die, and then expect my child to do well as an adult in this society? No way. Let them live and learn as I did. Homeschooling, in my opinion (again my opinion) is like the MA and PA days where there wasn't enough room at the schools or there weren't enough educated teachers coming in on a wagon to teach the children on the prairie.
I'm glad my kids go to public school. The high school I attended had a lot of kids that came from private school because the high school was vo-tech, so the parents felt the kids were getting better than public school. Those kids that came from the private schools knew more about sex and drugs than I did growing up in the public school system. I guess their parents had the money, and I guess the kids felt penned up, I don't really know the cause.
Never would I expect my children to go out and get a job or even survive one minute in college without an education from a school system. I don't care to hear about home school curriculums either because I'm focused more on the socialization. I don't want my children to be introverts or homebodies! Let them see the world for themselves and for what it truly is, a melting pot, something to be experienced, a beautiful thing, and to avoid negativity at all costs, but to experience some just to learn from it. JMO. P.S.: Thanks for listening.....
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dont you guys think she should have just not even brought the subject up? its a touchy subject at
that age. i think she knew she would be openning up a can of worms. the children who dont believe made fun of the ones who do...right in the classroom...during this very scary time of bullying in schools....she just really changed things for us 2 weeks before christmas...very upset.
Children having children not a new thing, where do you live?
My son, who is now in his early 40s, told me years ago when in high school about all the teenage mothers that were at his school and said they brought the babies to school, and he seemed to think it was like the girls having playdolls like when you were little. This is not new and apparently folks think alright to have their children sans marriage, be it preteens, teens or adults. I guess my years alone do not make me shocked at anything anymore. Others talk about this job being isolated and your post says some of this if you were shocked at what the son said.
No subject
I grew up in CT. Would give anything to live in New England, but husband won't. Then again I would not put him close to my family (its bad enough they drive me insane HA HA). Now that I think of it, not sure I'd want to live that close either. HA HA I've gotten use to our privacy. (we won't even live close to his family so at least its fair) :-) We've lived in Germany, CO, CA, AZ, CA (again), VA, CA (again) WA, CA (again), NV, WA (again), and now OR. We've lived enough placed to know what we like and what we don't (and made some mistakes of moving back to places that once we got there said...why in the world did we move to this state again). Sounds like we would love AK, but after some more serious discussions doubt we will get to move there. Hubby still trying to find a job so going to look locally. I just saw different job opportunities in AK and wondered what it would be like to live there. I will always be a New Englander at heart, but you just gotta live where there is work. Thanks.
Because that it just the subject line..sm
you are supposed to use the message space for the entire message, not the subject line. duh.
I don't mean to change the subject but
this statement "raised in all female household" - I am curious. My daughter's husband was raised by women and he's just the nicest devoted husband, really unique, and I wonder if there is something to this - Anybody else have a similar experience?
I definitely agree with you on this subject.
Everyone should worry about themselves. I am agnostic myself, not atheist, but I am not militant about it and don't try to push my beliefs on others. But knocking this person's parenting is really unfair and not very *Christian-like* according to Christian beliefs.
It is my opinion that *nonbelievers* are just scientific minded and want/need proof, that's all. They are usually people who don't blindly follow or conform but want to know why. I also believe that an atheist can be a terrific parent.
I can talk on this subject because
I can almost guarantee that if your child asks you this, when they are out on their own they would never return the same. I know, have an older daughter who asked me about my earlier life. She is now in her 30s and if I kiddingly ask I get the reply none of your business and it is not really and have told her as long as she is safe, no problem here. Your past is yours, no one elses.
This is a sensitive subject, but is anyone else SM
Tired of the commercials advertising products for feminine odor? I just heard this again several times yesterday and it is degrading. If anyone has an odor bad enough that you are offending others there is a simple remedy . . it's called soap and water. Is it me, or is that disrespectful to women? Why don't we discuss some of the more delicate matters regarding men on TV? I could name a few. 
since this is such a delicate subject...
have you seen or talked to a counselor or had your son in any? I haven't kept up on your posts so maybe I missed something, but I'm not sure anyone's opinion is qualified to handle something so important as this...
Good luck to you
what is the subject matter?
nm
That's such a touchy subject...
I have a 10-year-old son who is overweight, and for me personally, I would want to know if he is eating 4-6 donuts such as this girl is doing. I just think your approach would make or break it all. If someone were to approach me, I wouldn't mind at all, but I don't get really too offended easily especially if I know it is the truth. Chances are, this girl's mom knows she has an eating problem. I'm sure she's not just overeating on Sunday's. But then again, maybe it runs in the family and if you did say something, it may not go well. In my family, only my son is overweight, not my other kids nor my husband or I. The doctors have told me it is just genetic. But for me personally, I would want to know because it is not healthy and we try and work with our son about being healthy and making right choices for himself.
Here's a though, how about letting the person in charge on Sunday be aware and then he/she can remind the kids to only take 1 donut each, that way everyone can get enjoy them.
On the panhandling subject...
I used to live in SLC. Apparently you have to buy a license to panhandle up there. Funny thing is, some of those guys make more money doing that than I do.
Well, DH and I debated with her on this subject
I told her I wished she had not even brought it up, but we told her we appreciated the fact that she felt comfortable enough to tell us. We also figured that she could go do it without telling us and I would rather her feel like she could tell us than lie to us and do it anyway.
Then we realized in a few months she will be gone to college and we will not know what she is doing.
This was just one thing I didn't want to have to say yes to, so I made DH make the decision! LOL! I told him it would be on him if anything happened. (I've always been the "yes" or "no" parent all these years, so I figured it was only fair he have to do it at least once while she was still living at home!)
She is spending the night and it is only 3 people going to be there and we told her under no circumstances is she to leave in her car or with anyone else that is driving. (Her big thing about people drinking is that she thinks they should never drive). If things get out of hand, she is to call us and we will come pick her up.
Now, I am torn between hoping she gets sick so she will never want to do it again (although that never stopped me back in the day) or hoping she is sensible enough to only have a drink or 2 and stop.
It just isn't fun being a parent. I still don't like that she is doing this. I don't like it at all!
on subject of divorce reasons
Mine:
1. He cheated on me with EVERYBODY he could.
2. He was a control freak, didnt work, took all my money and hit me.
His:
1. she cheated on him.
2. She was a control freak and all she wanted him for was his money. When he changed from a high paying, high stress job to a lower pay but much lower stress job, she left.
Is it any wonder that either one of us wants anything to do with anybody else?
I saw all the posts on this subject yesterday too, --sm
and usually if the moderator moves a thread, there is an arrow showing that, or sometimes an explanation as to why something was eliminated. Sometimes if someone mentions a specific name or area, a thread might be removed, but she usually explains that. Maybe something went wrong with the system. Perhaps she will explain later when she sees this. I don't think it was placed on the *wrong board*. But congrats to the new parents!!!
Slightly off the subject but this reminds me
of the headlines about the poor woman laying on the ER floor in California vomiting blood and dying and not having anyone pay any attention to her! How disgusting is that!!!!
On the subject of hair color... (sm)
Not to hijack your post, but does anyone know what will easily remove hair color from the skin? My hairstyle is very short and I always end up with color stains on my neck, ears and forehead. The remover they use in the salon doesn't do a good job. I've tried alcohol, shampoo, and even a Shout wipe! Any other suggestions?
Since we are posted on a subject I dearly luv!!!
Sex/cooking. I just made the most delicious Rachel Ray Recipe.. Chorizo-Hominy & etal...Stoup plus a few of my own concoctions. Served it hot & piping with cheese and chicken quesadillas...(CAT, this chicken from those last 3 recipes I boasted about...Have used it all) Excuse pleez, this was well received by the entire family, teenager, preteenager, dieting daughter, hungry husband, sweet son-in-law and handsome G-Q house guest from Brazil....
This is a personal subject between him and his wife.
First, I hardly think affairs are only a NY thing. Do you know all of NY office holders? If you believe stats, most American adults have had an affair. I don't think that necessarily makes a person not decent, it just means they're human and had a failing. Personally, I'm tired of God complexes in Government.
This is a personal subject between him and his wife. I wonder how many of us could live up to the scrutiny heaped upon politicians. I KNOW I couldn't. I've made mistakes too.
regarding the subject of deers being kept as pets - sm
I just talked with several people at the wildlife offices and game law enforcement. There is nothing they can do if the owners are allowing the deer to roam around as a wild deer would and are taking care of it, which they are. They said there is not enough money in their budget to relocate this deer to another area. This deer was again standing in my pansies eating away yesterday with deer repellent on there. They also told me I was one of many who have called as of late. Really, really annoyed and frustrated that this is the best the state of AL can do (no, I am not FROM here, just ended up here). 
A gross subject, but I gotta ask --
My son is 11 and the last few days has had a few "wet farts" -- there's no color to it, but enough to soak through his jeans. He didn't even notice it, said he didn't feel wet, but we noticed it and so did another child at school. At first, I thought he just sat in something wet, but when he came home from school with it, I took a second look at his jeans and noticed the position of it was more in line with "an accident." He says he doesn't remember passing gas. There's a slight discoloration to it and a slight odor.
I've never had this happen to me personally except when I was getting over diarrhea. Has anyone else had this happen without being sick? Any ideas on what could be causing it? I'm hoping it's not a rectocele or IBS.
found this on google, there's a lot there about this subject...
Yes, closing a credit card will hurt your credit, since you will no longer have the benefit of that available established credit history.
However, since it is "a must" that you are going to close it, it doesn't really matter what the effect will be, so don't second guess yourself to death. BTW, it will be minimal, especially over the long run.
It is better to leave it open so that will give you a longer credit history, rather than closing one and opening another. The new one is not going to establish credit.
i read that over in the subject & I thought..
everyone is going to think I was 46 when I started having kids.. lol.. I was young when I started having kids.. if I was told I was pregnant now, OMGosh.. I WOULD lose my mind..
A story similar to the subject line
I work with a woman whose husband makes a fraction of what she makes - but that is only because she has no choice but to work as much OT as possible to keep up with his spending. He is constantly buying on whims, laptops, toys that men like, one day he came home with a brand new 25,000 truck that he didn't even talk to her about. She is now 68 years old and has no savings whatsoever. She had to buy their land and the mobile home on it as his credit was shot (bankruptcy) and so, since it is in her name, he doesn't do a thing around the property. It is in desperate need of repair. The repairs come when things come crashing down at outrageously high expense.
And when she confronts him, he goes ballistic on her, throwing things, screaming at her until she turns into a diminutive little girl again, only wanting him to be happy and so, she stays quiet.
This is so sad. She couldn't retire if she wanted to.
She has put up with this for over 20 years so it will never change.
I'd suggest getting a grip on this now with some counseling before you end up in her shoes. Please try to make him realize he has a personality flaw and that having you in his life is keeping him from ending up with nothing and that, in fact, you are a Godsend.
that person did not post on your last subject (ice cream)....
nm
Did I miss a previous post on this subject somewhere
or is this just kinda bizarre?
Oops - got my name and subject line mixed up above
Guess its time to call it quits. :-) The two are backwards.
Off subject - Many insurance companie won't insure - sm
your home for certain breeds, Pitbulls and Rotweilers are two of them, also Siberian Huskies and German shepards in others. I have had huskys for years and they are the friendliest dogs in the world though they look fierce since they closely resemble wolves and are probably the closest domesticated dog to a wolf. It is unfair to the breed to mark it as dangerous because of its looks. My dog does get aggressive around other dogs but he is the Alpha male here, but with people he is just fine. I have the only husky in the world that does not bark or howl, he "talks" on rare occasion. The breed doesn't usually don't bark much as it is, but they love to howl. We have another dog but a female lab and the two of them are fine together. While I like pitbulls and I have known a few to be very good dogs, I will always be on my guard around them as you never know what might trigger it to become aggressive. Dogs can feel threatened over the such little things and cause such heartbreak in the process.
I am the original poster on this subject. See message.
When this stuff first happened I was much younger and I did not find out anything about it until after the birth of my second daughter. That is when my sisters first tried to say something. At the time I had two little girls and not much reason to trust my sisters back then for reasons that I won't go into. I did what I thought was best for my little girls at that time, but throughout all these years there has always been an uneasy feeling about the whole situation. I just chose to bury it and I take full responsibility for that.
Now, I have finally gotten to a point in my life where I am confident enough to be able to handle the truth and because of some other problems, this subject resurfaced and I chose to ask my sisters to tell me the truth of what happened. They told me and now I am left with a big decision to make.
I have no reason to believe he has done anything like that since, but I don't know that for sure. He has been a controlling force in this marriage, but at the same time a hard worker who has taken care of our family with me.
I guess I'm trying to justify what I am feeling now and trying to make myself feel better about wanting to end the marriage.
Thank you everyone for all the good advice. I do appreciate it.
Now I think this subject is taking a totally different turn. Where is your sense of
personal responsibility? You can change things about yourself if you truly want to. Trust me. This is coming from a formerly abused, abandoned woman who was left in foster care and turned her life around for the better. My children are my main motivation.
You sound like you have a real problem with someone taking personal responsibility for themselves and blaming the "just because that is the way I am" approach, which I obviously do not believe in because if I did, then I would be a has been, still on the streets, where I was left 20 years ago. Give me a break.
She didn't say "who" in the subject line, only "he"...sm
with Sanjaya being not the only guy left the "he" could have been any of the guys.
Only my mother. Great books about subject out there thankfully.
// it helped for me to realize she had a personality type and she was not just selfish and uncaring - the combination of things described really helped me to understand her - and avoid her at all costs!
That's kind of intrusive. The subject is Design Star
Start your own thread.
On the subject of fault. Dont read if easily
If my opinion upsets someone, I think it is their "fault" (for lack of a better word) if they get upset. Everyone owns their own feelings and should not let someone else's opinion have so much power over how they feel. As far as lemmings and masses, those are generalities, a comment on society as a whole, not aimed at any one person.
I am sorry if my opinions have so much influence over others. I will try to keep my thoughts in check.
I put *warning, graphic* in the subject field, but apparently it didn't show up. nm
n
I should mention that I am 42, have 2 children and done with having children. nm
nm
You must a) not have children or b) your children are young
I don’t see them as being spoiled- I see lots of kids in the age group of one (30+) who are totally in the me scene, not just the 1 I have- she married and her husband same - a me type person. The other not spoiled but just got nasty when he did not get the money left to me and he thought he should. Just to think, this was my chosen 1 if I had to choose. Oh well, live and let live is the way I see things now.
she said *he definitely does not want more children*
but she said that HE definitely does not want anymore children...that's what the OP said so I responded based on that *fact*.... 
I am so sorry!! I have 4 children myself
30, 28, 24 and 17 - and can honestly say that we have gone through periods like this before - it is usally something really silly that gets all blown up - a misunderstanding, etc. Enjoy your birthday to its fullest - send a gift/card to your granddaughter as you normally would and go about your business with no bitterness - it will all work out - they will be back to you soon - really! :)
Yes, and then only if there are no children.
Sorry, but tobacco is a dastardly substance that people need protection from IMO.
Does she have children. If so, what are
xx
I have 2 children of my own,
starting with K. This is my sil who is having the baby and she has 3 children already and has run out of K names. So, I thought I would give her a hand. Thanks for your suggestions!! I am passing them on.
All children are different
it seems to me you keep comparing your 19-year-old to your 21-year-old. Since they are two separate people, they should be treated as such. Times are a changing. I'm sure it does worry you, but if she's off to college, she is probably staying out late there too.
both my children do just that and they are
both well-rounded, well-behaved, straight A students. Children have to live in this world and we as parents have to love and teach them. I know I am not the exception.
Whether having children or not is, without SM
question,your own choice, but you come across as very cynical. Perhaps you are watching too much TV or listening to talk radio. Things are not that bad. Oh sure, there is too much media attention given to Britney Spears, but most young girls, with the proper guidance, don't want to be her. There is a challange to motherhood, but most of us meet it very well.
Children & TV
How many hours a day/week do you let your children watch TV? Do they have TV's in their room? If so how do you monitor (or do you monitor) what they watch?
Have you ever banned certain shows from your house? What do you think about all those "sassy" shows on Nickelodean and Cartoon Network, like "Zach and Cody," or "Drake and Josh" or "Hannah Montana?"
I'm thinking of changing the TV rules and want to know what you all do with your kids.
Is this only to children that you know and
the parents know who the treat is from. We used to give out special home-made treats but always with a note saying who it was from. Now our neighborhood has grown so much we have a lot of children that don't live in the area. I don't want to give out something to someone and then their parents not let them eat it.
23 and 25 and like your children
my of my kids friends have older parents. All the kids like to hang out at our house because we "seem so much cooler" than their parents. Believe me, nothing goes on in this house that shouldn't. We just always have lots of junk food in the freezer, don't mind the music up loud, and love to just sit and chat with the kids. Last night one of my son's friends was picking him up to go to youth and she was early so we talked while he got ready. When it was time to go she said she didn't want to leave. It was really sweet.
Do you have children? LOL! sm
Meant that becasue I have a friend that says she has "brain damage cuz she has kids". I have a book that is titled "If questions for the soul". Not all questions are religious but most are. I had another one that was the same but not religious ? and loaned it to a friend. We often have these books in the car on family road trips. Really gets the family talking.
My children, now 26 and 25, are right there with yours. My
son works in retail (grocery store) and buys his jeans to wear to work at the thrift store. None of us mind wearing thrift store clothes. We tend to shop clearance racks and sales. They are not particular about the brand of clothing they wear (I never was either) so long as they fit and are comfortable. I'm really glad mine don't feel the need to compete with everybody else and spend everything they make trying to keep up with others. 
Since I do not know you or your children, sm
I can not tell you the effects it will have on them--but, do not think for a minute they do not know about and cannot feel the stress and fear you are dealing with.
For me, it was best for me and my children to have a peaceful, happy home than to live one more day like we had been. This is a personal choice and for us, I made the right one. Good luck to you.
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