But that philosophy doesn't work unless
Posted By: another mom of a daughter on 2008-07-18
In Reply to: Yes I have children - Shana
practiced from the beginning. You can't expect a child who has been virtually allowed to make no decisions from the get-to to be capable of making them later.
I completely agree with your philosophy, but I think at this stage in the OP's situation, it may be too late for that.
I actually insisted my daughter make her own decisions since she was able to communicate. Of course, you don't let them run out in the street if they want, but I taught her right wrong, guided her (which included punishment guidelines for inappropriate behavior), and gave her my opinions, but for the most part, she was in control.
When they're able to make the little decisions (like the example you gave) when they're young, they are more equipped to graduate into the more important decisions down the road.
My DD is 21 now and I feel like the luckiest mom in the world because other than just menial, normal things/stressors, she's really been just a wonderful child.
I'm not saying I'm mom of the year because I do believe in the 'bad seed' theory and I just think she'd have turned out good if the wolves had raised her, but I do believe she has a certain confidence in herself that is a result of being able to make choices and suffering the consequences or reaping the benefits.
I've gone on way too long, but I just wanted to say that I totally agree with your post and even though every child is different, they do need to learn how to make decisions, just like they learn how to talk. But you can't throw it at them all of the sudden... jmo ;-)
Just want to say one more thing. I've know many kids there were raised 'do it my way or no way' and just about every one of them are the worst behaved kids outside of the presence of their parents. And what's really bad is they're sneaky about it. They've mastered how to get away with things because they have to... and that's dangerous...
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It doesn't always work that way though - some give but it doesn't come back like that nm
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Yes - does not work! Hoax if you ask me. MetaboLife doesn't work either.
The only thing that works for me is exercise and eating correctly! No quick fix, unfortunately.
Why doesn't your son work? (sm)
I understand with all those children it may not even be worth it for the mom to work (child care would take all her earnings) but why doesn't your son work? Sounds like my sister. She has been living off of my parents for years.
Link doesn't work...
Try this one
www.shanibooks.com
Thanks!
No...old XB works in new 360 but new doesn't work in old XB.
Hope that answers your question.
PPS! (And if Prozac doesn't work for the cat, - sm
then maybe I'll just cut my losses and take the Prozac myself. I'll need it by then!
Maybe it doesn't work for everyone, but it can happen
Don't let this poster discourage you. Maybe that's her experience, but but it can be done. My sister-in-law and her ex-husband (as well as my sister-in-law's current husband) are all friends. Even though they've been divorced for years, my kids still call him Uncle Tom and he is invited to all family parties and always spends the holidays with us.
Timeline doesn't work
The time line on this supposed event doesn't work. She finished the play and immediately boarded a jet for Cali = even on a private jet we're talking a 5 hour flight. She was photographed with Tom in Cali that night. Where in the world would she have had time to go to this detox center?
I now have spent WAY too much time on this really goofy topic.
don't worry - laser doesn't always work
I would not recommend laser to anyone. I spent thousands on it for my daughter who has hair growing in many places that it should not - she started shaving her arms - which has taken care of the situation - she uses a man's razor - which cuts much closer than the women's do. It is a hassel when she does it - but it stays smooth for a longer period of time than cream hair removers, bleaching, etc.
There's a lot of talk about DE, but the fact is, it doesn't work.
I base this on my own experience. What does work, is this...
First, mow as directed. Apply a formulation of horticultural oil and water. If you don't know what to use ask your nursery or farm supply sote, also called 'dormant' oil. The same stuff you spray on your fruit trees in the Spring. Use the "summer" formulation, some soap (like dawn) may also be added as a 'spreader'. Spray at the reccomeded rate. Try to do this on a cloudy day or in the evening. Burning of foliage may occur, especially if it has been hot and dry. Do a small test spot if you are unsure and adjust accordingly. The oil (and/or soap) will smother the mites and severly limit numbers available for reproduction.
You can also use sulfur dust (aka flowers of sulfur). Use the recommended rate. The action here is that sulfor dioxide (SO2) is formed by oxidation in the presence of sunlight and kills the pest. The sulfur will also kill other insects, possibly the beneficials as well. Do not, and I repeat DO NOT use oil and sulfur at the same time , that is unless you want to kill everything. But, if you do that is a great way to go about it, much better than defoliants.
Best of luck
Exactly, he doesn't have to work so I've assigned him the job of Mr. Mom...
It works for us. I didn't realize how much he did for me with all the errand running etc until he hurt his foot once..I was exhausted trying to do his jobs and mine too. That is when I learned to appreciate what I had. I can't remember now what it was like being a single parent and how I did it. It is hard work.. and don't you think I haven't said a prayer every day to God for bringing me my guardian angel. He has changed my life 100%. I was the one on an earlier post who told of my abusive prior marriage so I paid my dues and this is what I was blessed with.
PS - Don't you remember Prohibition? It doesn't work. nm
.
Though it doesn't work for everyone, feverfew can often be helpful. sm
It won't stop a migraine in progress, or lessen its severity, but when taken on a regular basis (and generally after taking it for a period of time) many (including me) feel that it dramatically reduced the number of migraines one gets.
You could check Amazon.com if copying doesn't work. nm
nm
I have been told that pepper spray doesn't always work
She probably could benefit from self-defence classes as well.
Oops..you actually need to surround the key in a blob of the silicone so it doesn't work loose.
s
Hey, have at it. If you want a lazy, apathetic, not affectionate, doesn't listen, doesn't make
can reach him!!! Let me know if you're interested.
It doesn't make me mad but it doesn't sound intelligent either (sm)
I am sure if all of those people who were aborted were living, some would be good and some would be bad, in the same proportion as there is good to bad now. Your statement makes no sense. So somehow the babies who were aborted were meant to be aborted because they were bad seeds? Whatever. Sorry, that's just silly.
You dont work for them, you work for YOU. If you
x
I TRIED to work, WANTED to work, but
So now I have to scramble for the rest of the week, trying to catch up on what I didn't do today. And of course, working today was in hopes of catching up on whatI didn't do last week. This job is a never-ending hamster-wheel of lunacy.
That actually doesn't look that bad!
I love pork especially at a pig roast...by the end of the day the meat just falls off the bones it is so tender. Doesn't look too terrifying!
Doesn't take much to get you going does it? nm
x
If a dog doesn't have anything
to do, he will occupy himself. His thing is barking, which isn't fair to the neighbors. I had a neighbor who'd let his laborador bark for hours on end while I was trying to work. Almost drove me insane. To catch a break I'd occasionally take a rawhide, stuff all the cracks with peanut butter, and throw it over the fence. Ah, blessed peace for a while.
Cesar Millan has a website. I'm sure you can get lots of ideas there. It's all about exercise, discipline and then affection. You have to communicate your leadership and also use up his energy and teach him what it is you expect of him.
Why doesn't she get her own
It sounds to me like she wants you to pay her bills. She'll have to find a job and get a roommate like any one of us would. Why should you compromise what you have with your boyfriend when she'll be coming age very soon and can be out on her own? Let her know she's welcome to visit or whatever, but you'd rather see her pursue her own living quarters. 
That is my mom, she just doesn't get
it. She also thinks it is because of my husband. Nobody is good enough for me. Doesn't matter who it is. She has been telling everyone it is because she will not lend us money. My husband and I both work our butts off and have never borrowed money from anyone but the bank.
My brother and I have not been the closest and about two weeks ago, I called him. I now believe that a lot of reason why we are not close is due to my mother. He is four years younger and I was out of the house by the time he was 13. I always got my mother's point of view of what was going on with him and I should have known better. She told me he doesn't talk to her because she won't lend him money. He and I thought we didn't have a lot in common, so most of the communication was between him and my mom, then mom would "tell" me. He doesn't want her to see his son either, but being that he is divorced, his ex-wife allows her to see him. He said that she was always intervening in his life, no matter what it was. She kicked him out of her home when he was 15 and he has never looked back. He now has his PhD as a recent graduate and is very successful. We both believe it is a control issue with her.
That leads to this, I have researched grandparents rights as well. In Michigan, as long as the parents are married and fit parents, grandparents have no rights. If you were never married, separated or divorced or worse yet, proved to be unfit, then they have rights to see the children. Something to think about.
He doesn't like going out...
im at a loss because I am a social butterfly and I want the man that I love with me all the time. Don't get me wrong i LOVE my girls nights out, but I want him there sometimes. I think this is one of the main issues holding me back from getting married. I do respect that he doesn't like to dance, or go to bars... but he doesn't even like to go to my friend's houses... He is a little on the shy side and I have been with him 6 years (and we have known each other since we were in 7th grade - about 15 years-, lived down the street from each other...) And I can't see myself without him but I know this is keeping me from marrying him because I want that socialization. Even when we have a family I almost am positive I am going to want to have friends over with their kids... bbq's in the summer... stuff like that and he just isn't like me at all in that way. How do I deal with this? Oh yea even if he is willing to compromise I feel like he hates it though and that is still really hard for me to deal with. If he is just sitting there not having fun that's almost worse than him not coming at all... :( we are at a crossroads right now and that is why i am asking. we either stay together or dont...
I think the same way - if the OP doesn't
like the smoke, then she'd best look elsewhere. It's not fair to say "smoke outside" when they are paying the rent, too. Some people just amaze me!
mine doesn't...
I make Paula Deen's southern cornbread dressing...go to Food Network's site and look up the recipe. It's yummy, has no meat whatsoever, and makes a ton of dressing...HAPPY HOLIDAYS...
My mother's doesn't either...
Made with Pepperidge farm stuffing mix, white wine, mushrooms, celery, onions, chopped walnuts, seasoning. Not sure what else but it's different and delicious, still the best I've ever had!
Doesn't sound right
under those circumstances. Then whenever someone wanted new wall-to-wall they could just crap it up themselves and submit a claim and get a new rug.
At any rate, even if this is somehow true, the insurance company will only jack up your rate or drop you all together, so you're going to pay either way. And then you'll have a claim history and no other company will want you either.
I agree, it's more than just pot. Pot doesn't do that. sm
I have heard that taking Niacin helps clear out of your system faster as well as trying to "sweat" it out like he is. He also needs plenty of sunshine and you to be there for him. Rather than turning against him, stuck together with him and help him through it. It will make your relationship so much better in the long run and he needs the love and support of you to help him get to that place. Admire him for trying to break his addiction. It is very addicting. His rollercoaster of sweating, can't sleep, and emotional issues sound more related to crack/crank or methampetamines to me. I'd tell him in order for you to be supportive and helpful to him right now, he needs to at least be honest with you.
I can't tell the difference when something has MSG and when it doesn't. nm
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I am not saying my hubby doesn't look
he just doesn't let me see him looking. Hey, I still look too.
He doesn't like the masks...
my DD has taken over the mask and my kids like to sleep with fans now too. I just turn them off before I go to bed.
She doesn't impress me though
Just something about her... She's like never smiling. Even when he gave her a rose last night, she just looks mad. Could just be the editing.. maybe there's something about her he does like. I think he might like Tessa... and Amber. I can't believe I let myself get into this show again.
With our experience, he doesn't need
We have bought several homes and I have been an IC MT the entire time. I have never had this ask of me. They just want to know what my income has been, as they know being self-employed can mean different amounts from paycheck to paycheck. Of course, if your husband is empoyed somewhere, they will put more thought into that
(they just don't say it). I had loan officers just start talking to my husband as if I'm not in the room just because they hear self-employed and know my husband is not....so they think he'll be the REAL one bringing in a paycheck. So, my husband brings them back in the game, as do I. We let them know both of our checks contribute to this mortgage, not just his. I've noticed the women loan officers are the worst with this, even though you would think they wouldn't be. We both have excellent credit scores and make sure this is the valid point we get across. Just make sure you are not overlooked as being an essential element in this deal. Generally, all the loan officer can go by is what you have made in the past few years, not what you may make in the future as an IC, because as an IC, you may not know what that paycheck will bring or if you'll even be with the same company 6 months from now. But again, I have never had this asked of me.
It all has to start somewhere doesn't it?
xx
But that doesn't apply to every
situation. In my case I got hit with something that was out of my control. I see where you are coming from because most times it is irresponsible spending and debt accruing that causes the problem but not always.
My mom doesn't like when mine rub against her, either
and she doesn't like that the neighbor cats in the development kill the birds at their feeders and also the baby rabbits. I don't especially like that aspect about them either (our 2 stay in the house 24/7) but it comes in handy in the house when we have a mouse. I know of people who go out of their way to hit a cat on the road and I think that is so disgusting. Makes me sad because of how much I love my cats.
What is funny though is that my male cat gravitates to my mother whenever she is here. He will just sit by her chair and stare at her with his big, golden, unblinking eyes. It really freaks her out!
He doesn't really look like he has aged all that much
in the last 10 years or so. I think he looks almost exactly the same as he did way back in his ER days!
Ugh, doesn't sound
too fun! Don't want to go to the hospital. That's why I figure it's past time to quit. My son is scared of me dying anyway. I told my husband no need in making his fear come true!
It doesn't look sore, red or anything. Just
xx
How do you know he doesn’t like you/kids
You said he kept things under wrap. Your mother should not have to choose between you/your children and her husband. How old a person is he? Other things going on with him/them that you know of? Lot of people in older years PUT UP with children- that does not mean they want to be around them. I know you said you did not stay at the home with them. Do not ask your mother to choose, though. That is probably the reason she has not answered you. You as well as your siblings probably picked the ones you want and may not believe this but if left up to your mother and she had to choose, it might not be you and your family.
Thank goodness he doesn't eat
anything in front of the window, he just swoops, grabs and goes. He uses my front yard as sort of a "drive thru" I guess. He is a very pretty and majestic bird. I've tried to get pics of him, but my camera doesn't zoom far enough.
We also have Great Horned Owls that live in our pine trees out back. All through the summer I would hear them hooting. So I staked out the window one night so I could maybe get a peak at them and I actually saw one of them fly out of the tree, it was huge!
I just feel bad for my little feathered friends. I guess that's nature though.
Sorry for rambling, love to talk about my nature.
Doesn't bother me
For some women it takes more than soap and water. Not a biggie.
Doesn't bother me at all either
Some people need it. It's really no big deal.
Doesn't everybody use foil now?
I have never seen the other process done; just heard about it. I'm sure the foil is less physically stressful to the hair.
I bet the OP doesn't consider it "nothing."
x
No, doesn't take masses...just 1.
I think you're thinking of the voting thing...I'm talking about the straight up report now button.
I think you are the one who doesn't "get it"
There are a lot of things wrong in this world, causing our kids to be messed up.
I think taking religion out of schools is really low on the list, and I can't believe you have convinced yourself that is THE reason. No, actually I can believe it. Religion causes people to be irrational. The middle east is proof of that.
If David A doesn't win, then there is something
definitely wrong. The young man has "perfect pitch" -- an accomplishment which only approximately an elite 1,000 people possess in the US and Europe. Definite childhood prodigy if I have ever heard one.
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