Boy can i relate!
Posted By: ginny on 2008-07-09
In Reply to: Ever have one of those days - Tired, tired, tired
I had a day like that last Wednesday and I thought the day would never end. PLUS my ShortHand had bit the dust and I was trying to type everything which was a pain. But, the good news is, the next day was much better! Good luck!!
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I seem to relate
the most to tanmamma's post. I too married very young. 1975 was a whirlwind year for me. I turned 16 on 03/31, married on 04/12, and had my first child on 07/26! I know I made the choices, and other than having a wonderful son, if I could go back and live my life again I would not make the same choices. Then my husband and I really never developed a relationship because he was very young as well, and worked his butt off to provide for us. I could not ask for a better provider. However, five years ago when he had the affair, not just an affair, but an emotional affair, is when my world came tumbling down. I have a lot of anger and resentment regarding this along with hurt and feeling betrayed, in that he gave her exactly what I had wanted from him all of our married life - - his time, his listening ear. I don't know -- I know that I need to make changes in my life or I am just going to scream. I have two wonderful children (ages 33 and 26), a wonderful daughter-in-law and granddaughter. I sometimes thing that I am being totally unrational and selfish, but I just feel that I need something for me - -
Again, thanks for letting me vent and express my feelings. Expressing my feelings is something that I really have never done. It just causes chaos in my marriage.
I can so relate to this...
I never thought a job would wear me down so much, and I am fairly new to all this. To think of the ladies who have been doing this for 20+ years...I would go crazy.
I am looking into starting school this fall myself. I could make double what I do now and still need to find something different. I need a change, seriously.
Wow can I relate
Started getting the menstrual migraines about 6 years ago. I'm in perimenopause now and while I'm now getting the headaches every 3 weeks instead of the usual every 4, the last 3 were less severe. Mine always run 24 hours down to the hour exactly and yes, I can tell as soon as I wake up in the morning if it's going to be a migraine day and then I have about 3 hours to get things done because at some point I'll be going to bed for the day. And it's not only the pain, it's the nausea, the flu-like feeling, the pain in the base of the skull, the whole putrid works. I am allergic to Tylenol and try acetaminophen and aspirin but have to keep changing the type I take because after a while I start to associate the smell and taste of the meds so strongly with the migraine and I get a revulsion just looking at and smelling the meds. Kind of like Pavlov and his dogs!!
Anyway, the last 3 headaches I was actually able to keep at bay with OTC meds and was able to be up and about...it wasn't pleasant but was way better than usual. So I've got my fingers crossed. This perimenopause thing was heck for about 6 months and now has been better so I am hoping I am almost through.....
The first OP I can relate to.....the other one should
xx
I can relate with you!! sm
It's so nice to hear other peoples experience. Not that I'm happy you feel you have an eating issue, but I try to explain how I feel to my hubby, and he tries to be supportive, but he just doesn't understand. He has never had weight issues. I honestly think you have to be in the situation to understand fully. Just like a guy wouldn't understand how it feels to be pregnant. (Which I loved being pregnant with my boys). I gained so much weight with my kids, but I got back down to my pre-pregnancy weight, but still need to lose some. My left lower leg has varicose veins really bad, to the point my leg is warm all the time, it aches and swells up some (not a whole lot, but it will get tight feeling). When I went on NS last year, my leg felt better. I appreciate your story! Maybe the moderator can fix us up a weight board and we can all support each other!!
I can relate
I'm in the same boat! I love my husband VERY much, but I feel the same as you. I started cracking up when you mentioned talking about the dogs..LOL!! In the mornings, we will sit on the couch with our coffee and have nothing to say to each other, so we watch the dogs run around. My husband has NO friends or hobbies. Some of you say to make a date once a week. Well, we have done that. We go out to eat, talk about nothing and then I regret paying the money for food I didn't want anyway. My husband likes to watch movies, so most of the time we have a date to go to Blockbuster to rent a movie. I lose myself in other peoples lives by watching a movie. I'm 37 years old and feel like I'm 87. My husband doesn't know I feel this way and I'm certainly not looking for a new one. I am happy and feel content and loved, but boy do I wish there was a spark and romance instead of feeling like I have a roommate! I joined a gym just to do something for myself. Well my husband has to go too now. Now, every morning I hear, 'hey got your workout shoes on.' Arrgghhh! I just wanted to go when I wanted to go, not be obligated to go at 7 am every morning, but I smile and go. I've been alone before, lived in my own house by myself for 7 years and I felt much more alive than I do now. I have no advice, but it's nice to vent once in awhile :)
Can relate to some of this
I had tummy tuck, face lift, arm lift, but have never done acid, this came in after first married, not into Jimi Hendrix nor Woodstock, not the Beatles. I believe in maintenance and keeping up with how I feel on the inside. Believe me, it takes no time to get from your 20s to the 50s, 60s, just such a short time. I have always enjoyed my time here on this earth and it just gets better. Thanks for the YT.
I can relate!
Living and working in the greater New Orleans and having experienced Katrina first hand (yes, I'm one of the morons who stayed) this really made me chuckle! 
I can relate to your situation...
My boyfriend and I have lived together for several years. He's a web developer and I'm an MT. We both work at home. Anyway, we did very little w/his family until this past year and now we've taken on (or been thrown into) a whole new role as caretakers for his mother.
My boyfriend's mother had two massive strokes back in the spring. She, too, had not been to a doctor in years and insurance was a big worry at first. The business department at the hospital made sure that they were going to get their money; hence, the Medicaid, Medicare process was started (thank goodness)!
The docs told us that she would never again walk, talk, feed herself, go to the bathroom alone -- you get the picture. We were looking at having to take care of her every single need and, of course, guess who was going to be the ones to "volunteer" do it? That's right... the ones who "work" from home!!! The least qualified!! Her children said, "I can't put mommy in a nursing home"!!! Where are they now? Not here! Man, they ran like scared wimps after they turned the task over to us! Oh, at first they promised to help, but that's not been the case at all.
In the beginning, my boyfriend did not see the big picture either. It being "his mother" and he was going to take care of her. However, when he realized that there may very well be bathroom trips and baths to assist with and that I REFUSED to do it (IOW, HE would have to do it) well, he changed his tune and started listening to me in regards to (1) getting her quality healthcare treatment with folks trained in rehabilitation so that she could at least have some quality of life (I was in no way qualified for this), and (2) checking out all our options.
This entire ordeal has put a great strain on our relationship and my relationship with other family members who only come around when they want something. I won't go there... LOL
Anyway, YES, there are options and these options are for HER best interest, whether she or any other family member may disagree. For her to recover, it's essential that she get all the help she can get -- all that Medicaid/Medicare will pay for -- all the rehabilitation she can get because it's worth every minute of it!
My boyfriend's mother went through very intense, structured rehabilitation programs with some well-trained PTs, OTs, and STs. She can walk, talk, feed herself now and go to the bathroom.
It's very difficult at first but, it's really in her very best interest and you'll all regret if you do not seek the care that she needs from qualified caretakers who can handle these things.
Not only that, it's completely selfish for your MIL, your hubby, and any family member to not demand this treatment that is very much needed and very available!
My boyfriend's mother stayed in the hospital for four weeks and then was in rehab for a another three weeks and believe me, it was worth every single second!
She still goes to speech therapy and, believe it or not, she loves it! She actually enjoyed her stay in the rehabilitation unit.
Good luck and let us know how it goes!
I can relate --same situation. sm
My daughter goes to college out of state in New England and does not get any financial aid, which makes no sense because when my other daughter was in college at the same time she got financial aid for a private college she was going to. Any scholarships that are available are only for Massachusetts residents. This college charges for every little thing. If she wants to join the gym, an extra $100.00. She told me she needs to move in one day earlier for Soriety business and it will cost an extra $100.00 to move in one day earlier. She thinks it is senseless also and tell them she won't be coming a day early.
If you have outside health insurance you can probably have that charge dropped. We declined the colleges health insurance at $1,0000 a semester.
I feel bad that my girls have a lot of student loans to pay back but we are not wealthy at all. We live in our means. There is no way we can come up with $25,000 a year for college.
oooh I can relate
I have about a 11 yo Shih Tzu, he is a grumpy old man. He has quite a variety of noises - groans, little whines, shrill barks, etc. Very expressive. Now I am working at home again (past 2 months) after 6 years out and he is so happy to sit by side of my desk. But I am in the basement and he has a hard time with stairs (short little legs) so he whines at the top of the stairs, until someone is "watching him" before he begins to go down.
I have 3 boys, so I can somewhat relate
It seems I can take privileges away from my oldest and it works very well. My younger one, however, doesn't seem to care. What does bother him is sitting on time-out. I read a few books and they say the length of the timeout should be equal to the age - 5 years old then 5-minute timeout. This frustrates him more because he likes to be in control and when I put him on timeout, he has no control. I usually sit him at the dining room chair - no TV, no toys. I use the timer on the microwave, so he can hear it when he beeps. He knows to push the chair in when he gets up. If he does something shortly thereafter, I double the length of the timeout. A few times of this and eventually they catch on.
As for harming the dogs, I would probably keep them in a certain area of the house where I could see them. At least then you know if he's doing something to them and hopefully can stop him before he really hurts them.
As tempting as it is, name-calling will not teach your child anything but name-calling. Taunting him with this is probably not a good idea. If he continues to lie, I would continue to put him on timeout or take away privileges depending on the extent of the lie and the circumstances.
I know it's hard, but consistency is the key. Eventually, he will learn. It just takes some kids longer than others.
I can relate to your situation. sm
I'm not interested in back surgery either, except as a last resort. I have "mild" scoliosis (mild as in not severe enough for a brace or surgery, but certainly not mild in the amount of back pain it's caused).
I've had low back back since I was a teenager, but about 8 years ago (when I was about 34) it started getting worse. It got to the point where the pain was so bad I couldn't stand or walk for more than a few minutes w/o needing to sit down. I tried a lot of things (chiropractor, muscle relaxers, TENS unit, PT exercises which I did religiously but they made almost no difference, heat packs, hot baths, Vicodin when the pain was really bad). I was taking a lot of ibuprofen every day and still needed a back brace to do much of anything (house work, grocery shopping, etc.) w/o being in debilitating pain. I have muscle spasms and now have bulging disks pressing on nerves. The muscle spasms are bad enough, but the nerve pain? OMG.
I finally got referred to a pain mgmt doctor. Just yesterday, I got my first facet joint injections with steroids (Depo-Medrol). I was skeptical it would work, but I woke up today for the first time in years with NO back pain. None. I didn't need to take any ibuprofen. I'm astounded. Now, I don't know how long the relief will last because it's different for everyone. It might last a few weeks or a few months, but I'm loving it so far! Just wanted to share my experience. Depending on your back problems, it might be worth looking into pain mgmt? Good luck!
I can relate to several things...
I love working from home, having no commute, being here for my kids. The flexibility used to be good but that has gone down the tube as well as the $ cut and off shoring.
The thought of ever having to go back to an office and deal with petty politics and cat fight nonsense makes me sick. If I can find a job that is not related so much with people but just computers, I think that will be my idea job. I, too, tend to not mix well with people (or rather I should say they don't play well with me...because I don't play...I'm usually too much of a work-a-holic type personality). My extent of socializing is pretty much church people too.
Well, I have 7 years to squeeze 2 more years of college in for a Bachelor's Degree. I just need to pray about what major I should go for.
For me change gets scarier the older I get.
Thanks for sharing!
I can surely relate! Families can be so --sm
cruel sometimes. I really think that they don't even think about how their actions or lack thereof affect others sometimes, but we sure feel the hurt, don't we? Hugs to you!
I can totally relate to this post.
When I take the kids to the pool in the summer (at home full-time), I feel guilty that I'm not at home typing. It is totally ridiculous. I really do like my work and at 37, I am making an effort to try and get out with friends once in a while. We just moved to a new town and I've met some other Moms, so I've been doing some breakfast meets. We haven't found a church yet, but I think that's my next step to finding some social moments for myself. The kids keep me busy, but they are in school all day. 
Relate to many things in your post...
I had a hysterectomy at age 51 and was on tamoxifen at the same time. My doctor would not prescribe any HRT. Tried Wellbutrin and herbal remedies without seeing much difference. I'm now 60 and have just begun to feel "normal." I am on an antianxiety medication (Xanax) now and probably will be for a long time. Did have hot flashes so immediate and severe that they would bring on a headache, sweating, lightheadedness, loss of focus, and mood swings--my mood tended to be depressed and anxious rather than angry, although did have much less patience with everything and everyone. Yes, it certainly does not help when men think we are the only ones affected by hormones!
I certainly can relate! We have the exact same situation!
Especially since our son started working for my husband, he never has to leave the house. We're back to back in our office. Sometimes I say it's better when we're fighting because I get more work done. When we're in a good mood, and gab too much!
I can relate, my mom died 09-2004, so almost 3 years now - sm
and I still miss her terribly. I tear up everytime I think about her, seems to be getting worse lately instead of better. It did not help that dad remarried so fast either (9 months after mom died). My mom was like a sister to me, but a mom too. So much changed when she died. She was only 68, had valve surgery, was doing great and 9 weeks after an infection killed her, she was weeks from getting out of the hospital. She had not been ill before any of this either so that made it doubly hard to deal with. It just plain sucks and I am jealous of those who still have their moms. I hope they know what they have and make the most of it while they can.
Mine are older now, but I can sooo relate (sm)
You're not overreacting, but when you are married into that type of family you have to pick and choose your battles. I would say your daughter is probably safe, your mil is probably being slow and careful (I hope?) but I would ask her to use some of the ear-protective type "earmuff" looking things that block out sound. It is a thin line to tread because they see nothing wrong with this type of lifestyle when it is the opposite of what you would do. Unfortunately you may have a long battle ahead of you because I have. My children are now 8 and 11 and I have been labelled the "overprotective mother" the whole time. Too bad. I do pick and choose my battles with them but if something is unsafe it is unsafe and they will just have to not like you. What are they gonna do, kick you out of the family? lol - I think not. And they have to be nice to you so they get more baby time - use your leverage, but be fair and try to give a little too. Ask yourself it is is truly dangerous before you react - if it is, then don't allow it.
i thought it was very cute and i can definitely relate. thanks for sharing romey! nm
@
I love that and can relate. Betcha have good stories :-) TY! nm
x
I totally relate..my daughter AND my mother are driving me insane.
It's funny you should mention Melodie Beattie as I went online today to look for support groups and someone mentioned that book. When I saw the description of "copendency" it fit my daughter..in EVERY category, and I know that I, of course, fell into the "enabler" category. Between my daughter calling 15 times a day and my mother..I am ready to move away and let someone else deal with them for a while. In a way, my mother is like my daughter..she also calls for money. Ironically, she does not like my daughter because of what my daughter has put me through. Funny how she doesn't realize that she does the same thing..emotional manipulation..guilt trips. I just want to be mentally free from them, and for this, I am getting help. They have drug me into depression, along with them. They are both bipolar and I think I am almost there with them, because one minute I feel so happy and positive..and then they call..and I'm depressed. I pray for strength..Thanks for your kind words. I can't help them anymore but I can save myself.
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