Big decision, I need peace of mind (nm)
Posted By: Butter and clutter on 2007-08-05
In Reply to: Giving him another chance?? When did he start showing remorse in - all of this?? Sorry, but can't understand stayi
x
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
with peace of mind 24/7 nm
x
If you think it will bring you peace of mind and you're
s
You're right there, I think real peace of mind is being able to go to bed and......sm
not only have a warm bed and a home, with food in your tummy, but also knowing that you can at least pay for heat, electricity, and food, your essentials. Any more than that is nice, but how much more?? Once you get into that "gotta have" endless cycle, it is just not worth it, it is all just "stuff" that can be gone in half a heartbeat! God bless all. I am really praying every day for those who are looking for work, my husband and I have been there, it is a heartsick and frightening situation. Don't give up, anybody!!!{{}}
You're right there, I think real peace of mind is being able to go to bed and......sm
not only have a warm bed and a home, with food in your tummy, but also knowing that you can at least pay for heat, electricity, and food, your essentials. Any more than that is nice, but how much more?? Once you get into that "gotta have" endless cycle, it is just not worth it, it is all just "stuff" that can be gone in half a heartbeat! God bless all. I am really praying every day for those who are looking for work, my husband and I have been there, it is a heartsick and frightening situation. Don't give up, anybody!!!{{}}
Wean yourself from her, little by little, for your own peace of mind. She'll either get the mess
x
Google post tubal peace of mind syndrome
Nah, just kidding but I had a tubal at age 29 after my second child, knew definitely did not want another, had always said no children at all after 30 and that is what I did. Never had the first problem with it. I would not try to talk a guy into a vasectomy if he had any drawback to it because lots think it somehow takes menhood away and men can be such big babies to start with sometimes.
Peace to you too : )
Can you find one occurrence in the New Testament books of worship in the ceremonial/specific sense (going to a specific place to worship) being required of bondservants of Christ? The answer is no. Or are the occurrences of worship speaking of obedience in every area of life? The answer is yes. Do any of the Greek words used for worship occur in any sense requiring bondservants of Christ to go to Jerusalem, or to any specific place to worship God? No, they do not. Would we expect centralized ceremonial worship to be required today in light of the fact that Jews were doing this because the spirit of God was not yet given them (John 7:39)? In light of the fact that in the Old Testament, God only dwelt in temples made with hands because the Spirit was not yet inside of the people, but today, God does not dwell in temples made with hands, because the Spirit of God dwells within our bodies? If you attend church, have you been trained to search the Scriptures to find the answers to such questions as these (Acts 17:11), or do you need to ask your pastor?
Aww....be at peace, CJ. :(
s
War and Peace.
 Well, I thought my response was hilarious! I really am laughing all by myself here at that one.
Nah, actually my childhood library consisted of the timeless collection known as Little Golden Books...my favorite being Nurse Nancy. ....still love to play naughty nurse too!
I already said my peace up top
but you really shouldn't talk bad about someone you don't know. Everyone has their limits.
Mine is the same way, and yes I lie to keep the peace - sm
all the time. I have a whopper I am hiding from him right now that if/when he finds out it will either result in physical violence for which I will call 911 assuming I am able to, or divorce or both. Luckily my deceit does not weigh heavily on me or I might go crazy; I can hold a secret w/o any guilt, most people cannot and have to tell someone, I never have and never will. He freaks out as well over the d*u*m*best things and is calm over things I think are quite serious. I do wonder if he may be borderline bipolar, he is depressed and knows it but refuses to do anything about it. So our marriage has been slowly dying, though lately he has been trying for us (just the 2 of us) to do more together which is odd and surprising, and no he is not cheating though he had plenty of opps with travel and out of the house a lot; he is just to disease fearing and lazy too pursue an affair, plus he knows if I ever caught wind of one his life as he knows it would be over. I say it is okay to deceive to keep the peace, just don't trip yourself up and don't do it in front of the kids.
Rest in Peace,
Oh NO! I didn't know. I am devastated!
Thanks I'll try anything to keep the peace - NM
NM
I pray His love and peace be with you. nm
His arms are big....rest there.
Your inner peace is disrupted.....hence, the nightmares. nm
x
Rest in peace, Fred!
We just put our 22-year-old cat, Fred, to sleep this evening. He had wasted away from 17 pounds to 5 pounds and was too weak to stand or eat. He was a loving companion for the past 22 years and will be missed dearly.
Rest in peace, Fred. Benny, Gus, and Lily will be waiting in heaven to greet you with open arms!
May you have peace knowing your love will never end. My sympathies
Beyond the Rainbow
As much as I loved the life we had and all the times we played,
I was so very tired and knew my time on earth would fade.
I saw a wonderous image then of a place that's trouble-free
Where all of us can meet again to spend eternity.
I saw the most beautiful Rainbow, and on the other side
Were meadows rich and beautiful--lush and green and wide!
And running through the meadows as far as the eye could see
Were animals of every sort as healthy as could be!
My own tired, failing body was fresh and healed and new
And I wanted to go run with them, but I had something left to do.
I needed to reach out to you, to tell you I'm alright
That this place is truly wondrful, then a bright Glow pierced the night.
'Twas the Glow of many Candles shining bright and strong and bold
And I knew then that it held your love in its brilliant shades of gold.
For although we may not be together in the way we used to be,
We are still connected by a cord no eye can see.
So whenever you need to find me, we're never far apart
If you look beyond the Rainbow and listen with your heart.
C.G. 1995
...wait, that might be Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth (?) NM
.
Hopefully this child can finally rest in peace....
You know it has to be the Anthony girl.
Justice of the peace for us (we didn't even tell kids till it was over) sm
Just the way we wanted it - no muss, no fuss - 
Rest in Peace, Pavarotti. Your gift will be missed. nm
s
We must walk in love and peace every single day of our lives. sm
We never, ever know when we will be tempted to be rude or get angry. If you don't purpose to love others and count others "better than yourself," then you will fall into this kind of behavior. I never want to live like that. I desperately want people to remember for good deeds and love. I know a few people personally in my life right now who wouldn't be missed a second if something were to happen to them. Sad, sad, sad.
It is entirely your decision to do what ...sm
you want. I personally thought it was so fun doing the whole Santa thing with my son. I guess different for everybody. It is true that the true meaning of Christmas has nothing to do with Santa, but it just makes it fun with the little ones. :)
A decision on this would not be left
up to me at all. This is not something I put my 2 cents in about. Their parents would be the ones to do this, that is unless the daughter/granddaughter is of age where she makes her own decisions. I have both but someone elses decisions, not mine.
I have a decision to make
and there is literally no one in my "real life" I can go to about it.
I just found out (by accident actually) that my husband has been cheating on me online, regularly visiting a couple of girls' websites with their pics, webcams, etc.
Here's the thing: I don't want to put up with this sh*t and I don't feel I have to. We've been married for less than 2 years. I don't have any kids. I'm still young (25). I have a good education and I can make enough money to support myself.
I feel like going out somewhere to think. Maybe spend the night in a hotel to get my head straight and figure out my next move. Please offer some advice.
Oh what an agonizing decision...
I'm so sorry you are going through this. As an owner of almost all senior animals, it's something I have faced before and will soon have to face again and I dread it. I wish there was something I could say to comfort you.
Personally, if an animal in my care is showing signs of pain or distress, if there's something I can do to end that, I'm going to do it. If it's a pill or treatment I can give them and I know it's doing no further harm, and it's financially feasable for me to do, I'll do it. However, if the treatment is traumatizing or out of my league financially, I have to find some comfort in knowing I did the best that I could for them, for as long as I could, and now it's my duty to do what I believe is the right thing and end their suffering. And you know what, it sucks.
I truly believe the animals tell us when they are done, and no one knows your animals like you do. Cats though, they can be tough. So many of them are so stoic and sadly when they are really hurting they just tend to disappear off somewhere to die, especially if they can go outside.
I can't tell you what to do, only what I would do, which would be to go the euthanasia route and try to find some comfort in the fact that I was able to be strong for them and be there for them when they really needed me the most. Don't go alone, have someone drive you if you can, and don't be afraid to hold your cat just as you always would. In your arms, next to your heart, is where the love is and they know that. I wish you well in this agonizing time.
((((((hugs))))) --Kathy
I know you are upset about this and it is your decision
true enough. I probably would not like a 16-year-old to have the keys either. First of all, unless living there, lots are not responsible enough or use good logic but I was hurt, I was grown and could be trusted then and now and I would let me children have, but they are grown.
Yes, you are making the right decision (sm)
I was days away from making that decision myself with my old 20 year old baby, but she took the decision out of my hands, and I am grateful for that. Maybe your baby will too. If not, then she trusts you to do it for her. Hugs.
Yes, and it was a very hard decision...
I had moved my mom in with me after she had surgery/went through rehab.. And I took care of her for 19 months. It was so hard. She had to go back in the hospital and I was fighting with my family at the same time for help... It was really overwhelming. She is still living but unfortunately my family moved her closer to them where she did not get the best care and was eventually moved again, further away from me to a facility that I can appreciate. She looks really well and I know that she is being taken care of. I miss her. I can not visit her as often as I would like but I know that she is being taken care of... It is a very hard decision that I can not say that I don't regret. I also contemplate on a daily basis if I made the right decision. A day never passes that I don't ask myself is it time to go and get mom and bring her home?
decision on grandma
I decided to email tell my grandmother i would bring the boys to her house Tuesday to do their Christmas visiting. I haven't contacted my mother, she lives beside my grandmother; maybe she will come over when she sees my car. Who knows?
hard decision
Putting down an animal is never easy. We have lost two of our fur kids to illness, one just this past February. His was a sudden illness and completely unexpected, and when the time came when the vet knew it was almost over, we went ahead and had him put to sleep so that he would not be suffering any more. I was able to hold him when the vet gave him the shot. It was so peaceful and so quick, and I was shocked. I had this horrible image in my head of what it would be like, and it was the complete opposite. (Our other fur kid had been put to sleep immediately after surgery, so we had never seen the process).
I don't beleive you are trying to 'kill' a healthy pet. It sounds like the poor guy is suffering, and dogs I think try to "hang in there" more so than cats. Here is my opinion, for what it is worth. If he is still able to go to the bathroom and get around a bit, if he is still eating, then use this time to get her used to the idea. Talk to her plainly and tell her that he is coming to an end of his time here, and that for her to hold on to him is cruel. She needs to be aware of how he is really feeling, and pay attention if he tries to tell her. I'm not really saying this well, but I hope you get what I am trying to say. I understand your mom's position - the thought of losing someone else is extremely painful to her, and hey, we all avoid pain as much as possible. However, when she made a commitment to the dog, part of that commitment was making sure that when he was not able to be comfortable, healthy and happy any longer, she would take the steps to make sure he had as easy a passage to whatever lies beyond this life as possible. Something else she may be worried about is the whole process of putting him to sleep. If you have a good vet, and it sounds like you do, they will be able to guide her through this.
Also, let her know that she will not be alone during/after this, and make sure that someone is there with her for support.
It is a difficult situation for everyone concerned, and you have my heartfelt sympathy. I hope that what I've said here helps you. Good luck in whatever happens, and God bless.
Thank you everyone. I made a decision.
I don't know if it will work, but I'm going to put my foot down the next time my sister says anything about Mom's money. I've argued with her in the past because I don't believe she has that much. Just yesterday, when I did that and said she has much less than you think, she came off with, she's so forgetful, she's got all this money and doesn't even realize it. She's been asking for years "how does Mom sound"? Like Mom's losing it.
I can't tell Mom what to do as far as a will goes. I know she doesn't really trust her husband and doesn't want him to get whatever she does have left. I also know Mom's had a will since before I was born, so I expect she has an updated one now.
Anyway, I've decided to put my foot down and just tell her she's not to speak of it again to me or I will hang up on her, leave her house or usher her out my front door. I cannot say anything to my mother. It's liable to cause something I couldn't live with.
It's a personal decision...
I researched this topic extensively and I came to the conclusion that circumcision was not right for my family. We've had no problems because of it. I can see why both sides have their opinions, but ultimately it is up to the individual to decide what's best. For us, no circ has worked. My child is very happy to be intact, as he was created.
I think O made the right decision.
3.5 billion people, more than half the world's population have a permissive or flexible policy on human embryonic stem cell research and all have banned human reproductive cloning.
I agree with this decision.
It's simple enough for parents to know what their kids are doing on the internet. Most parents are simply too lazy, don't understand how to do it, or have somr kind of misplaced sense that a kid is entitled to privacy.
Maybe if they start seeing what the consequences are the kids will start using some judgement.
I'm telling you guys, it's all a parent can do to keep them alive until 18 in this world today.
I think it should be a personal decision....
If a person has a medically documented terminal illness and does not want to suffere any more, then I think it should be their right.
bing crosby/david bowie - peace on earth Little drummer
xx
Sounds like a smart decision.
I'd so the same if I were you. I will pray for optimal outcome for you.
Regarding hormones, remember that the recommendation is now now against hormones after some huge studies. Use has decreased a lot, and for the second year in a row, cancer rates have dropped substantially. But I don't know anything about risks of short-term use, and maybe that's what you are considering.
Thanks - that is a major factor in my decision (sm)
My children. I feel like I am choosing between my happiness and theirs and of course they should win. They are happy now, but if they had to have visitation with their dad - who is definitely a control freak - I worry about their happiness. But is it better for them to visit him than to live with him. And wouldn't I be showing them that you don't have to live like that by leaving??? it's so hard!
Because I realized it was a bad decision to move here (sm)
I had just had a C-section, we lived in an apartment. He insisted that he do the house hunting. I was at home with my newborn and my c-section recovery. He fell in love with this house and told me all that we were going to do with it. I was worried the road might be too busy but he assured me it was not. I agreed. Then when I realized that I had to have room darkening shades on the windows at night to keep out the car lights and run a fan all night to drown out car noises, and that he wasn't going to fix the termite-eaten pantry or the sagging floor, yeah, I wanted to move. If you call that selfish then you come live here.
Make him responsible for the decision
If he wants to switch schools and give up the scholarship, tell him he has to get the funding to do it. I had to do the same thing with my daughter. She gave up a good scholarship at a great private school for pharmacy because she wanted to come back closer to home to be around her boyfriend. She ended up having to take out the loans to pay for it.
There is nothing written in stone that says we have to pay for our children's educations. It is nice if you can help as a parent, but I think kids learn much more if they have some of their own resources invested.
It was a tough decision, but I'm glad you got
your daughter's input and did not have to make the decision alone. Two things will happen. She will find out what a paddling is...and it sounds like she will only need ONE lesson about that issue. The second is that the paddling is over and done with...HER choice. You can't save her from all the bad things life is going to bring her, and she brought the consequence on herself and chose her punishment.
You should be proud that she chose EDUCATION by not missing class. THAT will last a lot longer than some stinging on the bum for a few hours. It does not matter which punishment she received, she will feel regret. She will receive a lesson in following the rules and not ruin her grades by missing class.
If it were ever to happen again, I would ask for an option of extra school work of some sort...a book report, etc., or running laps around the track.
Don't let these extremists make you feel so bad. I seriously doubt there will be any bruising. You made a good choice for letting her have input into her consequence. It sounds like no matter what happens, she has learned a lesson.
Good luck to you!
I need to make a decision - any advice
I work for a wonderful company, have been there for about 5-6 years, except I worked out a pool and the work comes in about 5:00 p.m. I get up every morning at 4:30 or 5:00 a.m., ready to work. The problem is the other MTs have stayed up all night and have completed ALL of the work and I'm left with stragglers, maybe 200 lines per day. I cannot work at night becaue of other commitments. I also work for another MTSO but their platform has so many steps just to get a report completed until it's frustrating, BUT it pays the same as the other company, but only every two weeks. I'm not sure what I want to do, continue to fight to get lines every morning or just go through the 99,000 steps to get a report typed.
Any suggestions....!!!! 
I did 2 years ago. BEST decision I ever made for myself.
I was 44 when I had the surgery. I went from a 36 DDD/E to a 36 B/C, and I'm ridiculously happy about it. No more aching back. The grooves in my shoulders are almost gone. Clothes fit, and I am much more active, so I generally feel better.
I had my surgery as an outpatient. Surgery was at 8:00 a.m. and by 3:30 I was home. I won't lie to you. It was pretty painful immediately afterwards, but that's what meds are for. These are extensive incisions with layers of stitches and staples. You have to expect pain. I also had an On-Q pump for pain medication. But to be honest, I really don't think that helped all that much. I was part of a study for that, and I know that our hospital has recently stopped using it. I guess the feedback wasn't very positive. Mostly, I took Percocet for about a week. I had drains on both sides, and the pain was MUCH better once those were removed about 3 days after surgery. So the worst of the pain was during the first three postop days. After that, I was usually pretty good during the day with just Tylenol and an occasional Percocet. I did take the Percocet at night. Sleeping was tough for a while because positioning comfortably was difficult. After the drains were removed and then all of the staples and sutures (about a week), I was up and out of the house and doing my normal activities. I just wasn't doing anything high impact. A month after the surgery, I did a slow but steady 8-mile hike with a daypack on and even camped in my tent and slept on the ground for two nights. I was fine. Not absolutely pain-free, but active and happy and looking great.
I gotta tell ya! To be 46 and have perky breasts makes me smile. My scarring isn't bad at all. (Thank you Mederma!) But I never planned to do a layout for Playboy, so a few red lines under my clothes don't bother me at all, especially because I'm able to walk about without a bra, if I really want to. :) The pain is just a distant memory now, and soooo worth it. My plastic surgeon told me that breast reduction surgery receives the most positive feedback from patients, more than any other plastic surgery procedure. I can't remember the exact figure, but something like 95% of women say they are pleased they had the surgery and are happy with the results.
nursing home decision
I am living this as we speak. My father died in March of 2007. My mother became bedridden in June 2007. I had hospice come in to assist, Home Health and Hospice to be exact, and they are wonderful. They actually have their own private nursing home-type facility in the next town over. With hospice, on an occasional basis and when a bed is available, they offer the caregiver a 5-day respite at their facility. After momma went for the first time she was offered a bed there and I immediately accepted. The facility is very small and only for the 3HC clientele, with only 12 private rooms divided into 2 sides - one side with 6 beds for the terminal clients and one side with 6 beds for "residential" clients. Momma was able to stay on the residential side for 7 months; however, her condition was "stable" and Medicare would no longer pay the fee. Momma came home after that and I have again been her primary caregiver since January of this year. She is contractured, bedridden, and rarely speaks or opens her eyes. I do have a sitter that works during the daytime hours M-F so that I can actually work, run errands when I need to, and get the kids to and from school because otherwise I cannot leave the house at all because momma cannot be left alone.
I feel blessed to have found this line of work not quite 6 years ago. I have a 4-1/2 year old and a 6 year old and momma to care for so working from home has been a lifesaver.
I, too, made the promise to momma that I would not "put" her in a nursing home and I will stand by that. It's all there is left that I can do for her. Not to mention, the fact that she owns a home and has income from my late father's investments, it would cost upwards of $6,000 per month to have her placed in one, and even though the estate could pay for that, I think it's ridiculous for the type of "care" most of the public places provide.
It's a tough decision to make - even tougher if there aren't funds available like there are in our case (thanks to my great daddy) to pay for the sitter to come in and assist. But when the sitter isn't here, the kids and I must be. For the most part they understand, but sometimes they really just want to go somewhere or to the park or to McDonalds and we just can't do it. It's a huge personal sacrifice for your entire family to make to keep a parent at home. The decision isn't always just personal, though. It can be financial, too.
You will make the right decision for whatever your situation is. Whatever you decide to do, just know that your parent respects you enough to make that decision for them and that they love you.
Best of luck to you honey... hugzzzzz
Making a humane decision about a pet.
My mom lives alone and is nearing retirement. Although I live out of state, my sister is very close by and has a good relationship with my mom. My mom is very close with her grandkids. In the last 15 years my mom has been through immense family loss and in the last 5 years the sudden loss of 2 pets due to medical conditions. She has a new cat and a dog (used to be mine but she was attached and wanted me to leave him behind for her). He is a large dog, 10 years old, and having multiple medical problems. He has a number of lumps and bumps, hip problems to the point where he has injections and won't walk on the kitchen floor any longer. He does not indicate he is in pain other than his actions. But I don't think he would wimper or cry as he is a very well behaved and trained dog. My sister and I have been trying to talk to my mom about the possibility of making "the humane decision" for him or atleast preparing for it. All she will say is that SHE is "not ready yet." The vet has told her that his hip and spine problems are painful and that's what the shots are for. Nothing can be corrected and the vet will not evaluation his lumps because of his age and other problems. To further complicate the matter, he is a large dog. I have tried to explain to her that should something happen with him in her home there is no one to help her get him into the car. My BIL has recently had medical problems himself and is in no condition to be lifting a 100 lb dog off the floor. I am sure we could call on a family friend but I know my mom and she wouldn't want to "bother" anyone.
My questions is...has anyone else been through this? I don't want to convince my mom to do something she is not ready for but at the same time I don't want the dog to suffer either. Any ideas of an unconventional approach to getting her to think of him and not herself? I really feel she just doesn't want to feel any more loss and that is why she is holding on.
It would be a hard decision to make.
I would think long and hard about it if I was younger and could have cesarean, but the Doc took care of that aspect years ago.
The dramatic increase is probably because the money is good and because they need the money. I think the price used to be a lot higher when this trend started back in the ྂs or ྌs. Like all things, it's the rule of supply and demand.
I agree with the school's decision..
I am not Catholic, but I would think that parents send their children to private religious schools precisely to keep them away from things such as this.
Facing a tough decision soon (sm)
We have been renting for about 5 or 6 years, I can't remember exactly, but the landlord has since divorced and is ready to sell his house. He has always said he would offer to us first. Last year I had asked about owner financing, which he said he'd think about.
I get a call today from him stating that he's ready to take that step and that no, he cannot finance. He wants to get cash, pay off a loan he has against this house (that he had to get to pay for his divorce) and wants to move on. He's a super nice guy and said he wasn't in a major hurry, but is in the thinking phase, so he was letting me know that it's going to be available sometime this year. He said he'd give us time to talk to the bank and what not, and that he knows it will take some time to get things moving.
Thing is, I'm afraid to call the bank. Both DH and I have lousy credit right now. I asked a friend if they would still finance and she said it can't hurt to call to find out.
I guess we can go find another place to live, but I really like this area and the house (but it does need some work). The landlord told me the appraisal from 3 years ago, which I can't believe it appraised as high as he said. He said he would pay for another appraisal from a friend of his, but my friend who works in the bank said the bank would do their own appraisal and it probably wouldn't be as high as the one his friend did.
Wish us luck in figuring this out! Has anyone else ever had to face this??? If so, what did you do?
What I have are children, bills & a big decision to make (nm)
nm
nursing home - hardest decision ever sm
I had also made those promises to my folks, Dad was kept home on hospice 14 months, he had suffered brain damage from not being found for hours and was awful to all of us but we managed with a hospital bed, hospice and nurses, however, my whole family fell apart, fighting, etc., until he fell so many times and was so sick, we called 911 one night for help and hospice literally threw us out of the program. You are supposed to call them (in my state anyway) and they will sit with you while you watch them take their last breaths. Could not go through with that. Then we had no choice but nursing home, they took every cent they could get their hands on without touching my mom's and he didn't last long there. The key to those places is to research them first as when they send them from the hospital, they put them anywhere there's an opening and some are awful. So research, visit, check for smells, cleanliness, staff, the usual. If it comes to that, always visit at odd hours, with them never knowing when you're going to show up, that keeps them more on their toes. I brought all the laundry home rather than leaving it with them, as they lose it or in the case of valuables, sometimes take them. It's the worst decision in the world to make and the only way you're going to feel good about it is to research, research, and "show up" to check on them. Sometimes they'll talk you into the "assisted living" scenario, and after they clean out the bank book, they put them in a nursing home anyway, so that's a crock. Went through it with my mom as well, and she didn't make it home, I still to this day question myself as to whether my transcription work was worth it, and I have to say, if I had given it up, my kid wouldn't have gone to the college he went to, many other things would have been denied. You are in the "sandwich generation" between what to do with the parent and if you have kids, what is best for them. It's the worst place to be and only you can pray for guidance as to what to do. Bottom line - research carefully and watch for smoke and mirrors, just "show up" and if you don't like it, transfer to another facility. I think everyone who has posted feels your pain. We have enough with listening to it all day; it's tough to walk that walk. Take care, hopefully you will make the right decision. In some states you can have her in a nursing home and if she qualifies, you can also have hospice go in there for special care such as you desire for her comfort. Good luck, know we are all thinking of you.
|
