Being a military spouse, I think that...

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Well, I was in the military, and that is one of the big reasons I chose to get out! I got out in 94, so I'm not exactly sure what has changed, but here goes...

First, my mouth dropped open when I read your post! I have a 14 and 7 year old and can't imagine leaving them, sick or not! But a 3-month-old baby! When I was in, it used to be if you got pregnant, you had the choice of being discharged. Last I knew, you could request a hardship discharge, based on the circumstances of the baby being in the hospital, preemie, etc. But here's the catcher to all this...it IS the military! If they don't want to let you out, they don't have to! They can do anything they feel like! That's what is BS! Sorry, this mom should NOT be going anywhere, let alone Iraq, with her baby in this state! Wow! Okay now you got me going!

One day you should have all plotted together and when she came in the room, jumped up and saluted. ROFL

I had a barium enema quite a while ago and my splenic flexure goes up really high and then twists. Sometimes gas will get stuck in there and it will hurt like the dickens. I'm glad I had the BE, though, because I know what it is and that it will pass in a little while. If it didn't, I would be at the urgent care pronto.

I'm trying to help my son with his writing project.  the subject is military appreciation.  I can't think of anything they do for us other than fight for our country/rights and help out in times of need (such as in Katrina)

anybody have any ideas?

My husband woke up with RUQ pain, which got progressively worse.  I took him to the navy hospital ER.  They said he had a GI bug and told him to go home, drink fluids, yada yada yada.

We got about 10 minutes from the hospital when he started kicking and punching the inside of my car because of his pain.  I knew immediately what it was because I had seen both my dad and uncle go thru it. 

I flew back to the hospital and drove up to the ambulance dock, which was closer to the ER.  He was telling me not to park there - he'd get into trouble.  I told him I didn't give a rat's behind, that he was sick and that's where he was going.  There were 2 guys sitting in the ambulance who helped him into the waiting room while I parked the car.

We sat in the waiting room for a couple of hours.  They finally called him back.  Every so often, the corpsman came out and gave me an update.  I finally, almost rudely, asked him if they considered doing an IVP or a cystoscopy because of the location and severity of the pain?  He looked at me and mumbled something about them thinking about doing an IVP.  Anyway, he had a massive kidney stone.  So, they sent him home (this was on a Friday) with Tylox (Percocet equivalent).  He threw up all weekend and we thought it was due to the narcotics.  I didn't know better.  Narcotics had made me throw up before too.

I rushed him back Monday morning and he was admitted immediately.  He was septic and close to septic shock.  The uro doc said his ureters looked like tissue paper and they had to place stents in both of them.  Then, he finally gets discharged with a stent in his bladder, that was kept open, so he constantly dribbled urine.  One or two days later, I heard a loud moan.  He walked out of the bathroom with the stent in his hand.  They hadn't placed it right. 

Anyone still want government run healthcare?

Happy 4th to everyone!  Please just take a minute today to remember all of our wonderful, brave men and women who have fought to make this day possible.  This is not just another holiday to get time and a half, or just another day to complain about no work, bad hours, etc.  This is a day to celebrate our freedom, the freedom that is made possible by every member of our military!!

Please remember them in your prayers today. 

There would be only two reasons for me to run away from my home.  One reason would be voluntarily, as in winning the lottery--hence the bank.  The other would also be voluntary but there would be retribution involved--hence the Military Surplus store.

who can't say no to other people?  How do you work it out?  Are you just stuck always being the "bad guy?"

Unfortunately, the entire United States is having a difficult financial time.  It is obviously not just our household.  We have cut back everywhere we can, and I mean everywhere.  Our families are having difficult problems as well.  We also have an ex-spouse and have had unexpected increases in child support, etc. recently along with unexpected additional expenses where this is concerned.  Basically, the child "needs" new glasses, etc. even though the child really doesn't but according to the court we have to pay accordingly.  It just seems like it is one thing after another and I know it is for everyone, although the circumstances may be slightly different.

My problem is that I have been telling my husband for months that this was coming, along with Christmas, birthday, etc.  He hasn't wanted to accept it.  Although we have cut back on many things, on my initiative, it just has not sunk in for him until now...when everything finalized and we dont' know how we are going to pay all of our bills.  To top this off, he can't seem to say no to having his nephews stay the weekend, talking to his family about NOT exchanging gifts, etc.  I'm the "bad guy" because he is ok with all of it although he admits he has no idea where the money is going to come from.  I have been upfront with my family and when people ask me but is it too much to ask that he do the same?  I dont' know if it is a man thing, hurting his pride or what but he is so depressed and upset about our financial state, yet can't say no even to the smallest thing.  But of course he wants to constantly remind me (the cheap skate and tight-a$$) to cut back on groceries, etc. which I cannot possibly do any more than I have already.  We have nothing left in savings.  We have no Christmas fund. 

I'm just frustrated this morning and don't know where to go from here.  I don't want to say "I told you so" but I did tell him and he had no concerns until now...when we are seemingly headed towards financial trouble.  I have been working OT but his OT has been cut indefinitely from his employer.  I'll be darned if I'm getting a second job so he doesn't have to cut back.  I must say he doesn't buy things for himself..its just the piddling away of $20 here and $20 there on top of our already mounting unexpected expenses.

Xerox has a website set up where you can send a free printed postcard to U.S. military personnel stationed overseas showing your support and appreciation for their service to our country.  Click on the link below to be directed to their website.

I'm watching this little polling on Today show (just eating breakfast, i never watch this stuff!) and it says 63% of people would try to save their marriage if their spouse cheated and 73% of the reason was for companionship.

Personally.... I am not sure I have the capabilty of getting over something like that.  I think forgiveness is a huge part of life and relationships... but maybe it's insecurity, maybe it's about pride... but I'm not sure I could work through something like that!!  I just don't know what could possibly be an excuse!  The ladies on are saying, it usually signifies something that needs to be worked on in a relationship, well OBVIOUSLY!  And I am not one of those people that thinks if you cheat you dont love the person... but I certainly think it would be really hard to work through or accept, and knowing myself I'm not thinking I could get over it, so I guess I'd be in the percentage of NOT ever wanting to know...

I dunno, I do think it's human nature to be attracted to many different people (i am myself)... but is it human nature to want to physically be with other people?  I guess cheating can be emotional as well...

just random thoughts before I get to work!

Have a great day

I have to tell you from the other side of the coin that sometimes people grow apart for one reason or another and things happen.  Most people do not cheat because they are looking for something physical.  They are missing an emotional connection and find it elsewhere.  On the other side of this is that sometimes, not always but sometimes, when the other spouse finds out and realizes why it happened they can work through it together to get back what was missing and what brought them together in the 1st place.  I speak from the know on both sides and can tell you that you can get past it and actually end up in a  much better place than you ever were before.  . 

Is it possible he might be doing something behind your back and acusing you to justify something he has done.

My daughter just told me about a proposal her ex has suggested.  He is close to a thousand dollars in arrears for back child support.  Now he wants to negotiate a deal where my daughter will accept about half of what he owes in exchange for his adding her to his job health insurance.  She is self-employed and has not had health insurance coverage since their divorce. 

I don't think he can do that, can he?  Since he has lied about so many things I don't think she will do that unless he can prove she can be covered.  Even if he could add her, what would keep him from dropping her for spite if there are problems down the road?  Any thoughts?  Thank you.

BTDT a couple of times.  He manipulated the whole thing to his "issues" with me. 

He told counselor: She makes me angry.  Counselor looks at me:  Why do you feel the need to make him angry?

He told the counselor:  I don't like her looks.  Counselor asks me:  I have you considered getting some help with your weight and looks (umm 140 at 5Ə"??? Where was the problem?)

He told the counselor:  She makes this marriage about the kids instead of making it about me...I make all the money...I do all the work (never housework)...and she sits on the couch and eats bonbons all day (what is a bonbon?).  THIS MARRIAGE NEEDS TO BE ABOUT ME and what I want, NOT about the kids.  Counselor:  Why do love your kids so much and why can't you put him first?

LOUSY counselor.  I went to another one on my own who said:  You may not have bruises, but you are being abused.  I know the situation you are in and he forbids you to work and it isn't like you actually have the time.  It may take you some time to choose to get out.  So, lets focus on ways for you to be stronger until you can walk out the door.  HE didn't get any better HE got worse as I started to develop a backbone. 

So to all those who say go to counseling, stay in it, learn to be stronger, don't let his words hurt you...YOU ARE FULL OF IT.  You all may like being treated the way that DONE is, but I don't.  I am a person too, as is DONE.  Anyone I might ever be with needs to think I am so wonderful, special, lovely, kind... you name it, they could not stand NOT to be with me.  DONE'S husband is telling her, essentially...you okay I guess, but not that great.  Plus which, you can't do anything the way I think it should be done.  You don't have feelings because you are average looking and this marriage is all about me.  Toro poo poo.

Some of you are not very bright, I am sorry to say, but there it is.

I grew up in a family of non-yellers. Even when he was drunk, my dad didn't yell. I've raised my voice to DH twice in our entire 34 years together, and one of those times was excused because I was pregnant, hot and miserable. I've never raised my voice to my kids.

Several of my friends are big-time yellers. It makes me cringe when I hear it. I guess cause I'm not used to it.