Before I even read the other posts
Posted By: DW on 2007-10-24
In Reply to: Need advice/please don't judge me - sadgirl
I understand what you are going through, having been through it TWICE - long story, I refused to be the 'other woman' both times. You have to change the way you think about this man. Maybe your brother did bring him into your life for a reason, to help you grieve and to show you some of the qualities that you want in a man - but at this time, this is not the man for you. It is very difficult to let go. I still wonder sometimes if I did the right thing by walking away, but I could not sleep at night knowing that I destroyed someone's relationship. For history, the first instance was my high school sweetheart. He went into the Army. We wrote letters all the time and talked about marriage. So, imagine my shock when he brought home a woman he'd met while in the Army. I had one conversation with him after that. I asked him if he was happy and he said he didn't know. He couldn't be sure if he'd done the right thing by being with this other person and not me. I KNOW I could've stepped in and he would've left her. But would it have lasted? Would he eventually regret what he'd done? After all, we were different people. So, I told him that I could not talk to him any more. It was too hard. If things didn't work out with this other person, I told him he could call me any time. He is now married to this woman and I pray that he is happy. I made the right choice, as much as it hurt to let go, and that is what you have to do.
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I have read all of the posts here and --sm
in my opinion, it is time to do what you have to do. She already has feelings against you, so what difference does it make. try to protect her as best as you can. protect your gd first and foremost. Get her some help, for YOUR peace of mind. God knows what you have done to help in your lifetime. Do not worry about your siblings or what anyone else might think. Do what you have to do..it is time. good luck to you, and God bless.
Now that I read your posts..
I'm figuring that's what my problem was. I had a tubal ligation after my third child 15 years ago. I had endometrial ablation done last March because of heavy periods, which was the best thing I ever did. It was to the point that I sometimes had to get up twice a night to change everything. My doctor told me that I might need another ablation sometime down the road or maybe a hysterectomy eventually.
I have not read through all these posts, but
I had a cat pee on my daughter's new bed and was horrified. We got urine gone from wal-mart and that fixed it totally. Hope you find a solution!
I can't read posts either...
Can't read posts either!
When I read these other posts...
No kidding, Natalie.
Whenever I read the posts from forum members who are trapped in an unhappy, sometimes downright abusive domestic situation, I look over at my boyfriend and silently give thanks for hitting the jackpot with him.
The horror stories I've read on this forum about some of these men make me appreciate every single little thing he does for me (and makes me wish every forum member could find the happiness I was lucky enough to find).
The good ones ARE out there, ladies, they really are. You just have to keep opening up those Pandora's boxes until you unexpectedly come across the buried treasure!!!
I have read the above posts and really,
I am not stupid, do not need a shrink, am not in the least bit of trouble with any debtors, no one ever calls my home about a bill. I have spent money, sure, but have sold a zero lawnmower (have several left) no longer needed (4,000 for that), have only monthly small bills like electricity, water, no house payments, no car payments, nothing other than the credit card. I take several trips a year, nothing new to do for me and intend on this year also. My trips are paid in increments over several months so by the time the last payment is due, I have not paid thousands in a month in order to go. I say I spend a lot, nothing wrong with that but I am intending to pay down the credit card starting in May or so and can then throw at least $500.00 a month or more towards that. What I do now is pay what is due and the interest charge. Some months I pay extra on that. There is nothing wrong with spending really. The bad thing is when you are in debt above your ears. That is not the case here. I have been entirely out of debt several times and this will be no exception. I have no clue as to what common sense has to do with someone who spends a lot (if they can afford to).
If you had read my posts you would know
I am not only complaining of the reversed names. I am tired of trying to make something halfway close to words that we use with English that they are trying to do and very poorly. Thank goodness I could throw in the towel tomorrow if I get so ticked off I just do not want to ever hear again. Most do not have that option.
did you read my other posts? sm
am i supposed to leave him alone when he is having stomach aches every single morning because he doesn't want to go to school? (this has happened in the past too, but after a while he got over it). he won't eat at school (for two months now, at the beginning of school he was fine about eating at school). i don't want him to worry himself so much he develops an ulcer. i'm offended at your comment. i love my son very much and only want him to feel better. him feeling anxious about going to school to the point it makes him throw up in the morning, i don't think that's normal. he feels anxious about going to wal-mart, toys r us, hunting stores. is that normal too?
sorry, you hit a nerve with me.
i don't think i will comment any more about my son with this board.
thanks to the other people who seemed concerned and wish us well.
I went down below and read all the posts regarding this poster and her way of sm
parenting. Although we have absolutely no right to tell her how to raise her children, I will say that I am concerned about this way of parenting and living in general. She reminds me A LOT of my sister in law who, mind you, is absolutely perfect. Her kids are perfect, her house is perfect, her yard is perfect, everything is so perfect in her world that it leaves absolutely NO ROOM for mistake, i.e., leaving your coat at home, forgetting your lunch, etc.
I can't stand to be around my sister in law for a nano second, much less Thanksgiving dinner. If you are not perfect and your kids are not perfect, well, behind your back she will talk about you ll day long about how difficult it must be to be you. When, in reality, everyone is thinking this about her. It literally makes my stomach turn at just the mere thought of her.
I don't know about you, but my closest friends are humble, make mistakes, are far from perfect, very forgiving (which my sister in law is not), and just giving in general.
Contrast the 2: The perfectionist who thinks she is teaching her kids responsibility by not helping then when they make a mistake, instead ruling with an iron fist so that "they will never do that again!" OR the nurturing mother who understands that children have short attention spans and can get caught up in moments and will forget their coat or their lunches once in a while and that it is our responsibility to help them and guide them along the way, teaching them love, forgiveness, and that it IS okay to make a mistake.
Honestly, I feel so sorry for my nieces and nephew because of the perfectionist spirit that my sister in law gives off. She really reminds me of Mom of 3 Children. Hey wait. Maybe they are the same person!
Apparently you did not read all of her posts
either.
katie, if you read all the posts...
i think you would have to agree that it was more than a difference of opinion. the posts came across as genuine anger and lashing out.
i stand by my opinion that his/her lashing out did not originate with a tv show, that it went much deeper. i dont care to know the specifics, only pray that it gets resolved.
and that is just MY opinion!
well, I did happen to read all of the posts, and --sm
I just don't see where there was anger and lashing out, but that's just me.
and why do you read posts you have no interest in?
Perhaps no life? Grow up!
That is one of the nicest posts I have ever read on
MTStars. Thanks so much for sharing. It truly is more blessed to give than to receive. 
I can read the posts but it takes
about 15-20 seconds after you click on the post before it comes up. From NJ, Optimum online service.
I've read some of the posts
If indeed this guy has a criminal record, specifically for drugs - which you should verify the proper way through your local sheriff's office or clerk's office - I don't think you would be wrong to tell your daughter that she's not allowed to go anywhere with him. Just be prepared that she may seriously rebel! But you are right, if they're in a car together and he has drugs in the car, she could get arrested too. I would explain that to her and tell her that is your reasoning behind your decision. Yes, teenagers will do what they want most of the time anyway, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't try. My mother had the attitude of 'well you'll just do it anyway' so I was allowed to do pretty much whatever I wanted. I do NOT recommend that method! :)
Blondie, have read your posts before sm..
You sound like a very good person, very caring. I was in the same situation once with a neighbor's dog. He would go to Canada hunting and just leave his dog tied to a dog house in mid-winter in New England and I would take her into my home, feed her, keep her warm and all. This neighbor today I can say with full confidence was borderline-retarded without a doubt. I am so glad I did this. I even at one time went to the dog pound and claimed this dog who had gotten loose and said it was my own. I could not let this poor dog suffer because of its owner. All I can say is do what is in your heart, it may cost you a few dollars more but think of it is abandoned children and you are there for them. Take a good look at this guy and truly ask yourself is he is capable of the love and caring you have in your heart. I know times are tough, but perhaps you are the one who is meant to save these poor animals. Sounds like this guy is either not the sharpest tool in the shed or something else wrong with him. Does he have enough money for beer or etc., and not his dogs? Then he doesn't deserve them! Think hard about the dogs and what would happen to them if it were not for you. You are a very nice person. I hope you find an answer. As for your husband, only you can answer that question. I think he should at least stick up for you and address his dumb friend as to what his responsibility is in the situation. Good luck, Blondie, you are a sweetheart to put up with all this, and I am sure the dogs are in a better place with you. Do you have an SPCA or someone who could help with the food? Perhaps online you can find a way to make your own food suitable for dogs at a reasonable price. May God be with you. Perhaps you are meant to care for dogs in some way that would be beneficial to you in other ways. God bless you for caring. 
Try to re-read the above couple of posts
about material things. It matters not if it's yours or your husbands (a little weird to me to begin with if you're married). I think you're missing the point.
You need to read my posts more carefully.
That's exactly what I'm saying. When tonsils get infected, they do more harm than good and should be removed. I am saying that there's no corresponding indication to remove a normal, healthy, non-infected foreskin.
And incidentally, foreskin serves a protective function as well.
I can post today, but I can't read any posts. Anyone else
s
Hey, I didn't read all the posts below but sm for suggestion
Can't help ya with the subway system. I think newbies are all in the same scary boat, but internet could help.
My suggestion is one of those suitcase things on wheels that he can pull. Maybe one of those and then some sort of satchel/mailbag/backpack also.
Seems kind of cruel for this company to throw him to the wolves like that. They should be able to offer a little guidance??
Anyhow, I can't even imagine how you feel. I live in a college town with both kids in their 20s and every time they leave the house, I'm afraid they're going to get lost LOL. So I can only imagine your anxiety.
Try to help him look at it as a challenge rather than something he's going to dread. Once he gets to know the ropes, all should be fine.
Hang in there :-)
I have read all the posts below in answer to your question (sm)
and I believe your main problem lies in getting him to go to the doctor (I have one of those myself - he will probably die at home because he won't go) and in your case, he doesn't see any symptoms, so why should he go? I sympathize. It seems it might have to be something drastic to make him go. Are there other family members who might be able to help you convince him? A bribe of any kind that might work? Good luck with this. I hope you can get him to go. Sending good thoughts your way.
It's therapy. At least for me it is. I don't mind it. Just don't read the posts if you know
they will bother you. I'm sorry to be so rude, but you can't dictate what other people posts unless it's religion or politics. If you start getting into the media and bad news, then you are really censoring the board and you don't want to do that.
Edgy posts are here, just have to be quick to read them as they
x
You really need to learn to read before answering posts
She NOR her husband initiated this contact - it is related to sports. Don't insult people when you yourself don't have all the facts. It makes you look like a foolish bully.
Good for you! To read your posts, it really sounds - (sm)
like something has happened with her, since this is a change of character for her. You said she was an awesome friend for many years, and she probably was. But something happened to change that. It could be any one of many reasons, too: Drug habit, early dementia/Alzheimer's, schizophrenia, even a brain tumor. The latter sounds very possible. I wonder what her husband thinks about all this. He seems like a pretty decent guy. Depending on how you view his friendship, you may or may not want to discuss the problem with him. Maybe he needs to get her to a doctor.
I think you were lucky when he offered to do the work on your house for a low price, and DIDN'T screw it up. So many times, you hear horror stories about such things. So the fact that he did the work, and it turned out well, sounds like you have an asset in his continued friendship. BUT, you of course want nothing more to do with the wife.
The easiest thing would probably be to just cut all ties with them both, but I still have this feeling the husband is a good guy. He could be caught in the middle of all this. Or in denial that the lady has a serious mental problem going on. It would also be interesting to know WHY she lost her job. The mental issue could very likely be the reason.
Anyway, I think you were very wise to change the locks! ;D
Many posts hafta read fast cause they are pulled if
x
Moderator needs to see, unable to read posts and I am with Bellsouth, not comcast
Nothing here I guess
Chia, Chia, oh you gotta read the posts more carefully
I said getting jackets -not coats and fleece jackets at that, spread over 4 months (from debit card) of $7.50 per month). I don't know of any store I can go in and buy a jacket for around $7 using my debit card and they let me spread over 4 months. Oh, I wear them around my home all the time in the winter to give extra warmth so this is not a frivilous buy. You might say with wearing the jackets actually cutting down on my heating bill. The people who lived in my home prior to me had gas bill of over $300 per month, I keep the overall house lower temperature and my bill now around $140.00 a month.
Religious posts and political posts go to appropriate boards. NM
Goldbird
If I don't read before I go to sleep I can't fall asleep. I will read sm
until I begin to fall asleep. They say reading relaxes you fully and it works wonders for me.
I used to suffer from insomnia, but not since I've been doing this - about 5 years now.
Plus, I've grown so much and have gained wisdom by doing so. I enjoy Christian books and reading the Bible.
Where did all the posts on this go?!
This was a rather lengthy thread with a lot of feedback and support....but it all has disappeared. I noticed that happened with some other threads as well, like when admin shifts them from one heading to another (like a Word Help question getting posted under the Main Board). That's a drag because a lot of helpful things are getting lost in the shuffle 
According to the above posts, am just
glad it was lotion and nothing else… what about that Ben-Gay? I loved that one.
According to most of these posts
So no matter what means you got pregnant. Abortion is murder. I don't agree with that mentality. I believe in choice no matter what the circumstances.
Thanks everyone for your posts (sm)
I appreciate all of the info as you don't find a lot of the true problems experienced when researching on the net.
I would like not to have surgery, but I don't think my husband would be willing to get a vasectomy. I can't go the hormonal route and have been told I cannot have an IUD as I have never had children. So, I'm pretty much left with the TL option.
Thanks again all for taking the time to respond with such good information for me to consider.
It's right above the posts.....
with the autoimmune link, mental health link etc. It's the last one.
CANNOT SEE POSTS - WHAT IS GOING ON?
Any monitors out here? What is up?
Why do the above 2 posts have to keep up with
their daughter's periods- is that just to make sure you have enough feminine products or just why? Neither my mother nor I ever kept up with mine. Is this a new fad or is it wanting to know if your daughter gets pregnant or just why? Both the posts are really new to me.
Not so, those posts came in after
she posted it. Try again!
You don’t have to say it but your posts
come across strongly as really hoping for them not to go- you said showing them off- I guarantee the majority of grandparents want to show their g'kids off, either in person or in pictures they carry around. This is NOT unusual. Why do you find this strange? You have the undertones of not liking this person. Your children are picking up on this.
Thanks, I appreciate all the posts here
NM
Thanks to all for the posts!
I read each and everyone and cried with each. I know I am still in a sad state just a few months after her death and perhaps I have felt guilty because of the sadness. I do know I tried any and everything I could for her, when she got too weak to make it to the bathroom I carried her and helped her, I spoon fed her with baby food and more caloried kitten food when she was a grown cat, trying to help her regain weight, she was so thin at the end, I was her eyes when she had her stroke earlier which she recovered from and it has hurt me so bad, my heart still aches. I have replayed things in my head like 1 said- time and time again- especially of the fact that I did not hold her when she died- and 1 person said animals lots of time want to go away to die- I know this- but yet when another person on this line said that it helped me think well, ok, she might have wanted to be comfortable and alone - well she was just in the next room from me then. I realize that probably the guilt I have felt is possibly the fact I am still grieving over my loss. Gosh, I never knew a little furgirl would mean so much to me and how I loved her. Another person stated about think about the life I gave her and she probably would not have had- that is true because her mother (when pregnant) came to my door and oh course I let her come in with her babies and my furgirl was born at my home- so see we had been together all those 18 years. My husband got me 2 other brothers furguys and I do love them. I would like in my furgirls honor to adopt another homeless girl from our humane society and hope to do that before long- not to replace- no one can replace her but to give another 1 a good home. Thanks again everyone for the kind words- I really appreciate everyone taking the time to write.
Thank you all for your posts! Thanks!
Not being physically abused here, emotionally I feel like a dog on a leash-- a short one. All this info is like music to my ears. The house is in his name, but I do buy all the food/pay some of the bills -- insurance, internet and I pay for clothes ect for my children. I cannot thank you all enough. I will look into free legal help. I think that is in my state. We always had separate bank accounts so I'm okay there.
As you can see from all these posts,
it is very important to have a gynecologist skilled in epidurals.
I got my epidural immediately when I came to the hospital and 12 hours later I delivered. The epidural was in there the whole time, probably on a low dose. I had no pain at all. After giving birth I felt bad and I vomited, maybe from the morphine. The nurse kept sitting at my bedside for 2 hours, engaging me in conversations, she told me I should not go to sleep, only after 2 hours, this was a little strange to me.
This what is, the 2nd day I got up and 2 days later I went home. I had never had any bad after effects, no pain on the insertiion point in the spine, no side effects ever. Good doctor.
At my first delivery nobody gave me the option, natural or epidural, I had no idea that epidurals existed, so I delivered without painkillers at all. Had they asked me, though, I would not have accepted the epidural, because it was the first delivery and I had no idea how painful it is.
I remember that I thought to myself that I will never have sex again.
But, ...3 years later I had my daughter, with an epidural.
So, my advice is, take the epidural, but make sure to have a skilled doctor.
I may have been a little harsh in some of my posts
and if so I apologize. I truly do feel bad for you, I have sisters and I know I would be devastated. I hope someday soon you can both put this in the past and make up. I'm sure Thanksgiving may be a bit sad this year for you but I hope you can find some happiness and enjoy the day as best as possible.
These posts come across as not being very professional,
in their jobs, just the opposite. I might (and underline that) throw the clothes in the dryer but what you hear are women crying about what to do with their children, how to do their house chores around their work time- Good golly, what I am saying is I do not think a majority of the MTs on here would be able to hold down a job outside of their home because their home interferes with their work. I say either work at a job, not cry about it or do housework. One post said if inhouse would probably stand around a water fountain, that is a hoot!! No work, no production, no money. So simple.
Not sure what posts are below re marriage
but you sound so very well grounded and truly in love and love your husband and obviously he reciprocates. You are blessed but you also sound like a wonderful person who knows how to compromise when necessary and probably pick your battles - if you even have any!! I am also close to your age and going on 25 years of marriage and watch little things in the marriages of my children and I realize how much I have grown and how truly unimportant some stuff is - but sometimes you just don't see it when you are younger... wisdom definitely come with age!! You are blessed! :))
Posts being deleted - SM
Sometimes threads are pruned in order to scoot them back over out of the left-hand margin.
I suggest in the future if you have questions about your posts, e-mail them instead of complaining loudly on the board.
The thread you are referring to was pruned. It had nothing to do with the content of yours or anyone else's post.
Goldbird
I never said that - don't put words into my posts....
no need for sarcastic posts
I said pot.....
all you mentioned is most assuredly highly addictive...
been there, done that - need no lectures from an anonymous sarcastic poster 
I love all the posts concerning the
different marinades but I do believe with the MSG I can tell because of feeling like a sudden weight surge, like your bra gets a little tight and you have to unloosen it. I think this might be what they are talking about but then again I love all these brands, Lawry's included. Marinating the meat in dressings, etc. really helps the taste.
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