Been there done that
Posted By: sm on 2008-11-13
In Reply to: Please...I need someone to talk to...sm - Lolabug
If you haven't already, read books about Adult Children of Alcoholics. My dad was a serious alcoholic who managed to hold down 2 full time jobs. He was either coming home drunk in the middle of the night and waking up everyone fighting with my mother, or when he would have a day off, he was an awesome fun Dad. He never drank at home or in front of us. So it was very confusing.
Fast forward many years, at 63 he was diagnosed with cirrhosis and bleeding ulcers and had an emergency subtotal gastrectomy because he almost died. From there on, he stopped drinking because he had to, not because he wanted too. He died less than 3 years later.
He lived with me for the last 2 years and I took care of him, and we became very close. It didn't erase all the bad stuff, but I was at peace when he died.
I would try to make amends with your Dad now and let go of the past, because to put it bluntly you are a big girl now and you can't be angry about your childhood forever. It is not healthy.
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